One thing I do think would be helpful, is getting one or two individual counseling sessions in during this time, and hopefully continue them.
I do think it is a sign of your subconscious, that you don't like the idea of marriage and/or kids. Sure there are many people including women who have known their whole life that they didn't want kids, and lived that way.
But in your case I think it is inner voice talking to you.
No one is ever 100% ready to get married (because it is such a big decision). The same thing about kids, even if you WANT kids it is still a scary thing. However despite that my marriage ended badly, when we got to that point in our relationship where the next natural step was getting married, , my ex was psyched! He was the one calming me down when we were holding hands together in front of the pastor, with silly grins on our faces. In turn, sure we were nervous, but we were both EXCITED at the prospect of having a kid together. It was like we were embarking on a big adventure. So if neither of those things sparks some kind of flame within your heart when you think of her, that's a sign.
Her pushing you on this is not fair. The issue is you both went 7 years without really communicating what your wants and needs and dealbreakers are. It's BOTH of your fault that that happened. Now that you are talking about it, even went to sessions, you have uncovered some basic incompatibility/deal breakers between the two of you. That is NEITHER of your faults, it just is. It is also clear that neither of you are willing to bend on your deal breakers. And that's OK. But more conversations or "working" on it, is not going to change that. She should understand that and she is deliberately refusing to.
Breaking up will be hard. It will hurt. I don't agree this is an "abusive" situation though it could turn into that if you stay in it. Despite everything you both have a lot of history and lives shared together that will need to be unwound. So it will be hard, even if it is the right thing to do. Her trying to force it will only make you lose respect for her, yourself, or both.
If she is the decent person you think she is, while she may cry and hate you now, years from now she will totally understand. But not while you are "in the thick of it".