Author Topic: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”  (Read 5537 times)


marty998

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2018, 11:44:15 PM »
The guy is a doctor. He's not struggling under the burden of a big house. The investment growth he is complaining he missed out on he probably earns every 3 three months from his job.

$650k gets you a house like that? You'd have to spend $3million to get that here.

Everything he has listed, unmustachian that it is, he can afford without noticing it. He's also mentioned the fact it contains many of the happiest memories of his life.

Article grates on me. I just get the sense he is trying to pretend to not like it, but he'll never move out.

Morning Glory

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2018, 07:42:39 AM »
More bedrooms means more TVs, really? I bed he did not become a doctor by having TV in his room growing up.
The article was oversimplified in a pukey reader's digest sort of way, but I'm glad he saw the light.

lizzzi

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2018, 08:40:18 AM »
My brother is a fabulously wealthy MD (now mostly retired), who lives with his wife in the same little house they started out in--just have kept it well-maintained, comfortable, and very attractively decorated over all these years. People used to laugh at him and say things like, "When are you going to buy a real doctor house?", but he ignored all that and just kept driving the Chevy he bought with accumulated credit card points. I was over there one day and threw out some aluminum foil--my sister-in-law fished it out of the bin, washed and folded it, and put it back in a drawer. I swear he is worse than Pete--invented Mustachianism before Pete did. He just turned 67 last month-- rode his bike all over Maritime Canada and was thrilled to tell everybody he just installed three toilets in his daughter's rental units. The only time I ever saw him get snobby was when he was visiting me one time--asked if any of us needed any minor medical help--I mentioned that my horse had a wart, and asked him to remove it. He got all aggravated and told me to call the vet. lol

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2018, 09:39:51 AM »
More bedrooms means more TVs, really? I bed he did not become a doctor by having TV in his room growing up.
The article was oversimplified in a pukey reader's digest sort of way, but I'm glad he saw the light.
Yeah, that bothered me, as did the 5 rooms have to be 5 bedrooms. Two of his three kids must necessarily be the same sex, so he could do this:
1. Master bedroom (no TV)
2. Two kids sharing one bedroom with bunkbeds (no TV... they might talk and bond or something!)
3. Third kid in third bedroom (no TV... may hang out with siblings, read, etc.).
4. Fourth room could be a play or study room, depending on the kids' ages. No need for a TV there! Furniture would be minimal.
5. Fifth room could be a multipurpose room. Guests coming? Unroll the futons. Someone feeling crafty? Art supplies and works-in-progress can be kept there, etc.

They could keep the fourth bathroom for guests and emergencies and the cleanup would be minimal.

They could have one TV in the main room and have any video game systems hooked up to that and learn to share. Also, with the family spending less time in front of their personal TVs, they'll have more time to garden and clean (together! Bonus!).

Sure, the house may have been a mistake, but what he seems to have done WITH the house seems the bigger error.



lizzzi

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2018, 10:01:36 AM »
More bedrooms means more TVs, really? I bed he did not become a doctor by having TV in his room growing up.
The article was oversimplified in a pukey reader's digest sort of way, but I'm glad he saw the light.
Yeah, that bothered me, as did the 5 rooms have to be 5 bedrooms. Two of his three kids must necessarily be the same sex, so he could do this:
1. Master bedroom (no TV)
2. Two kids sharing one bedroom with bunkbeds (no TV... they might talk and bond or something!)
3. Third kid in third bedroom (no TV... may hang out with siblings, read, etc.).
4. Fourth room could be a play or study room, depending on the kids' ages. No need for a TV there! Furniture would be minimal.
5. Fifth room could be a multipurpose room. Guests coming? Unroll the futons. Someone feeling crafty? Art supplies and works-in-progress can be kept there, etc.

They could keep the fourth bathroom for guests and emergencies and the cleanup would be minimal.

They could have one TV in the main room and have any video game systems hooked up to that and learn to share. Also, with the family spending less time in front of their personal TVs, they'll have more time to garden and clean (together! Bonus!).

Sure, the house may have been a mistake, but what he seems to have done WITH the house seems the bigger error.

Yeah, I hate TVs in my bedroom. Who says a bedroom has to have a TV?

FINate

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2018, 10:53:09 AM »
Ridiculous!

You aren't required to buy a TV for every room or acquire a bunch of expensive furnishings just to fill a big fancy house.  Those are things you chose to do on your own.

Similarly, you don't have to care about keeping up with the Joneses if you don't want to. No one but yourself is forcing this.

If you want to live in a small and simple (and probably relatively expensive) seafront home then no need to justify it to the world.

Life is too short to be concerned with what everyone else things of your life choices.

Abe

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2018, 12:08:53 PM »
This person has a big dumb house, but also has a big dumb Whiney-pants complex. Almost all the non-financial issues can be addressed with lifestyle changes. Us physicians are always lecturing our patients on lifestyle changes (for heart disease and diabetes) - maybe he needs a different kind of lifestyle change. Next he’ll be whining about his big dumb Mercedes SUV.

I’m assuming this was ironically put in Mustachianism around the web instead of antimustachian wall of shame and comedy.

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2018, 02:11:32 PM »
Having being a fan of MMM for years I could have told you this article would have been flamed by most Mustachians. 

My target audience is high income physicians who are looking to boost their income even further with easy side jobs.  I would never pretend to be as badass as MMM nor think I could compete with that sweet, sweet 'stache. 

You guys are right - I can easily absorb this dumb money mistake.  I benefit from geographical arbitrage where housing is cheap and income is insane.

Many docs get trapped by the mindset that they need or deserve the big McMansion.  They spent the past 7-12 years working 80+ hours a week taking care of the dead and dying and now with that first big check they forget that they're $300k in debt and are a decade behind saving for retirement.  If I can help a few of those people learn from my mistake, I'll call it a win. 

I'll continue living below my means as any respectable Mustachian or Boglehead would.  I look forward to trading in my big dumb house and replacing the Joneses with seagulls. 

I wish you all the best and feel free to roast me to a crisp.  If you can't hate a rich doctor whining about his McMansion, who can you hate? 

FINate

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2018, 04:22:56 PM »
Having being a fan of MMM for years I could have told you this article would have been flamed by most Mustachians. 

My target audience is high income physicians who are looking to boost their income even further with easy side jobs.  I would never pretend to be as badass as MMM nor think I could compete with that sweet, sweet 'stache. 

You guys are right - I can easily absorb this dumb money mistake.  I benefit from geographical arbitrage where housing is cheap and income is insane.

Many docs get trapped by the mindset that they need or deserve the big McMansion.  They spent the past 7-12 years working 80+ hours a week taking care of the dead and dying and now with that first big check they forget that they're $300k in debt and are a decade behind saving for retirement.  If I can help a few of those people learn from my mistake, I'll call it a win. 

I'll continue living below my means as any respectable Mustachian or Boglehead would.  I look forward to trading in my big dumb house and replacing the Joneses with seagulls. 

I wish you all the best and feel free to roast me to a crisp.  If you can't hate a rich doctor whining about his McMansion, who can you hate?

Welcome to the forums.

Teasing you for being whiny != hate. And certainly nothing against being wealthy - the forums here are full of multimillionaires. Don't take it personally, you'll need a thick skin if you're putting yourself out in public, can ask Pete about his experience :)
« Last Edit: August 18, 2018, 04:25:08 PM by FINate »

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2018, 07:31:30 PM »
Having being a fan of MMM for years I could have told you this article would have been flamed by most Mustachians. 

My target audience is high income physicians who are looking to boost their income even further with easy side jobs.  I would never pretend to be as badass as MMM nor think I could compete with that sweet, sweet 'stache. 

You guys are right - I can easily absorb this dumb money mistake.  I benefit from geographical arbitrage where housing is cheap and income is insane.

Many docs get trapped by the mindset that they need or deserve the big McMansion.  They spent the past 7-12 years working 80+ hours a week taking care of the dead and dying and now with that first big check they forget that they're $300k in debt and are a decade behind saving for retirement.  If I can help a few of those people learn from my mistake, I'll call it a win. 

I'll continue living below my means as any respectable Mustachian or Boglehead would.  I look forward to trading in my big dumb house and replacing the Joneses with seagulls. 

I wish you all the best and feel free to roast me to a crisp.  If you can't hate a rich doctor whining about his McMansion, who can you hate?

Welcome to the forum.

I hope you manage to be a positive influence on other doctors. I know I endeavour to do the same, and you are right, it often takes just showing them the baby steps of what they don’t need to do before you can broach any substantial areas of improvement.

Expect brutal face punches here though, it’s what we do. We’re no gentler on our own respected members, so it’s cool that you’ve come here and handled it with dignity.

We have a medical professionals who want to FIRE thread where you might find some cool, like minded people.

I think anyone who has a blog or posts on a public forum is open for brutal face punches, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks and outright ridicule.  I will try to be a good influence on any high income professional who is squandering their golden ticket. 

Abe

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2018, 10:18:27 PM »
It was unclear from your article if you were planning on changing anything or selling the house. A follow up on some positive changes would help cool the flames.

I read the rest of your site and appreciate your efforts educating us physicians!
« Last Edit: August 18, 2018, 10:36:50 PM by Abe »

marty998

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2018, 05:51:22 AM »
Having being a fan of MMM for years I could have told you this article would have been flamed by most Mustachians. 

My target audience is high income physicians who are looking to boost their income even further with easy side jobs.  I would never pretend to be as badass as MMM nor think I could compete with that sweet, sweet 'stache. 

You guys are right - I can easily absorb this dumb money mistake.  I benefit from geographical arbitrage where housing is cheap and income is insane.

Many docs get trapped by the mindset that they need or deserve the big McMansion.  They spent the past 7-12 years working 80+ hours a week taking care of the dead and dying and now with that first big check they forget that they're $300k in debt and are a decade behind saving for retirement.  If I can help a few of those people learn from my mistake, I'll call it a win. 

I'll continue living below my means as any respectable Mustachian or Boglehead would.  I look forward to trading in my big dumb house and replacing the Joneses with seagulls. 

I wish you all the best and feel free to roast me to a crisp.  If you can't hate a rich doctor whining about his McMansion, who can you hate?

Welcome to the forum.

I hope you manage to be a positive influence on other doctors. I know I endeavour to do the same, and you are right, it often takes just showing them the baby steps of what they don’t need to do before you can broach any substantial areas of improvement.

Expect brutal face punches here though, it’s what we do. We’re no gentler on our own respected members, so it’s cool that you’ve come here and handled it with dignity.

We have a medical professionals who want to FIRE thread where you might find some cool, like minded people.

I think anyone who has a blog or posts on a public forum is open for brutal face punches, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks and outright ridicule.  I will try to be a good influence on any high income professional who is squandering their golden ticket.

Kudos to you for fronting up, this is most welcome.

It was unclear from your article if you were planning on changing anything or selling the house. A follow up on some positive changes would help cool the flames.

I would be interested as well. Context is everything, and sometimes (all the time?) important aspects are lost in the chase for internet clicks, making stories either embellished, or lacking in necessary detail.

YttriumNitrate

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2018, 07:26:32 AM »
Article grates on me. I just get the sense he is trying to pretend to not like it, but he'll never move out.
I got the impression that he does want to move out...to a (probably) more expensive house right by the beach that will require an even bigger down payment, have even higher property taxes, neighbors with even more manicured yards, and even higher maintenance costs. While Side Hustle Scrubs may save money on furniture, cleaning, and utilities at his future smaller beach house, that's about it.

That being said, as someone who lives 700 feet from the beach, I totally get and support his desire to move.

Side Hustle Scrubs

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2018, 05:01:34 AM »
Article grates on me. I just get the sense he is trying to pretend to not like it, but he'll never move out.
I got the impression that he does want to move out...to a (probably) more expensive house right by the beach that will require an even bigger down payment, have even higher property taxes, neighbors with even more manicured yards, and even higher maintenance costs. While Side Hustle Scrubs may save money on furniture, cleaning, and utilities at his future smaller beach house, that's about it.

That being said, as someone who lives 700 feet from the beach, I totally get and support his desire to move.

The goal of the original article was to talk about how the things you own end up owning you.  My wife and I spend way more time trying to maintain this behemoth than we want.  Over time we've grown to resent it and miss our old easy to maintain rental.  The day I found myself picking dandelions from the lawn was the day I knew I had crossed over to the dark side. 

The plan is to move next spring.  The neighborhood we're looking at is directly next to the old townhouses we used to rent.  My ideal house would be 4 bedroom house with half the square footage of my current one.  The perks of the new neighborhood include:

- No Joneses.  Most of these are summer rentals, so 9 months of the year we would have the place to ourselves. 
- It's next to the 2 things we spend all our free time:  the beach and a big state park
- NO LAWN - sand doesn't need mowing
- Less bathrooms to scrub / counter space to fill with clutter / empty rooms to heat and cool

As far as dollars and cents go, it will likely be a lateral move.  My original mortgage was 1 year's salary.  I already have the cash for the downpayment and after selling the current house I will put all the proceeds toward paying off the new house.  The goal is move in 2019 and be debt free 1-2 years after that.

It's definitely not some revolutionary financial move to let me retire at 35.  We're buying our free time back.  I never take this ridiculous income for granted.  It turns out when you live on 25% of your salary you are able to correct for all sorts of mistakes - even big dumb houses. 

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2018, 10:02:06 AM »
Re:  Side Hustle. We are cut from the same cloth... I bought my "forever home" in 2011... 3300sq ft, 3 acres. The difference is that I literally stole mine for 60% of its value. I can walk away today and more than double my money. The home is beautiful and the setting is amazing. Country living 5 miles from work. Everyone thinks that docs just collect and count huge paychecks, my friends included. I ask them how much the attorney cost them to renegotiate their new five years at work. Mine cost about $4k. Do it yourself? You'll be eaten by wolves and they will personalize anything negative that you say. I confess that the 2 bedroom 900sq ft bungalow used to be an easy life, but it would not have worked for our family today.
As for the rest of the community that love to roast docs and other high incomes, these jobs were no accident. All you needed to do was graduate the top of your class in high school, kick ass in undergrad, get accepted to a medical school, kick more ass, get a great residency, kick more ass, then graduate, get a job, get shit on and get a different job, pay back $250k of student loans, and then get caught up on the 12 years of salary you missed out on while you were kicking ass and studying... Oops, forgot you needed to pass all the board exams and become board certified. After that all you have to do is work these easy 60-80 hour weeks and CASH FAT CHECKS!!! Oops I also forgot, even though you are completely exhausted and have been on call for three nights straight, DO NOT make any mistakes or the sleazy phone book attorneys will be up your ass trying to take all of your money and assets. If any of you guys need a letter of recommendation to a college let me know and you can get started.

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2018, 03:35:46 AM »
As far as dollars and cents go, it will likely be a lateral move.  My original mortgage was 1 year's salary.  I already have the cash for the downpayment and after selling the current house I will put all the proceeds toward paying off the new house. 
Don't forget to update your article to show that even though you would have earned x if you'd put that down-payment into an ETF fund, you have earned y by putting into a house. Or not, if that's the way it goes. :)

I'd highly recommend starting on the decluttering/selling excess furniture now if you plan to move in spring. I am very bad at doing this on time and I regret it every single time I move and end up dragging many more boxes with me than I really need to (21 years after finishing college I did finally get rid of the rest of my notes and books before my last move though. At least that was something.)

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2018, 04:34:02 PM »
Re:  Side Hustle. We are cut from the same cloth... I bought my "forever home" in 2011... 3300sq ft, 3 acres. The difference is that I literally stole mine for 60% of its value. I can walk away today and more than double my money. The home is beautiful and the setting is amazing. Country living 5 miles from work. Everyone thinks that docs just collect and count huge paychecks, my friends included. I ask them how much the attorney cost them to renegotiate their new five years at work. Mine cost about $4k. Do it yourself? You'll be eaten by wolves and they will personalize anything negative that you say. I confess that the 2 bedroom 900sq ft bungalow used to be an easy life, but it would not have worked for our family today.
As for the rest of the community that love to roast docs and other high incomes, these jobs were no accident. All you needed to do was graduate the top of your class in high school, kick ass in undergrad, get accepted to a medical school, kick more ass, get a great residency, kick more ass, then graduate, get a job, get shit on and get a different job, pay back $250k of student loans, and then get caught up on the 12 years of salary you missed out on while you were kicking ass and studying... Oops, forgot you needed to pass all the board exams and become board certified. After that all you have to do is work these easy 60-80 hour weeks and CASH FAT CHECKS!!! Oops I also forgot, even though you are completely exhausted and have been on call for three nights straight, DO NOT make any mistakes or the sleazy phone book attorneys will be up your ass trying to take all of your money and assets. If any of you guys need a letter of recommendation to a college let me know and you can get started.

I would likely have been OK with everything you posted except for the fact that I pass out when copious amounts of blood.

Linea_Norway

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #18 on: August 24, 2018, 07:11:56 AM »
This blogpost resonated a lot with me, although we are not MDs.
DH (engineer) and I (software engineer) have been natural Mustachians for 15 years. Through the years, while living in our cheap first house with pretty view, we managed to pay down our low mortgage in a few years and save an additional 550.000 USD in index funds. The house was getting older and in need of a lot of repairs.
After 15 years of repairing the house and a lot still to do, we felt like buying a very new house. We looked around and only liked the houses in the high price segment (as we still need to be able to work in the city). Eventually we bought a house that cost 800.000 USD. It is 240 square meters. I have no idea how many feet that is, but it is quite big. It could sleep 5 people in separate bedrooms and we are only 2.
We bought the house cash, after selling our old house.  Not so long after buying this new house, I found the MMM website. Then I was able to calculate how much I actually needed for FIRE.  Let's say that this house has delayed our FIRE with a couple of years. I wish I had left that money in those index funds instead. We have discovered that we need to sell it to free up half of what the house is worth. The rest could be used on another place to live.
Also, the big house takes time to clean and I have started to dread it. There is a lot of floor to be cleaned, even when I only prioritize the rooms that are actively used. We also use 2 bathrooms on a daily basis, because one is situated practically close to the bedroom, but doesn't have a shower. The other one has a shower. That is 1 bathroom more to clean than in the old house.
We also have a lot of space. There is one room that DH uses for his sewing projects. Very nice to have that in a separate room, instead of using the dining table. But the room is a mess. I don't even bother cleaning it.
There is another room that contains a guest bed, my telescope equipment, bookshelves and some other stuff. And we have a whole attic, where we have another guest couch/bed and the old (big) TV. We bought a new, even bigger TV for the living room, as it is nice to be able to watch TV while in the kitchen. Again, this was before discovering this website. We were natural Mustachians, but would occasionally splurge on something unnecessary, like this house, a brand new car and a brand new telescope/bicycle. We did however replace our old dining table with a large second hand dining table and a set of fancy, second hand chairs. Just because we think a dining table in new price is just insanely expensive.
Luckily our garden is a natural patch of forest, just spruces and blueberries.
And there is the issue of the previous owner lying about a couple of things. We have already had to make 2 cases against him and there is another one coming up. This house generates so much stress only because of that.
Another thing is that there are much more neighbour houses standing close to our house and they generate noise. Much more than at the old house.
But I am now really looking forward to living in a much smaller house, although I would like to keep storage space for the hobby stuff, and a separate table for sewing projects. We will move out into the country where houses should be a lot less expensive.

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #19 on: August 24, 2018, 03:23:54 PM »
As for the rest of the community that love to roast docs and other high incomes, these jobs were no accident. All you needed to do was graduate the top of your class in high school, kick ass in undergrad, get accepted to a medical school, kick more ass, get a great residency, kick more ass, then graduate, get a job, get shit on and get a different job, pay back $250k of student loans, and then get caught up on the 12 years of salary you missed out on while you were kicking ass and studying... Oops, forgot you needed to pass all the board exams and become board certified. After that all you have to do is work these easy 60-80 hour weeks and CASH FAT CHECKS!!! Oops I also forgot, even though you are completely exhausted and have been on call for three nights straight, DO NOT make any mistakes or the sleazy phone book attorneys will be up your ass trying to take all of your money and assets. If any of you guys need a letter of recommendation to a college let me know and you can get started.

Capt j-rod, I really liked this post. Prior to meeting my SO, I had no concept of the amount of work it takes to become an attending physician. The cost of tuition was familiar, but none of the non-tuition expenses: the years of lost income; the travel costs (first for med school interviews, then residency and later, possibly, fellowship -- and sometimes for licensing exams or professional conferences as well); fees associated with licensure and board certification. It made me more than a little nauseous throughout her years of training. She frequently heard me gripe "How often do we have to renew this one?"

As soon as she finished fellowship it seemed like almost everyone we knew (especially non-doctors) started asking "When are you going to move?" We lack the temerity to assume more debt when saddled with $230k in med school loans.

(Edited to add a missing word.)
« Last Edit: August 24, 2018, 04:00:41 PM by hops »

Abe

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #20 on: August 24, 2018, 08:47:46 PM »
My wife and I are planning to stay on the West coast after finishing my fellowship. Some of the houses in the areas we are looking at are just gigantic. Who seriously would ever use that much space unless your parents are living with you (both sets - what a nightmare!). My parents are trying to convince us to buy a house with an "in law" suite. Ugh. More cleaning, bills, maintenance for a tiny extra house just for the 4 weeks a year they actually visit (and 4 other weeks my in-laws visit?) No thanks!

Ideal house: ~2500 sq ft, 4 bedrooms, 1 living room, 1 kitchen, 1 study, 2 car garage (for storage - cars can live outside like anything else that's metal).

Available houses in good school district near our potential work: 5000+ sq ft, 5-6 bedrooms, 5-6 bathrooms (ugh), above-mentioned necessary rooms, 3-4 more excess rooms to burn money in (double ugh), up to 6(!) car garage, ridiculous pool with mini waterfall (all the rage in dry areas, apparently).

Thanks for taking up all the good land with your dumb McMansions, jerks. (Not to anyone here, just in general to McMansion-building developers).
« Last Edit: August 24, 2018, 09:00:18 PM by Abe »

india dark ale

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #21 on: September 07, 2018, 10:19:49 PM »
I bought a house for $575k and I regret it. We bought it at the peak of the real estate boom. 10 years later, I can’t sell it for the same price. It has 6 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms. 5000 square feet is a lot to heat and cool. Not to mention the cleaning. And the property tax is $17k a year. Biggest mistake of my life. I wish I had stayed in my 250k house. We have made some great memories here but they could have been made anywhere.

happy

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Re: MD regrets their “big, dumb house”
« Reply #22 on: September 08, 2018, 04:14:57 AM »
Doctor here. I did that too and also regretted it. (not as big as his though).