Things you shouldn't buy used...

[I'm a red panda]

So on my "(Local) Mama's buy and sell" list someone today is asking for used pacifiers.

Walmart has these 2 for $2.78  I'm guessing she wants them free, although she didn't say.  What price would you even charge for used?

Also- I know she's going to bleach or boil them, but to me, that is really really gross.  If it was a $100 item or something, I could see, but to save $1.50 for a pacifier?

If she really can't afford it, man, that makes me very sad.

[Le Poisson]

Could be for an art project or something? I hope.

[justajane]

Was it a specific, more expensive brand? The ones we use cost more like 2 for $5. But, yeah, I wouldn't buy them used. But I probably would reuse them if a friend gave them to me. I've bought used bottles before. Or a used breast pump. I didn't see what the problem was, though I recognize it might gross some people out.

[I'm a red panda]

No, she asked for "Girl pacifiers for 3 month old"  (She did clarify she is looking for free ones... so at least she isn't trying to find someone selling. Although a "buy/sell" page is a weird place to look for freebies.)

My sister gave me hand me down bottles, but at least I know who used them, and how often they were cleaned. (Plus it was more to try a bunch of brands so I could figure out what the baby would use.) I don't think I'd take bottles from a stranger, but I'm also not in dire straights. That said- bottles cost more than pacifiers.

A breast pump... or I would not do that.  There are just too many parts that can be really difficult to clean.  Of course now the ACA requires that one be covered by insurance.  It might not be the one you want, but better than nothing.

[justajane]

I bought a lot of used Avent bottles on ebay. I replaced the nipples.

The breast pump was from a friend, but I believe another person before her had used it too.

I didn't have immunocompromised kids or preemies, so I just didn't stress about everything being 100% sterile all the time.

I now call my 16 month old's pacifiers his immune system development tool. If he drops it on the floor, I don't really clean it. Once in a while, I will boil them, but overall I don't stress. If he drops it at the doctor's office or in public I clean it, but around the house? Oh, well.

[I'm a red panda]

I bought a lot of used Avent bottles on ebay. I replaced the nipples.

That makes sense.

I've noticed most Moms, if a pacifier is dropped around the house, consider it clean if it has been wiped off on a t-shirt :)

But I still can't get behind the idea of a used one.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

Aren't you supposed to replace them periodically? Like they can break down and become a choking hazard, and over time they hold more and more germs because of the breaking down? This is super-gross.

[justajane]

Aren't you supposed to replace them periodically? Like they can break down and become a choking hazard, and over time they hold more and more germs because of the breaking down? This is super-gross.

I think the latex ones can become a choking hazard and break down. Not silicon. I do replace them once in a while, but boiling them will get rid of the germs.

[Argyle]

Wow, I didn't know pacifiers came in boy versions and girl versions.  I think gendering that kind of thing is an effort on the manufacturers' part to keep parents from passing stuff on instead of buying them new.  But for someone to want something that cheap second-hand suggests she's not very well off.  A mustachian in the making.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

Wow, I didn't know pacifiers came in boy versions and girl versions.  I think gendering that kind of thing is an effort on the manufacturers' part to keep parents from passing stuff on instead of buying them new.  But for someone to want something that cheap second-hand suggests she's not very well off.  A mustachian in the making.

Funny story: I brought Big Brother to my mom's house and forgot his paci. Mom went to Target to buy more. She didn't know they came in age ranges and was a little flummoxed. She was so excited when she found the right kind and age, she accidentally bought "girl" colors. (Think green and hot pink.)

Of course it was his favorite. I called it his "fabulous paci."

[I'm a red panda]

Wow, I didn't know pacifiers came in boy versions and girl versions.  I think gendering that kind of thing is an effort on the manufacturers' part to keep parents from passing stuff on instead of buying them new.  But for someone to want something that cheap second-hand suggests she's not very well off.  A mustachian in the making.

I put this in the mustache an category instead of the anti, because she's either poor or very frugal.

As for gendering, it's pink vs blue. Hearts or footballs. Silly to need a "girls" version.

[justajane]

Wow, I didn't know pacifiers came in boy versions and girl versions.  I think gendering that kind of thing is an effort on the manufacturers' part to keep parents from passing stuff on instead of buying them new.  But for someone to want something that cheap second-hand suggests she's not very well off.  A mustachian in the making.

Funny story: I brought Big Brother to my mom's house and forgot his paci. Mom went to Target to buy more. She didn't know they came in age ranges and was a little flummoxed. She was so excited when she found the right kind and age, she accidentally bought "girl" colors. (Think green and hot pink.)

Of course it was his favorite. I called it his "fabulous paci."

I think my husband bought the exact same package of pacifiers for our son right after he was born. Later, I asked him, "Honey, why did you buy pink pacifiers?" He thought they were red and insisted they were for at least a week. I guess we see colors differently. If girl pacifiers were half the cost of the boys, I would buy the girls. Who cares? I was even tempted to buy the girls Sketchers tennis shoes at Costco for them (on deep clearance), but I knew it wouldn't fly with my 7 year old. Plus there might be real differences in shape and size there.

[johnny847]

Wow, I didn't know pacifiers came in boy versions and girl versions.  I think gendering that kind of thing is an effort on the manufacturers' part to keep parents from passing stuff on instead of buying them new.  But for someone to want something that cheap second-hand suggests she's not very well off.  A mustachian in the making.

Funny story: I brought Big Brother to my mom's house and forgot his paci. Mom went to Target to buy more. She didn't know they came in age ranges and was a little flummoxed. She was so excited when she found the right kind and age, she accidentally bought "girl" colors. (Think green and hot pink.)

Of course it was his favorite. I called it his "fabulous paci."

I think my husband bought the exact same package of pacifiers for our son right after he was born. Later, I asked him, "Honey, why did you buy pink pacifiers?" He thought they were red and insisted they were for at least a week. I guess we see colors differently. If girl pacifiers were half the cost of the boys, I would buy the girls. Who cares? I was even tempted to buy the girls Sketchers tennis shoes at Costco for them (on deep clearance), but I knew it wouldn't fly with my 7 year old. Plus there might be real differences in shape and size there.

It has been shown that people do not agree on colors when compared to an objective measure (wavelength of light).

[nazar]

At my previous job my coworkers and I would do an annual yard sale as a group.  Preparing for my first year, the other ladies told me to be sure to bring any old makeup and nail polish I no longer wanted.  I was grossed out by the idea, but the women who did it sold every bit they had brought.  At least a pacifier can be sterilized.  Make up is an ever growing bacteria farm.

[nobodyspecial]

Make up is an ever growing bacteria farm.

Makes you wonder how anybody in film and TV survive

Although as a movie plot to wipe out all presidential candidates at the live TV debate .....

[shelivesthedream]

Make up is an ever growing bacteria farm.

Makes you wonder how anybody in film and TV survive

Although as a movie plot to wipe out all presidential candidates at the live TV debate .....

Brushes are cleaned between every use and the high volume used means that nothing sits around growing stuff for long. It's much more sanitary than home makeup.

[I'm a red panda]

At my previous job my coworkers and I would do an annual yard sale as a group.  Preparing for my first year, the other ladies told me to be sure to bring any old makeup and nail polish I no longer wanted.  I was grossed out by the idea, but the women who did it sold every bit they had brought.  At least a pacifier can be sterilized.  Make up is an ever growing bacteria farm.

You win.  That is really gross.

[Sailor Sam]

Menstrual cups?

Not long ago I enthusiastically pointed out a listserve for lightly used cups to my wife. I was assured my behaviour was wrong in a calm, but scary steady tone.

[justajane]

Menstrual cups?

Not long ago I enthusiastically pointed out a listserve for lightly used cups to my wife. I was assured my behaviour was wrong in a calm, but scary steady tone.

Meh. I'm not saying I would buy one used, but at least such things like pacifiers and menstrual cups can be boiled and thus assured that all germs and bacteria are killed. But a couch or a mattress? Not so much. Yet you'll find people on here who will buy those used.

The latter two things didn't bother me used until I bought a bed frame that came with a mattress that looked clean enough. Two weeks later we had fleas. It was not a coincidence. I am much more careful now.

[Le Poisson]

Menstrual cups?

Not long ago I enthusiastically pointed out a listserve for lightly used cups to my wife. I was assured my behaviour was wrong in a calm, but scary steady tone.

Meh. I'm not saying I would buy one used, but at least such things like pacifiers and menstrual cups can be boiled and thus assured that all germs and bacteria are killed. But a couch or a mattress? Not so much. Yet you'll find people on here who will buy those used.

The latter two things didn't bother me used until I bought a bed frame that came with a mattress that looked clean enough. Two weeks later we had fleas. It was not a coincidence. I am much more careful now.

We had a similar experience with a chair that brought in bedbugs. Now we leave 'new' used furniture out in teh pool shed for a few weeks over the winter. If the chlorine doesn't get 'em, the cold will.

[gimp]

Tires. (Unless they're stock and barely used off a new car where the owner decided to switch them out, or unless they're for burnouts or drifting or otherwise burning rubber.) Yes, that means you, members of the forum. Would you buy used brakes just because they still have 25% life left? No? Why would you buy heavily used tires to save a few bucks? They're literally the only thing between your car and the road.

[merula]

For the people who wouldn't want a used menstrual cup: have you ever used reusable medical equipment? Like a speculum or endoscope?

It's the same concept: an item that does get gross but is designed to be able to be sterilized. And hospital sterile supply departments? Not great. You've got boiling water and bleach at home, and you care about the results.

http://www.yakimaherald.com/news/state_news/thousands-tested-for-hiv-hepatitis-after-infection-risk-from-seattle/article_40747d7c-66e5-11e5-ae73-ff7ec614d624.html
http://www.generalsurgerynews.com/ViewArticle.aspx?d=In%2Bthe%2BNews&d_id=69&i=September+2015&i_id=1228&a_id=33599
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/antibiotic-resistant-superbug-found-at-california-hospital_55d5e0a0e4b07addcb45a79b

[flamingo25]

I got "used" (never actually used but not in the package) silicone pacifiers and bottles (from someone I know). I sterilized them thoroughly. Doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

[FiveSigmas]

Kleenex.

[Sailor Sam]

Yeah, no doubt silicone, or whathaveyou, can be sterilized. But wife's objection isn't about communicable diseases, it just the general yick factor. And from my observations the yick factor is stronger than rationalized argument.

Personally, I don't mind drinking from someone else's glass or bottle. This behaviour actually has a reasonable chance of getting me sick, but simply doesn't squick me out. But I sure wouldn't use second hand sex toys. Not even if I personally boiled them in sterilizing bleach water of the sexytime gods. Because yick someone else's sex toys.

[justajane]

But I sure wouldn't use second hand sex toys. Not even if I personally boiled them in sterilizing bleach water of the sexytime gods. Because yick someone else's sex toys.

Haha. I see your point. That definitely has an ick factor, even if they are sterilized. I can see how menstrual cups can be construed the same way. Frequency might play into my decision too. I.e. I tried it only once and it didn't work for me. Do you want it? Rather than, I used this for 5 years. Do you want it?

[maco]

Menstrual cups?

Not long ago I enthusiastically pointed out a listserve for lightly used cups to my wife. I was assured my behaviour was wrong in a calm, but scary steady tone.

Meh. I'm not saying I would buy one used, but at least such things like pacifiers and menstrual cups can be boiled and thus assured that all germs and bacteria are killed. But a couch or a mattress? Not so much. Yet you'll find people on here who will buy those used.

I have a friend who got her cup used. That was how she tried different models to find a good fit.

[trailrated]

Toilet Paper and condoms...

[BarkyardBQ]

Motor oil

[DagobertDuck]

But a couch or a mattress? Not so much. Yet you'll find people on here who will buy those used.

The latter two things didn't bother me used until I bought a bed frame that came with a mattress that looked clean enough. Two weeks later we had fleas. It was not a coincidence. I am much more careful now.

What's difference between buying a second hand mattress and sleeping in a hotel bed?

[justajane]

But a couch or a mattress? Not so much. Yet you'll find people on here who will buy those used.

The latter two things didn't bother me used until I bought a bed frame that came with a mattress that looked clean enough. Two weeks later we had fleas. It was not a coincidence. I am much more careful now.

What's difference between buying a second hand mattress and sleeping in a hotel bed?

A hotel bed isn't in my home where bedbugs and fleas can then migrate from the mattress, breed (or whatever they do) and then wreak havoc. Yes, fleas and bedbugs can attach to your person at a hotel and then infect your home, but it is much less likely. Like I said above, I wasn't wary of used mattresses until I got fleas from one and spent the next month frantically vacuuming to get rid of them.

[NoraLenderbee]

Toilet Paper and condoms...

These things are not generally for sale.

[Le Poisson]

No one has mentioned carseats yet...

I would take one from a family member, but Momma has a strict 'no used carseats policy'. So we pay $$$ for them new.

[justajane]

No one has mentioned carseats yet...

I would take one from a family member, but Momma has a strict 'no used carseats policy'. So we pay $$$ for them new.

I personally think this whole thing is overblown. If you inspect the car seat and the plastic is sound, I don't see why it matters all that much. The reasoning manufacturers use is that you don't know if the car seat has been in a prior accident. But what does that necessarily mean? What if I drop the car seat, which happened a few times? If it was a minor accident, I don't imagine the trauma to the could be any more detrimental than dropping the car seat. If it's a major accident, I'm guessing the car seat would show damage.

I don't know. I never used a used car seat that wasn't from a friend, but I donate car seats to a charity. As long as they are not expired, they will take them and people will use them.

[midweststache]

No one has mentioned carseats yet...

I would take one from a family member, but Momma has a strict 'no used carseats policy'. So we pay $$$ for them new.

I personally think this whole thing is overblown. If you inspect the car seat and the plastic is sound, I don't see why it matters all that much. The reasoning manufacturers use is that you don't know if the car seat has been in a prior accident. But what does that necessarily mean? What if I drop the car seat, which happened a few times? If it was a minor accident, I don't imagine the trauma to the could be any more detrimental than dropping the car seat. If it's a major accident, I'm guessing the car seat would show damage.

I don't know. I never used a used car seat that wasn't from a friend, but I donate car seats to a charity. As long as they are not expired, they will take them and people will use them.

I sure hope it's overblown. DH and I are talking about starting a family, but we don't own a car and don't live in walking distance of the hospital I would go to for L&D. We would use a car seat perhaps a total of two times in the first year of a baby's life (barring a middle-of-the-night ER visit)--to leave the hospital (in a taxi), and to travel to our hometown for a holiday (in a rental car). Part of me thinks -- why even own a carseat? Couldn't we just borrow from someone? but isn't that essentially the same thing as finding a used one?

tl;dr I'm currently grappling with how car-free people transport infants in cars without buying a $$$ carseat...

But before I foam this thread....

It seems like there are three running threads of thought with varying degrees of risk/ick tolerance:
1. Relatively cheap items that may be slightly germ-y (pacifiers, toothbrushes, etc.) (I know people who are icked out by used shoes)
2. Non-cheap items that have been in or near bodily orifices (menstrual cups, sex toys, underwear?)
3. Expensive items whose safety may be compromised after being used (car seats, tires, etc.)

As with many things, the "should" of this thread's title is highly dependent on each individual's risk/ick tolerance. While I would likely not use someone else's menstrual cup, I have no problem borrowing a car seat from a credible source or sterilizing a used toothbrush.

[argonaut_astronaut]

I personally think this whole thing is overblown. If you inspect the car seat and the plastic is sound, I don't see why it matters all that much.

I worry less about dropping/breakage and more about solvents.

Imagine the previous owner is trying to get that crusty baby whatever off of the straps so they soak the straps in brake cleaner/nail polish remover/bleach/whatever over night and rinse them off. You pick up the car seat used and the straps look sound and are sparkling clean. You install the seat and your LO in it and then get in a roll over accident. The compromised strapping breaks and your child is tumbling about the cab with little to no chance of survival.

Yes I know http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/06/07/safety-is-an-expensive-illusion/, but don't be a cheapass with life safety equipment.   No used climbing equipment, bike helmets, car seats, parachutes, etc. Source: I am an emergency responder specializing in high angle rope rescue. We REALLY care about the condition and maintenance of our gear.

[justajane]

I personally think this whole thing is overblown. If you inspect the car seat and the plastic is sound, I don't see why it matters all that much.

I worry less about dropping/breakage and more about solvents.

Imagine the previous owner is trying to get that crusty baby whatever off of the straps so they soak the straps in brake cleaner/nail polish remover/bleach/whatever over night and rinse them off. You pick up the car seat used and the straps look sound and are sparkling clean. You install the seat and your LO in it and then get in a roll over accident. The compromised strapping breaks and your child is tumbling about the cab with little to no chance of survival.

Yes I know http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/06/07/safety-is-an-expensive-illusion/, but don't be a cheapass with life safety equipment.   No used climbing equipment, bike helmets, car seats, parachutes, etc. Source: I am an emergency responder specializing in high angle rope rescue. We REALLY care about the condition and maintenance of our gear.

That's a good point. I wasn't considering the straps.

[shelivesthedream]

The solvent thing is a weirdly specific example.

I find the used car seat thing totally crazy. As someone said above, what if you drop you new car seat on the pavement? Do you go and buy a new one? And as soon as your child has sat in it, it's used! Would you therefore buy a new one for your second child?

I get that it's a safety thing and that you need it to be in good condition, but it shouldn't be a case of not buying used. It's not normal use which causes a problem: it's someone having mucked about with it, or not looked after it. So I think the advice should be "don't buy a second-hand car seat from creeps". Definitely buy it if it's from sensible-looking people and in good condition (give those straps a yank to make sure they haven't been burnt through with well-intentioned solvent!)

[justajane]

Speaking of baby stuff, don't even get me started on drop side cribs and how many perfectly good cribs were tossed into landfills because a couple of dozen kids died over a decade. Now it's illegal not only to sell them but to give them away for free on Craigslist. I have two perfectly good ones that I will probably dismantle and give away for free on Craigslist without the hardware or the metal base. I've seen tons of people re-purpose them into awesome furniture.

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but most of the deaths were from improper installation. Newsflash - if you don't put furniture together properly, it can be dangerous, especially for tiny humans (unfortunately).

[nobodyspecial]

Speaking of baby stuff....Now it's illegal not only to sell them but to give them away for free on Craigslist.

I think you can still sell babies on ebaby.com

[justajane]

Speaking of baby stuff....Now it's illegal not only to sell them but to give them away for free on Craigslist.

I think you can still sell babies on ebaby.com

Haha. Good idea. I was thinking of availing myself of the fire station (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe-haven_law), but this sounds much more lucrative.

[Le Poisson]

Speaking of baby stuff, don't even get me started on drop side cribs and how many perfectly good cribs were tossed into landfills because a couple of dozen kids died over a decade. Now it's illegal not only to sell them but to give them away for free on Craigslist. I have two perfectly good ones that I will probably dismantle and give away for free on Craigslist without the hardware or the metal base. I've seen tons of people re-purpose them into awesome furniture.

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but most of the deaths were from improper installation. Newsflash - if you don't put furniture together properly, it can be dangerous, especially for tiny humans (unfortunately).

Don't give them away!!! They make AMAZING A-frames to grow peas or beans on in the garden. Just prop the two sides against each other, lash them together at teh top with some twine or bailing wire, and you have an instant trellis. They last about 2 summers before falling apart.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

The solvent thing is a weirdly specific example.

I find the used car seat thing totally crazy. As someone said above, what if you drop you new car seat on the pavement? Do you go and buy a new one? And as soon as your child has sat in it, it's used! Would you therefore buy a new one for your second child?

I get that it's a safety thing and that you need it to be in good condition, but it shouldn't be a case of not buying used. It's not normal use which causes a problem: it's someone having mucked about with it, or not looked after it. So I think the advice should be "don't buy a second-hand car seat from creeps". Definitely buy it if it's from sensible-looking people and in good condition (give those straps a yank to make sure they haven't been burnt through with well-intentioned solvent!)

Right, you should not buy one from people you don't know! If it's someone you know, you can ASK them if they've washed the straps. You're not even supposed to immerse them in water. If in doubt, you can replace the straps by calling the manufacturer. I had to do this because I accidentally damaged the straps. I think the new ones were like twenty bucks shipped.

Another consideration: I'm not sure I would pay money for a used car seat under any circumstances, because then someone has an incentive to lie to you about it. If they ar giving it away, they have way less reason to lie.

The infant bucket car seat my sister bought for her third child is now on its third baby--I used it, then I gave it to a friend of mine. She knows we took care of it, so it is safe to use.

[argonaut_astronaut]

The solvent thing is a weirdly specific example.

I find the used car seat thing totally crazy. As someone said above, what if you drop you new car seat on the pavement? Do you go and buy a new one? And as soon as your child has sat in it, it's used! Would you therefore buy a new one for your second child?

... give those straps a yank...

The solvent thing is only trying to illustrate that you have no idea what people have done to the carseat before you got it even if there was no nefarious intent. Maybe it broke and they superglued it together, maybe they power washed it, maybe they pulled it out of the dumpster of someone who knows that the seat was broken/damaged. You simply do not know and should have no reasonable expectation that a complete stranger would divulge these details that might prevent a sale.

The "give 'em a tug" test is the same mentality as the guy hanging on to the mattress on the top of his car going down the freeway with his hand or the driver who uses the Costanza/Kramer stop short hand on the passenger. The forces involved in a car wreck at 80mph are far beyond what you can reasonably produce on a quick inspection of a car seat. What if they hold and you have just brought them closer to failure?

Now, before we all get frothed up about people wrong on the Internet (https://xkcd.com/386/), there are situations where it is reasonable to get a carseat used and it all centers around trust. Maybe you would consider getting one from a known source provided you ask a couple of general questions about the history and maintenance of the seat.  I suppose you should do the same interview in your own head when considering putting your second/third/whatever child into a seat that is not new. Yes I dropped a carseat and it cracked, and yes I replaced it.

To put a MMM twist on this discussion, this is all about risk tolerance. Your investment mix is somewhere between 100% bonds and 100% GeoCities (fo Life) based on your risk tolerance. If these were parachutes that you were expected to jump of of a plane with then your risk tolerance is somewhere between brand new and a moth eaten WWII parachute stored in a cardboard box on grandpas back porch (don't mind the mouse feces).  For carseats your risk tolerance is somewhere between brand new and this guy:

(BTW, his mileage per occupant has to be off the charts)

[shelivesthedream]

Ha ha! Nice picture!

I think you're right about the risk tolerance scale - I'm just arguing against the cash-under-a-mattress end of throwing away perfectly good, well-maintained car seats because one should never have a used one.