I relate to 100% of what you just posted, and I wish I had a useful update for you. I backslid over the summer while preparing for a big examination. This is a theme for me - the more stress and less time I have in my life, the more I rely on internet as a distraction to fill whatever time I do have.
Last week I heard someone else discussing the guilt they felt over their internet use and was a bit amazed, upon thinking, about how widespread and normalized that is. I want to envision what my internet use would look like in a perfect, guilt-free scenario, and then make some goals to move toward that. I haven't gotten around to writing anything down yet - perhaps your post will be the kick in my pants.
My suggestion would be to cut back on the forums until you feel you're losing something of significant value in your life. When I cut back, I mostly feel like I'm losing distractions - but distractions are hard to give up, it turns out.
The internet was 1000x more enticing when I was in school and a paper was due, so I feel your pain.
I've been minimizing desktop files, internet bookmarks, my email inbox, google photos and docs, and my social media accounts (deleted all but facebook after passing them through the values test) the past month since reading Digital Minimalism. I felt like I needed to muck things out before setting out on my detox. I wanted to start with a clean slate. I'll likely need a month more of mucking because I can only do it in tiny chunks right now rather than my preferred marathon mode.
So over this month I've defined my what, how, and when.
What:
-computer: gmail, google photos, google docs, facebook, 1 blog, and 2 forums
-phone: talk/text, camera/video, and as an iPod (podcasts, audio language program, music)
How:
-Freedom app shuts down internet at 7pm
-use internet during the day for task-based purposes (work, pay bills, look up an address or recipe); shift idea gathering off-line (books, magazines, newspapers, podcasts, etc)
-write ideas down on paper and filter out the excess before adding it to my google docs notes
-use facebook to stay up on in-person events for different groups in my city, to buy things second hand, and to easily contact people from my past (and present)
-use facebook groups, forums and blog as resources for specific questions related to my career, child-raising, and lifestyle (that means using it proactively rather than aimlessly; no scrolling)
-hide everything from my facebook feed, keep on top of notifications
When:
-in the evening for 30 minutes while my husband is on baby duty
My issues are the following:
-because my schedule is variable, I never know which 30 minutes of the day I'll have open, so I can't really use the freedom app to block facebook and forums during the other hours of the day. Ideally, I'd have a controls app that gives me 30 minutes total a day, to use at my leisure, and I'd block it the rest of the time. I also host in-person events through facebook and need to be somewhat available for questions and RSVP's. Not sure how to place limits with that in mind.
-will power is no match for the dopamine hits that scrolling provides (supposedly scrolling involves the same neural pathways that light up with slot machines and cocaine). It's easy to say that I won't go into my forums aimlessly, but difficult to actually do so day in and day out.
Despite the challenges, I do think there's something powerful about defining my essentials and placing everything else on the other side of the line. Maybe still difficult to ignore, but perhaps not impossible.
Something that may help me move forward is to give the forums, blogs and facebook groups a sabbatical. I don't want to pull the plug forever and ever, but I could probably get by just fine for a year. And if I am avidly re-investing in my off-screen life during that time, as is suggested in Digital Minimalism, it'd be even more doable.
So maybe that's my answer. Finish mucking out. Take a year's break from scrolling by stepping back completely from my forums. Meanwhile, invest heavily in my off-screen life. Take stock September 2020. I may have insight then that I don't have now for how to avoid getting sucked in, while still staying connected to the best the internet has to offer.