I had to come comment because I loathe the phrase, 'someone else raising your children' and all the garbage associated with it. After my first daughter I went back to work Full-Time. It was hard, but it was also good to get some space after dealing with some awful PP depression. When we found out that we were expecting again just four months later we had good plans in place for a long maternity leave with the oldest still going to daycare a few days a week. Anti-mustachian? Sure. Did it possibly save me from having an intense bought of PPD and hurting myself? Absolutely. When my little was about a year old I told work that I didn't want to continue in my current role (just couldn't get excited about marketing anymore) and they offered to put me down to PT with a slight pay cut. I jumped at it. For us, home life had started to decline a little once we had a two and one year old. They were everywhere, the house was messy all the time, laundry stacked up and we were eating like garbage. Something had to give. My job made the choice for me. For our situation it's been great, my job bumps me back up to full time during busy periods so I bring in some extra money, and our daycare has been accommodating. Though we technically pay more for them to be part-time than full-time (per hour). I am able to get stuff done around the house so that we feel put together, but I also go to work three days a week. Bring in some cash for the family, stay employed at a very flexible company, keep up the resume, and get to talk to people about things other than snacks and their bodily functions.
I love my kids dearly, but they can be total farts. Having a two and three year old is not for the faint of heart and at the end of some days I go lock myself in my bedroom and just sit in silence while they swarm Dad for ten minutes. I think that every family is best served differently. My daycare is amazing and they do things there that I would never attempt at home (like say learning your letters by spraying shaving foam all over the table and then drawing in it!?), so in that respect it's priceless to me. My kids are phenomenal with other adults because they respect the teacher role, and they play really well with other kids (mostly). It really is endearing to see them hug their teachers, and reach for them when I leave. It makes me feel GOOD that other adults comfort and care for them. It doesn't make me feel like a failure, or jealous or less of a Mom. I'm more than willing to take the help I can! Other families really are best served by having a parent at home, homeschooling, be attentive to different needs etc. Neither is the 'right' answer. It really annoys me when people play the 'someone else raising your kids' card. When my kids cry, do they cry for Mama or Miss So & So? The phrase it takes a village to raise a child is totally true. Sometimes, you have a paid village and sometimes you don't.
So, OP - to your original question, our breaking point was just home life getting neglected and what worked for us was me working part-time and being home part time with the kids. They still get all the awesome benefits of their daycare, but they get two 'silly-days' with Mama every week, and the house is better taken care of. For right now it's working great, we'll see what the next few years old, especially as they go off to school. I seriously don't know how working parents do all the half days, late start, early release, planning days, long breaks, snow days etc. It gives me panic just thinking of it all!