Author Topic: Why I love teens  (Read 1724 times)

CindyBS

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Why I love teens
« on: December 24, 2017, 08:07:07 AM »
I think teenagers get a bad rep. 

It is Christmas Eve mid-morning and after sleeping through the night, just like I have every night for the past few weeks, my teens are still asleep.  The whole Santa thing is done for us, so no worrying about that.  Tomorrow we will all sleep in until a desired time and then have a leisurely brunch.  There will be no extremely early wake ups, crying, being overstimulated, worrying about being too sugared up, missing a nap, etc.

We have spent the past few days watching movies together, hanging out, etc.  We can talk about books we have both liked to read, watch interesting science documentaries together and enjoy similar activities.  No schlepping the kids to child oriented activities geared solely to little kids full of crowds, strollers and crying babies.  I stocked the fridge and pantry and have taken a few days off from cooking normal meals.  The kids can fend for themselves making food.  We had an enjoyable time making and decorating cookies and my son made some very cute ones - his decorating skills are better than mine.  There was minimal mess to clean up.

My overall point is - I used to fear having teens, and I have grown to discover it has been one of my favorite stages thus far.  They have some annoying behaviors, but don't kids at every stage? 

I was not a baby/toddler person and used to feel guilty about that.  Now I realize it just wasn't the stage for me.   

I'm sharing my thoughts to hopefully help people like me who feared teenage years and/or don't like the little kid stuff.   

PepperPotts

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2017, 09:51:29 AM »
Hear Hear.
My 12 and 14yr old slept until 9:30, which is a treat for them. 
Christmas seems much less "busy" now. 
Friday's highlight was lunch as a family at a Chinese restaurant and going to see StarWars. (I'd been looking forward to this day for weeks, usually hubby and I are working through Christmas Eve but we both took off Friday.)
Saturday's highlight was my 12yr daughter's Girl Scout troop went "Caroling for Cans", singing carols by candlelight to neighbors in exchange for canned goods or donations to the local food bank.  They received $100 and 70# of food. We admired Christmas lights on the drive to and fro. My 14 year old son helped make dinner, a recipe he'd been begging for for weeks--coriander wings with homemade mac&cheese. 
Here it is, Christmas Eve, and I'm sitting on my laptop, admiring my tree. Everything's done, planned out, keeping it simple with the meals--pizza and salad tonight, ham, dirty rice and veggies tomorrow.  The presents are wrapped, and it didn't take forever.  We set a budget and stuck to it, a few gifts each. 
Church this afternoon, then a little time with the grandparents.  Maybe a nice long walk with the dog on the greenline tomorrow.  It won't be crowded!
The teen years are stereotypically bad years, but so far, I've enjoyed seeing them grow into young adults. It's my goal to see them turn into fully functioning adults, so we regularly work on cooking, cleaning, budgeting, life skills.  The job of the adolescent is separating from the parents. 
I agree the holidays are easier and more laid back.  We don't have to keep up the Santa charade, and the kids understand that the budget is not limitless.  We can choose activities that are fun but don't break the bank. 

Lichen

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2017, 09:55:44 AM »
Hear, hear!

I was told so many horror stories about teens. I thought I was an awful teen. It took many years for me to realize I was only an awful teen to my mother, who enjoyed the attention from her shallow friends of having an awful teen and thus molded me to fit her needs/expectations.

My teen and almost teen are awesome. They are excited for the holiday, but not over the top. It's Christmas eve and they woke up and did their weekly chores like every Sunday. I was going to give them the day off but they just launched into it with no arguments so I decided why bother?

The eldest has gone to a few activities over break, but he took the bus -- no driving for me! He needed cookies for one event. He made them and walked to the store to buy butter since we were out. Even cleaned up the kitchen afterward.

Both boys put up decorations and decided to go simple -- just the tree and mantle stuff. Yay! I sipped coffee and watched/chatted with them as they did it. Eldest has already offered to take it down on the 26, says he's tired of looking at it and just ready for everything to return to normal. Double yay!

I too wasn't a baby person. Felt so guilty with the first, but got over it by the second one and just did my best.  Don't really enjoy kids until they can talk back ;) I'd rather have a conversation with a child rather than guess what he wants from the pitch of his cries. I also enjoyed the terrible twos/threes. Finally! They could dress themselves, handle toilet stuff, and procure simple snacks on their own. They could speak clearly and have some interesting thoughts to share, plus that age is hilarious.

Let's hear it for teens, an underappreciated stage in many families!

Laura33

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2017, 02:58:07 PM »
ITA.  This is my first year with no daycare pickups, and the kids are old enough to fend for themselves if I am home too late to make dinner, and soon DD will have her full license and be able to get herself to her own activities and help me with DS, and itís sort of magic.

But the even bigger issue is that DD has desperately wanted to be an adult since she was, oh, 9 months old and determined to walk.  And the closer she gets to that point, the more she can just freaking *relax* about it and not work so hard to persuade us that she is independent and competent and capable (and not lose it so regularly when she perceived us as doubting or interfering).  And the best part is that, when she doesnít need to try so hard, it turns out she is a really delightful human being to be around! 

So, yeah.  So far, this is far and away the best parenting year yet (knock on wood).  Talk about a great Christmas present!
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BAM

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2017, 03:09:47 PM »
I agree - teens are great! The early 20s are proving to be good too although they are gone most of the time, away at college or working full time when they are home.

They are independent - do their own laundry, find their own foods, get themselves to their own activities, etc. They help A LOT - making dinner for everyone, babysitting younger siblings, cleaning and cooking. And, my favorite part, they are so interesting to talk to. We don't always agree on everything, nor should we, but the conversations are at an adult level, about books, movies, life. I miss them dearly when they are away. DH always said we were raising our own friends and that is proving to be true - we have many enjoyable times.

Today, we sort of slept in - 7:30 which for us is sleeping in. Kids did breakfast by themselves - some of the olders helping the youngers. Everyone has wrapped their own presents for others. DH is prepping for a hunting trip the day after Christmas while I work on some homeschool planning for when we start back in January. Older kids have made our breakfast stuff for tomorrow and will help with the lunch/dinner stuff tomorrow.
When we decorated our tree, I just handed out ornaments. They hung everything. To get the tree, DH just drove them (we cut one ourselves). They cut it, hauled it and strapped it to the car.
It's nice and relaxed here too even with youngers since we have so many olders that set the tone and help out.

I will admit, though, that I have enjoyed every stage and still am enjoying every stage except infant since our youngest is now 2.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2017, 01:51:10 PM »
ewwww... I am going to be the spoiler here. Not to much. My 4 right now to me are in the sweet spot. 12 and 13 18 and 19 home from college. 14-17 not so much! I think its the makeup of the whole family dynamic. When my older two were say 15 and 16 they would just nonstop jazz up my younger two. This year its been really nice and special.
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SomedayStache

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2017, 05:06:46 PM »
This thread gives me hope.

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spartanswami

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2017, 05:52:35 PM »
Which planet are you and your teens from?

My DW and I laughed out loud thinking this was satire.....till we realized you weren't joking.

Awesome job all of you......maybe I can still hold out hope?...yes??

CindyBS

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2017, 06:51:26 AM »
Which planet are you and your teens from?

My DW and I laughed out loud thinking this was satire.....till we realized you weren't joking.

Awesome job all of you......maybe I can still hold out hope?...yes??

I assure you we are earthlings.

It helps that my oldest has Autism (basically Asperger's Syndrome).  Aspie's tend to be a low drama in general.

I think a lot of it is how suited you are to different ages.  I do have good kids, but it is also that I am more suited to deal with this age than the younger ages. 

Julard

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2017, 08:12:55 PM »
Quote
It helps that my oldest has Autism (basically Asperger's Syndrome).  Aspie's tend to be a low drama in general.
If only this was true. No two the same - mine can be very highly strung and difficult - issues with food being non-standard, too much noise and commotion etc. Ah well. 

I did enjoy the later morning though.  It's the first year I've had that, even at 13 and 15.

Chrissy

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Re: Why I love teens
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2017, 09:10:34 AM »
It is Christmas Eve mid-morning and after sleeping through the night, just like I have every night for the past few weeks, my teens are still asleep.  The whole Santa thing is done for us, so no worrying about that.  Tomorrow we will all sleep in until a desired time and then have a leisurely brunch.  There will be no extremely early wake ups, crying, being overstimulated, worrying about being too sugared up, missing a nap, etc.

We have spent the past few days watching movies together, hanging out, etc.  We can talk about books we have both liked to read, watch interesting science documentaries together and enjoy similar activities.  No schlepping the kids to child oriented activities geared solely to little kids full of crowds, strollers and crying babies.  I stocked the fridge and pantry and have taken a few days off from cooking normal meals.  The kids can fend for themselves making food.  We had an enjoyable time making and decorating cookies and my son made some very cute ones - his decorating skills are better than mine.  There was minimal mess to clean up.   

Thanks for this post, CindyBS.  We have a toddler and are expecting, and, GURL, I long for the day...