What efficiencies have you put into place post kids?

[Gin1984]

When people talk about working parents and kids, all I hear is outsource, throw money at it.  I'm sure people here have other ideas on how to make working parent life easier.  So what are your parenting hacks?

[gatortator]

for us, a routine to reduce number of desicions was key. 

that meant laying out clothes and prepping lunches the night before. 
simple breakfasts that we started training the kids to make themselves-- instant oatmeal, toast and peanut butter.....

for dinners-- go routine here too...  leftovers Monday , pasta Tuesday, casserole Wednesday ......

[maisymouser]

My little dude is about to turn 15 months old, and life isn't too bad right now. No outsourcing requested!

I certainly felt like the first year was tremendously hard and we did more 'outsourcing' than we would like, though for me that meant buying the occasional package of disposable diapers instead of using cloth and purchasing a few brand new things that I would have preferred we had gotten used, like sippy cups and nursing stuff.

We didn't have to go out to eat because we were A) prepared with freezer meals up the wazoo, and B) were simply in the habit of never going out to eat. It would have seemed (and still seems like) more of a hassle to eat out, thankfully fitting in with my mustachian way of life. I didn't feel great about hiring a babysitter whenever we felt tired or like we needed a break and we only did this about two or three times that first year.

A major part of being able to make it through newborn and baby phase is having a good relationship with your spouse (if you are raising a kid with one, that is- I can't imagine how tough it would be without a coparent). My SO and I have gotten much better at naturally trading off activities and juggling household items. I guess our philosophy is to try and do what needs done, regardless of whether or not we are the one watching the kid at the moment. A lot of our time is spent either watching kiddo or catching up when we are together.

It's helped a great deal that we have intentionally designed our lives to be pretty simple and mustachian to begin with. We have a good deal of grit and don't make a big deal of extra dishes or having a slightly messy house. We don't watch a ton of TV and we don't go out much. For the better or the worse, not pressuring ourselves to do more than the absolute minimum (work and spend quality time with the family) is what has made it work for us without outsourcing. I moved to a house 6 miles from a new job (100% because of the ideals I took on when I read the MMM blog) so my commute doesn't eat up a bunch of my time, and I feel like I have enough time to get household things done.

Now that we have a full-blown toddler, we are even more so on autopilot with the whole no-outsourcing thing. It doesn't even cross my mind that we could eat out or call a babysitter if things get hectic. We always have SOMETHING in the pantry to eat, even if it's just pasta and dried bananas for a night. If the living room gets messy, we wait until the weekend to clean it.

Maybe things will change as the little guy gets older, but even with a toddler that runs around and gets into everything, I don't see what I could possibly need to pay for to make life any better.

[ysette9]

Routines are good because like someone else mentioned, you want to reduce the number of decisions being made. A big part of becoming more efficient is the mental load of figuring that all up and getting stuff set up in advance. Have a guess at who often ends up doing that task.....

For example, I’m about to go to bed and I’ve got as much set up for the night as possible. All the bottle/pumping dishes are clean and set up at my pump spot. Pre-pumped milk is measured out into bottles in the fridge that just need to be pulled out. The midnight drugs for me and the baby are on the table next to the pump stuff so it is within arm’s reach at a moment’s notice. My husband has first shift and he is armed with the first bottle .

Also: baby wear. Makes multitasking much easier.

For me making sure “a place for everything and everything in its place” means less thinking about where to find things and less time running around looking for the keys when you are already late. I’m trying to impress the same idea into my kids with their stuff.

The last thing I’ll note is that when you get more jealous of your time you quickly cut out the bullshit to focus on the core important things.

[mrsnamemustache]

I think a short commute might be #1 hack. Time saved is key. Even better is a short bike commute so you also save time exercising. #2 is low expectations for cleanliness.

(Just noticed these are consistent with earlier poster)

[better late]

Wireless phone headset so you can fold laundry/cook/tidy etc while talking to friends/family/the dr billing department who somehow didn’t run your visit through insurance and has had you on hold for 5 minutes.

[GuitarStv]

We switched to cooking three big meals on the weekend.  Then we eat the meals for the remainder of the week.  This frees up a lot of time every day (no pots and pans to wash, no time to prep the meal, just reheat it and go).  Even though it kills half of one of your weekend days, it is still a net savings.

Whenever you can, avoid having two parents wasting time with the child.  Rotating regularly helps prevent you from blowing up when the kid gets particularly obnoxious.  This is obviously a no-brainer for when you've got errands to run, but also schedule time away from the kid where you can just out and out stop doing anything and scrape together some small bits of your remaining sanity.  Even being near a child can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

[englishteacheralex]

We switched to cooking three big meals on the weekend.  Then we eat the meals for the remainder of the week.  This frees up a lot of time every day (no pots and pans to wash, no time to prep the meal, just reheat it and go).  Even though it kills half of one of your weekend days, it is still a net savings.

Whenever you can, avoid having two parents wasting time with the child.  Rotating regularly helps prevent you from blowing up when the kid gets particularly obnoxious.  This is obviously a no-brainer for when you've got errands to run, but also schedule time away from the kid where you can just out and out stop doing anything and scrape together some small bits of your remaining sanity.  Even being near a child can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

LOL seconded. Preach. Also...glad it's not just us.

[Teachstache]

We switched to cooking three big meals on the weekend.  Then we eat the meals for the remainder of the week.  This frees up a lot of time every day (no pots and pans to wash, no time to prep the meal, just reheat it and go).  Even though it kills half of one of your weekend days, it is still a net savings.

Whenever you can, avoid having two parents wasting time with the child.  Rotating regularly helps prevent you from blowing up when the kid gets particularly obnoxious.  This is obviously a no-brainer for when you've got errands to run, but also schedule time away from the kid where you can just out and out stop doing anything and scrape together some small bits of your remaining sanity.  Even being near a child can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

LOL seconded. Preach. Also...glad it's not just us.

Agreed. We took our 4 year old son to a MMM Meetup & ended up trading off who'd entertain him. Thankfully it was at the library.

[gaja]

Be very careful about which fights we choose, and which we let go. The fights we let go:
-how the kids looked. If they wanted to dress in boots, wool hat, striped thights, princess dress, and a floating ring: go ahead. If they are cold, they very soon start dressing warmer.
-dinner every day, and a balanced meal every dinner. If they wanted to eat only broccoli on Tuesday, and fish for every meal on Wednesday - no problem. We would run a tally in the back of our heads to ensure they got all types of nutrients in the course of a week or so. But not day to day.
-A tidy house.
-Tons of acitivites. This was not a fight per se, but a very strong expectation from the rest of society that we chose to ignore. The max number of activities my kids have had is two days a week. And weekends are usually spent at home, relaxing.

The fights  we took:
-Sleeping schedules
-Everyone helps out as much as they can. The kids started packing their own lunches when they were 3 y.o.
-Walking to kindergarten and school. Every day, no matter the weather (or, almost: DH has a soft heart and will indulge them every now and again)
-If you make a promise - you keep it. My kids have had a lot more freedom than other children, because I can trust them. From they were just a few years old, they were allowed to play in the playground on the other side of the street alone. Age 9 it was no problem sending them to the library alone (1 km away, in the town center). Sure, it can't be done everywhere, we do live in a small and safe town. But we were more relaxed than other parents in the neighbourhood.

[Hula Hoop]

We both work full time (although DH has flexibility in his schedule as he works for himself).  We basically switch off childcare.  He works all or most of the weekend but during the week he's able to walk older daughter to school and pick her up a 25 minute walk or tram ride away.  He also picks up our younger daughter at a different school at a different time and deals with the kids until I get home from work at my regular 40 hour a week job.  DH does most doctor's appointments, kid's activities (our kids do a lot but they are quite inexpensive - scouts, dance, roller skating and various other things) and other bureaucratic tasks during the week.  I deal with weekend things.

For us the most important things are:

-we live in an extremely walkable/public transit friendly neighborhood in the center of town.  We don't own a car but don't really need one.
-the school where younger DD goes to school and where older DD went until recently is on our street a couple of blocks away.  This is useful not only for the school run but also because they do after school activities at the school, they play with their friends in the courtyard after school and it generally a hub of activity.  In the summer the school runs a summer camp.  Most of their friends live here in the neighborhood so they're happy to go to the summer camp and play with all their friends.
-there is a supermarket a block away, a cheaper one about 3 blocks away and a covered food market about 2 blocks away (usually the cheapest option).
-we keep lots of easy meals in stock.  There are always fish sticks and frozen peas in the freezer along with frozen Chinese dumplings and usually frozen bread for lunches (sliced bread and rolls from the bakery).  We eat tons of pasta and rice dishes (we live in Italy so this is the norm here).  We often eat omelettes, frittata (with leftover pasta or veggies in it) or scrambled eggs for dinner.
-we have a dishwasher and washing machine which get a lot of use.  I try to hang out a load of washing or put away clean dishes every morning before taking DD2 to school and then walking to work.
-this is one I got from own mother - while we cook, we give the children snacks of cut up fresh veggies (carrots, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers mostly) to eat before dinner time.  Doesn't ruin their appetites and give them some healthy veggies while they are starving and will eat anything. 

[Gin1984]

We both work full time (although DH has flexibility in his schedule as he works for himself).  We basically switch off childcare.  He works all or most of the weekend but during the week he's able to walk older daughter to school and pick her up a 25 minute walk or tram ride away.  He also picks up our younger daughter at a different school at a different time and deals with the kids until I get home from work at my regular 40 hour a week job.  DH does most doctor's appointments, kid's activities (our kids do a lot but they are quite inexpensive - scouts, dance, roller skating and various other things) and other bureaucratic tasks during the week.  I deal with weekend things.

For us the most important things are:

-we live in an extremely walkable/public transit friendly neighborhood in the center of town.  We don't own a car but don't really need one.
-the school where younger DD goes to school and where older DD went until recently is on our street a couple of blocks away.  This is useful not only for the school run but also because they do after school activities at the school, they play with their friends in the courtyard after school and it generally a hub of activity.  In the summer the school runs a summer camp.  Most of their friends live here in the neighborhood so they're happy to go to the summer camp and play with all their friends.
-there is a supermarket a block away, a cheaper one about 3 blocks away and a covered food market about 2 blocks away (usually the cheapest option).
-we keep lots of easy meals in stock.  There are always fish sticks and frozen peas in the freezer along with frozen Chinese dumplings and usually frozen bread for lunches (sliced bread and rolls from the bakery).  We eat tons of pasta and rice dishes (we live in Italy so this is the norm here).  We often eat omelettes, frittata (with leftover pasta or veggies in it) or scrambled eggs for dinner.
-we have a dishwasher and washing machine which get a lot of use.  I try to hang out a load of washing or put away clean dishes every morning before taking DD2 to school and then walking to work.
-this is one I got from own mother - while we cook, we give the children snacks of cut up fresh veggies (carrots, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers mostly) to eat before dinner time.  Doesn't ruin their appetites and give them some healthy veggies while they are starving and will eat anything.

Now that is just genius.

[Kmp2]

We both work full time (although DH has flexibility in his schedule as he works for himself).  We basically switch off childcare.  He works all or most of the weekend but during the week he's able to walk older daughter to school and pick her up a 25 minute walk or tram ride away.  He also picks up our younger daughter at a different school at a different time and deals with the kids until I get home from work at my regular 40 hour a week job.  DH does most doctor's appointments, kid's activities (our kids do a lot but they are quite inexpensive - scouts, dance, roller skating and various other things) and other bureaucratic tasks during the week.  I deal with weekend things.

For us the most important things are:

-we live in an extremely walkable/public transit friendly neighborhood in the center of town.  We don't own a car but don't really need one.
-the school where younger DD goes to school and where older DD went until recently is on our street a couple of blocks away.  This is useful not only for the school run but also because they do after school activities at the school, they play with their friends in the courtyard after school and it generally a hub of activity.  In the summer the school runs a summer camp.  Most of their friends live here in the neighborhood so they're happy to go to the summer camp and play with all their friends.
-there is a supermarket a block away, a cheaper one about 3 blocks away and a covered food market about 2 blocks away (usually the cheapest option).
-we keep lots of easy meals in stock.  There are always fish sticks and frozen peas in the freezer along with frozen Chinese dumplings and usually frozen bread for lunches (sliced bread and rolls from the bakery).  We eat tons of pasta and rice dishes (we live in Italy so this is the norm here).  We often eat omelettes, frittata (with leftover pasta or veggies in it) or scrambled eggs for dinner.
-we have a dishwasher and washing machine which get a lot of use.  I try to hang out a load of washing or put away clean dishes every morning before taking DD2 to school and then walking to work.
-this is one I got from own mother - while we cook, we give the children snacks of cut up fresh veggies (carrots, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers mostly) to eat before dinner time.  Doesn't ruin their appetites and give them some healthy veggies while they are starving and will eat anything.

Now that is just genius.

Ooh, I second this - I give my kids frozen peas, straight from the freezer!

[chouchouu]

We rarely ate out when my kids were infants, with twins the thought of going to a restaurant and juggling two infant twins while trying to eat dinner just seemed miserable. So apart from the occasional cafe for a quick coffee the only eating outside was at parks which was a much more enjoyable experience. You can lay the babies on a blanket and eat at a slower pace.

Kids are now seven and I've taught them to cook a few things such as pasta, roast chicken, omelette etc so that helps and they make their own lunch for school. They are learning to do their own washing but still need to be supervised.

I have a bunch of "haven't had time to do the shopping" meals that can be made from pantry staples eg pasta with tomato sauce and can of lentils instead of meat, quiche with frozen spinach etc.

We have never had a car but when they were too old for the Pram but hadn't built up the stamina for long walking trips they used their scooters.


I have a present stash for birthday parties with stuff I've bought in bulk or on sale. Eg kids books bought in a set and give individual books as birthday present. It also contains presents for regifting. My kids have way too much stuff so I buy their gifts off them to regift (keep a note of who they're from on your phone so you don't reguft the giver) it's a great way for my kids to add to their savings and less toys equals less cleaning.

[Marley09]

A lot of what we do has already been mentioned, but I would like to +1 on lowering your expectations.  I like to tell myself that my family is unique and we don't need to meet anyone else's expectations.   

This suggestion is not really an efficiency, but I really promoted/pushed my kids to be able to entertain themselves and/or play with each other from an early age.  My now 3 and 5 year old can play board games or card games with each other, build a fort or just use their imaginations to entertain themselves, for an hour or longer, which frees up time for me to cook dinner, throw in wash, etc. Both of my kids could entertain themselves for very short periods by 2 years old and it is surprising how much tidying one can do in 10-15 minutes.  I also personally believe that this unstructured play time is very important for their mental growth, but that is another topic ;)

[TVRodriguez]

1. Bins by the door.  Everyone has one, into which all schoolbags (and other assorted items) go.  All bins are on a bench, and regular shoes (ie, school shoes) go under the bench.  Kids should clean out bins weekly but this never happens.  At least the mess is corralled somewhat.

2.  Lists for each kid with Routines for Morning and Evening, posted where they can see.  Youngest got pictures, middle got words and pictures, oldest got words.

3.  Accept all hand-me-downs offered.  Keep a spot in a closet where all my own donations go until I can give them away.

4.  Batch cooking on weekends, plus instant pot = good hot food quickly.

5.  EACH KID GETS ONE TYPE OF SOCK, and I buy two bags of them so they won't run out til washing day.  Seriously--HUGE help.  Get rid of all non-matching socks, have one pile for each kid and each pile is unique and all socks in pile match each other.

6.  All school paperwork gets dealt with immediately.  If it waits, it doesn't get done.  I'm working on getting the kids to fill it out for me, but no success on that yet.

7.  Leave pre-mixed chocolate milk in sippy cups on lowest shelf in fridge and cereal in low basket in pantry for 2-4 year olds to get themselves breakfast on weekends and let me sleep, for the love of G-d.  Let older kids play video games on weekend days ONLY until 8am, so I get to sleep until 8am, when they turn it off and we can do other things the rest of the day.

8.  Teach kids to do their own laundry starting around 7 or 8 years old.  Takes time to start, but they're pretty good at it now.

[bogart]

This isn't really an efficiency, but as the weather turns colder I'm reminded that I was always mystified by the parents who would depart (e.g.) the indoor swimming pool in the winter where I live, with 3 small kids bundled in coats, hats, mittens, etc., and head to the parking lot and get in a car.  If you're walking or biking, sure, but I too was car-bound (with just 1 kid) and could not be bothered to bundle either of us up.  Either we're going somewhere REALLY nearby, or the car will be warm soon (also, recommendation is that little kids shouldn't wear puffy coats in car seats, anyway), and either way, we just tough it out.  Now, we live somewhere where if the highs are in the 40s (Farenheit) we think that's chilly if not downright cold, so obviously YMMV, but while I believe in having adequate clothes in case we find we're stuck somewhere and need to walk, that doesn't mean we have to pile those clothes on for the car ride.

[Gay Burqueño Dad]

Mine is Mustachian blasphemy... but we now live in an isolated, ridiculously safe suburb (still only like 15 minutes' drive from my job downtown... yes we live in a small metro). Living here, we feel comfortable letting our 4 & 5 year olds play outside unsupervised, and in our neighborhood this is mainstream and other parents do this. This makes life at home so much better. If our kids are bored, they can go see if anyone's at the park, knock on their friends' doors, etc. The kids have way more neighborhood friends than they used to. Even when the other kids are over at our house, it's still way better than having our kids at home bored by themselves.

Because of this, cooking at home, doing house projects, etc. is way more pleasant than it previously was and I happily do a lot more of it & less taking the kids to activities outside the neighborhood.

[DaMa]

If you didn't want what was cooked for dinner, you could have cereal (with milk).  Cereal was a major food group in our house.

Once the boys had man size feet, i had two bins for socks in the laundry room - one for white, one for black.  I only bought one type of each (from Sam's Club).  They all went in there, and they helped themselves.  Including Dad.  There was no way I was going to keep track of who's socks were who's.

One I read about after mine were grown -- everyone having there own color of towels.  Towels were a major issue in a house with 6 people taking showers, many twice a day.  We went through about 80 a week.  There would have been more reuse if you knew for sure the towel was yours.

[GuitarStv]

One I read about after mine were grown -- everyone having there own color of towels.  Towels were a major issue in a house with 6 people taking showers, many twice a day.  We went through about 80 a week.  There would have been more reuse if you knew for sure the towel was yours.

There's an easier way to solve this problem.  Each person in the house gets the same colour and size of towel.  Four people means four towels.  They're all hung on the same towel rack in the same bathroom.  Towels are washed once every month, whether they need it or not.

Reuse happens because there's no other option.  :P

[Tuskalusa]

It took a long time to get to the hacks that worked, but here’s where we’ve landed:

 - Jobs: One parent with Silicon Valley Tech Job.  One parent with flexible nonprofit job. (Two Silicon Valley jobs was too hard for us. Solid budgeting allowed us to make this change.)

 - Schedules: Routines and schedules are pretty key with school. Very clear expectations around homework, bedtimes, morning routines, etc.  This was hard in the beginning, but has paid off over the years.

 - Meal planning: We plan our meals weekly and I prep on Sunday's. We bring leftovers for lunch.  We stick with easy breakfasts during the week.

 - After school care:  This has been super key for managing school end times, which can change daily. With after school care, we have a consistent pick-up time every day.

 - Outsourcing:  We have cleaning and yard help. Not very mustachian, but it alleviates a lot of arguing. Priceless.

[DaMa]

One I read about after mine were grown -- everyone having there own color of towels.  Towels were a major issue in a house with 6 people taking showers, many twice a day.  We went through about 80 a week.  There would have been more reuse if you knew for sure the towel was yours.

There's an easier way to solve this problem.  Each person in the house gets the same colour and size of towel.  Four people means four towels.  They're all hung on the same towel rack in the same bathroom.  Towels are washed once every month, whether they need it or not.

Reuse happens because there's no other option.  :P

This is so wrong.  :-)

If a towel touched someone else's used towel, it was contaminated and could not be used.  They could never be on the SAME towel rack!  That's what HOOKS are for.

In all honestly with three teenage boys, I wasn't taking chances on getting someone else's towel either.  Gross.  DD (only daughter and oldest) asked for a set of towels for Christmas when she was 16 and fire would rain from heaven if anyone touched her towels.

Oh, those were crazy years.  LOL!