I have a one-year-old and my husband and I both work full-time. The first six months with our daughter in daycare were very difficult. We couldn’t figure out a good routine and she was sick constantly which meant we were always deciding out who could leave work in the middle of the day to go get her. It was stressful, and I didn’t feel confident about my career or my home life, which was very defeating.
My best advice to you during this time is to simplify, simplify, simplify. This is not the time to prioritize extreme frugality. Outsource anything that feels burdensome to you and your spouse. We hired a housecleaner to come every other week soon after our daughter was born and it has been one of the best things for our marriage and our sanity. Is it cost-effective? Absolutely not. But it simplified our life and I can’t put a dollar amount on that. Other ways to simplify: Look into grocery delivery, plan for meals that require little cooking/effort, and maximize your lunch break. It’s amazing all of the different errands I can run when I’m by myself at lunch: Grocery store/Target/Walmart, car wash, exercise (even if it’s a quick walk/run around my business park), etc. This time is pure gold for me because it lessens the running around we have to do on the weekends.
I also had to take a hard look at the people I was spending my precious free time with. Becoming a parent has helped me realize that I’ve outgrown a lot of friendships and that I should devote more resources to the people who really fulfill me. Again, simplify. For me this meant spending more time with people who also have small children so we can do activities together with our kids vs. me trying to carve out time to be alone with them.
It gets easier. My daughter just turned one and we are in such a great place and have our routine down pat. She doesn’t get sick nearly as much and she really loves daycare, which makes paying the high prices so worth it. And our tuition rates dropped when she turned one which was an added bonus! I actually just started a new job that is much more demanding than my last because I feel that I can handle the bigger workload. A year ago, the thought of a more demanding job would have pushed me over the edge and I would just assume that I would be stuck at my salary/level forever because I had a baby.