Author Topic: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn  (Read 30979 times)

Anatidae V

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #200 on: August 06, 2018, 01:10:29 PM »
This is literally the hardest part right now for me. Our newborn is also 2 weeks old, and my wife had a pretty difficult labor/delivery (looking like a long road of recovery), so I'm doing everything I can to let her get the most sleep as possible. This results in me getting very little sleep, ugh
There have been studies showing that if the woman takes time off paid work after her baby is born and the man doesn't, he actually sleeps less than her - because he's being woken every time she is (even if he doesn't get up) and then tries to go to paid work after that, while the woman catches short naps during the day. Obviously because many are breastfeeding they'll need more sleep, too, and there's the recovery from pregnancy and labour, so the women do actually need more sleep. But there it is.

The obvious conclusion is that if you want to be an involved father, you need some time off paid work, too.

I think that until school age, it works best when there are 1-1.5 full-time paid job equivalents being done, eg a full-time job and the other one not doing paid work, or two 20-30hr pw jobs, etc. But immediately after childbirth it's more like 0-0.5 full-time job equivalents. Historically women had a lot of help from their own mothers, from sisters and cousins and so on - so the guy could keep working full-time with no interruption. Now with smaller families there's only the husband to do it. So with that, the guy needs some time off.

And past infancy there's no reason it can't be the man at home. It is for us.


We both took 3 months off.  I insisted we delay for a year after we got married specifically to save an amount that meant no one had to work full time.  She has a more-or-less traditional job that meant she got salary during leave, but I'm self-employed, so my portion of income just stopped.
Now she works 4 days a week, I work 1.  She pumps at work on days she works, plus we have a stockpile of frozen milk built up during the first 3 months. 

Oh, and: at the transition between leave and part-time work, I had 15 days in a row of 8-10 hour days (my US Coast Guard Reserve job), and it was most definitely the case that she got way more sleep than me!  We went to bed together, but she would stay in bed 2 1/2 hours longer, more than making up for the 15 minutes she spent awake at 4am feeding the babe
Bakariz that is one CUTE baby! :D

I definitely got and still get less sleep than my DH. My sleep schedule is entirely run by the baby, while he can go to bed and wake up according to his own internal clock. I spend 3 minutes at least awake for each feed, and up to a year old there was 3-4 of these per night. At 15 months, baby's only just starting to drop to 1-2 per night. I'm also up well before he is as the babe is an early riser, too! One short feed per night may have different results. And I only get one 20 minutes nap per day when I'm not working, though baby may sleep for up to 2 hours during his single nap.

Bakari

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #201 on: August 06, 2018, 09:25:39 PM »
up to a year old there was 3-4 of these per night.

omg, I'm sorry to hear that, that's crazy!  I mean, I know we are lucky and that we're at an extreme, but I never realized how lucky we were!
Ours has never woken more than once a night, not from day 1 on.  By 2 months (or maybe sooner, the 1st month is a blur) he was more or less sleeping through the night.  Night before last he went to bed around 8:45pm, woke up about 6am.  Some nights he wakes up around 4am, eats, goes back to sleep until 7.  I've heard they tend to sleep later longer when they are in their own room, but he's actually been in our bed all along.
I don't really think it has much, if anything, to do with anything we've done.

Quote
that is one CUTE baby!
Thanks!  :)

Anatidae V

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #202 on: August 07, 2018, 12:46:57 AM »
Yeah, the babies are all different and mostly unbothered by anything we adults do :P
I meant up for 30 minutes per feed, not 3, stupid typos. Our babies may well be at opposite ends of the spectrum to each other! Mine goes to bed around 6pm and is up sometime between 5&6AM. Regardless of if he's in our room or in his own room.

BuffaloStache

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #203 on: August 09, 2018, 02:27:49 PM »
... up to a year old there was 3-4 of these per night. At 15 months, baby's only just starting to drop to 1-2 per night.

Agreeing with Bakari, sorry to hear that! You are a Saint for being so supportive of these feedings for ~15+ months. Also makes me feel lucky, my son isn't nearly as good as baby-Bakari, but was mostly sleeping through the night by ~6-8 months.