Author Topic: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn  (Read 48690 times)

firelight

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #100 on: December 29, 2016, 10:43:05 PM »
We coslept with our first after first two months in a 75+ temp with the kiddo wearing a onesie or a onesie and a sleeping blanket. I was too tired to wakeup every time to breastfeed and sometimes slept with kiddo in hand while feeding which was more dangerous than cosleeping. So cosleeping and high temps (unless it's super high) is not a big deal.

boarder42

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #101 on: December 30, 2016, 05:45:25 AM »
we plan to use a bedside arms reach co sleeper so that should not increase the risk in any way.  my wife already doesnt like our houses extreme temps so i think she is just using this as an excuse more than anything.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #102 on: December 31, 2016, 09:53:14 AM »
We coslept with our first after first two months in a 75+ temp with the kiddo wearing a onesie or a onesie and a sleeping blanket. I was too tired to wakeup every time to breastfeed and sometimes slept with kiddo in hand while feeding which was more dangerous than cosleeping. So cosleeping and high temps (unless it's super high) is not a big deal.

I believe this study suffers from survivorship bias.

firelight

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #103 on: December 31, 2016, 10:20:41 AM »
We coslept with our first after first two months in a 75+ temp with the kiddo wearing a onesie or a onesie and a sleeping blanket. I was too tired to wakeup every time to breastfeed and sometimes slept with kiddo in hand while feeding which was more dangerous than cosleeping. So cosleeping and high temps (unless it's super high) is not a big deal.

I believe this study suffers from survivorship bias.
When more than half the world does it successfully (Africa, some parts of Europe, middle east and Asia where the weather is hotter by nature) and the human race has been doing it for ages, it's not a wrong thing to give it a try.

That said, you can't drink alcohol and lol around the bed with a baby. Or be so tired or sleep so heavily that you have no sense of where and how you move your body. Or anything else risky.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #104 on: December 31, 2016, 11:29:08 AM »
We coslept with our first after first two months in a 75+ temp with the kiddo wearing a onesie or a onesie and a sleeping blanket. I was too tired to wakeup every time to breastfeed and sometimes slept with kiddo in hand while feeding which was more dangerous than cosleeping. So cosleeping and high temps (unless it's super high) is not a big deal.

I believe this study suffers from survivorship bias.
When more than half the world does it successfully (Africa, some parts of Europe, middle east and Asia where the weather is hotter by nature) and the human race has been doing it for ages, it's not a wrong thing to give it a try.

That said, you can't drink alcohol and lol around the bed with a baby. Or be so tired or sleep so heavily that you have no sense of where and how you move your body. Or anything else risky.


Do you mean all of those non-green countries on this map?



(Infant mortality rates <1 year of age, 2013)

smella

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #105 on: December 31, 2016, 02:46:53 PM »
Oy vey. Here's some safe co-sleeping pointers http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping/

firelight

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #106 on: December 31, 2016, 03:17:50 PM »
We coslept with our first after first two months in a 75+ temp with the kiddo wearing a onesie or a onesie and a sleeping blanket. I was too tired to wakeup every time to breastfeed and sometimes slept with kiddo in hand while feeding which was more dangerous than cosleeping. So cosleeping and high temps (unless it's super high) is not a big deal.

I believe this study suffers from survivorship bias.
When more than half the world does it successfully (Africa, some parts of Europe, middle east and Asia where the weather is hotter by nature) and the human race has been doing it for ages, it's not a wrong thing to give it a try.

That said, you can't drink alcohol and lol around the bed with a baby. Or be so tired or sleep so heavily that you have no sense of where and how you move your body. Or anything else risky.


Do you mean all of those non-green countries on this map?



(Infant mortality rates <1 year of age, 2013)
There are no links to any studies. I can't comment on a map with different colors for countries. That said, saying that a practice followed ever since human race came by is completely bad is laughable.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #107 on: January 01, 2017, 12:44:13 AM »
LOL,  those numbers better not be percentage of infant mortalities under 1 year of age!  More likely rate per 1000... or even per 100,000

Metric Mouse

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #108 on: January 01, 2017, 04:32:07 AM »
There are no links to any studies. I can't comment on a map with different colors for countries. That said, saying that a practice followed ever since human race came by is completely bad is laughable.

It was a comment on your rationalization that "When more than half the world does it successfully (Africa, some parts of Europe, middle east and Asia where the weather is hotter by nature) and the human race has been doing it for ages, it's not a wrong thing to give it a try."
As many of those places mentioned have much higher infant mortality rates than the United States, I fail to see how appealing to their authority is helpful in your argument. There is such a massive number of 'practice(s) followed ever since human race came by' that are no longer recommended, safe or considered practical that I can't imagine using that as my sole reasoning for an action.  I am not arguing an action is 'wrong', only that the increase in some risks must be taken in to account when deciding to perform that action, and any recommendation of such action should be tempered with the mention of those risks.

And since you disliked the map (that I did not label as fully as I could have) here are the stats: https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2091rank.html

LOL,  those numbers better not be percentage of infant mortalities under 1 year of age!  More likely rate per 1000... or even per 100,000

Ha! That would be a pretty interesting percentage in some areas! Sorry for being unclear; the map was a visual representation of "Number of deaths of infants under one year old per 1,000 live births by country, 2013 (source: Child Mortality Estimates)."
« Last Edit: January 01, 2017, 05:19:13 AM by Metric Mouse »

PDM

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #109 on: January 01, 2017, 04:47:10 AM »
Following.

Bakari

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #110 on: January 01, 2017, 09:11:17 AM »

Delivery related Sepsis
Malaria
Respiratory Infection
Diarrhea
HIV
Tuberculosis
Nutritional Deficiency
Cardio Disease
Injury...

Cosleeping does not make the list
http://www.who.int/bulletin/volumes/84/3/181.pdf
https://www.usaid.gov/sites/default/files/documents/1860/Africa%20Key%20Facts%20and%20Figures.pdf








Metric Mouse

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #111 on: January 01, 2017, 12:51:39 PM »
Neither does crocodile attacks, but I wouldn't state that as a reason to allow my child to sleep on the riverbank.

Bakari

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #112 on: January 01, 2017, 10:01:58 PM »
Except more than half the world hasn't been leaving babies near crocodile infected rivers for all of human history.
My comment refuted the implications of the posting of the graphic: that maybe the reason infant mortality is so high in places where cosleeping is the norm is because of cosleeping.  It isn't.  So the graphic, and the stats behind it, are completely irrelevant to the question at hand.  (As is the threat of crocodiles.)
So, while the point that not everything that is commonly done is ideal is valid in general, in this case, since we have data that says cosleeping is not in fact any of the reason for the disparity in infant mortality rates, we can then reasonably go back and validate the comment "When more than half the world does it successfully (Africa, some parts of Europe, middle east and Asia where the weather is hotter by nature) and the human race has been doing it for ages, it's not a wrong thing to give it a try."
This doesn't mean you have to, if you don't want, but as I pointed out already, the actual risk is extremely small. 
Assuming no other risk factors, you would do more to protect the life and safety of your child by never letting them in a motor vehicle than by never letting them in your bed. 

« Last Edit: January 01, 2017, 10:03:39 PM by Bakari »

appleblossom

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #113 on: January 01, 2017, 10:54:58 PM »
Co-sleeping is not suggested as part of our national guidelines, but you do need to be pragmatic. NZ has one of the highest rates of sudden unexplained infant death in the western world, and there are regularly babies who die from parental suffocation while sleeping.
Parents will do what works for them in the moment, and cosleeping might be what works with that baby to just get some sleep, or it might be how they have always done it.
Culturally lots of the Pacific Island communities in NZ cosleep, so there has been a recent push in some areas to provide cosleeping pods (called pepi pods) to high risk families as it provides a safe space within the bed for baby.
It has resulted in a huge reduction in deaths as the baby is protected. Recently our government has changed some policies which will hopefully result in more use and a further reduction in deaths.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/82801474/Government-U-turn-on-funding-pepi-pods-could-save-dozens-of-babies-lives

Something like this is worth considering if co sleeping might be your choice.

pancakes

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #114 on: January 02, 2017, 03:13:16 AM »
Just scored a set of 78 prefolds + 23 covers and wet bag for $50 off gumtree. A mix of unused and second hand and sizes from new born to toddler. The brand appears to have very positive reviews.

I figure if we find prefolds too time consuming or difficult we can get some pocket covers and switch to using the prefolds as inserts.

I think that is me committing to cloth nappies.

chaskavitch

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #115 on: January 03, 2017, 01:51:50 PM »
Most of our baby equipment/clothing and cloth diapers were bought on clearance, off Craigslist, at Once Upon a Child/ARC/Goodwill, or were given to us (both new and secondhand), and it has all been perfectly serviceable.  New isn't better unless it is a car seat or you absolutely can't find what you need otherwise.  The things we bought new, I mostly wish we'd been able to find secondhand (stroller, carrier, dresser, some clothes).

I have liked cloth diapering, we have mostly pocket or all in ones because that's what our daycare specified they'd accept.  Prefolds and covers are WAY cheaper, though, and you don't have quite as much wash to do overall.  You can find cloth pretty dang cheap on craigslist or on buy/sell/trade groups on Facebook, actually.  Just ask for pictures and know what they're worth new, so you have a decent idea what you should pay.

If you do plan on baby-wearing, the Lilebaby is excellent.  As a caveat, it is the only soft structured carrier I've tried with our baby, but it has great back support, you don't need an infant insert (so you can use it as soon as you're comfortable carrying them, not at X months/lbs), and you can carry them facing you, facing out, or on your back.  We use ours all the time, especially when he's fussy and just wants to be carried perpetually.  We were also given a Baby K'tan, because the Moby wraps were super intimidating, and for a cloth carrier I really liked it.  It gets uncomfortable once the baby gets heavier than ~ 15 lbs, though, because all of the weight is on your upper back.

We were given about a million onsies, and he's not even worn some of them, which is sad.  I've decided that most companies have vanity sizing for babies - "Oh my gosh, little baby chaskavitch is just growing so fast!  He's already in 9 month clothing at 6 months!  So genetics!  Much chub! Wow!" - which, practically, means that the 3 and 6 month clothes may not last NEARLY as long as you're expecting them to.  Secondhand stuff is awesome.  We have far too many pajamas, swaddles, blankets, tiny hats, unused mittens, and baby socks that keep falling off.  I'd like to second only having zippers for long footed pajamas - snaps take forever to do up, especially if baby is unhappy.

A rock and play is great for having around the house, because it is very light and easy to collapse, and if your baby doesn't need a ton of space to flail and roll around, it works well.  Once they can flip over, though, you aren't supposed to use it anymore - buy one secondhand, and then pass it on :)  I've also been told they are amazingly helpful if your baby has reflux, because they're at a slight angle while they sleep.  Not necessary, but incredibly convenient.

We bought a BOB stroller new, because the secondhand one we got didn't fit our carseat.  I did use it quite a bit while I was on maternity leave for going on walks around the neighborhood, but we stopped using the carseat at ~ 4 months, so that was about $200 for 4 months of use, which makes me cringe.  The BOB strollers themselves are pretty sweet, but if you don't NEED a new stroller, don't bother.

That's a big compilation of random information, sorry :)  Like everyone else said, you never know what your baby will like/not like.  If someone offers a thing for free, take it, and if you don't need it, pass it on.

« Last Edit: January 09, 2017, 11:30:01 AM by chaskavitch »

Metric Mouse

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #116 on: January 04, 2017, 07:32:43 AM »
Except more than half the world hasn't been leaving babies near crocodile infected rivers for all of human history.
My comment refuted the implications of the posting of the graphic: that maybe the reason infant mortality is so high in places where cosleeping is the norm is because of cosleeping.  It isn't.  So the graphic, and the stats behind it, are completely irrelevant to the question at hand.  (As is the threat of crocodiles.)
So, while the point that not everything that is commonly done is ideal is valid in general, in this case, since we have data that says cosleeping is not in fact any of the reason for the disparity in infant mortality rates, we can then reasonably go back and validate the comment "When more than half the world does it successfully (Africa, some parts of Europe, middle east and Asia where the weather is hotter by nature) and the human race has been doing it for ages, it's not a wrong thing to give it a try."
This doesn't mean you have to, if you don't want, but as I pointed out already, the actual risk is extremely small. 
Assuming no other risk factors, you would do more to protect the life and safety of your child by never letting them in a motor vehicle than by never letting them in your bed.

I stand by my statement that arguing something is good or safe because humans have been doing it for long periods of time is illogical. There are many benefits of co-sleeping; the fact that humans in Africa do it is not one of them.  The risks are extremely small; this is not because humans in the Middle East practice it. 

With all the studies out there showing the benefits and low risks of co-sleeping, I see no reason to list "other people do it." as the only supporting evidence.

Bakari

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #117 on: January 04, 2017, 09:00:27 AM »
I stand by my statement that arguing something is good or safe because humans have been doing it for long periods of time is illogical. There are many benefits of co-sleeping; the fact that humans in Africa do it is not one of them.  The risks are extremely small; this is not because humans in the Middle East practice it. 

With all the studies out there showing the benefits and low risks of co-sleeping, I see no reason to list "other people do it." as the only supporting evidence.


Well, ok, I'll grant that the argument is not inherently valid.  I see now that was your primary point.  I assumed from the response the primary point was that it is extremely dangerous and no one should ever do it.  Hence my pointing out that the graphic was an equally flawed logical argument :-P

BuffaloStache

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #118 on: January 07, 2017, 11:18:18 PM »
Bringing this derailed discussion back on track:



Does anyone else have more tips on saving money with a newborn?

PDM

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #119 on: January 07, 2017, 11:30:42 PM »
Bringing this derailed discussion back on track:



Does anyone else have more tips on saving money with a newborn?

Thank you!

This one is for any other Aussies:
Pumpkin Patch closing down sale. Some very cute stuff in stores and 50-70% off. Which actually brings the prices down to something palatable.

http://www.pumpkinpatch.com.au/storelocator/list

Apologies if this has been posted.





Lagom

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #120 on: January 07, 2017, 11:50:51 PM »
Mildly surprised the breast is best vs. formula debate didn't further derail the thread, but kudos for that. First, in the spirit of the OP, I'll note that for formula feeding, the generics (e.g. Target brand) are just as good as the name brands (e.g. Enfamil) because of strict federal regulations. Generally, the generics are literally the same product (as in from the same manufacturer). So go ahead and spend 30-40% less without any worry that you are harming your baby.

Because I can't help myself, I'll also add what I said in another thread on the topic in that there is pretty much no scientific evidence whatsoever that breastfeeding has any measurable advantage over formula feeding (even exclusively, from day one) in a healthy full-term baby, beyond a slight decrease in minor illnesses, like colds. Of course BF only babies need iron supplementation so neither approach is ideal if used 100%, especially since a pretty high percentage of mothers don't produce an ideal amount of milk anyway, from a caloric standpoint. I have read quite extensively on the topic (sadly, apparently more than most BF consultants), and the only babies who have a proven need for breastmilk are premature/low body weight newborns. Otherwise, feel free to bottle feed as much as you like. Additionally, a chronically malnourished/underweight baby is at far more risk of health issues than one who is exclusively formula fed, so don't succumb to pressure to breastfeed if your baby is clearly not gaining much weight within the first week.

ETA breastfeeding is clearly the cheapest choice, but there are many reasons it might not be possible or preferable to do so all of the time, or even at all, so I always like to extend some solidarity to mothers who are struggling due to the overwhelming pressure they get to BF as much as possible.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2017, 10:27:40 PM by Lagom »

Anatidae V

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #121 on: January 07, 2017, 11:54:24 PM »
Bringing this derailed discussion back on track:



Does anyone else have more tips on saving money with a newborn?

Thank you!

This one is for any other Aussies:
Pumpkin Patch closing down sale. Some very cute stuff in stores and 50-70% off. Which actually brings the prices down to something palatable.

http://www.pumpkinpatch.com.au/storelocator/list

Apologies if this has been posted.
I bought some stuff from there last week! Very adorable, and approaching reasonable prices. I got some baby socks/ booties, a couple of outfits and 3 muslin swaddles to get us started.

Plugging Along

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #122 on: January 08, 2017, 10:14:26 AM »
My first post here but wanted to jump in.   My kids are school age now, but the things I remember to be such big things are still big now.  I think I have a good perspective as I am not a total mustachian but when my second was born, my spouse was laid off and we went from two incomes that could buy anything we wanted to becoming a mustachian role model.

Here are my new born tips.   Some is saving money some is general advice.

Most important, don't take ANYONE advice as gospel.  Everyone has an opinion and it will be unique to their own situation and experience.   If you try to follow it exactly without understanding the implications, you will go nuts.  When taking advice, make sure you u derstand how you situation is unique.    everyone wants to give advice for parenting.

Some money saving tips are|
Breastfeed where you can.   This is the hot topic amount new parents, and it gets so heated.   Now, my kids are 8 and 11 no one talks about it any more, I can not tell the difference between a breastfed child or not.   I am a big proponent of breastfeeding and did it until they were almost 18 months, but it drove me nuts when strangers would come up to me and make comments on my bottle feeding.   Our pediactrian and the top breastfeeding dr in city had us supplement due to failure to thrive and it was still breast milk with added formula.  It still makes me annoyed to think about some stranger walking up to me in a store and trying to convince me that a bottle was wrong.   The more you breastfeed the cheaper it is, but don't get so stressed over it.

Cosleeping the next.   Never did it, never will, but that's our parenting style.  You AND your spouse decide what you want to do to get through the sleepless nights.  Whatever you choose will be based on your parenting style.  Just remember though, if you choose to cosleep, it is. Harder habit to break them of.  If you don't mind that, then fine, but don't get pressured to do it if it isn't something you believe in, and visa versa


To save money, the other tips I didn't exact read are:
Homemade disposable wipes.   In between using cloth and store bought.   I had a recipe with boiled water, paper towels, baby oil, soap, and essential oil(optional).   They were still disposable and I could change out the essential oil if there was something going on.   Y childcare provide thought our wipes worked better than store bought.

Diapers - we used diaspoable.  But watch it the price per diaper of coarse.   We used the smaller ones as long as we could  (except newborn which is more  expensive  than other sizes) because a the smaller sizes you get more per package.   We use smaller on the day, and larger (is they fit) at night or longer trips because they hold more

Early toilet training (elimination communication) this was a huge savings.  We started putting our kids on the actual toilet at at 6 and 4 months (you have to hold them up) by 14 months they were pretty much dry in the day, actually closer to 12 months but I wanted to be sure.   Tons of money saved on only one or two diaper a day, and a night diaper. 

Baby food - we made our own.   Cheaper and earthier.   You can use ice cube trays to freeze them to save time. 

Other things like baby  arrives,  strollers, is a preference and lifestyle choice. 

My other advice of saving money is thought that is a big thing here, sometimes convience is worth it.  There were some items that I didn't want to spend on, like a bottle sterializer.  I was boiling water, but also sleep derived.   When I accidently fell asleep with the water boiling and melted four bottles, and almost set my house on fire. I decide the forty dollars was worth it.   It would give me up to an hour of sleep which was worth more than anything in the world at that time.  These choices will be individual but just remember no one here knows your exact situation.


Bakari

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #123 on: January 08, 2017, 08:42:28 PM »
This is not at all about newborns, but nearly everyone who has a newborn will eventually have a young child followed by a young adult, and it can't hurt to start thinking big picture early.
I think this may be some of the best parenting advice I've ever seen, and I hope to model my own family life after it.


https://qz.com/165716/how-i-made-sure-all-12-of-my-kids-could-pay-for-college-themselves/


Its really about much more than paying for college.  Its basically a very different version of the basic tenants of Mustachianism, applied to raising kids.

BuffaloStache

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #124 on: January 08, 2017, 10:45:54 PM »
My other advice of saving money is thought that is a big thing here, sometimes convience is worth it.  There were some items that I didn't want to spend on, like a bottle sterializer.  I was boiling water, but also sleep derived.   When I accidently fell asleep with the water boiling and melted four bottles, and almost set my house on fire. I decide the forty dollars was worth it.   It would give me up to an hour of sleep which was worth more than anything in the world at that time.  These choices will be individual but just remember no one here knows your exact situation.

Thanks for this- I've heard some people talking about sticking to your guns no matter what, but in your case it was definitely better to spend some money than having your house burn down. I'll have to keep this in mind.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #125 on: January 09, 2017, 12:16:04 AM »
My other advice of saving money is thought that is a big thing here, sometimes convience is worth it.  There were some items that I didn't want to spend on, like a bottle sterializer.  I was boiling water, but also sleep derived.   When I accidently fell asleep with the water boiling and melted four bottles, and almost set my house on fire. I decide the forty dollars was worth it.   It would give me up to an hour of sleep which was worth more than anything in the world at that time.  These choices will be individual but just remember no one here knows your exact situation.

Thanks for this- I've heard some people talking about sticking to your guns no matter what, but in your case it was definitely better to spend some money than having your house burn down. I'll have to keep this in mind.

I think sticking to your guns no matter is really inflexible, and not realistic in all situations.   Nothing in life is completely planned out, so sticking to your guns on something that one doesn't have any experience seems very limiting and doesn't allow for growth.   Anyone who has kids or planning to have kids, should be prepared to not follow you plan exactly.   

I think sticking to ones guns really is knowing about what your priorities and goals are and what is really important to you.   This applies to finances, life, and parenting.    Since I have had kids, I learned, made mistakes, and changed my views on many things.  However, my beliefs are still rooted to what I believe is important. 

boarder42

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #126 on: January 09, 2017, 07:42:08 AM »
how well does elimination communication work when you have your children in daycare?

brycedoula

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #127 on: January 09, 2017, 03:01:56 PM »
how well does elimination communication work when you have your children in daycare?

I'll be finding out soon enough, as I do very part-time EC with my daughter, who has just started full-time daycare!

The daycare staff doesn't seem super enthusiastic about it working, but I provided a toddler toilet seat insert anyway ($7.99CDN from IKEA). They will likely be too busy to catch her particular signs that she has to go, but I feel like if they even managed to get her on the toilet for one poop they may be more inclined to try harder. I suspect if she was in a small, home-based daycare (which she isn't) the provider *may* be more willing, especially as it means a very minimal # of poopy bums to clean ;)

And from what I've read, kids are smart & figure out pretty quickly that "okay at daycare I go in my diaper, but at home I go on the toilet". Fingers crossed!

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #128 on: January 09, 2017, 03:57:38 PM »
how well does elimination communication work when you have your children in daycare?

It will definately be harder.   We were able to do it because someone was at home with the babies full time.   I believe mat leave in the US is much shorter. 

I found just being home with my kids, I was able to recognize the signs.   My first would as soon as she sat on the high chair, would go into a daze, and go, and then refuse to eat until we changed her. 
So we would out her into the chair, wait before giving any food, and then run to the toilet.   We would have to hold her on the toilet sometimes for up to five minutes or more.   

This expectation for a daycare may not be realistic.  If you are able to to identify the signs, or the pattern if ther is one, so they don't have to figure it out, then maybe it will work better.     It also has to do with time on the toilet, some has to be sitting there holding the child.   

I think it will really depend on the provider, the baby, and what you do at home.   I say just keep on trying.   The key is consistency, we always put them on, stayed with them, and made some specific  noises to signal what they were supposed to do.   Can't hurt to them just don't be too set on it. 

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #129 on: January 09, 2017, 10:20:26 PM »
This thread is great! Due in March, and trying to find a way to minimize the cost for baby as much as possible.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #130 on: January 09, 2017, 10:48:16 PM »
A couple of weeks ago on this thread I posted about getting stuff lent/given to use.
We had been given a bassinet which I was uncomfortable using because it is huge and I couldnt find a big enough mattress.
I just had a friend ask if there is anything that we still need, and I mentioned the bassinet, and they have one which she has offered.
So glad I said something. This way I can avoid spending $150+ on a new one and don't have to feel rude returning the original one as l can say thanks but we were offered something more appropriate (we have a tiny bedroom so I didn't think it would fit anyway).

So definitely speak up. Newborns are in things for such a short length of time that its unlikely things will wear out after one child, and there is so much stuff floating around that people will lend.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #131 on: January 10, 2017, 10:15:46 AM »
what about household temperatures.  My wife and i are in a debate right now i see 65-74 which to me means i'm keeping my house at 65 in the winter and 74 in the summer with a newborn but there are sites that say 68-72 which seems absurd to me.  how did babies survive in prehistoric times. 

any thoughts.  i dont want to be frugal to the point of endangering our child but cmon ... basically keeping a house at 70 degrees year round seems dumb.

Good lord, 65 in the winter... Do you wear sweater and long pants in the house all day?

I keep the house at 72 and people think it is insanely hot.

Maybe it is me.  I think my house has poor insulation as well.  Need to get that looked at.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2017, 10:25:52 AM by Easye418 »

cats

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #132 on: January 10, 2017, 10:32:42 AM »
how well does elimination communication work when you have your children in daycare?

From my experience, it depends.  We initially had our kid in a care situation where he couldn't be dropped off earlier than 8:30.  This allowed plenty of time at home in the AM for his system to get moving and fof us (okay, my husband...) to catch his poops. He'd sometimes poop at home in the evening also (on the potty again), but very rarely pooped when he was in care.  So if your kid goes on a schedule and your work/care schedule accommodates that...it may work great.

However...we then switched to a daycare where we could drop off earlier, which we needed to do to accommodate work schedules.  Kiddo continues to poop sometime in the 7-8AM timeframe, but he's in care when it happens, so it happens in the diaper.  Daycare kind of rolled their eyes when I mentioned EC.  We still try to do EC on the mornings/evenings/weekends. He will pee pretty much anytime we put him on and we do still manage to catch some poops. He *is* very communicative about when his diaper is bothering him, so I'm hopeful that will help us when it comes time to do full-blown potty training.  He's also starting to talk a bit now so I may bring it up again with daycare in a few months if he is giving clearer or more verbal indications of needing to go when we're at home.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #133 on: January 10, 2017, 07:46:17 PM »
Good lord, 65 in the winter... Do you wear sweater and long pants in the house all day?

I keep the house at 72 and people think it is insanely hot.

Maybe it is me.  I think my house has poor insulation as well.  Need to get that looked at.


This is the one big thing that Early Retirement Extreme made me realize that I was taking energy (money) waste for granted.
Of course if it is cold you should wear warm clothes!!  Most especially when you are the one paying the heat bill.  But also for the sake of national energy security and/or the environment (depending on what motivates you politically :-P)
Why, if one's goal is to be warm, would you heat the entire 20,000 cubic square feet of air space and all of your furniture and appliances, when a sweater and long pants will accomplish exactly the same goal? 


On a side note, insulation is definitely the most cost effective home upgrade, pays itself back much quicker than solar or a kitchen remodel.

And now, back to the baby stuff...

chaskavitch

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #134 on: January 11, 2017, 06:20:19 AM »
Good lord, 65 in the winter... Do you wear sweater and long pants in the house all day?

I keep the house at 72 and people think it is insanely hot.

Maybe it is me.  I think my house has poor insulation as well.  Need to get that looked at.


This is the one big thing that Early Retirement Extreme made me realize that I was taking energy (money) waste for granted.
Of course if it is cold you should wear warm clothes!!  Most especially when you are the one paying the heat bill.  But also for the sake of national energy security and/or the environment (depending on what motivates you politically :-P)
Why, if one's goal is to be warm, would you heat the entire 20,000 cubic square feet of air space and all of your furniture and appliances, when a sweater and long pants will accomplish exactly the same goal? 


On a side note, insulation is definitely the most cost effective home upgrade, pays itself back much quicker than solar or a kitchen remodel.

And now, back to the baby stuff...

This is related to baby stuff, kind of :) 

We keep our house at 59 at night in the winter, and baby chaskavitch wasn't sleeping super well, even with fleecy pajamas and a sleep sack and a hat, so we got a programmable space heater for our bedroom.  Problem solved!  Much easier to heat one room than the whole house. 

On the topic of wearing more clothing - DH has been between jobs for the last two weeks, so he's been at home.  Our thermostat is set to 60 or 61 during the day. I expected him to turn up the heat a little, but no, he just started wearing long johns under his pants :)

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #135 on: January 12, 2017, 11:24:08 AM »
Because I can't help myself, I'll also add what I said in another thread on the topic in that there is pretty much no scientific evidence whatsoever that breastfeeding has any measurable advantage over formula feeding (even exclusively, from day one) in a healthy full-term baby, beyond a slight decrease in minor illnesses, like colds. Of course BF only babies need iron supplementation so neither approach is ideal if used 100%, especially since a pretty high percentage of mothers don't produce an ideal amount of milk anyway, from a caloric standpoint. I have read quite extensively on the topic (sadly, apparently more than most BF consultants), and the only babies who have a proven need for breastmilk are premature/low body weight newborns. Otherwise, feel free to bottle feed as much as you like. Additionally, a chronically malnourished/underweight baby is at far more risk of health issues than one who is exclusively formula fed, so don't succumb to pressure to breastfeed if your baby is clearly not gaining much weight within the first week.

Just to chime in with my own experience: my son had low iron when tested at 9 months, but retested last week at 18 months after no iron supplementation other than lots of green veggies (with the pediatrician's blessing) and was fine. I'm rather uncomfortable with multivitamins, expressed this to the doc, and she didn't feel his iron level was low enough to require an Rx for an iron-only supplement. YMMV. 

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #136 on: January 13, 2017, 09:58:58 AM »
Don't buy very much until after the baby arrives, just the bare necessities.  Some newborn diapers, but only one pack, a car seat, a place for the baby to sleep, nursing or formula supplies, thats it. You don't need a fancy rocker or changing table or bouncy seat, not right away.  Some kids love swings, some hate them so take the kid to a friends house to try it out before buying, or be prepared to return stuff.  Get the simplest easiest clothes imaginable, nothing fussy, and just a few 0-3 month things.  I really liked the sleeping gowns with elastic at the bottoms for easy midnight diaper changes.  My kids were on the small size (6 and 7.5 lbs at birth) and they still were only in the 0-3 months size for about 6 weeks tops. 

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #137 on: January 13, 2017, 01:30:16 PM »
Because I can't help myself, I'll also add what I said in another thread on the topic in that there is pretty much no scientific evidence whatsoever that breastfeeding has any measurable advantage over formula feeding (even exclusively, from day one) in a healthy full-term baby, beyond a slight decrease in minor illnesses, like colds. Of course BF only babies need iron supplementation so neither approach is ideal if used 100%, especially since a pretty high percentage of mothers don't produce an ideal amount of milk anyway, from a caloric standpoint. I have read quite extensively on the topic (sadly, apparently more than most BF consultants), and the only babies who have a proven need for breastmilk are premature/low body weight newborns. Otherwise, feel free to bottle feed as much as you like. Additionally, a chronically malnourished/underweight baby is at far more risk of health issues than one who is exclusively formula fed, so don't succumb to pressure to breastfeed if your baby is clearly not gaining much weight within the first week.

Just to chime in with my own experience: my son had low iron when tested at 9 months, but retested last week at 18 months after no iron supplementation other than lots of green veggies (with the pediatrician's blessing) and was fine. I'm rather uncomfortable with multivitamins, expressed this to the doc, and she didn't feel his iron level was low enough to require an Rx for an iron-only supplement. YMMV.
Neither of my breastfed kids had iron supplementation?

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #138 on: January 13, 2017, 01:50:02 PM »
Because I can't help myself, I'll also add what I said in another thread on the topic in that there is pretty much no scientific evidence whatsoever that breastfeeding has any measurable advantage over formula feeding (even exclusively, from day one) in a healthy full-term baby, beyond a slight decrease in minor illnesses, like colds. Of course BF only babies need iron supplementation so neither approach is ideal if used 100%, especially since a pretty high percentage of mothers don't produce an ideal amount of milk anyway, from a caloric standpoint. I have read quite extensively on the topic (sadly, apparently more than most BF consultants), and the only babies who have a proven need for breastmilk are premature/low body weight newborns. Otherwise, feel free to bottle feed as much as you like. Additionally, a chronically malnourished/underweight baby is at far more risk of health issues than one who is exclusively formula fed, so don't succumb to pressure to breastfeed if your baby is clearly not gaining much weight within the first week.

Just to chime in with my own experience: my son had low iron when tested at 9 months, but retested last week at 18 months after no iron supplementation other than lots of green veggies (with the pediatrician's blessing) and was fine. I'm rather uncomfortable with multivitamins, expressed this to the doc, and she didn't feel his iron level was low enough to require an Rx for an iron-only supplement. YMMV.
Neither of my breastfed kids had iron supplementation?

As I understand it, it's now the standard suggestion (or at least was specifically mentioned by the pediatrician). Whatever, that's incidental. I'm just passionate about taking a "fed is best" approach and I think too many mothers fret and feel awful that they use formula when there is no scientific evidence that they need to worry (excepting premature/low body weight babies). Of course, BF is still the cheapest option by far, which is why I also added the bit about generic brand formula.

chaskavitch

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #139 on: January 13, 2017, 08:44:34 PM »
This is a tip that may or may not save money, but will possibly save a lot of time and pain if you end up breastfeeding.  I was reminded by a post on the "rationally discussing the 'stay at home parent' option" thread in this subforum, and realized it should go here too.

Buy a HUGE bottle of soy lecithin pills.  It is super cheap, like $8 for a bottle of hundreds of pills.

At the very first sign of a plugged duct, or if you don't feed your baby for longer than normal and get engorged, take like 4 pills a day.

It has been an absolute lifesaver for me with plugged ducts and mastitis.  I got mastitis, and tried ALL THE THINGS.  Hot compresses, feeding the baby on only that side, massage, hot showers, dangling your breast in a bowl of hot salt water before feedings, 10 day course of antibiotics, probiotics at the same time - and I'm pretty sure lecithin is the thing that helped the most.  It was to the point where my midwife was like "if this doesn't clear up by tomorrow, you need IV antibiotics at the hospital, and you might have to get some tissue removed," so I'm super lucky.  The second time I got an infection, I took 4-5 pills a day for two days, and it felt better.  No more fever, no more plugged duct.  It is amazing.  No idea what the science behind it is, but definitely definitely something preventative to have on hand.  It is recommended that you keep taking it after the duct clears up for almost a month, tapering off, so the huge bottle is very necessary.

Lecithin might save you a trip to the hospital.  That's worth a lot more than the $10 to have the pills on hand.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #140 on: January 13, 2017, 09:50:38 PM »
Because I can't help myself, I'll also add what I said in another thread on the topic in that there is pretty much no scientific evidence whatsoever that breastfeeding has any measurable advantage over formula feeding (even exclusively, from day one) in a healthy full-term baby, beyond a slight decrease in minor illnesses, like colds. Of course BF only babies need iron supplementation so neither approach is ideal if used 100%, especially since a pretty high percentage of mothers don't produce an ideal amount of milk anyway, from a caloric standpoint. I have read quite extensively on the topic (sadly, apparently more than most BF consultants), and the only babies who have a proven need for breastmilk are premature/low body weight newborns. Otherwise, feel free to bottle feed as much as you like. Additionally, a chronically malnourished/underweight baby is at far more risk of health issues than one who is exclusively formula fed, so don't succumb to pressure to breastfeed if your baby is clearly not gaining much weight within the first week.

Just to chime in with my own experience: my son had low iron when tested at 9 months, but retested last week at 18 months after no iron supplementation other than lots of green veggies (with the pediatrician's blessing) and was fine. I'm rather uncomfortable with multivitamins, expressed this to the doc, and she didn't feel his iron level was low enough to require an Rx for an iron-only supplement. YMMV.
Neither of my breastfed kids had iron supplementation?

As I understand it, it's now the standard suggestion (or at least was specifically mentioned by the pediatrician). Whatever, that's incidental. I'm just passionate about taking a "fed is best" approach and I think too many mothers fret and feel awful that they use formula when there is no scientific evidence that they need to worry (excepting premature/low body weight babies). Of course, BF is still the cheapest option by far, which is why I also added the bit about generic brand formula.

I actually get my formula at no cost. My state funds a 'healthy baby' program that hosts weekly clinics where Drs., Nurses and occupational therapists are available to weigh, measure and evaluate your kiddo, answer any questions and give out free formula! So though there is the expense of bottles, formula feeding does not have to be super expensive. And for me and my partner, at least, the freedom and time gained more than offsets the small increase in cost. Obviously other people will disagree.

Kyle Schuant

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #141 on: January 16, 2017, 12:22:51 AM »
That said, you can't drink alcohol and lol around the bed with a baby. Or be so tired or sleep so heavily that you have no sense of where and how you move your body. Or anything else risky.
Okay, so let me get this straight, your advice is,

1. don't drink a lot with a newborn
2. don't be very tired with a newborn

I think the first is reasonable, but the second makes me wonder if have ever even met a baby...

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #142 on: January 16, 2017, 01:48:44 AM »
I am generally pro-breastfeeding but not because it is cheap. The reason I don't think it is cheap is because it prevents me from going back to work which is actually very expensive. Pumping with the frequency that is initally required is not possible in my workplace. I did manage to pump and work from age six months on so that was a good compromise.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #143 on: January 16, 2017, 12:09:44 PM »
This is a tip that may or may not save money, but will possibly save a lot of time and pain if you end up breastfeeding.  I was reminded by a post on the "rationally discussing the 'stay at home parent' option" thread in this subforum, and realized it should go here too.

Buy a HUGE bottle of soy lecithin pills.  It is super cheap, like $8 for a bottle of hundreds of pills.

At the very first sign of a plugged duct, or if you don't feed your baby for longer than normal and get engorged, take like 4 pills a day.

It has been an absolute lifesaver for me with plugged ducts and mastitis.  I got mastitis, and tried ALL THE THINGS.  Hot compresses, feeding the baby on only that side, massage, hot showers, dangling your breast in a bowl of hot salt water before feedings, 10 day course of antibiotics, probiotics at the same time - and I'm pretty sure lecithin is the thing that helped the most.  It was to the point where my midwife was like "if this doesn't clear up by tomorrow, you need IV antibiotics at the hospital, and you might have to get some tissue removed," so I'm super lucky.  The second time I got an infection, I took 4-5 pills a day for two days, and it felt better.  No more fever, no more plugged duct.  It is amazing.  No idea what the science behind it is, but definitely definitely something preventative to have on hand.  It is recommended that you keep taking it after the duct clears up for almost a month, tapering off, so the huge bottle is very necessary.

Lecithin might save you a trip to the hospital.  That's worth a lot more than the $10 to have the pills on hand.

I agree! Sunflower lecithin capsules have saved me a whole lot of pain.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #144 on: February 15, 2017, 10:48:35 PM »
Mildly surprised the breast is best vs. formula debate didn't further derail the thread, but kudos for that. First, in the spirit of the OP, I'll note that for formula feeding, the generics (e.g. Target brand) are just as good as the name brands (e.g. Enfamil) because of strict federal regulations. Generally, the generics are literally the same product (as in from the same manufacturer). So go ahead and spend 30-40% less without any worry that you are harming your baby.

Both my mother and my MIL bought my wife some pregnancy clothes from the Outlet-mall not too far from our house, and signed us up for these crazy "free" gifts that came with the clothing purchases (mostly just ads to entice you to buy more stuff). One thing that was nice, however, was that we received two free boxes that each had 3 different types of Enfamil formula in them. We plan on Breastfeeding (more for the cost than anything) at first, but it's good to know we at least have some formula on hand should we ever need it.

I actually get my formula at no cost. My state funds a 'healthy baby' program that hosts weekly clinics where Drs., Nurses and occupational therapists are available to weigh, measure and evaluate your kiddo, answer any questions and give out free formula! So though there is the expense of bottles, formula feeding does not have to be super expensive. And for me and my partner, at least, the freedom and time gained more than offsets the small increase in cost. Obviously other people will disagree.

This is awesome! They have a similar thing at the hospital were we plan to have the baby, but there was no mention of free formula. Maybe we'll go one day just to check it out.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #145 on: February 16, 2017, 07:58:16 PM »
I'll chime in with my little bit of advice. We have a 20 month old daughter and plan on getting pregnant again this year. For our first, we tried to be "frugal and minimal" according to normal standards, and I would say that we accomplished being minimal, but not so much frugal. We still didn't spend nearly what some people spend though. Some of what we bought was AWESOME and worth every penny, some was not.

The best quote I ever heard was "babies are not expensive; the lifestyle people want with babies is." Think about the level of lifestyle you are comfortable with for your family and spend accordingly

NEEDS

Diapers. Even if you EC, you won't be able to do it full time. I started another thread about diapering and cloth vs disposables, so look at that if you have questions. Either way can be done economically, just depends on how much work you want to do.
Food. Lots has been said already on breast vs bottle. We breastfed exclusively for 6 months and verrrry slowly introduced solids after that. Now we are verrrry slowly weaning at 20 months. Breastfeeding has been wonderful for us overall, much easier and much cheaper than formula, but it IS a skill that takes time for you and your baby to learn. Keep a couple bottles and all the free formula samples you get on hand just in case.

Clothing. Go simple. Used is great if you can find good prices. For various reasons, we never really got hand me downs. We had the first girl in my husband's family, so maybe that's why. My mother bought us ~70% of the clothing we used for our girl's first year. I bought a bunch of other stuff we absolutely did not need. We're holding onto all that clothing for now in case the next is a girl. I will say that used can be awesome if the price is right. Look for consignment sales and big bags of clothing for sale on CL or at garage sales. Goodwill is often just as expensive as Carter's or Old Navy clearance rack, son new can be very affordable too, as long as you don't go nuts. Cotton sleepers for a summer baby, fleece sleepers for a winter baby. Some onesies and soft pants are essential. Get enough clothing to last for a few days. Also get a few large Muslin swaddling blankets and several burp cloths. Flannel blankets are also nice for colder temps.

Love and enrichment. As has been said, YOU are the best toy. When we do buy toys (not very often), they are quality wood, metal, or rubber. I recommend Hape and Haba brands, both are on Amazon. More than that, children need love and support and attention. You cannot spoil a baby. It simply is impossible. Toddlers, yes. Babies, no.

Car Seat. I do recommend an infant bucket seat. Convertible car seats are made for bigger children and usually do not fit small infants well, leaving them at risk in case of an accident. The notable exception to this is the Combi Coccoro. It is a much smaller seat that will fit a newborn, but the trade off is that it will be outgrown much sooner than other convertibles, often before the age of 2 (all children MUST rear face until age 2, but preferably until age 4). So an infant bucket seat provides a better fit for small babies and does offer great convenience and safety. It's much easier to get that squirmy newborn buckled in inside your house rather than outside in the pouring rain or the blowing wind. www.csftl.org is the best website for car seat safety, recommendations, and troubleshooting. There are many, many affordable options for infant, convertible, and booster seats. Please take the time to make sure that your babies and children are riding safely.

Wrap/Carrier/Sling. This is a need if you ever hope to do anything with two hands ever again. There are so many styles and so many different kinds of contraptions made to hold an infant or toddler to your body. The soft-structured carrier (e.g. Ergobaby) is the most popular, but far from the only choice. Look up Babywearing International and go to a meeting near you. The leaders are certified and will help you find the right carrier for your family. They usually have a large selection of carriers at meetings to try on. TRY BEFORE YOU BUY.

A place to sleep. Skip the crib. Use a pack n play, then move them to a twin mattress on the floor when they grow out of that. We bedshared for 18 months and it was fabulous. By 3 weeks, I was sleeping 9+ hours at night, despite almost constant nursing. Dr. James McKenna is the best resource for bedsharing safety. Around 18 months we moved our girl to her own room with her own bed and night weaned her. It was a relatively easy adjustment for everyone.

Financial Security. This is a FI forum, so it should go without saying that despite our best efforts, kids get sick. They get hurt. Chronic conditions arise. Job losses happen. Take a look at your health insurance and figure out what a two night hospital stay would cost you. For most people with a $1,000 individual deductible and 20% coinsurance, this could very easily run northwards of $5,000. What about copays for office visits and preventive care? The flu followed by an ear infection can mean multiple office visits and prescriptions. Now is a good time to put an extra $5,000-$10,000 in your emergency fund, just to be on the safe side. Are you planning on contributing to a college fund? Look at 529s and UGMAs. Figure out how much you can contribute monthly or annually and start making adjustments to your monthly budget now.

NICE TO HAVE

Stroller. This depends on your lifestyle. We have a jogging stroller which I use several times each week to go for runs or we use when we know we'll be facing "mommy terrain". We have a smaller, lighter stroller for travel, tight spaces, and public transit. For really tight spaces, we use the baby carrier. I have chronic back issues from a horse riding accident when I was 22, so I can't Babywear for more than about two hours at a time. Since my husband often travels for weeks at a time, if I ever want to leave the house on my own for more than two hours I usually have to take a stroller. So for us, it's a need. It's not a need for everyone. in my late teens and early 20s I contributed significantly to raising my nieces and nephews. With that, I handled enough pieces of Graco plastic crap to know that one would never enter my house. Ever. Yes, we dropped some $$$ on both of our strollers, but they are SO worth it for the freedom they give me and how much easier they are to use than cheap ones. Everyone who pushes our strollers for the first time invariably says "OMG this thing is amazing! It's like pushing a cloud!" Worth every penny, both of them.

Everything else.
Barring the Zombie Apocalypse, stores will still be open after your baby is born. They will still sell baby stuff. I'm pretty sure Target will survive the Apocalypse anyway. Set aside a few hundred dollars for random stuff you'll need in the first few months. Babies like one kind of pacifier or nipple, but not another. You'll run out of diapers or formula or you'll need rash cream. You'll figure out what works and you can always order from Amazon without leaving your house. Go simple before the baby is born. Hold onto all the free stuff you get to see what you might want or need. Learn about your baby's personality and your own parenting style before you invest in all that crap. But mostly, just enjoy being a parent. It's the most rewarding thing in life.

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #146 on: February 16, 2017, 11:40:54 PM »
We have a 3 year old and a 11 months old so I'll try to chime in.

1. Determine what you really need. IMO you only need the essentials like diapers, a car seat, some baby clothes, and a crib. All other things are extra.
2. Decide whether you want to go with cloth or disposable. We went with cloth for 99% of the time for both kids, disposable for night time and when we're traveling.
3. Get as much used clothes as you can. Babies grow out of clothes pretty quick. No need to pay $20 for a piece of clothing that the kid will wear for less than a month.
4. There are a lot of used stuff available out there. Find them on Craigslist and various Facebook groups.
5. Avoid going to these expensive kids stores!!!

MrsCoolCat

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #147 on: February 23, 2017, 10:41:54 PM »
Also, prior to my daughter's arrival it was looking more &amp; more affordable with the newborn... But after her birth we're spending $55 on a damn mobile bc my MIL insists on education materials, things/items to stimulate her mind &amp; well, here we are. MrCoolCat doesn't mind dropping the $55 rather then getting it gently used on OfferUp or LetGo... I'm okay, too, bc she is the firstborn &amp; I give up. Plus she's incredibly cute, too...

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MrsCoolCat

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #148 on: February 23, 2017, 11:00:43 PM »
On breastfeeding.
Chances are that you will be able to breastfeed exclusively if you do your homework and are committed, but you should know that the inability to exclusively breastfeed is actually surprisingly.  Note how I didn’t say the inability to breastfeed at all is common, just that the inability to exclusively breastfeed is. Most breastfeeding resources (including medical staff) paint an extremely biased and rosy picture of breastfeeding in order to encourage mothers to give it their best shot. No clinician wants to “give a mom a reason” to quit breastfeeding or decide it’s not for her, so the default is to act as though almost everyone can and downplay the reality of legitimate breastfeeding challenges that are not necessarily modifiable. You might hear bogus stats like “only 5% of moms can’t breastfeed!” as a way of reassuring women that they will be able to exclusively breastfeed. These stats are thrown around but only include those women who literally CANT breastfeed at all due to insufficient glandular tissue or other diagnosed physiologic problems. They do not include the countless numbers of extremely committed, well educated women who for unknown reasons did not have enough milk to fully keep an infant fed and thriving, or had an infant that could not effectively transfer milk and was never able to nurse despite repeat intervention and consultation. First time moms need to be aware that they are at particular risk of having milk supply problems, something none of my breastfeeding resources ever taught me.
My number one piece of advice when talking about breastfeeding would be to never, ever assume that exclusive breastfeeding is automatically a personal choice, and as a result, always have a back up plan just in case. Be flexible. Never assume you won't need formula at all. Doing so is kind of like assuming you never will need a csection - optimistic but unrealistic.
I highly recommend FedisBest.org if you want a sane, supportive place to learn all about breastfeeding safely, and how to best prepare yourself for a breastfeeding journey in a realistic and evidence based manner. They have a bunch of great resources, including an entire feeding plan you can bring to the hospital to ensure that you are making enough milk and breastfeeding successfully before discharge. Seriously if I had known about this website before I had my daughter, I don’t think she would have been rehospitalized for feeding problems and my breastfeeding may have lasted longer than it did.

This is very interesting. I noticed the breast-feeding mantra is strong in the medical community that we interacted with. While the support was great, breastfeeding didn't work for us, and the pressure of the expectations was actually kinda draining for a bit.
+1!!!

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MrsCoolCat

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Re: Tips on Saving Money on a Newborn
« Reply #149 on: February 23, 2017, 11:41:11 PM »
On breastfeeding.
Chances are that you will be able to breastfeed exclusively if you do your homework and are committed, but you should know that the inability to exclusively breastfeed is actually surprisingly.  Note how I didn’t say the inability to breastfeed at all is common, just that the inability to exclusively breastfeed is. Most breastfeeding resources (including medical staff) paint an extremely biased and rosy picture of breastfeeding in order to encourage mothers to give it their best shot. No clinician wants to “give a mom a reason” to quit breastfeeding or decide it’s not for her, so the default is to act as though almost everyone can and downplay the reality of legitimate breastfeeding challenges that are not necessarily modifiable. You might hear bogus stats like “only 5% of moms can’t breastfeed!” as a way of reassuring women that they will be able to exclusively breastfeed. These stats are thrown around but only include those women who literally CANT breastfeed at all due to insufficient glandular tissue or other diagnosed physiologic problems. They do not include the countless numbers of extremely committed, well educated women who for unknown reasons did not have enough milk to fully keep an infant fed and thriving, or had an infant that could not effectively transfer milk and was never able to nurse despite repeat intervention and consultation. First time moms need to be aware that they are at particular risk of having milk supply problems, something none of my breastfeeding resources ever taught me.
My number one piece of advice when talking about breastfeeding would be to never, ever assume that exclusive breastfeeding is automatically a personal choice, and as a result, always have a back up plan just in case. Be flexible. Never assume you won't need formula at all. Doing so is kind of like assuming you never will need a csection - optimistic but unrealistic.
I highly recommend FedisBest.org if you want a sane, supportive place to learn all about breastfeeding safely, and how to best prepare yourself for a breastfeeding journey in a realistic and evidence based manner. They have a bunch of great resources, including an entire feeding plan you can bring to the hospital to ensure that you are making enough milk and breastfeeding successfully before discharge. Seriously if I had known about this website before I had my daughter, I don’t think she would have been rehospitalized for feeding problems and my breastfeeding may have lasted longer than it did.

This is very interesting. I noticed the breast-feeding mantra is strong in the medical community that we interacted with. While the support was great, breastfeeding didn't work for us, and the pressure of the expectations was actually kinda draining for a bit.

Yes, I was shocked at how little objective and up-to-date education is provided to women on breastfeeding, even by hospitals and OBs/midwives. It's more propaganda than objective information - tons of info on benefits and how-to do it, but suspiciously little on risks/downsides. I mean really, no one EVER talks about risks with breastfeeding but infants like mine are living proof that they exist, regardless of how educated and committed a parent may be. And it turns out, all those risks (starvation related complications, excessive weight loss in infants, insufficient milk or delayed milk onset post birth, etc) are well documented in the medical and breastfeeding peer-reviewed literature but you need to know what to look for (ex: know about the problems to begin with) to even have a chance of finding anything. Absolutely no one seems to be willingly offering up this information to parents, despite the real need for it, and instead it remains almost completely hidden as if on purpose.

If there are any new parents to-be reading this, here is an easy litmus test to figure out if a newborn is receiving enough nutrition from the breast (great for anxious parents at home after discharge who can’t see a professional within a few hours): nurse baby until baby seems done/sleepy/pops off, then right after offer a bottle or syringe of a ½ oz pumped milk or ready-to-feed formula. If baby chugs it back and finishes it all, there is a really good chance baby is not eating to fullness/receiving enough at the breast yet. Offer an extra ½ ounce if needed. You can keep up with this nurse and top up system until baby refuses to take the extra food, or until you get professional help at your next appointment. This is basically a nurse on demand practice with a safe guard built in. If baby is truly not nursing effectively for whatever reason, the top ups will keep them hydrated and safe until you can get some help without compromising your breastfeeding. This is what we were taught to do in the hospital after my daughter was hospitalized for starvation related problems due to our inability to breastfeed sufficiently. I so wish someone had told me this BEFORE she deteriorated.

On a financial note - it is FAR more cost effective to prevent infant deterioration in the first place than wait for a baby to lose too much weight or get too dehydrated before you intervene. Formula supplementation for a couple days will set you back maybe 10 bucks and has been shown to actually improve your chances of successfully breastfeeding into the future, while blindly avoiding bottles and formula in an effort to preserve breastfeeding can land you with hundreds of dollars in medical bills, a sick baby, and a much more difficult time trying to get the baby back on the boob. Basically, when in doubt at all (especially when you are at home and not in the immediate care of a hospital), feed the baby an assured amount of nutrition first (ex: pumped milk or formula) and THEN worry about breastfeeding the so called "right" way. I learned this lesson the hard way, as have many other parents.
Great advice! Thanks! Yea, the nurses at my hospital were very passive aggressive regarding bf. I was definitely scared about starving my newborn after my friend's friend pretty much did just that bc her milk supply was low &amp; her hospital painted this formula is evil kinda image. The baby is fine now though.

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Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!