We are new to this forum, so while we consider ourselves big savers, we have not yet learned the tricks of frugality of many on this forum. Here are some things that factor into our costs for having kids, some of which we did not consider prior to having kids:
Beyond the obvious (daycare, college savings, costs to feed and clothe), our costs include:
--Even once kids are school age, if working then need to factor in cost of afterschool care and summer camp.
--Medical: Increased premiums for family plan, co-pays for sick visits, etc.
--Life Insurance: With kids, it is a good idea to have a good term life insurance plan
--Will/Trust: A one time expense, but I include it because this is important with kids!
--Kids activities: In our HCOL area, two seasons of town-league house level sports runs around $350/kid. Dance classes run over $800/year/kid. Piano lessons are super extravagant at a cost of around $2000/year. Obviously, these are not essential, but something to consider
--Community memberships: Do you think you will visit your local zoo/aquarium/children's museum/nature center regularly? If so, consider the cost of membership to these places.
--Birthday parties: If it is common in your circle for kids to be invited to all of their classmates' birthday parties, then you might find yourself buying birthday presents far more than you ever expected. Also consider cost of your child's birthday parties. Obviously this can be done frugally, or not (birthday party places in our area run $300-$500).
--School fundraisers/events: From school events (movie night, game show night, bingo night, international night, costume ball) to school book fairs to field trips to straight up fundraisers, schools seem to have a million different ways of seeking donations from parents.
--School supplies: Beyond the obvious (backpacks, lunch bags, notebooks, etc.), consider costs of printer ink (not cheap!) and other supplies for school projects
--Travel: We love to travel with our kids, and this is a huge added expense for us (I know, we're probably doing it wrong). But we travel by air to see family (2 extra plane tickets are not cheap), and restaurants, anything requiring tickets is just going to be more expensive with more people. Even "no cost" vacation activities are not completely cost free. We love to ride bikes on vacations and weekends, for example, but added costs include: child seat for bikes when kids were toddlers; "tandem" bike attachment to allow long bike rides when kids were 4-6 age range; kids bikes, hitch and bike rack for car, etc. Or even just the extra sun block/bug spray. It adds up!
--books! The easy answer is to just use the library, but I confess books are a not insignificant line item for us.
--misc.: Try as we might to limit the toys, they add up. Or we read about a cool science experiment to try with the kids and buy the supplies for that. Or we decide to try ice skating or bowling as a family activity. We obviously have much to learn about becoming more frugal, but even though we don't buy a lot of "stuff" the activities in particular are expensive!