we had never anticipated college for the kids, in part because of what we saw as the liberal anti-Christian influence there
Here's a question - how did you feel that it positively impacted you to interact with those of lower socio-economic classes, as you were growing up (say, before college age)? Did you feel that there were disadvantages or negatives associated with those interactions? I can pretty easily see the benefits of being exposed to other cultures, and I know some differences in socio-economic class will naturally go along with that, but coming from where I am, I can't imagine any benefit to any of your children, say, being exposed to the typical kid in our town. I see nothing but downside from that, sad to say. I like the idea of traveling with our children to other cultures, and letting them see first hand the poverty that other nations and cultures face, etc, but I do not like the idea of them going to school or social groups with kids like we have here - 3rd and 4th generation drug families, welfare as an accepted way of life, teen pregnancy with multiple fathers as the norm, etc. After growing up here myself, and now seeing my kids growing up here, I can't for the life of me see any benefit in living around this, or even being exposed to it part-time, like in sports teams, or summer daycamps.
AARGH -- I just lost an entire post, so I will try to re-create. Advance warning that you are kinda pushing my buttons here, so if some of this comes across as crotchety, I apologize, as that is truly not my intent.
1. Your analysis is based on a false assumption: that controlling/limiting your kids to parentally-sanctioned experiences now will protect them from falling into temptation. This is precisely wrong. You know the stereotype of the preacher's daughter? Yeah, I went to law school with her. And she slept around more than anyone I have ever met (except when daddy was visiting, of course, when the makeup and short skirts magically disappeared). Kids learn how to deal with temptation by being exposed to it, a little at a time -- while they are still under parental supervision and influence, so they don't get the chance to mess up too bad.
2. And why would you assume that your rural existence is more protective anyway? Look at your own story: I assume you were raised by parents who tried to impart the same morals you value -- but as soon as you got your driver's license, you were off. You are currently setting your kids up to make that exact same choice.
3. I think your view of the "lower socioeconomic classes" is so limited as to be off-base, and I suspect that comes from your own circumscribed experience. It sounds like you see the world as binary: there are the "good" people, who work hard and go to church and have good morals; and then you have the "lower socioeconomic classes," who rely on disability/welfare, who sleep around, and who blow all their money on beer and meth. I think this world view would benefit from getting out of your rural bubble. Not that people who fit that stereotype don't exist -- of course they do -- but in my area, they are the small minority, and the "lower" and "middle" classes reflect a hundred shades of grey in-between those extremes.
My neighborhood, for ex., ranges from families getting by on $20-30K/yr* (or less) in retail/education/nonprofit jobs, to people making high-six-figures in professional careers/their own businesses -- because there are
jobs in the area that pay everywhere across that range, and
opportunities for people to start new businesses (a/k/a customers with sufficient disposable income to buy the products/services). And those families are overwhelmingly good, decent people who just want what's best for their kids -- they get up and go to work in the morning to pay for a house in a decent, safe neighborhood with decent, safe schools, so they can give their kids the chance to learn what they will need to to do better than the parents did.
3.a. And some of them are even Democrats. Or athiests. Or gay. Or [insert scary "other" here].
4.
That is a feature, not a bug. You want your kids exposed to a wide variety of people so they can see both the differences and the similarities; so they can understand that some are born with more and some with less, and yet some of the former crash and burn and some of the latter succeed beyond anyone's expectations; so they can see, up close and personal, the different choices people make, and how those different choices over time lead to different results; so they can see the human being inside the big scary "other"; so they develop empathy and respect for their fellow humans.
My DD is smart and has the resources to go to a good college. She hangs around with (i) a teacher's kid who is whip-smart but who worries about how to afford college; (ii) a major athletic talent who is both extremely smart and works her butt off and sets a phenomenal example, and who desperately needs an athletic scholarship because dad works a public service job, but who has a potentially life-threatening physical condition that may prevent that option; (iii) a girl who is struggling to pull Cs in average classes and is worrying about how to support herself at 18 since she likely can't get into college and sure won't qualify for the scholarships she'd need to afford it; and (iv) a girl whose parents probably make less than us but who throw around money to impress people.** And that is teaching my DD to see and judge by the person inside, not the external trappings -- and to really understand, at a deeper level, how privileged she is to be smart, healthy, and have parents who can afford to send her to college.
4.a. This day-to-day experience is especially critical for introverts who would prefer to hole up in their safe zone (like, say, me). Social skills and connections with other people did not come easily to me; I could learn about what drove different people, and how different daily choices led to different results, only by living and interacting with all of those different people on a daily basis.
5. From a purely pragmatic perspective, your kids are likely to have jobs where they have to work with people who are different from them. And if you want your kids to be in the MC/UMC, they are likely going to need to manage kids from those lower socioeconomic classes. The most effective managers figure out what drives their employees and manage around that. Ergo, experience with different kinds of people, and a highly-developed sense of empathy, improve the ability to succeed on the job.
6. Please skip the poverty tourism. Travel to foreign countries is good to experience the full breadth of human existence, to see and understand how different-yet-similar people can be, to understand how each culture developed and the unique set of challenges and privileges each society presents. But those other countries are fully-fledged cultures in their own right; they do not exist to provide either a target of first-world pity or an object lesson to your kids about how lucky and privileged they are
not to live there.
*Medium-to-high COLA.
** I knew I had done something right when, on the way to the local country club for the girl's sweet sixteen party, my DD said, "boy, X is going to be screwed when she gets out of school, because her parents never make her work for
anything."
[Edited for typos]