Author Topic: Sleep help needed  (Read 4788 times)

ysette9

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Sleep help needed
« on: November 25, 2017, 10:25:03 AM »
My first baby was an appallingly bad sleeper. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad sleeper. We read the books which were worthless and we hired a sleep coach who was stumped. Eventually she just figured out herself how to sleep through the night at 15 months.

Now with our second (3 months old, 1 month adjusted age), we seem to be on a path to have an even worse sleeper. At one point she gave us a 5-hour stretch at night, but then that regressed to no more than 2 hours at a time. Her best sleep is when she is being held or is sleeping on someone's chest. Napping is appalling unless she is being worn in the baby wrap/carrier (where she sleeps very well). For example, we try to lay her down in her bed, swaddled, on her back, and she wakes immediately. Or more recently, I lay her down drowsy but awake, swaddled, on her back, and she will manage to fall asleep (I think) but wake up after no more than 10 minutes. I rock her back into a calm but drowsy state, put her down again, and ten minutes later she is screaming.

We tried sleeping on her belly, which worked a bit better, but still only gave us about 2 hours at night. For the first few days I tried that she napped amazingly well during the day and was a happy baby. However, that stopped working also. Basically I am at my wit's end. I go back to work in 5 weeks and am scared of trying to function during the day after being up 6-8 times a night. Does anyone have any advice? Should be go ahead and hire another sleep coach now?
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protostache

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2017, 12:14:18 PM »
3 months old and 8 weeks premature is a little young to be doing sleep training. She sounds like she's in the late third / "fourth" trimester stage of development where everything is unpredictable and frustrating, for you and for her. It sounds like you're making progress, with the 10 minutes at a time thing, but I totally understand the frustration.

When we hired a sleep coach around 6 months old (5 months adjusted) she said she would have told us to wait if we had contacted her earlier. They're just not ready for sleep training earlier, especially as young as your daughter is. Ours absolutely refused to sleep on her back, no matter what. Woke up instantly every single time we put her down on her back. Eventually we bought a Newton mattress (completely breathable firm open cell foam, completely washable, completely awesome and worth the money) and stopped worrying about putting her down on her belly.

I would encourage you to reach out to Pam, our sleep consultant, and see what she thinks: http://www.weebeedreaming.com

TheWifeHalf

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2017, 02:36:12 PM »
This may not be helpful to you, but it's my story:
When my first was born he was an AWFUL sleeper.  After 2-3 mos, he had projectile vomiting and through a bunch of medical stuff, it was determined he was allergic to milk. At the time he was only breastfeeding  and the doctors said he was allergic to the milk I was ingesting.

I stopped eating milk and he got better but we switched him over to a soy formula. Problem solved!

My second, I nursed and at about the same time she started showing the same signs. So, again, the soy formula, and she was fine.

The third? He got soy formula at the start.

At about 2 they seemed to no longer have a milk allergy.

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2017, 02:59:13 PM »
Thanks for the responses. Iíve tried eliminating dairy for other problems and didnít really see a change in the baby. She is on gas drops and an antacid for other reasons and that hasn't impacted sleep one way or the other.

Thanks for confirming my suspicion that she is too young at this point for us to do much actively. Iíll just try to power through it and hope for an improvement organically until she is old enough to do sleep training. Then again, sleep training was prettt much a total disaster with my oldest, so Iím reluctant to go down that road again. One step at a time.

Does anyone know of a bouncy chair that is mechanized to keep bouncing on its own? She does pretty well when my husband can keep his foot on her chair to keep it bouncing up and down.
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mousebandit

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2017, 04:11:34 PM »
Four preemie babies in 4 years.  We did arms reach cosleeper for nighttime.  I could hold baby's hand while sleeping, and pull baby right on over for nursing, then right back to their bed after.  I kept a couple diapers and small wipe pack right at the foot of the cosleeper and did my best MJ shot towards the trash can after nighttime diaper changes, lol. 

Daytime was either on me in a wrap, or in a bouncy seat immediately next to me, or in a battery operated swing.  It was many months before any of mine would sleep very long, very well, or very far from me.  They have radar, I swear it.  :-)

It's a survival time.  Do the best you can, enlist help where you can.  Don't stand for a task if you can do it sitting.  Don't sit up if you can do it reclining.  Don't be awake if you can be asleep!  Seriously.  Mothers helpers during the day or night are worth every penny once you have a couple of toddlers plus a newborn.  Pre-teen and young teen girls are a godsend.  Young enough to be enthralled with littles, and old enough to not let anyone die. 

Better Late

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2017, 08:12:45 PM »
Some babies respond well to  loud "white noise"--louder than you would think. Apparently life in the womb approaches the volume of a vacuum cleaner. So if you try that don't be shy with the volume.
Similarly try the baby swing at high speed (or higher than you would imagine would be soothing). It's just right for some babies.

Acorns

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2017, 08:28:30 PM »
You have my sympathy! My first was an absolutely horrible sleeper, and I went back to work at 9wks pp. We pretty much coslept and used the arms reach co sleeper because he wanted to nurse All. Night. Long. I think because I was working 12hr days, night was the only time he could spend time with me so he instinctively made the most of it. Finally at 11 mo old I said enough and we did sleep training and he became a great sleeper.

My second was an ok sleeper at night but she had reflux and NEVER let me put her down during the day. She never once took a nap in her crib, always in the baby carrier or wrap on my back. Once she was about 15 months old I realized that she napped really well in the car, the car didn't even have to be moving, so I started putting her down for naps in the car (buckled in her carseat)! Because of the reflux she had (still has) a very sensitive stomach. I think that I underestimated how much pain she was in for most of the first year of her life.

Depending on how demanding you job is and how much room you have in your budget, maybe get a night nanny a couple nights a week. Not a cheap option, but considering your baby will be only about 9wks old (adjusted) when you go back to work, that is probably still too young to sleep train and some nighttime help might be the least stressful solution for you both.

protostache

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2017, 08:48:05 PM »
Some babies respond well to  loud "white noise"--louder than you would think. Apparently life in the womb approaches the volume of a vacuum cleaner. So if you try that don't be shy with the volume.
Similarly try the baby swing at high speed (or higher than you would imagine would be soothing). It's just right for some babies.

Yeah that's a good point. My 16 month old sleeps with loud white noise. Specifically: constant, unchanging rainfall with the White Noise app on an old Android phone we keep around just for this purpose.

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2017, 01:08:33 PM »
I tried the sleep sheep on the rain setting up pretty high the second time I put her down for a nap this morning. She lasted a solid ten minutes which was more than the first time I put her down this morning. Ugh.

We donít have a swing but I am wondering if i should look for one on Craigslist. I really donít want more crap in the house, but I would be willing to make a temporary exception for this.
"It'll be great!"

Knitwit

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2017, 08:04:46 PM »
Ysette9, I followed you here from the baby & pregnancy thread. I wanted to offer my sympathies! What worked for my little guy at that age (he's now 4 months old) was a combination of the following: swaddling, using a soother, putting him to sleep in his swing, and white noise. Frequently all four at once :)  We are using a Halo sleep sack with the swaddling arms. Sometimes he seemed to fight it, but he always slept better swaddled.

What is your sleep sheep like? We had one that would cut off after about 20 minutes, and inevitably the sudden silence would disturb his sleep. Eventually I replaced it with an old iPhone & a cheap speaker and streamed white noise from Youtube or an ambient noise app and that seemed to work a lot better for him.

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2017, 08:48:38 PM »
Yep, our sleep sheep has two settings: 23 and 45 minutes. I never understood why it didnít have a forever setting. If I find that it seems to help Iíll just download the white noise app again.

Tonight she is swaddled and back in her bouncy chair, so sleeping up at a good angle. I emailed her doctor to ask about increasing her antacid dose. Earlier today she would not settle on my chest with me laying flat but she did fall asleep once I propped myself up a bit on pillows. Iím thinking she might have some acid problem going on.

My sympathies all around to those suffering as well. Whoever came up with the expression ďsleep like a babyĒ deserves to be smacked silly in my opinion.
"It'll be great!"

mxt0133

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2017, 10:01:40 PM »
My sympathies all around to those suffering as well. Whoever came up with the expression ďsleep like a babyĒ deserves to be smacked silly in my opinion.

+1  Nothing to add, just found your last comment hilarious.  Good luck, just remember that it get's better eventually.

Pennycounter

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2017, 11:48:12 PM »
I feel for you! My first was the worst sleeper. We did use a swing and that helped, I would def pick one up off criqgsly. You can get rid of it once sheís out of it. I also second the night nanny recommendation . Itís too soon for sleep training but if you must return to work, hire someone for 3-5 nights/ week. Start looking now.
Best of luck!

LiveLean

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2017, 08:23:43 AM »
When our oldest was 3 months old, he wasn't sleeping at all. I was at my wits end because he clearly wasn't getting enough to eat. I bought a canister of formula and begged my wife to let me use it. She felt so pressured to breast feed that she wouldn't until we went to our son's 4-month checkup where they found he had not gained a SINGLE OUNCE in one month.

At that point, the doctor politely suggested we turn to formula.

We went home and our son sucked down 3 1/2 bottles of formula, belched loudly, and slept for 12 hours. So did I.

He's now 15 and I'm convinced he's still small for his age -- and six inches shorter than me - because of losing this one month of development.

Any time I hear "experts" talk about the importance of breastfeeding to a child's development, I want to point to my undersized son and tell them how little I slept in April 2003.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2017, 08:25:45 AM by LiveLean »
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kimmarg

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2017, 08:33:53 AM »
All babies eventually sleep. really. I swear. Your child will not graduate high school and still be sleeping only 2 hours at a time. (And if they do it's their own choice and they don't need to wake you up)

Spend whatever money you need to to get through this stage. It's totally rough. We bought a used baby swing. Yes it took up half our living room but it was a complete godsend for about 2 months. Then we gave it to a friend who was similarly fighting a non sleeping baby.

As far as breastfeeding/formula and sleeping through the night all I can say is "Fed is best". Also the problem with even all the scientific studies on these types of things is that you don't have the statistical average baby for whom the study conclusions are valid. You have your baby. They may be an outlier in either direction. Try everything. You have my virtual support.

Also please remember YOU ARE FIRST. Do what you gotta do. The kid will not remember if you let them scream for 5 min while you finished your dinner. seriously.

protostache

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #15 on: November 27, 2017, 09:20:14 AM »
When our oldest was 3 months old, he wasn't sleeping at all. I was at my wits end because he clearly wasn't getting enough to eat. I bought a canister of formula and begged my wife to let me use it. She felt so pressured to breast feed that she wouldn't until we went to our son's 4-month checkup where they found he had not gained a SINGLE OUNCE in one month.

At that point, the doctor politely suggested we turn to formula.

We went home and our son sucked down 3 1/2 bottles of formula, belched loudly, and slept for 12 hours. So did I.

He's now 15 and I'm convinced he's still small for his age -- and six inches shorter than me - because of losing this one month of development.

Any time I hear "experts" talk about the importance of breastfeeding to a child's development, I want to point to my undersized son and tell them how little I slept in April 2003.

Oh little buddy! I'm glad y'all figured it out.

That breastfeeding pressure is absolutely unreal. My wife and I went in saying that we'd try breastfeeding but we were open to formula if it didn't work out because we had read so many stories of it just not working well for people. Lo and behold, kid wouldn't latch. We were supplementing with pumped milk for about a month but it just got to be too much so we switched to 100% formula. She never did latch right, even had problems with the bottles for a little bit until she got bigger.

The entire time this was going on, the nurses were pushing my wife so hard to figure out how to get the kid to latch, how to hold her, etc. The entire time my wife wanted to give up because the bad latch was extremely painful, but the guilt for not breastfeeding was overwhelming.

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #16 on: November 27, 2017, 10:20:30 AM »
Isnít it incredible how hard nursing is? You would think it would be natural and easy. after all, the pigs and cats and cows donít appear to struggle and yet almost every woman does in some form.

I had the opposite problem of a massive overproduction due to the pump (preemies). Good problem to have, all things considered, but it still is a very challenging and uncomfortable problem. Thankfully my 90th percentile, triple thigh roll baby is well fed. That leaves me wondering still why she didnít sleep longer stretches at night. Arenít fat babies supppsrd to sleep better earlier? She is as bad as her underweight sister was.

We put her in the bouncy chair last night and it went better: 2-3 hour stretches instead of 0.5-2 hour stretches. Iíll fire up the computer and lols for sei he on Craigslist this morning.
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protostache

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #17 on: November 27, 2017, 12:04:01 PM »
Isnít it incredible how hard nursing is? You would think it would be natural and easy. after all, the pigs and cats and cows donít appear to struggle and yet almost every woman does in some form.

I had the opposite problem of a massive overproduction due to the pump (preemies). Good problem to have, all things considered, but it still is a very challenging and uncomfortable problem. Thankfully my 90th percentile, triple thigh roll baby is well fed. That leaves me wondering still why she didnít sleep longer stretches at night. Arenít fat babies supppsrd to sleep better earlier? She is as bad as her underweight sister was.

We put her in the bouncy chair last night and it went better: 2-3 hour stretches instead of 0.5-2 hour stretches. Iíll fire up the computer and lols for sei he on Craigslist this morning.

Tremendous progress! That's awesome.

Sweetpotatofries

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #18 on: November 27, 2017, 12:11:34 PM »
Yep, our sleep sheep has two settings: 23 and 45 minutes. I never understood why it didnít have a forever setting. If I find that it seems to help Iíll just download the white noise app again.

Tonight she is swaddled and back in her bouncy chair, so sleeping up at a good angle. I emailed her doctor to ask about increasing her antacid dose. Earlier today she would not settle on my chest with me laying flat but she did fall asleep once I propped myself up a bit on pillows. Iím thinking she might have some acid problem going on.

My sympathies all around to those suffering as well. Whoever came up with the expression ďsleep like a babyĒ deserves to be smacked silly in my opinion.


This is what we use - we have a sleep sheep but it is SO MUCH BETTER! https://www.toysrus.com/product?productId=89FB0E06&source=CAPLA_DF:89FB0E06:BRUS&cagpspn=plab_89FB0E06&camp=PLAPPCG-_-PID89FB0E06:BRUS&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjO_QBRC4ARIsAD2FsXPMl03lLTBL5rnmLOjYMA45IvGYYmQtkqHcUNgK1jyaUVJzqVuH1p8aApL_EALw_wcB

It's an owl and it plugs into the wall and plays continuously. We keep it on all night.

Ours was not a preemie (39 weeks) but was in NICU for a week for a pneumothorax (breathing issue) and monitoring. I had to learn breastfeeding on my own and did not much like the lack of support, but one grace of the NICU was their routine - feed baby, diaper change and cuddle, put them back in their "box" to sleep. We didn't have any kind of routine for about a month, but at around 1 month old we began an eat-play/wake-nap routine in earnest. So we would feed baby every 2-2.5 hours in the day and then at night we let him go as long as he would. We had to stretch him a little (Dad soothed back to sleep rather than Mom, because Mom = food) and we realized he often went back to sleep on his own or didn't really wake up if he made lesser noises or just fussed for 5 min. If it turned into full on crying we fed immediately.

He started off giving us a 4-5 hour stretch (then every 2 hours after that), but it progressed quickly. Around 8 weeks it was 7 hours I think, so only one wakeup to eat in the middle of the night! (It started at 7:30pm, which is my other tip - babies go to bed early, if we tried keeping him up later that only resulted in crying and waking MORE frequently, so we just went to bed at 8:30 since we were beat anyway). He slept through the night around 3 months (7:30-6/7:30). I didn't expect it for another month or two, but my midwife, who's very pro breastfeeding/natural parenting, even said by 4 months babies only need one night feeding and most can drop it by 6 months. Yours being a preemie, it may differ. Mine gained 2-3 pounds per month the first two months of life, so we were confident he was getting enough milk.

StarBright

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #19 on: November 27, 2017, 12:25:00 PM »
We had two awful sleepers and also hired a sleep specialist who was able to get the wake-ups from 8-10 times a night down to 4-5.

One of the products she strongly recommended for swaddling was the woombie:
https://www.amazon.com/Woombie-Original-Swaddle-Waves-Newborn/dp/B0776L654J/ref=sr_1_fkmr2_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1511810292&sr=8-1-fkmr2&keywords=zipping%2Bsleep%2Bsack%2Bbabies&th=1

With my second child we used that sucker in combination with a rocker until she was almost a year old. It was the only way we got any sleep at all.

This too shall pass - but it sure is tough when you are in the thick of it.

I also second a night nanny if you have the money for it. In retrospect the lack of sleep was damaging for my health and I wish I wouldn't have spent years just trying to push through it.

 

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2017, 01:33:08 PM »
Quick update: I got a free swing on Craigslist yesterday (win!) and tried it out. She rejected it throughly last night when she is at her absolute worst. I tried again this morning high and she napped in it for an hour on the maximum swing setting. Amazing! I woke really love to be able to set her down in it at dinner time which is witching hour. Iíll try again tonight. Fingers crossed.
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protostache

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #21 on: November 28, 2017, 01:54:47 PM »
Quick update: I got a free swing on Craigslist yesterday (win!) and tried it out. She rejected it throughly last night when she is at her absolute worst. I tried again this morning high and she napped in it for an hour on the maximum swing setting. Amazing! I woke really love to be able to set her down in it at dinner time which is witching hour. Iíll try again tonight. Fingers crossed.

Witching hour is the worst. Nothing worked for us for very long. Shushing and patting worked for bouts of a few days, but it basically had to be constant the entire time.

Please believe me when I say that it gets better.

Northern gal

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #22 on: November 28, 2017, 02:43:02 PM »
My sympathies all around to those suffering as well. Whoever came up with the expression ďsleep like a babyĒ deserves to be smacked silly in my opinion.

+1  Nothing to add, just found your last comment hilarious.  Good luck, just remember that it get's better eventually.

+1. I went back to work when DS1 was 3 months and he started reverse cycling and waking every 1-2 hours. It sucked.

For me, cosleeping allowed me to make the most of what little sleep I could get. Also I avoided driving and used public transport. It was hard, but it passed.

Good luck, you are stronger than you think and this is not forever.

gatortator

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #23 on: November 28, 2017, 02:51:19 PM »
 I really feel for you.   you're doing all the right things...

With our second, acid really seemed to be an issue.  He nursed frequently more for comfort it seemed than nourishment.  I eliminated all citrus, all tomatoes, and all other acidic sources from my diet while I was breastfeeding and that really helped.  It also helped to have him sleep in a inclined position-- car seat, bouncy seat, even an inclined crib ( books under one side of the crib).   As he grew older and his stomach developed more,  the problem slowly went away.

hoping2retire35

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #24 on: November 28, 2017, 03:04:44 PM »
I tried the sleep sheep on the rain setting up pretty high the second time I put her down for a nap this morning. She lasted a solid ten minutes which was more than the first time I put her down this morning. Ugh.

We donít have a swing but I am wondering if i should look for one on Craigslist. I really donít want more crap in the house, but I would be willing to make a temporary exception for this.

BA-BOOM. that's not crap that's a nap!

We have the forward and sideways swings, you never know which one they will like.

TheWifeHalf

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #25 on: November 28, 2017, 10:09:16 PM »
Reading this, I just remembered:
When my third was born, his middle name should have been Oops!  I had a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old (planned). The third was 10 mos younger than his sister. 
I had some health problems when he was 10 days old and he spent ~50% of his waking hours in a swing for 6 months. It made him fall asleep, kept me the kind of Mom I wanted to be.
It doesn't seem to have affected him negatively in any way.

Joel

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #26 on: November 28, 2017, 11:06:09 PM »
Have you tried using Evivo? (www.evivo.com) We have been using this probiotic with our three week old and he sleeps 7-10 hours straight every night! Heís also not colicky or fussy at all. Itís expensive, but seems to be worth it!

slappy

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #27 on: November 29, 2017, 06:22:34 AM »
Have you tried using Evivo? (www.evivo.com) We have been using this probiotic with our three week old and he sleeps 7-10 hours straight every night! Heís also not colicky or fussy at all. Itís expensive, but seems to be worth it!

We use a probiotic as well and it seems to help. My son woke hourly from 4 months old until about 14 months old. At 15 months, he just recently starting sleeping mostly through the night.

Acorns

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #28 on: November 29, 2017, 02:29:18 PM »
Thankfully my 90th percentile, triple thigh roll baby is well fed. That leaves me wondering still why she didnít sleep longer stretches at night. Arenít fat babies supppsrd to sleep better earlier? She is as bad as her underweight sister was.


Unfortunately, in my (fairly limited) experience, weight has nothing to do with duration of sleep. I remember hearing "when they hit 15bs" or "X multiple of their birthweight they will sleep" and none of it worked for me. My 90%'er slept waaaayyyyy worse than my 5%'er!

Misstachian

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #29 on: November 29, 2017, 05:27:00 PM »
The dockatot was worth every single penny of the $200+ we paid for it. We went weeks where baby wouldn't sleep for more than ten minutes if he wasn't being held. This led to us falling asleep holding him all the time, accidental cosleeping, and switching off every two hours when he fed so each of us would get two blessed hours at a time. It was terrible. I feel for you.

The first time we put him down asleep in the dock he slept 2.5 hours. It would have been worth it just for that!! I think it mimics arms enough.

If you go this route, note that the dock is approved for sleep in Europe, but not here as the recommendations are to have nothing whatsoever in the crib/bassinet. Our analysis was that it seemed safer to use the dock than to risk falling asleep on the couch, the worst cosleeping place. Note that the dockatot seems rigorously tested for Europe, and don't buy a knockoff bed - the ones that just look like it do not have the same carbon dioxide breathable fabric and stuffing.

YMMV, but it was the biggest help for us, and doubles as a travel or cosleeping bed. We got an extra cover but not soon enough - we were being che, but one night of a leaky diaper and no replacement sheet = no sleep again, and you'd best believe we ordered that cover at 3am!

slappy

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #30 on: November 30, 2017, 05:58:52 AM »
My sympathies all around to those suffering as well. Whoever came up with the expression ďsleep like a babyĒ deserves to be smacked silly in my opinion.

+1  Nothing to add, just found your last comment hilarious.  Good luck, just remember that it get's better eventually.

+1. I went back to work when DS1 was 3 months and he started reverse cycling and waking every 1-2 hours. It sucked.

For me, cosleeping allowed me to make the most of what little sleep I could get. Also I avoided driving and used public transport. It was hard, but it passed.

Good luck, you are stronger than you think and this is not forever.

Mine did that too. I went back to work and he started waking every hour from 4 months until 8 months. Before that he would give us at least one 5 hour stretch per night.

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #31 on: November 30, 2017, 07:36:52 PM »
I got one good nap out of the swing (1 hour) and the next day she napped for only half an hour in the swing. It is like when I first tried her sleeping on her stomach: the first few times were amazing and then she adapted and got back into her terrible sleep pattern. She pretty much hasnít slept flat on her back in two months because it just doesnít work. She is on an antacid (what of it she doesnít manage to spit back out, that is) and she usually sleeps in her bouncy chair. I borrowed a too-small swaddle and have a bigger one coming in two days. She slept in her swing the past two nights and did marginally better, but I am visiting relatives now and only have her bouncy chair. Ugh. Wish me luck this week because I am so incredibly tired. I feel like all of my tricks are slowly being eliminated.
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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #32 on: November 30, 2017, 11:38:13 PM »
All babies eventually sleep. really. I swear. Your child will not graduate high school and still be sleeping only 2 hours at a time. (And if they do it's their own choice and they don't need to wake you up)

I love you for saying this!!! Thank you <3

lifejoy

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #33 on: November 30, 2017, 11:46:55 PM »
I got one good nap out of the swing (1 hour) and the next day she napped for only half an hour in the swing. It is like when I first tried her sleeping on her stomach: the first few times were amazing and then she adapted and got back into her terrible sleep pattern. She pretty much hasn’t slept flat on her back in two months because it just doesn’t work. She is on an antacid (what of it she doesn’t manage to spit back out, that is) and she usually sleeps in her bouncy chair. I borrowed a too-small swaddle and have a bigger one coming in two days. She slept in her swing the past two nights and did marginally better, but I am visiting relatives now and only have her bouncy chair. Ugh. Wish me luck this week because I am so incredibly tired. I feel like all of my tricks are slowly being eliminated.

Can you pump and give someone the bottle so that you can rest a little more one day?

I sometimes put baby in swaddle and then in swing.

She sleeps better when held some when I’m desperate I get someone to hold her.

Sometimes she sleeps while being baby worn while I sit on an exercise ball and bounce lightly.

Good luck! And solidarity.

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #34 on: December 01, 2017, 02:00:38 AM »
She sleeps really well during the day if I am walking. I have gotten in some excellent hikes with her sleeping peacefully on me. I definitely swaddle since that seems to help.

Interestingly, on the probiotic idea, I got one for myself since I didnít find a baby one in the store (wasnít really committed to the idea, so I went low-effort). The only change I noticed there was that she went from pooping maybe once a week to more than once a day. No change in sleep though!

One of my nurses in the hospital had recommended doc a tot. I am hesitant to try a $200 product when so many things have failed already. With my older there was no magical solution and she didnít really sleep until 15 months no matter what we did. Maybe if I can find one cheap on Craigslist....
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Dicey

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #35 on: December 01, 2017, 02:24:10 AM »
Try CL, NextDoor or FB. In such an affluent area, there are bound to be more of them in circulation. Fingers crossed.
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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #36 on: December 01, 2017, 06:01:25 AM »
Have you tried white noise?

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #37 on: December 01, 2017, 06:21:54 AM »
She sleeps really well during the day if I am walking. I have gotten in some excellent hikes with her sleeping peacefully on me. I definitely swaddle since that seems to help.

Interestingly, on the probiotic idea, I got one for myself since I didnít find a baby one in the store (wasnít really committed to the idea, so I went low-effort). The only change I noticed there was that she went from pooping maybe once a week to more than once a day. No change in sleep though!

One of my nurses in the hospital had recommended doc a tot. I am hesitant to try a $200 product when so many things have failed already. With my older there was no magical solution and she didnít really sleep until 15 months no matter what we did. Maybe if I can find one cheap on Craigslist....

I have to be reading this wrong...

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #38 on: December 01, 2017, 07:38:26 AM »
She sleeps really well during the day if I am walking. I have gotten in some excellent hikes with her sleeping peacefully on me. I definitely swaddle since that seems to help.

Interestingly, on the probiotic idea, I got one for myself since I didnít find a baby one in the store (wasnít really committed to the idea, so I went low-effort). The only change I noticed there was that she went from pooping maybe once a week to more than once a day. No change in sleep though!

One of my nurses in the hospital had recommended doc a tot. I am hesitant to try a $200 product when so many things have failed already. With my older there was no magical solution and she didnít really sleep until 15 months no matter what we did. Maybe if I can find one cheap on Craigslist....

I wasnít talking about just any probiotic though. Look at the reviews for the Evivo: https://www.evivo.com/evivo-story/real-moms-share they have $10 off coupons and you could try their ď1-month refillĒ to see if it works for $55. Thatís what we did.

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #39 on: December 01, 2017, 08:58:45 AM »
I am so sorry you are going through this.

Want to second they will eventually sleep through the night -
My first did the week he turned two.
My second did once at two years eight months and then not again until she turned three years and a couple of days.
It is so unbelievably exhausting. 
Now they are 16 and 13 and have great sleeping patterns.  They don't wake us up for anything - they can even handle vomit solo or help each other out.

One thing a mom said to me that made me feel better at the time of exhaustion was - the smarter ones are always poor sleepers.  I think it is true - my guys are brilliant lovely people. 
I did end up quitting my job when I couldn't cope with the sleep deprivation.  I also gained a lot of weight.

We coped as a family by having every room in the house set up for sleep or naps.  Both kids napped better outside so we would pull the stroller or sleigh up onto the back porch and throw the sleeping bag on top and go inside and read a book by the door.  The guest bed was fair game for part of the night - the sofa bed in the den was open and made up for another sleeping bunch.  I went to bed at 7:30 and hubs dealt with everything until 1 am and then it was my shift.  Then he would take over from 6 am to 8 while I slept some more.  That is how we did it.  We co-slept with one or more kids - Hell it was musical beds all over the house.

I have to confess - I am Canadian and we have a year maternity leave - I don't have a clue how you do it.
I took an extra six months with my son and quit working full time instead of going back after my daughter.  My best wishes for peaceful nights, they will come.
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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2017, 04:24:39 PM »
You are not reading it wrong on the change in pooping frequently! Though I stopped taking it and she seems to be slowing down, only two poopy diapers yesterday and none so far today.

Yes, we have tried white noise but it seems she can take it or leave it. My new, bigger swaddle should come tomorrow. Iím on travel visiting family an airplane ride from home but I can look up the dock a tot when I get home. Iíll look into the probiotic also. What is the premise behind that helping sleep?
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ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2017, 04:39:09 PM »
No dock a tots available on Craigslist in my area, which is surprising considering it is the Bay Area. I can already hear my husband protesting wildly if I brought up buying a product that is $200. He protested at the $15 swaddle! Iíll keep contemplating it. I really wish there was a way to try it before purchasing, like the free swing I got on Craigslist.
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ManlyFather

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2017, 04:51:49 PM »
No sleep is no fun for anyone!

That said, 1 month is too young to start hardcore sleep training.  If you are interested, there is a wonderful book backed up with research on this very topic: Baby Wise.  Do an amazon search or go to your library.  We used this method, and it just works.  Our little guy was 1 week early, and by week 11 adjusted he slept through the night (well, 6-7 hr, but that's all we need).

As for the antacid, probiotics, antigas, and other drugs you are giving the baby: if you are giving them ONLY to help with sleep, I would stop giving them (they aren't doing any good).

Feed baby every 3ish hours (wake them up if you need to).  Be religious about this (seriously).  And don't feed baby prior to a nap during the day.

Here's the routine: wake up, eat, have awake time.  In that order, every time during the day.  This gets baby on a routine that works (this is backed up with high quality medical research and rigorous statistical analysis).  This isn't opinion, this is FACT.

In summary, check out Baby Wise for your questions on sleep training, and FOLLOW IT'S DIRECTIONS.  This WILL get baby sleeping through the night by the time you get back to work.  If you don't follow the book's advice, you're going to be tired for the next few years.

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #43 on: December 01, 2017, 06:29:39 PM »
You are not reading it wrong on the change in pooping frequently! Though I stopped taking it and she seems to be slowing down, only two poopy diapers yesterday and none so far today.

Yes, we have tried white noise but it seems she can take it or leave it. My new, bigger swaddle should come tomorrow. Iím on travel visiting family an airplane ride from home but I can look up the dock a tot when I get home. Iíll look into the probiotic also. What is the premise behind that helping sleep?

Regarding Evivo, the research came out of UC Davis and is supposed to do a lot of good things for the kids health long term. (Such as reduce risks for obesity, allergies, asthma, diabetes, etc) It helps with the childís digestion and they are able to better digest the HMOs in breast milk. Typically eliminates colic and upset stomachs in the short term, which ends up resulting in a less fussy baby and reduces poops to about 1 per day as all the nutrients are digested.

ysette9

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #44 on: December 01, 2017, 07:31:24 PM »
Iíll be honest, Iím skeptical of another book since the ones weíve read havenít helped. I suppose the next book might be the one we were looking for all along. This could also be the exhaustion speaking. We do wake, eat, and play. The problem is that sleep is supposed to follow next in that routine and it doesnít because she screams bloody murder. Iím not interested in getting thrbbany to sleep through thrvnjght. I want her to nap and i want her to sleep for three-hour stretches at night. If she did that then I could return to being a human being.

Anyway, the screamer is finally asleep so I need to do the same. Fingers crossed that I get some to night.
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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #45 on: December 01, 2017, 08:22:57 PM »
Iíll be honest, Iím skeptical of another book since the ones weíve read havenít helped. I suppose the next book might be the one we were looking for all along. This could also be the exhaustion speaking. We do wake, eat, and play. The problem is that sleep is supposed to follow next in that routine and it doesnít because she screams bloody murder. Iím not interested in getting thrbbany to sleep through thrvnjght. I want her to nap and i want her to sleep for three-hour stretches at night. If she did that then I could return to being a human being.

Anyway, the screamer is finally asleep so I need to do the same. Fingers crossed that I get some to night.

What is your current sleep/wake routine? I read several books on sleep; if I knew your current routine/schedule maybe I could think of something you haven't already tried.

My heart aches for you, I remember those sleepless nights all too well and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #46 on: December 01, 2017, 10:24:15 PM »
No dock a tots available on Craigslist in my area, which is surprising considering it is the Bay Area. I can already hear my husband protesting wildly if I brought up buying a product that is $200. He protested at the $15 swaddle! Iíll keep contemplating it. I really wish there was a way to try it before purchasing, like the free swing I got on Craigslist.
My Next Door group has a lot of baby stuff. One, the items are close to home and two, you know the name of the seller and basically where they live. I think this is much easier than CL. Also, you can post an ISO ad, or even just ask to borrow one to see if it works.
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ManlyFather

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #47 on: December 02, 2017, 06:50:31 AM »
Iíll be honest, Iím skeptical of another book since the ones weíve read havenít helped. I suppose the next book might be the one we were looking for all along. This could also be the exhaustion speaking. We do wake, eat, and play. The problem is that sleep is supposed to follow next in that routine and it doesnít because she screams bloody murder. Iím not interested in getting thrbbany to sleep through thrvnjght. I want her to nap and i want her to sleep for three-hour stretches at night. If she did that then I could return to being a human being.

Anyway, the screamer is finally asleep so I need to do the same. Fingers crossed that I get some to night.

Babies always cry when you put them down for a nap after sleeping.  Always.  It's OK to let them cry (for up to 15 min)!  You're not a terrible parent for teaching your child how to sleep, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!

If your baby cries for more than 15 minutes, go into her room, check on her/pick her up for a minute or two, and PUT HER BACK DOWN.

Read the book.  If you don't want to read the book and make the changes, you can expect more of the same.

Dicey

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #48 on: December 02, 2017, 07:33:09 AM »
Iíll be honest, Iím skeptical of another book since the ones weíve read havenít helped. I suppose the next book might be the one we were looking for all along. This could also be the exhaustion speaking. We do wake, eat, and play. The problem is that sleep is supposed to follow next in that routine and it doesnít because she screams bloody murder. Iím not interested in getting thrbbany to sleep through thrvnjght. I want her to nap and i want her to sleep for three-hour stretches at night. If she did that then I could return to being a human being.

Anyway, the screamer is finally asleep so I need to do the same. Fingers crossed that I get some to night.

Babies always cry when you put them down for a nap after sleeping.  Always.  It's OK to let them cry (for up to 15 min)!  You're not a terrible parent for teaching your child how to sleep, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!

If your baby cries for more than 15 minutes, go into her room, check on her/pick her up for a minute or two, and PUT HER BACK DOWN.

Read the book.  If you don't want to read the book and make the changes, you can expect more of the same.
This might be excellent advice, but could you please be a little more gentle with it? We're trying to get a baby to sleep here...
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slappy

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Re: Sleep help needed
« Reply #49 on: December 02, 2017, 07:43:27 AM »
Iíll be honest, Iím skeptical of another book since the ones weíve read havenít helped. I suppose the next book might be the one we were looking for all along. This could also be the exhaustion speaking. We do wake, eat, and play. The problem is that sleep is supposed to follow next in that routine and it doesnít because she screams bloody murder. Iím not interested in getting thrbbany to sleep through thrvnjght. I want her to nap and i want her to sleep for three-hour stretches at night. If she did that then I could return to being a human being.

Anyway, the screamer is finally asleep so I need to do the same. Fingers crossed that I get some to night.

Babies always cry when you put them down for a nap after sleeping.  Always.  It's OK to let them cry (for up to 15 min)!  You're not a terrible parent for teaching your child how to sleep, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!

If your baby cries for more than 15 minutes, go into her room, check on her/pick her up for a minute or two, and PUT HER BACK DOWN.

Read the book.  If you don't want to read the book and make the changes, you can expect more of the same.
This might be excellent advice, but could you please be a little more gentle with it? We're trying to get a baby to sleep here...

It might be good advice for a much older baby.

I've mentioned before that my son is currently 15 months and went from 4 months to a year waking every hour.

OP, will the baby sleep in a car? Some advice I got was that sleep begets sleep. If baby will sleep on a car ride, then car naps are ok and necessary. 

Do you have a moms group around you or at the hospital you delivered at? That would be a good start for support, ideas and possibly a lead on a dock a tot. I had the same issue as you. I really wanted one but couldn't justify the price. There is also a sleep group on faceboook called sleep for the littles or sleepy littles or something like that. Its a gentle sleep group, so they don't talk about cry it out at all.

My heart hurts for you...This experience is so recent for me. Its the worst when your kid doesn't sleep and it seems like everyone else's kid does. I used to wonder what I was doing wrong. But then i remembered, my kid was like that in the hospital at birth. I would hold him, nurse him, he would fall asleep. I would put him the basinette and try to sleep and bam, 10 minutes later he was up. He nursed like clockwork every 10 minutes for the first three weeks of his life. Its such a hard time.