Should I send my kid to preschool?

[merula]

My son is almost 3, and I'm starting to think about preschool. The one I'm thinking about is $300/month.

Pros:
-Socialization and getting used to a classroom environment
-Language skills (we're looking at a language immersion preschool that feeds into a public immersion elementary)
-Husband would potentially have more time to devote to other things (cooking, home maintenance, sanity)

Cons:
-Cost! $300/month for two mornings a week. That's $11/hour, and adds up to $5,400 over the course of two years. (Though we could also move him to a free public pre-K at 4, just not at the immersion school.)

That seems reasonable, but I still can't really swallow $300/month.

[Bob W]

Yes, we were in the same situation except much less income.   

Our son was the youngest Kindergartener out of 200 kids in public school and we think because of preschool he kept up and exceeded many children.  (although they appear to be dumming him down in 2nd grade?)

One benefit you didn't mention is the frequent exposure to communicable disease.  Hopefully your kid will be sick a lot in preschool and that is a very good thing.  Especially since dad will be there to take care of him.

Our son did the daycare and preschool gig for much of his 0-6 years.  He was sick maybe 5-6 times per year.  The good thing is that this builds up kids defenses to disease for the rest of their life.

Our son is now in 2nd grade and rarely is sick. He has already been exposed to so many germs and viruses that he is a walking immunity little man. 

That plus, "Headstart" has been demonstrated to improve kids performance in grades k-3. 

[Hvillian]

There is probably no wrong decision, but we ended up sending our kids to preschool. 

Our preschool worked out to about $6-7 dollars an hour.  I was skeptical of parting with that money every month, but I think overall it is a good decision.  The biggest benefit is giving my wife a few hours with one less kid at home.  Good for her sanity and it allows her to focus more attention on the younger kids (or let the baby have a quieter nap time).  It is cheaper than a babysitter would be in our area.

Below are the other benefits that come to mind, but probably wouldn't have been worth the money because the same things are likely to happen once they start kindergarten:
- Our kids are somewhat shy, and it helped them to interact with the same adults every day and learn how other kids play with each other.
-  They get exposure to a variety of  topics (science, history, cultures, books, etc.), and they do absorb a lot of it.  It is interesting to see them take an interest in different things.

[SomeDaySoon]

This past September, we enrolled our daughter in preschool and it's been great for her.  Our main goal was for the socialization since she's more on the quiet side.  In just a few months, we have noticed a huge difference and she loves to go.  My husband stays home with her too and for us, it's been well-worth the expense.

My suggestion would be to try it and see how he does.  If he loves it, working an extra 1-2 months would be worth it IMHO especially in an immersion program where the benefits of learning another language at this age are many.

[sandandsun]

We sent ours to pre-school as we both work, so no other option... I will second the comment about immunity, though.  Both of ours were constantly sick (and so were we) from ages 1.5 to 4... But they are in 4th and 6th grades now and, I'm telling you, they have literally NEVER been sick since they started kindergarten, other than the odd upset stomach ... it was like a switch flipped at around age 5 or something...
But 300 for an unneeded expense- I dunno- I'd probably try to expose them in play groups or something and save the money...  the other nice benefit of pre-school is they get used to saying 'goodbye' to you and a routine- you wont get the meltdown in kindergarten since it wont be the first time they are away from you...  I watched those kindergarten meltdowns and thought 'thank you Jesus that I don't have to go through that again'... 
there's no right answer though- and the impact long term will be negligible either way you go :)

[justajane]

We waited until both of our older boys were four to send them to preschool, but before that they had already been going to a Parent's Day Out program three days a week. The preschool is full day (8-3) and in the same building where they attend public kindergarten. I wanted them to get used to the building and the staff. Plus it is just a fantastic preschool program, so much so that you have to show up immediately at registration. Even then we were put on a waiting list for our desired time.

My middle kid is now enrolled M/W/F from 8-3, and it costs $400 a month and includes lunch and snack. $300 for two mornings a month sounds high to me. It would really need to be stellar learning for me to want to pay that much!

I didn't think it was necessary to start preschool at three like many do. I figured one year was enough to prepare them for a more structured environment in kindergarten.

[orbix]

One of the things that's been a huge plus for us is getting our girls used to someone who's not Mom or Dad being in charge for a time. Learning to listen to instructions from a non-parent is more learned that you'd think! If your kids are involved in some other kind of activities where or your spouse aren't the ones running the show, I'd say it's a tossup, and would depend pretty heavily on the quality of the curriculum at the preschool in question.

As for the cost, I'd say that justajane is insanely lucky- $300/month for 2 mornings a week is pretty typical around here, and it's definitely made us ask a lot of questions about how worthwhile it is.

[waltworks]

Our son got bored with us/nanny, no matter how much playgrouping/trips we did. Just not the same fun as a bunch of friends every day with professional teachers. He LOVED it as soon as he started (18 mos). Should have started earlier.

-W

[justajane]

As for the cost, I'd say that justajane is insanely lucky- $300/month for 2 mornings a week is pretty typical around here, and it's definitely made us ask a lot of questions about how worthwhile it is.

Perhaps true, although I hardly think we are "insanely lucky" or that this number is that low. I researched preschools in the area, and this was somewhat normal or on the high side. We do, however, live in a LCOL area with lower salaries, so it's still a stretch for us and many other families who use the preschool. Full time it's $700 a month, and with before and after school care for working families, this becomes closer to $900-$1,000. That's high, IMO.

Oh, and I imagine this number, which still works out to about $40 a day, is somewhat subsidized by taxes.

[cynthia1848]

I say YES to preschool.  All of our kids went.  We did pay twice, preschool + nanny, but it was good for them for socialization. 

[hdatontodo]

Yes. Our kid went from daycare to preschool at age 4 and, because of his December BD,  preschool continued into age 5. It helped his social skills and learning skills. His was 5 days/week. He turned 6 a few months into kindergarten.

It also gave him some additional neighborhood friends who later went to different elementary schools.

[Bob W]

I forgot to mention the health benefits for myself.  After raising 4 kids through daycare and preschool I've been exposed to every germ and virus that comes down the pike.    I think that really strengthened my immunity as well.   

OP please keep us posted and let us know what you ultimately decide?

[MayDay]

Both our kids loved preschool and as a SAHM, I loved it too. 

It was difficult/impossible for me to replicate the experience at home because I'm an introvert, and scheduling a constant stream of playdates/playgroups sucks. Plus my extrovert child needs to be out Doing Things and Meeting People.

For us the cheapest preschool was fine- we didn't need waldorf/Montessori/reggio etc. All those are great but really we just wanted the kids to play and sing songs and play some more. Academics schmacedemics.  Anyway we pay 200 a month for 4 half days through the county public preschool.

A friend was anti preschool until her kid crashed and burned in K. Virtually all the other kids had preschool experience, and her kid had no understanding of basic stuff like "sit on the rug for circle time without touching other kids" or "walk down the hallway in line". He also was quite behind with writing letters. Her second kid is now going to preschool.

[Yankuba]

I also vote YES for preschool

[1967mama]

I'm one of the few dissenting voices in the NO camp, I guess :-)

I've raised a large family with no preschool and none of them now cling to my leg or cry when separated from me, none of them demonstrate poor socialization and all are functioning well in large group and small group settings. They range from adults down to a 7 year old.

To do preschool, or not is really a personal choice and depends on circumstances.  When it comes down to the $$$ of it, I just don't think I'd want to spend that kind of money for a play group/introductory academics when I can do the same thing for my children myself. YMMV

[Emilyngh]

This is a timely topic for us, as our daughter is 3 yrs old, DH is a SAHD with her, she currently has not attended preschool, but we'll be finding one for her for next year.

Really, I don't think preschool for privileged kids is in any way necessary, or really has any impact either way.   I was actually planning on DD not going as the default choice.   However, DD just loves activities, getting out of the house,and  is very high energy, so not only do I think she'll love it, but frankly, DH and I won't mind getting her out of the house at least a few mornings a week.

Our challenge will be finding a program that meets our needs.   There is a Montessori program, but at almost $500 a month, I can't stomach it.   The other options are all church programs.   Which are super inexpensive, but as atheists, we're really going to have to check out exactly what's involved.   

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

My older son, who will be 4 next week, is in free preschool five half-days a week at the public school because he has an IEP. It is a wonderful program on which he has thrived.

That said, I am leaning AWAY from special preschool for my younger son, who will be 3 in May. He does attend a home-based day care a few days a week, so he gets some stimulation that way. What I will probably do is take him to library storytimes, etc. and maybe put him in Cub Camp at the Y (only 1 day a week, but for 3 hours). Then I will put him in a more regular preschool the year he's 4.

[MayDay]

Our challenge will be finding a program that meets our needs.   There is a Montessori program, but at almost $500 a month, I can't stomach it.   The other options are all church programs.   Which are super inexpensive, but as atheists, we're really going to have to check out exactly what's involved.

This is our town to a T.

But the next town over (in the same county) has the county program, which is cheap, extremely high quality (fully licensed teachers, unlike the churches who hire anyone) and meets our needs perfectly.  Oh, and our school district provides free bussing! 

So definitely ask around. 

[justajane]

My older son, who will be 4 next week, is in free preschool five half-days a week at the public school because he has an IEP.

My son is in preschool and has an IEP for speech. Now I am really intrigued if we are eligible for a discount or free preschool. I looked at our school district's webpage and couldn't find any information. I wonder how widespread this phenomenon is? I don't want to necessarily call the school directly and make it sound like we are looking for a handout (because we can technically afford the cost), but man I would love to not pay it!

[greaper007]

I'm a sahd also.   Both my kids did pre-school.

-If your husband is like me, it's hard to get the same social interactions when you don't fit in with the mom groups.

-It's good for kids to get out of the house and interact without their parents.  They're learning soft skills like negotiating and interacting with different types of people early.   That's way more important than math or reading at this age.

-I now have 9 hours a week to get things done, that's huge.   I do our grocery shopping one day, might do a house project another day and hit the gym or run on the other day.   

If you guys can afford it I'd say definitely do it.    Also, tour a few pre-schools.   Each one is different and it's good to find one that you guys can fit in with.    There's some hippy schools that trade higher tuition for parent's volunteer time.    That could be an option if the cost is a concern.

[Emilyngh]

Our challenge will be finding a program that meets our needs.   There is a Montessori program, but at almost $500 a month, I can't stomach it.   The other options are all church programs.   Which are super inexpensive, but as atheists, we're really going to have to check out exactly what's involved.

This is our town to a T.

But the next town over (in the same county) has the county program, which is cheap, extremely high quality (fully licensed teachers, unlike the churches who hire anyone) and meets our needs perfectly.  Oh, and our school district provides free bussing! 

So definitely ask around.

I actually spent several hours last night looking into the issue (prompted by this discussion) and while the towns around us offered nothing but more of the same, I found a program right in our area that is a 100% outside (literally outside playing/crafting etc for the whole time, regardless of weather) preschool that's held on a farm!   

We're going to look into it more, but what I found online looks awesome (all play-based stuff, nature walks, baby animals, playing in the mud, etc) and while more expensive than the church ones, it's in what I'd consider a reasonable price range for two mornings or afternoons a week.

[1967mama]

Interesting perspective from Mr. Money Mustache himself can be found here:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/12/avoiding-ivy-league-preschool-syndrome/

[MayDay]

My older son, who will be 4 next week, is in free preschool five half-days a week at the public school because he has an IEP.

My son is in preschool and has an IEP for speech. Now I am really intrigued if we are eligible for a discount or free preschool. I looked at our school district's webpage and couldn't find any information. I wonder how widespread this phenomenon is? I don't want to necessarily call the school directly and make it sound like we are looking for a handout (because we can technically afford the cost), but man I would love to not pay it!

My son got free preschool as part of his iep.

In both districts we've lived in, speech only kids just get speech, but if you have two or more issues you get free preschool. So if he's borderline for needing OT, PT, or social skills help, you may get free preschool if you press for that second disability to be included in the iep.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

My understanding is that at least the speech therapy is an entitlement. At our old home in Pennsylvania, they just came to his day care once a week. DPS does the free. However, most of their four-year-old programs are full-day and NOT free even for IEP, so I am scrambling. Big Brother needs only speech and actually as mostly caught up.

[justajane]

My older son, who will be 4 next week, is in free preschool five half-days a week at the public school because he has an IEP.

My son is in preschool and has an IEP for speech. Now I am really intrigued if we are eligible for a discount or free preschool. I looked at our school district's webpage and couldn't find any information. I wonder how widespread this phenomenon is? I don't want to necessarily call the school directly and make it sound like we are looking for a handout (because we can technically afford the cost), but man I would love to not pay it!

My son got free preschool as part of his iep.

In both districts we've lived in, speech only kids just get speech, but if you have two or more issues you get free preschool. So if he's borderline for needing OT, PT, or social skills help, you may get free preschool if you press for that second disability to be included in the iep.

Thanks for the information! He just has pronunciation issues, not even delays or vocab problems. It makes sense that such a minor issues wouldn't qualify. We qualified for the IEP solely based on two sounds that he should have mastered by four. He sees the speech therapist in a group for an hour a week.

I just heard in our local paper that our district is going to put a $6 million bond on this spring's ballot to build a new preschool. We are bursting at the seams, but I imagine increasing taxes for preschool might be a hard sell. The new building would relieve congestion at the elementary school as well, but it's nonetheless hard to convince people that it is necessary.

[greaper007]

My understanding is that at least the speech therapy is an entitlement. At our old home in Pennsylvania, they just came to his day care once a week. DPS does the free. However, most of their four-year-old programs are full-day and NOT free even for IEP, so I am scrambling. Big Brother needs only speech and actually as mostly caught up.

I had free speech therapy from our local public school from the age of 3 or 4 until the end of kindergarten.    This was in Texas, not exactly a progressive state known for education.     

Do it while they're young, speech issues just get worse and more engrained with time.    Mine were cleared up completely by first grade.

[FIRE Realtor]

That sounds like a lot for preschool!  We live in Minneapolis, and even the super nice preschool here is only $225 for 3 mornings/wk. 

We do send our 3 year old, to a cheaper option through the parks and rec system, (and even cheaper for us because our income is so low!).  She loves it, but I love it even more, especially having a newborn this fall. 

But, if your husband stays at home and doesn't mind doing activities with your kid, you could definitely put it off until next year. 

[Gray Matter]

My older son, who will be 4 next week, is in free preschool five half-days a week at the public school because he has an IEP.

My son is in preschool and has an IEP for speech. Now I am really intrigued if we are eligible for a discount or free preschool. I looked at our school district's webpage and couldn't find any information. I wonder how widespread this phenomenon is? I don't want to necessarily call the school directly and make it sound like we are looking for a handout (because we can technically afford the cost), but man I would love to not pay it!

Definitely check on this.  My daughter, at age 3, had an IEP for speech and our school district offered a free, five half-days-a-week, door-to-door busing for her (picked her up at our house in the morning, dropped her off at daycare at noon).  It was amazing--two teachers/speech therapists with only five or six kids.  Plus, our school district offers a (free to everyone) Pre-K year, five half-days a week, with free busing.  It was awesome, and I'm sad I only learned about it with my third child.

[justajane]

He doesn't have any issues that would necessitate an IEP, and even if there was something I could find, I think I'd rather leave those resources for others.

You mean you would seek out private treatment? Because parents need to address issues if they exist. I guess I'm a little sensitive to this kind of thing. At three, I would have never thought that my son needed to be in the Special School District program, but by four, it was pretty obvious that others couldn't understand him. And this is not necessarily therapy that can easily be replicated at home. The woman who sees him understands the mechanics of the mouth in a way that I could never without a degree and the extensive training she has received. Even "minor" speech problems can significantly affect a child. It can lead to teasing, social problems, not to mention academic delays. My son qualified based on two sounds he can't pronounce, but they are two sounds that are in thousands upon thousands of words. Hence why people can't understand him.

I don't think any of us are angling to take services away from others - just availing ourselves of programs that exist for everyone. At least in my district, it's a pretty stringent qualification process, in large part because funding is tight. They deny plenty of applicants, which implies to me if a kid qualifies he or she really needs it. 

[justajane]

I have some indirect experience with IEPs, as my brother had one for multiple issues growing up, and what I saw was too many kids who needed help and not enough help to go around. Maybe it's different now, or different in different places, but I think that if I were in that situation I would explore private treatment if only to leave more funding available for others with fewer options.

It probably greatly depends on the district. We are in a disadvantaged one (50% assisted lunch), but I've never gotten the sense that we are understaffed. Having said that, I am not fully abreast of the situation. We also are in a situation in which there are separate school districts that are part of a county Special School District. So if an individual school district cannot adequately service a child, they are sent to a different school better equipped.

[MayDay]

Merula, are you aware that St. Paul has free 4 year old preschool at some elementary schools?  Most of my friends in St. Paul used those programs, and either were willing to bite the bullet for 3 year old preschool since it was only for a year, or sent their kids to 4 year old preschool only.

Most of my St. Paul friends used Dodge Nature Center preschool.  They have a highly regarded elementary school as well (I think you can open enroll in- it may actually be in WSP).  There are some good options in Roseville as well, and I think somewhere in St. Paul but near Roseville there is a parent co-op preschool that is fairly cheap.  U of MN has a lab preschool that is great.  I don't know its cost.  Several friends sent their "normal" kids to free preschool as peer models for special needs kids.  The elementary school in Mpls that is right near U of MN Mpls campus (its name is escaping me) has this program.  That might work if you are in the midway area. 

Big city so its hard to know where exactly you are looking. 

My advice is to join some St. Paul area FB groups and ask where people send their kids, and how much it costs. 

[joehenderson]

As a preschool teacher I do advocate sending kids to preschool as it helps them in different ways. Early school skills, socialization, learning important coordination, working on the emotional quotient and also picking up the basic learning skills. However, I think homeschooling the toddlers is not bad either. There are a number of excellent educational resources available these days on the internet like those activities, games, free worksheets that even come on different subjects and grade based. I use some of the language and math-games for my little one like this one here - http://www.jumpstart.com/parents/games/math-games, as they are really easy and entertaining, too. So, if you want to give homeschooling a try, I suggest you do it instead of sending your kid to a preschool if budget is a constraint.

[mm1970]

I am pro preschool. 

My 8 year old had 2 years of preschool from age 3.5 to 5.5.

My 2.5 year old will probably have one year, maybe 1.5 years?

I dunno yet, but my daycare bill just went up $70 a week, so there is incentive to look sooner rather than later.  So maybe 1.5 years.

[LiveLean]

Two years of preschool is a modern phenomenon driven by fewer stay-at-home parents and daycare.

Heck, I'm young enough (45) to remember when not everyone even went to kindergarten.

One thing people don't often consider is the age for starting school has been pushed back. It used to be Jan. 1 in most parts of the USA. Now it's almost universally Sept. 1.

Thus, if you had a birthday from Sept. 1 through Dec.31 a generation ago, you started kindergarten at 4 and graduated high school at 17. Both my parents, one of my sisters, and I all fell into this category. These days, the kids born from Sept. 1 through Dec. 31 are the oldest in their classes and graduate at 18 1/2. Thus many of today's five-year-olds are in their second year of pre-school when a generation ago they would have been in kindergarten.

So in a weird way it all makes sense, a sign of the times. When you let kids stay on parental health insurance until 26, you're extending childhood further out at all points.

[Jacana]

Our 2.5 yo was in an amazing preschool setup in our old town, ~$200/mo for 2 mornings a week (3 hours) at a full daycare/preschool location (secular). In the DC metro area too, so that is incredibly good. She loved it and it taught her skills she was lacking as an only child. Plus it let me get a lot done as my husband worked looong hours with a ridiculous commute and traveled quite a lot for work for 1-2 weeks at a time.

We moved for my husbands new job in December, and in this new town the prices for 3 mornings of 3 hours each were 600-900 a month!! Absolutely ridiculous. A few church programs were ~200 a month for just 2 hours 2 days a week plus I am against a church setting for her as I am atheist.

Finally I found a program at the local community college that is amazing! They do full daycare/preschool or any number of flexible part-time options for working parents, faculty, and students. Students get a discount rate but all are welcome. We chose 2 full days a week up to 12 hours of care each day for $450/mo for now and then we can drop down to just mornings later when things settle. Another option to look into!

[Goldielocks]

Tough choices...  but I don't think you could make a wrong choice here, other than no preschool at all before kindergarten (I am a big proponent of preschool)

Due to age cut-offs my DD only qualified for one year of preschool at age 4.   No problems. 
My DS was in preschool for the 2 years.  No problems (other than the more expensive "private" style school did not suit him as well because they started reading with the whole group too soon, were quite structured and he was not ready to read yet at 4 y.o.,).

Community Parent participation preschool here is $90 per month for 2 1/2 days a week, for the 3-4 y.o, and $120 per month for 3 half days per week (for the 4 y.o.)  that is plenty of preschool time, the rest of the time would really just be daycare.   It is cost reduced as parents had to be the third helper volunteer in the room and set up / take down and do a lot of PAC type activities.

So ask yourself if you can do just 2 or 3 days per week and get that $300 cost down.  Look for co-op and community based programs (the ones here hire professional teachers but have only 1 paid helper and volunteer parents)

ALSO as others have noted:
 A 3 y.o. does not need much, and those nearly free mom and tot social mornings at the recreation centre gym or local church are actually very, very good!