Author Topic: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids  (Read 13524 times)

hunniebun

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Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« on: April 11, 2015, 10:11:35 PM »
I was thinking about MMMs post from a few weeks back as I was tidying up the house before bed tonight. My 2 year daughter has 23 stuffies in her room, ranging from huge, bigger than she is to tiny beanie babies.  Gross.  And that doesn't even include the baby dolls, disney dolls or barbies littered across the playroom downstairs.  My son has 47 t-shirts hanging in his closet and I actually had to buy more hangers.  47!!!! WTF?  He is 6!!!!!!  I could stop laundry for a month and half he would never have to wear the same shirt twice.  He also has 25 lego sets on his shelf at an average of 30-50 or more per set...that is almost 1500$ in LEGO!!!!!!!  This is by far not all me (add christmas/birthday gifts from a large and well meaning family)...but seriously.  I guess t-shirts and stuffies are a generally low cost, well received gift...but this is just crazy.  When does it end?!?!?   I feel like I am constantly purging/selling/donating and we still have an insane amount of everything. I can't even think of something we have just one of....each kid even as two toothbrushes...one spinny one regular.  Ridicilousness is rampant in the house.  I have no point...am just feeling disgusted at the consumer blackhole our home appears to be right now.   I wish I could wave a magic wand and have all the crap turn into the cold hard cash that myself and others parted with :)   

hunniebun

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2015, 10:14:04 PM »
...wouldn't that make for an interesting experiment.  Offer people two rooms...one fully decorated furnished with a bunch of fancypants crap that we all think we want...or one with bare bones second hand furniture and piles of money amounting the other rooms fancy decor instead!?!?  I know which one I would pick!

chouchouu

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2015, 11:53:58 PM »
Yeah I've now learnt I no longer need to buy things for my kids. They will just turn up. I initially bought them two basic lego sets, thinking its a nice practical toy. Yet they now have eight sets from from gifts. Anyhow I keep a few gifts from friends but regift or donate the rest. My kids are only three so not sure how long I can get away with it.

FrenchMustache

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2015, 01:09:37 AM »
It's very easy to change thing around, just tell people not to bring gifts anymore! Really they will get used to that. At birthday parties i always ask the guests to bring food, no gifts. If we do get gifts i thanks them but dont open the packaging so that i can re gift them. The guest bring food and drinks so they will still feel like they gave a gift, and you dont have to prepare food for the party, it's a winwin! Also i have tood everyone that i love second hand stuff because it is already out there and not produced just for me, so if they want to bring a gift they can buy a second hand one. Just keep preaching all this, and it people will slowly shift and stop bringing stuff, also the children will stop getting used to get stuff all the time. My oldest is 5 and doesnt mind when people dont bring her gifsts on her birthdayparty.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2015, 12:33:38 PM »
I'm curious--how much of that stuff did you purchase vs. receive as gifts?

I think stuffed animals are about the worst toy ever invented.  I swear those things multiply while we sleep.  They're practically useless, people seem to think they make good gifts, and they take up tons of room.

Geostache

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2015, 12:52:23 PM »
Ugh. Tell me about it. My twins are 2, and the stuff keeps multiplying, mainly at the hands of grandparents. My MIL thinks if 1 of something is good, then 10-15 (no kidding, she literally buys 10-15 of the same thing) must be better! It doesn't help that DH and I don't see eye to eye on this either. My opinion is that they're 2, and they don't need a lot of stuff. He thinks more along the lines of his mother (go figure). All I can do, since they're small, is argue that they've either outgrown it or it's not developmentally appropriate for them at this age. I shudder to think how the stuff is going to expand as they get older and I can no longer make that argument.

I think we've purchased 3 or 4 toys for them over their lives. The rest just finds its way into our house from well-meaning family and friends.

justajane

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2015, 01:01:11 PM »
What drives me up the wall is how often grandparents will complain about "kids just don't know how lucky they have it" and how "they just have to many toys." Yet, if I look around my house, the vast majority of toys and things we own were given to us by the same grandparents who complain about how spoiled their grandkids are! I've started calling them on the hypocrisy. It doesn't make them stop buying stuff, but I least it gives me a sense of satisfaction to call a spade a spade.

1967mama

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2015, 01:14:17 PM »
@hunniebun, Sadly, my kids have comparable amounts of stuff to your kids:-(

Recently, for my son's 10th birthday, we let him pick out a few superheroes that he wanted at a store that sells them second hand! I was thrilled to find this place, and they also buy back toys and you can either have the cash or in-store credit. Great for kids outgrowing toys. This was one of the first times that I really put the brakes on the toy spending and it felt reallllly good!

I find that my kids get really attached to toys, and so I'm careful to purge their rooms with them so that we can make decisions where they won't be heartbroken later. Multiple passes seem necessary, a few weeks apart, to get the room de-cluttered down to where I like it.

Frida

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2015, 07:30:05 PM »
We are also inundated with toys (especially stuffed animals) despite constantly asking for no gifts and rarely buying our two anything ourselves. The grandparents are the worst offenders too, especially my MIL. I hate to seem ungrateful but the sheer quantity of stuff is just ridiculous, and it is a constant battle.

Here's an example: my son's preschool had a Christmas fair this year which both grandmas came along to. Before we set off for the fair, I told them both that there was going to be a cuddly toy tombola where the prizes were secondhand donations from the parents, and that I didn't want anyone to point it out to my son and encourage him to have a go as he never plays with stuffed toys and already has a huge collection (we had donated some to the tombola, in fact). Fine if he asks to have a go, but please don't encourage him if he hasn't spotted it.

Anyway, the first thing my son asks is to have a go at the tombola, ok fair enough, he's only 3, all the other kids are having a go and the teachers have been encouraging them so very hard to say no. He gets a teddy he's very happy with (and actually is quite attached to now) and we move on to another activity.

About 10 mins later my MIL comes over carrying 5 more stuffed animals... she had gone back to the tombola and won them all for him and was excited to show him. I stopped her and politely reminded her what I'd said, that he was happy with the one he'd won himself and we couldn't possibly take them all home. Her face fell and she said "what am I going to do with these" so I suggested her other grandchildren might like them for Christmas but she didn't want to do that. She then asked if he could swap his bear for one of the ones she had won (wtf?!) but I said no, he's happy with that one, part of the fun is winning it himself, etc. She ended up giving them all back to the tombola stall!

We still laugh about that one! Gives you some idea of the battle we are facing. And my son's old enough now that it's becoming very difficult to regift anything.

hunniebun

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2015, 08:41:29 AM »
I'm curious--how much of that stuff did you purchase vs. receive as gifts?

I think stuffed animals are about the worst toy ever invented.  I swear those things multiply while we sleep.  They're practically useless, people seem to think they make good gifts, and they take up tons of room.

I'd be lying if I didn't fess up to the fact that a good portion was my doing (pre MMM awakening of the fall of 2014).  But a huge portion is also gifts. Neither grandparents can show up at our house empty handed. It is always with a 'little something'.  And it just so happens that t-shirts and stuffies are in that 10$ price point of a little something.  I am in the process of a garage sale purge for selling in May. Thankfully my kids aren't overly attached to much and when I tell them they can have the money from what they sell...they are prepared to clean their rooms right out! LOL!

Fodder

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2015, 12:11:48 PM »
It is pretty ridiculous.

We have SO MUCH kids' stuff and I'm pretty sure I purchased only a small fraction of it.  Every occasion (and even non-occasion), grandparents and other people come armed with gifts....things the kids don't need.  Things my house doesn't need, and that end up in the pit of despair I call a playroom, which is currently wall-to-wall with toys that are hardly played with.  I purge all the time, but I swear it multiplies.

This is what I do to try to avoid contributing to clutter:
- no-gift birthday parties (I'm fine with my daughter having her class over to run around and play, but she does NOT need 20 new plastic sets of trinkets....and she knows this)
- when we go to birthday parties, I give gift certificates for experiences (local playplaces, museums, etc.), or a consumable gift (paint, chalk, art supplies, etc.).

I would love it if instead of giving my kids gifts, people might consider just spending time with them.  It doesn't have to cost money, but taking them on a bike date to the park, or for a canoe ride or something like that.....the kids would love it and it would give them great experiences and memories, keep my house clutter-free, and keep everyone's wallet fuller.  :D

irishbear99

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2015, 05:58:56 PM »
No kids here, but my brother and SIL have the same problem with my nephews. And, as others have said, the grandparents are the worst offenders. My husband and I buy one gift per nephew per event (bday, holidays). Last Christmas I suggested to my husband that we send a check to their parents for the boys' 529 plans instead of buying gifts. I haven't convinced him yet because, "That's not fun for them." But honestly, it's disheartening to see that one gift we buy get lost in a pile of 20 that one set of grandparents went out and bought. I don't even think the boys would notice that they didn't get a tangible object from their aunt/uncle because of the excess elsewhere.

formerlydivorcedmom

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2015, 07:52:07 PM »
When we go to birthday parties, etc, I give books instead of toys.

My kids have a ton of stuff (boxes of toy cars), but I didn't buy most of it.  Grandparents go nuts, and now that the kids have allowance, they save to buy toys too.  The stuffed animals are neglected with two of my kids, but the youngest LOVES his.  He plays with all of them, and they take turns being his buddy for the day.

hunniebun

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2015, 07:52:44 AM »
Books ARE wonderful...but the are another things that gets completely out of hand. Each of my kids has about 80 books on a shelf in their rooms and another 200 at least stored in rubber made boxes in a closet.  That is absurd. We could go pretty much a whole year without reading the same book twice.    Again...this is a gift that we receive almost weekly from grandparents because it is small /inexpensive and a book is educational, right?   At Easter, my kids each got about 20 books!  Because relative all want to get the kids a 'little something', so we added 6 t-shirts, 4 stuffies and about 20 books, plus two extra large ziplock bags of candy and chocolate (which I took to work).  It is all just too much.  The part the gets me the most is that most of our relatives (with the exception of my parents) only see our kids on holidays despite living less than 20 minutes away. It is almost like all the other grand parents, aunts uncles cousins etc. buys this crap because they feel badly that they don't see the kids...yet make no effort to see them or spend time with them. I guess that is just the world we live in now. My kids would be over the moon if an aunt or uncle picked them up and took them to the park for an hour.  It is so sad that this happens rarely to never. 

nereo

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2015, 08:08:01 AM »
When we go to birthday parties, etc, I give books instead of toys.
Oh boy.. books.  I love books.  I love the feel of them, I love sitting on the couch with a blanket on a rainy day and just falling into a good book.  But I've come to think that owning books is one of the most absurd consumerism habits we have now.  They are heavy, they use up resources to produce, they require shelving to store, and in most cases they are used for just 5-15 hours before they sit motionless in our homes for decades. During my last move we estimated that about half the weight of all our possessions were books, and they took up 14 boxes.  Ironically, almost all the books we buy are available free from libraries, where they are used more frequently and stored for free. eReaders are another option (though they come with their own environmental costs, and while much improved don't have the same 'feel' to them).

I know many will disagree - mostly i'm just writing my thoughts out here.  But I've stopped asking for books and I the only books I give are second-hand ones that are particularly meaningful and not readily available at the local library.

justajane

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2015, 08:34:37 AM »
I tend to agree about books, but for the first time in our kids' lives we are buying lots of books. Why? My eldest (age six) has started to read voraciously. We do use the library, but with used books prices so low and the reality of library fines, sometimes we opt just to pay $1 for a chapter book. Yeah, yeah, I should return my books on time, but shit happens, you know? Books get lodged between the bed and the wall and disappear. These books in paperback form are extremely light and take up very little space on a shelf.

Board books and hardback story books are a different matter. I regularly give those away. But paperback Scholastic books are awesome and pretty reasonable when you buy them through the school.

I figure if I own 25 Magic Tree House books that I paid $25 for, I have three kids that will read them over the next decade. And then they're gone from my house.

nereo

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #16 on: April 21, 2015, 08:56:26 AM »
I tend to agree about books, but for the first time in our kids' lives we are buying lots of books. Why? My eldest (age six) has started to read voraciously. We do use the library, but with used books prices so low and the reality of library fines, sometimes we opt just to pay $1 for a chapter book. Yeah, yeah, I should return my books on time, but shit happens, you know? Books get lodged between the bed and the wall and disappear. These books in paperback form are extremely light and take up very little space on a shelf.

/quote]
glad to hear your eldest has become a voracious reader - I'd do whatever you can to encourage that, including buying books ;-) My comments were more about our propensity to accumulate books until we have overflowing bookshelves in every bedroom and more in the common rooms.  From the time I was an early teenager I was buying 2-4 books a month, plus getting more as gifts and lots for my college classes.  Recently I ruthlessly downsized my collection from over 1,000 to about a hundred or so I just couldn't part with.  Suddenly I needed only one book shelf and now I have more floorspace :-)

No 'solutions' for small kids, but maybe a "one-in-one-out" book policy. Each kids gets a shelf (~30 books) and unlimited library rentals, but if they buy/receive a new one they have to donate one of their other books to a used book-store.  NOt sure how this would work with small kids (we don't have any of our own yet) but this is basically my self-implemented policy.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #17 on: April 21, 2015, 07:35:53 PM »
(sorry for the bad pic)  Here's our current library:

Board books and little kids books on the bottom
Dr. Seuss, Berenstein Bears, Little Critter, Clifford, and similar-level books on the next shelf up
Magic Treehouse, A-Z Mysteries, Boxcar Children, etc on the third shelf
Beverly Cleary and such on shelf 4
Harry Potter, Peter and the Starcatchers, Percy Jackson, etc on shelf 5
and more grown-up books on shelf 5.  Non-fiction in the right-hand book case.

There's one shelf of Childcraft books that my parents handed down to us.  I read them as a kid, and our kids love 'em too.  Of course, we have 6 kids, and they LOVE to read, so it's uncommon that a book leaves our home before it gets totally worn to shreds.

nereo

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2015, 06:46:02 AM »
(sorry for the bad pic)  Here's our current library:

Board books and little kids books on the bottom
Dr. Seuss, Berenstein Bears, Little Critter, Clifford, and similar-level books on the next shelf up
Magic Treehouse, A-Z Mysteries, Boxcar Children, etc on the third shelf
Beverly Cleary and such on shelf 4
Harry Potter, Peter and the Starcatchers, Percy Jackson, etc on shelf 5
and more grown-up books on shelf 5.  Non-fiction in the right-hand book case.
Lol - looks a LOT like my bookcases in my previous house, right down to the rounded molding and the 4-by design.  LOVED the boxcar children growing up, glad kids are still reading those.  So glad to see other parents encourage reading.

MayDay

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #19 on: April 22, 2015, 08:23:44 AM »
Books.  Yes.  TOO MANY BOOKS. 

I actually dislike the cheap scholastic books.  They fall apart very quickly.  They are the epitome of our disposable culture in book form. 

We have several relatives who love giving books, and I guess book gifts are better than plastic junk toy gifts, but still, I wish is was socially appropriate to scream "just put the 10$ in a savings account for heavens sake!". 

At this point my kids are 5 and 7.  We realllllllllly don't need anymore picture books.  They like the short easy chapter books, which are almost never worth reading more than once.  I don't need to own a ton of books that they will developmentally pass by in a blink. 

And yes we do pay the occasional library fine, but even including accidently losing a few books for weeks at a time, we've yet to come anywhere close to the cost of buying new books.  Which is why I still have a 20$ Barnes and noble GC sitting in my wallet.  Plus, there is a huge value to not having a giant bookcase like Zoloti posted!  That picture is giving me hives. 

But I just keep telling myself, it's better than the toys! 

justajane

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #20 on: April 22, 2015, 09:06:24 AM »
I actually dislike the cheap scholastic books.  They fall apart very quickly.  They are the epitome of our disposable culture in book form. 

Maybe, but I'd rather spend $2 on a flimsy paperback that all my kids enjoy and then gets recycled at the end or donated if it is still intact than spend $10 on a hardback that will likely still get damaged in some way over its use. 

I guess I don't have a problem with planned obsolescence when it comes to paperbacks. Not everything needs to be an heirloom.

The biggest perk of having book clutter is that it takes up less space then toys. 


MayDay

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #21 on: April 22, 2015, 04:26:52 PM »
I thought of another. 

I recently went through and got out DS's summer clothes.  He has been in size S t shirts for a couple years, and will move to M sometime soon.  In my tub of bigger/extra clothes, I have an entire wardrobe of size medium shirts ready to go.  My mom and MIL buy clothes no matter how many times I tell them we have enough.  That is *with* me returning everything we have been gifted in the last year and getting socks/underwear/etc instead. 

EVERYONE PLEASE STOP BUYING MY KID CLOTHES UNLESS YOU ASK FIRST!


nereo

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #22 on: April 23, 2015, 05:53:47 AM »

EVERYONE PLEASE STOP BUYING MY KID CLOTHES UNLESS YOU ASK FIRST!
Message received.  MayDay, I promise not to buy your kids any more clothes.
~ Nereo

formerlydivorcedmom

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #23 on: April 24, 2015, 01:43:05 PM »
We have 6 bookshelves crammed full of books (and that's after I purged about 1/3 of our stock when we moved last year).  We're trying to go to the library more often and buy fewer ourselves (and much of what we do buy now comes from the user bookstore).  My kids and I are voracious readers, though, and we do read books over and over and over.

When I was a kid, I spent almost all of my allowance on books, and I crammed them in every corner where they would fit.  At one point, I had over 1,000 books in my room (and if asked for any particular book I would be able to find it).  I was 15 when my town opened it's very first library.  I donated just about all of my collection.  On opening day, the kids' section of the new library was essentially all mine.  I was never charged a library fine, ever, because the librarian said I'd already done my part.

Now, when the kids (or I) outgrow or tire of a book, we donate it to a day care, to the teacher's classroom library, the Friends of the Library book sale, etc.  At the very least, I can classify some of this as charitable giving in my own head, which helps me not feel so badly about it.

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #24 on: May 05, 2015, 09:50:08 AM »
Oh yup. We regularly purge, especially BEFORE Christmas.

My parents have 20 grandkids, so they're never going to give the kids all that much. My in-laws only have 4, three of which are mine. Gifting is their love language. Christmas is bad because they insist on wrapping (and shipping, in years we don't come during the holidays) all the presents. They do (sort of) listen to what the kids might actually need, but the quantity far exceeds what is needed.

Birthdays are better. They usually send us a check and let us (me) pick it out. The last few I have spent well under the amount sent and no one complained. Whatever's left goes straight into the kids' investment accounts. In just two years of saving $ from excess gifts and our small allowances to them, each kid has $500+ invested.

justajane

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2015, 09:58:41 AM »
True confession: I just had a MAJOR freakout today about the amount of kid-related stuff (ahem junk) in our house. These freakouts tend to fall during two times of year: Christmas and the month of May. All three of our kids have birthdays in May, which is why I usually lose it then, because so much more junk ends up in our house.

There might have been scissors and one of those inflatable punching fists involved. The kids weren't around for my angry stabbing fit ("Mommy what happened to my punchy thingie?" "Um, it broke and I had to throw it away.")

On that note: what's up with all the inflatable shit we've been given in the last few years - inflatable guitars, fists, etc. etc.? Just last week my two older boys got these inflatable sumo things from a relative. They are ENORMOUS when inflated. I guess the well meaning gift giver doesn't think about the size they will become once you inflate them.

I wish people would find another way to express their love that didn't revolve around things.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2015, 11:25:57 AM »
@thegoblinchief--my parents had 9 kids, and have 43 (I think.  I have to recalculate every time I think about it) grandkids.  Although my mother's love language is gifts, even she has recognized that it's no longer practical.  So now they send money.  And it works great!  My parents get the satisfaction from giving, our kids get precisely the gifts they need, and we don't end up with extra clutter or the extra expense of shipping gifts.

I'm amazed at how much stuff nowadays is poorly made, use-it-for-a-while-and-throw-it-away junk.  Stuffed animals.  Party favors.  Cheap furniture.  Toys.  Appliances.  Electronics.  Heck, even automobiles and major appliances like washers and dryers. And don't get me started on the whole fashion industry. 

Bob W

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2015, 11:31:11 AM »
I'm guilty as shit!     Our 7 year old's room, closet and an extra room in the basement if packed full of kid's crap.   Ironically,  he rarely uses it and much prefers watching Minecraft videos on Youtube.   

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #28 on: May 18, 2015, 11:38:55 AM »
I'm amazed at how much stuff nowadays is poorly made, use-it-for-a-while-and-throw-it-away junk.
Death to Oriental Trading Company. Every time I turn around, my kid has gotten some shitty piece of plastic as a party favor, a reward for good behavior at school, or just because someone somewhere bought 4000 little trinkets and now has to find someone else's life to ruin with them.

Toys are poorly made, too. And clothes. And everything. But it's the crappy little plastic stuff that Just. Won't. Stop!

Meantime, it raises expectations that they will always get something, that there's a material reward for every action, every day. We fight it with our own attitudes and refusal to buy crap, but it's an uphill battle against the endless cavalcade of garbage.

justajane

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #29 on: May 18, 2015, 12:00:47 PM »
Death to Oriental Trading Company.

Amen. I believe I just threw away several things from there during my freakout/ rampage. It just never stops coming into the house, and even "good" things like kites, pencils, and other items just get out of hand. At the moment, we have around four unopened kites and 20+ as yet unsharpened pencils (that were rewards and party favor gifts). My mom recently said she likes to give kids things like temporary tattoos because they don't add to the clutter in our house, but I had to inform her that we have at least 100 tattoos that we haven't used yet. I mean their bodies can only hold so many tattoos! Once in a blue moon, we'll cover a boy's chest and/or arms and turn them into a biker boy just to get rid of a bunch, but somehow our stock of them keeps on getting replenished.

My third boy just turned one, and despite the no gifts suggestion we still got things from family, including bath toys, things that light up, and clothes (oy!). I just don't get it. I look at all those things and just cringe at the amount of money wasted. I seriously took one of the bath toys and added it to the Goodwill pile still in the packaging. My kids prefer to play with cups in the bath anyway, and once it's unopened and released into our small home, I spend the next 6 months putting it back in its bin. But if you inform them of this and how you will likely give it away, you look and sound like an ungrateful shit. I'd rather just politely say thanks and give it away later. I used to try to return things, but that become too stressful and complicated.

Blonde Lawyer

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #30 on: May 18, 2015, 03:35:21 PM »
I don't have kids but I'm a volunteer at an animal shelter.  The latest trend is kids requesting donations for the animals at the shelter in lieu of toys for their party.  The parents have informed me that this is the only way family will follow the "no gift" rule.  The kid gets the fun of unwrapping bags of dog food and boxes of kitty litter.  The shelter gets to keep the "stuff" and mom and dad just have to deal with throwing out wrapping paper and bringing the stuff to the shelter.  Plus the kid gets told how generous he is and gets his picture on Facebook with all the donations and all that fun stuff.  Something to consider.

justajane

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #31 on: May 18, 2015, 03:41:29 PM »
I don't have kids but I'm a volunteer at an animal shelter.  The latest trend is kids requesting donations for the animals at the shelter in lieu of toys for their party.  The parents have informed me that this is the only way family will follow the "no gift" rule.  The kid gets the fun of unwrapping bags of dog food and boxes of kitty litter.  The shelter gets to keep the "stuff" and mom and dad just have to deal with throwing out wrapping paper and bringing the stuff to the shelter.  Plus the kid gets told how generous he is and gets his picture on Facebook with all the donations and all that fun stuff.  Something to consider.

We did this for my son's first birthday, but instead we set up a donation page with an African charity. Our friends donated in lieu of gifts, but the family members did not. I still count it a success, though. We matched all the donations, and all told, with their donations, our match, and my husband's company match, we will have raised almost $500. Pretty cool!

cbgg

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #32 on: May 18, 2015, 05:09:22 PM »
At birthday parties i always ask the guests to bring food, no gifts. ...The guest bring food and drinks so they will still feel like they gave a gift, and you dont have to prepare food for the party, it's a winwin!

Love this idea!

GatewayTwo

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #33 on: June 09, 2015, 02:26:27 PM »
From what I can tell with my own kids, toys are apparently a complete waste of time.  Grandparents (endlessly) give a giant avalanche of stuff that either gets broken or set aside, and we find the kids playing with pasta-boxes and paper-towel tubes they took out of the recycling and cardboard boxes that I bring home from work.

One of these days I'm going to have to repave the driveway, and it will be like a holiday at our house.  I bet they'll spend HOURS watching the heavy equipment out their bedroom window.  I think I'll try to get my parents to give the kids a new driveway for their birthday.  (I have no illusions that this will work.)

justajane

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #34 on: June 09, 2015, 07:30:53 PM »
One of these days I'm going to have to repave the driveway, and it will be like a holiday at our house.  I bet they'll spend HOURS watching the heavy equipment out their bedroom window.  I think I'll try to get my parents to give the kids a new driveway for their birthday.  (I have no illusions that this will work.)

Here's one of my kids watching them dig a basement on my neighbor's house a few years ago. Hours and hours of fun.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #35 on: June 10, 2015, 07:21:00 AM »
My brother, who has 8 kids, had a brilliant idea for a Christmas gift for his kids last year.  They rarely eat out, and soda is rare.  For Christmas, he gave each kid their own 2-liter bottle of soda.  In his words, "best. gift. ever."  Didn't clutter up the house, the kids were ecstatic, and when it was finished, the bottles were recycled!

You can get moving boxes at Lowe's for something like $2.50 for a large box.  Cheap, tons of entertainment value, and recyclable.

GatewayTwo

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #36 on: June 10, 2015, 11:17:02 AM »
We actually use the apple boxes from our local orchard.  We buy several bushels of seconds every year to make applesauce, and the boxes are kid-sized and have a lid. 

Mrs. GatewayTwo actually got a really cute movie of our son popping in and out of a box going "I'm an Apples!"

iris lily

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #37 on: June 10, 2015, 12:23:11 PM »
I live in an urban core and regularly drive past poor neighborhoods in which the cheap crap from China toays are spread all over. Even kids with nothings have too much plastic.

Merrie

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #38 on: August 03, 2015, 10:45:18 AM »
My kids are the only grandkids on my side, and likely to remain so. There is only one other grandkid on my husband's side, and likely to remain so. Neither family is all that materialistic, but they still do get a lot of stuff. We tried a no-gift birthday and everyone brought gifts anyway. I have one friend who is a compulsive shopper and has two sons, so despite the fact that she's broke as a joke she's bought a few really stupid girly toys for my daughter. I've managed to divert a fair amount of great-grandma spending to clothes; I tell them a size or two ahead of where the kids are at present, and then put it away until needed. But really I buy most of their clothes at rummage sales. Apart from that I also try to steer them towards lasting items that can be used in creative ways, but really you only need so much of that too. I wish everyone would just contribute to their college funds.

Helvegen

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #39 on: August 04, 2015, 10:51:06 AM »
My kid has a lot of clothes. The main reasons are:

1) She is extremely hard on them. I don't know what she does when we are gone at work. Do they take them on mud runs? Make them do heavy construction work? Jeans don't last one week before they have a bunch of holes in the knees and stained from who knows what.

2) She gives weeds a run for their growing money, so buying for quality isn't going to make any real difference - she sizes out of things too fast! I thought it was bad when she was an infant, but she has to be closing on 5ft (if not there already!) and she is NINE. She is easily one of the tallest for her age and it is showing no sign of letting up.

She used to have a lot of other stuff, but she rarely plays with toys anymore so we got rid of most of them. She mainly reads books, draws, plays on her laptop/3DS, or plays with other kids and/or the cat.

emily2244

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Re: Ridicilousness IS ubiquitious - especially for my kids
« Reply #40 on: August 05, 2015, 04:23:47 AM »
My kids (4 and 1) don't play with toys. Except balls, legos and an erector set... We have a few small bins of plastic toys that never are removed from the shelves and I'm planning to get rid of. Grandma recently bought the 4 year old a plastic spider man toy that my son thought was cool at the store. He played with it for 5 minutes and then said it was a terrible toy and never played with it again. I think that the toy industry is all marketing and no value. Kids WANT the toys, but don't play with them. My 1 year old, like most I think, will play with anything but toys. So if big plastic toys come into the house they stay for a day or two, are moved to the basement, and then given away. I've told family and friends this, but they still buy expensive and large plastic toys on occassion. It is nice when we have play dates at our house because the kids actually play together, rather than just checking out our toys.