Potty training roadblock

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

This thread involves frank discussion of human defecation and urination. Since this is a parents' forum I assume y'all can handle it.

My wife was helping her brother sell a bunch of baby stuff since he decided he's done. One of the items was a potty chair, and when my daughter, who's 20 months old, saw it, she wanted to sit on it. Didn't expect that, but I took off her pants and diaper and sat her down on it. Next thing I knew, she said "All done poop!" and she had pooped in it. Whoa! So we put her in some training pants and for the last three weeks it's been going great. She hasn't had a pee accident in probably two weeks, and she hadn't had a poop accident the whole time until five days ago.

Here's what happened. She had a poop that hurt, and the next day was afraid to poop. We had some of her cousins here and went to a playground, and she pooped at the playground. I rushed her back home, had her sit on the potty chair (where she peed), and showered her off. Not fun but you don't expect perfection. The next day, she pooped in the potty again - great! Except this one hurt again. The day after that, she refused to poop, and the subsequent two days (yesterday and the day before), she's held out as long as she could and then pooped in her pants before we noticed.

I know we aren't going back to diapers. She seems fully pee-trained and was good on poop too until recently. She is mentally and physically able to do it. She doesn't like the feeling of poop in her training pants, knows it's yucky, and wants it off as soon as it happens. I think she's just afraid it'll hurt if she does it on the potty.

Right now our strategy is not to worry about it too much, because we know she's able. We think she just needs one that doesn't hurt in the potty to get back on the wagon. So we're just resigned to a few gross days before we catch her at the right moment, sit her down, and she does it, realizes it doesn't hurt, and is pleased.

Any other strategies to suggest? We've been so proud of her progress.

[justajane]

Your strategy sounds good. The only thing I would suggest is to sit her on the potty once in a while and give her a book or put on a show so that she can relax and maybe get it out. You could especially do this if you are about to go out somewhere. A warm tub can help too (although it's gross to clean poop out of a tub, though not as gross to clean it out of a pair of underwear!). It really stinks (ha!) to have painful poop. I hope she feels better soon. Give her tons of water. Maybe she's dehydrated?

Of course, I would take this with a grain of salt, since my two older boys didn't potty train until they were three or ever three and a half!

[RunHappy]

If you toddler is constantly constipated then they may not be getting enough water.  Make sure they are drinking more water (not juice), the colon is basically the fluid police.  It needs water no matter how old you are.  If the water doesn't help, you can also try some mineral oil.  It has no taste so no need to mix it.  It helps lubricate everything on the way out so it doesn't hurt. 

Edit:  Might need more fiber in the diet as well.  Fiber is very important for pooping.

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

Yep, trying to push water on her all the time. She loves vegetables so she is good on fiber.

[Louisville]

Next time you go the pediatrician, check for anal fissures. They're not uncommon in tots. Not to be alarmist, though - the discomfort is probably just from big poops.

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

I don't think it's hurt when she's pooped herself. She loves sweet corn but hates pooping it out. That, I think, is the only reason it hurt those two times.

[AZDude]

Look at her diet and make sure she is getting enough water. Kids that age are picky eaters, so you often just feed them whatever they will eat, even if it ends up being french fries every night. Too much milk and not enough fiber causes some constipation.

Watch her diet closely, and if necessary add a little miralax to her drink. That should gets things back on track.

[AZDude]

Also, from my experience, you are already ahead of the game potty training at 20 months. Be proud she has made it this far. My daughter was well past two before she really got the hang of it.

[TrMama]

After struggling with constipation issues in my 6yo for the past year I'd suggest a slightly more aggressive "prescription". Get her a polyethylene glycol 3350 based stool softener (Miralax) and give it to her mixed with juice every day for at least a week (Google to dose for a 2yo). This will make her poop regularly, she won't be able to withhold and it won't hurt.

The issue with constipation in little kids is that it stretches out the lower colon thereby making it easier for them to become (or remain) constipated. Since constipation hurts, they withhold, which makes it worse again. See the slippery slope here? You don't have a potty training problem, it's a constipation problem.

In our case, diet and water alone didn't help one iota. My DD needs the stool softener to get her back on track.

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

Guys, she's pooped every day at the same time except one. She's been very regular, it's just been in her pants.

[asiljoy]

I wish my 22 month old poo-ed in a potty. I'm so over diapers. :(

[GuitarStv]

WTF?  Pooping shouldn't hurt, ever.  If there are constipation issues after following a good diet (lots of fiber and water) and moderate amount of exercise take her to the doctor . . . something's wrong.

[MayDay]

Whether she poops daily or not, if it hurts, she is likely constipated.  This is very common in toddlers, and many many parents insist it couldn't possibly be constipation since they poop daily. 

When DS was 3 we went camping and he decided not to poop until we got home.  He obviously got very constipated, but at some point he couldn't hold it anymore and went.  Luckily he was old enough to sort-of reason with and he understood that if you wait to poop, it hurts.  He has never held it in again!

If your DD goes at the same time every day, I would say make sure you are home at that time and be super viligant- probably even pants-less, to get her back on the potty track.  But again, if pooping hurts, you need to address that- she is constipated.

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

Right, it hurt a couple of times and we've pushed water extra-hard. I agree she was constipated before. It doesn't seem to be hurting now. We're definitely going to aim for a calm night tonight with eyes on any hiding in funny positions.

[KCM5]

I'm assuming you've cut out corn for the time being, too, right? (Does corn make it hurt? I've never noticed.)

[Mrs. Pomodoro]

Hi OP, I think your strategy to just keep doing what you're doing should work. Our boy started showing interests at about 18 months and refuse to wear (cloth) diapers soon after discovering he can use the potty. Every once in awhile we have a few days with accidents that seems to coincide with developmental milestones but he's better at it afterwards (able to tell us, able to go to the potty by himself, able to pull his pants off, able to use different potties/restrooms, etc.) He's going to be 3 soon and we're mostly accident free now. Persistence seems to do the trick!

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

Progress last night. She had an accident in early evening and then asked to go twice in quick succession as she was going to sleep. Pooped both of those times and she was delighted about it.

Thanks for the responses!