I'm very surprised how
@sol 's parenting style coincides with mine. So, very much what he said and
-My kids pay me to drive them to school. They can walk (about 15min walk), and they walk home, since I am still at work and can't give them a ride. They have a choice, either they walk, or they pay me. At the beginning it was additional chores around the house. Now, since my mom lives with us, she dominates dishes and cooking and most cleaning. So, I have decided that they pay me with reading, but only books approved by me (we had a problem at the beginning with them reading books they have already read). For example, my daughter (12 e.o) is finishing "Everyday math for dummies" (384p), it talks about personal money like CCs, mortgages, interest rates, balancing checkbook, business math, insurance math, you name it, it has it. After each chapter we discuss what she read, I want to make sure she understands the material (I loved how her eyes sparkled when she finally understood what a compound interest was). After this book she has a choice of reading "vocabulary for SAT," "self teaching guide for chemistry" and similar things. Practically, these books are going to help her in life and other things, and should save me money on hiring tutors. My son (10e.o) reads "advanced algebra" for his car ride (he is very good at math). After every book they finish, we go and celebrate at Starbucks.
-They also pay me with reading for their electronics time.
-They don't ever ask any money from me, they usually come with a question like "mom, how much should I pay you back for lemons and sugar after I sell lemonade?" I ask them what do they think is fair (most of the time 50%), completely covers lemons, and they do everything themselves (set up, banners, lemonade). They clean neighbors driveway and pay me ~10% for renting my tools.
-My daughter wanted to have a cat. We agreed that I will pay for his initial shots and neuter, but if he needs additional vet visits, she is going to cover that. The cat had an extra visit and we negotiated to 110 (for a $110 visit) tasks she needs to do around the house (besides her regular chores). The cat is one year old, and she still has about 10 tasks left.
-The rule is they need to brush their teeth at least twice a day (if they forget, or oversleep and have no time in the morning) I charge them $10 per occurrence. Fixing cavities isn't cheap.
-They only get $1 allowance each month, I figured they don't really need more than that, I buy food, clothes, concert clothes, musical instruments and pay for extra classes they want to take, I also buy them books. So, if they need to pay me $10 for missing teeth brushing, they might be out of that money for the whole year. If they miss it again (which doesn't happen), they need to come up with another way to get that money.
-They don't get paid for doing regular chores. It's their contribution to the family, should be free. Interestingly, when I go outside to shovel or just do some yard work, they get out to help because they might get some bonus points (like additional Starbucks trip or something else, it might be nothing at all, but there is always a chance for something good to happen).
I don't believe in lecturing, no rephrase that, I believe that lecturing doesn't work, at least the way I want it to work. People learn from making mistakes and from watching others. The mistakes part we have covered, no brushing teeth ($10) - cavities, expensive bills. Want the luxury of riding to school and having more time in the morning - pay for it (read).
Now, about watching others. Recently I had to bring my 2013 Subaru for a part recall and got a loaner for 5 days (2019 Subaru- nice shiny, sun roof, technology). Kids were elated and kept asking me why I won't buy this car, "mom, why won't you buy it, you have the money." Me: "That's why I have the money, because I don't spend it." My x recently got a newer car to replace one that was working fine, but was older. So, that was my kids' "normal," until they saw a "new normal" of me not buying even though I could afford it.
They are far from being mustachians, but they have the opportunity to observe it and see that there is another way of living, very different form the majority around them. My daughter freaked out and was panicking when I first introduced the idea of me retiring in a couple of years. For the second conversation she came prepared with questions like what am I going to do if I get a "dry season" on my rentals (well, the wheels are turning), and I had to tell that the chance that all of them are going to be in "dry season" is low, plus they are insured.