The Money Mustache Community
Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Mini Money Mustaches => Topic started by: clarkfan1979 on April 19, 2018, 11:57:26 AM
-
I traveled often as a young adult, mostly on the cheap. A common theme of protestors was that once I have a kid that will come to a stop. My child is 11 months and he has traveled 32,711 miles via airplane (6 round trip flights) before his first birthday.
Once he hits age 2, we will probably slow down because we will have to buy him an actual ticket. However, for right now we will continue to take him with us and parade him around the United States.
-
A common theme of protestors was that once I have a kid that will come to a stop.
Um...what protestors?
I have a similar experience. I'm an older parent, but travel was our big thing before kids. Our son, who just turned 3, generally flies quarterly, if not more frequent. Which is cute, because the cabin crew usually assume it's his first flight. We have a pile of junior wings, and he has made several cockpit visits--nowadays, only after the flight is over. But the truth is that he almost qualified as a Silver Elite flier last year, and likely will this year. We have taken him from Florida, to Alaska, to Hawaii, and many places in between. Europe is up in June.
Admittedly, he is an *Excellent* traveller. The only time he is a handful is on overnight / red eye flights.
-
We just got back from spending our spring break in Europe, with kids ages 6, 8, 17. We did stop traveling for a few years after #2 and #3 were born, but that was more because we bought an expensive house and had a nanny and didn't have the budget. This is well before finding MMM or we wouldn't have bought the stupid house! We didn't actually take the younger two on an airplane until they were 4 and 6 respectively, but since then we've taken them to: Jamaica, Mexico (Cancun), UK (London, York, Edinburgh), Italy (Rome, Pompeii, Florence), Netherlands, Belgium, France.
We've also taken them on road trips: up to Washington state, all the way to Indiana for a road trip (19 states in that one...when the youngest was 2.5), Colorado, Utah, and backpacking in Sequoia, Joshua Tree, Olympics. We've been whale watching with them at the Channel Islands, and they've been skiing three times in Brian Head, UT. I think they're at 21 states currently. Having kids does definitely change how we travel; we don't ski Mammoth anymore because five of us can ski in Brian Head for the same cost as one in Mammoth, but it's a reasonable compromise!
The kids actually travel really well; they do better on red eye flights than I do. Thanks to travel hacking we don't spend a fortune on our travel even with the kids. We often rent an airbnb or other option with a kitchen so we don't eat every meal out to help reduce expenses too. I've found on our international travel that other people are much more friendly when we travel with kids. That really surprised me.
-
Because it depends on the kids.
I'm glad you all have good travelers, but let's be real: lots of kids are a nightmare to travel with.
-
We travel a lot with our kids but it has definitely changed the way we travel. But of course kids pretty much change the way you do everything.
We also tend to stay either with family or in AirBNBs with kitchens so that we can make food at home. We usually eat out once per day while travelling.
A bit of a spanner in the works is that my older daughter has developed terrible motion sickness on planes. We're going a trip to visit family in the US this August and I'm desperately trying to avoid a repeat of our last plane trip which was my daughter vomiting repeatedly as we were landing and even after we had landed as we were de-planing.
-
You can...My 2 year old has been on 3 cross-country trips and one trans-Atlantic. Right now, I find travel less enjoyable and will probably wait until he and baby #2 are bit older to do more.
-
Because it depends on the kids.
I'm glad you all have good travelers, but let's be real: lots of kids are a nightmare to travel with.
True, but often times kids are a nightmare to travel with because their schedules are out of whack and they are pushed to the brink of their patience, which is obviously meager to begin with.
Kids have also changed how we travel. We take more long car trips and tend to keep their normal routine and keep a very relaxed pace and attitude. My youngest can be very cranky at times and will meltdown more often while traveling. We accept that and try to take it stride. Which means that we usually prefer to travel in just our small family unit, rather than with extended family, because it's less stressful for us, and the kids, to not have to deal with another set of expectations and travel styles.
We travel somewhat frequently with the kids (two long trips and two shorter trips per year avg) and they have gotten to be much better travelers over the years.
-
Because it depends on the kids.
I'm glad you all have good travelers, but let's be real: lots of kids are a nightmare to travel with.
It also depends on the parents. Our style of travel has definitely changed with kids, but I've found that there's a lot I can do as a parent to not set them up for failure, particularly by managing my expectations. There has certainly been some trial and error, and we've had our share of kid nightmare meltdowns. We've learned that having snacks kid #2 will ALWAYS melt down spectacularly when hungry) and adapting our plans to be more accommodating to our children's needs has gone a long way towards making travel with them more enjoyable. Dramamine has also helped a fair bit since 2 of my 3 have had bouts of motion sickness during travel. It's definitely not the same as traveling before having kids, but it's been very rewarding and has certainly been worth the difficulty.
-
I'd be careful about getting too smug before you've even reached the toddler stage - traveling with a toddler can be harder than traveling with an infant in a lot of ways. And if you decide to have a second...
I'm glad you have a good traveler now though and I hope that continues for you.
-
Sure, you can travel all you want with kids. The ages 5 to 11 are awesome since they're still open to anything - teenage cynicism hasn't set in -- and they're long past the diaper/stroller stage. After that, it becomes tougher both with their attitudes AND their activities. If they're involved in any sort of year-round competitive sport, you have few windows to travel significantly.
What about travel without kids? Unless you have willing and able grandparents -- and we don't -- you will never go anywhere alone. Our kids are 15 and 12 and wife and I haven't gotten away for more than two nights in nine years.
-
We used to travel a lot before children, and still continue but a bit less as now we have to travel during the school holidays and my leave at work has been reduced. My oldest son is 6, and has been to China, India, Sri Lanka, Seychelles, Europe, America, etc. we live in the middle east so it is easier to travel. I think that if you start traveling with them since they are babies, you and they get used to it, and it is not that hard, even if you have 2 children. We have a 3 and a 6 year old, last year we went to London, Amsterdam, Brussels in the spring, and Greece in the summer. Everyone told us Santorini and the Acropolis would be very tough, but it wasn’t, my 3 y.o walked a lot and enjoyed, she even tells me her favorite place is Santorini. You just need to be more flexible, prepare a lot ( I do a lot of planning and reading) and incorporate some kid friendly activities. We all enjoy traveling, they keep asking me when and where are traveling next.
-
I'm not interested in travelling with a baby or toddler. Not a big deal to stay home for a few years. We got a lot of travelling out of the way before kids.
We took our older son on his first plane trip when he was 3.5 and he was fine.
-
We took my daughter to the Adirondacks when she was 4 months...I'm glad she was nursing, as the extra 8 hours of flight delays would have been tough otherwise.
We also did a long weekend in St. Louis when she was 3 months and that went great, except the drive home which she got a but upset about.
The drive to Austin when she was 9 months was better.
She flies to Austin in 2 months (15 months), and we are planning on Spain when she is 21 months.
We won't leave her while we go on trips, but both my husband and I have done single trips since she came along.
-
We have slowed down and adjusted our traveling with kids. 3yo and 8mo, we choose better flight times, more free time, lots of snacks, shorter trips, and nicer hotel room (try to get ones with kitchenette now)
It’s fun but different. We are looking forward to the young one being potty trained, what a difference that makes!
-
We have six year old twins, we crossed Europe at six months which was exhausting but doable. At ten months we flew back home from Belgium to Sydney with a week in Thailand. That trip was so traumatising I vowed not to travel with them again until they could talk and tell me why they are screaming their heads off. We flew again when they were three, just me and the twins. It was really quite lovely and the opposite of their ten month old trip. We didn't have a TV at home so they were thrilled with the infighting entertainment not to mention undiluted juice on tap. They enjoyed the different countries and we're a pleasure to travel with. At four we went again, this time crossing Europe by train as well. They even helped me lug all our luggage across London. I enjoy travelling with them, I just make sure we have stopovers, usually a week for the long haul flights and at least a night for short haul stopovers. Even if it's just the airport hotel, getting to sleep in a proper bed makes for a much more relaxing trip.
-
I know people who haven't gone on a vacation or trip in ten years "because they have kids."
I travel a lot - my little one is almost 2. She has flown fairly often. My husband and I have also individually taken trips with friends, leaving the other spouse at home with the kid.
Our joint travel has definitely changed. Before I went for bare/cheap accommodations because I was just sleeping there. Otherwise, I was doing ALL THE THINGS. Or I was drinking all day on the beach. Now, I get an AirBNB/VRBO with a kitchen and separate bedrooms. Relaxing at the house while the little one sleeps is a major part of the trip. I'm going to Florida next week, and I splurged for a house with a private pool so I can swim/relax during nap and bedtime. I also have no set plans - we will play everything by ear based on the Current Toddler Mood.
When we add more to the brood, we will definitely do more road trips and Amtrak trips instead of flights.
-
Slowing down was key for us. On our first trip with our first child, we had planned way too much, and we learned that we needed to just slow down, go with the flow, and take care of his needs first.
Improvisation becomes much more difficult. Planning is more important.
Stress levels go up - if things aren't ideal, you're not dealing with just one other unhappy person.
Costs, naturally, go up a lot.
As others have noted, flights can become a nightmare, but it does depend upon the child. <12 months is not necessarily the difficult time; for us, 1-2 years was hellish. Yes, hellish. Son at 1 was miserable, screaming nonstop despite all of our planning and efforts. Daughter at 1 was insistent upon walking the entire flight. Four hours of wandering the cramped, crowded aisles on a cross-country flight later, I can speak from experience that it's not very enjoyable.
Our kids were better, but still difficult at 3. Now, at 5-7, they're pretty good, but still have a lot of needs, and everything is still much more challenging than when planning a trip for two adults. However, there is something to be said for watching them delight in things that you might otherwise find blase. This can allow you to experience a lot of things with a fresh perspective.
-
Because it depends on the kids.
I'm glad you all have good travelers, but let's be real: lots of kids are a nightmare to travel with.
True dat and I have one of each.
We definitely tailor or travel to our kids just like we tailor the rest of our lives to them.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
-
Ours are 5 and 6, and we have done annual international trips with them since birth. Last year we went to Vietnam, Cuba, Boston and Florida, this year we have done Argentina, Florida and leave for Italy in a few months. Our kids are great travellers, but it is also an important activity for our family. My DH and I see travel as an important part of the life we desire to live - our children have had to adjust to that and for now love travelling as much as we do. (We are in Eastern Canada by the way).
-
I'm reminded of the "are you taking a trip or going on a vacation?" bit that made the rounds on the 'net a few years back (google "trip or vacation" and it will pop right up), and largely find that, yes, traveling as a parent with kids is more trip, less vacation. So it goes.
I found the not-yet-walking stages of traveling pretty straightforward. Mobility in the early years added all sorts of challenges to long drives, long flights, and long waits, though from about 5 on, it's again gotten pretty straightforward.
Like me (but not my husband), my kid can sleep anywhere and will eat anything, which makes matters lots simpler.
Of course, there's plenty outside of one's control -- a propensity to motion sickness, food allergies -- that can make traveling difficult, and kids seem more prone than adults to some of these things.
And yes, sports schedules add another complication. We've scarcely a weekend without one or more games -- the kid plays in several organized leagues, which is mostly a positive for us -- and try to avoid missing them, for the most part. And there's school, without which we'd have a lot more flexibility in scheduling. No, we have no interest in homeschooling.
-
I'm reminded of the "are you taking a trip or going on a vacation?" bit that made the rounds on the 'net a few years back (google "trip or vacation" and it will pop right up), and largely find that, yes, traveling as a parent with kids is more trip, less vacation. So it goes.
I loved that article and reread it on an annual basis. No joke. My daughter is 5 and we're still in "trippity trip trip" territory.... though I'm glad to hear that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. On our last trip to the beach, we did a daytrip to Savannah that involved a lot of walking. There was a considerable amount of whining, but overall she did better than I expected.... so maybe we're going to turn the bend soon.
-
I will admit we do not travel as much as I would like. We typically do one summer vacation per year but we have to be very budget conscious and with four of us living in a flyover state, there aren't a lot of options that don't involve very expensive flights or really long drives. Both of my boys play baseball, which basically limits us to the end of July/August for travel. Traveling over Christmas or spring break is even MORE expensive.
The last two years we've done major road trips...one to the east coast and one to the west coast. This year we are skipping a big vacation and doing some smaller local-ish camping trips instead because we are funneling vacation money into some home improvements. We just don't have the money to do everything so choices have to be made.
This is something that I definitely struggle with because my kids have friends that are flying to Europe and the Caribbean pretty regularly...and this is definitely one thing that I wish I could give them.
-
Yes to the trip vs vacation article! Our recent travel to Europe was definitely "trip". All inclusive to Jamaica including childcare two years ago? That was probably my first ever actual "vacation" and it was glorious. I sure would love to do something like that again someday, but it's definitely a rare splurge since I haven't found a way to travel hack the bulk of it yet. We have cheap flights to Europe down though!
And parents who travel with kids that are autistic have my utmost admiration. A friend of mine has two sons with autism and is a military wife so she handles SO much on her own and it is another league of difficult altogether.
-
Based on this article: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-blazoned/vacation-or-trip-a-helpful-guide-for-parents_b_7789310.html
All my preferred vacations are "trips". We ALWAYS want a kitchen. I ADORE being in a tent. And things like aquariums and battlefields- sign me up. So I guess I don't do vacations.
Even without kids.
I'm confused what a vacation would be. Lots of "trips" were described, but the only vacation mentioned was Tropical resort, all inclusive, kids programs. That sounds awful. Most resorts are cookie cutter and could be placed anywhere in the world with good weather. AI means $$$$ on things I'm unlikely to use. I'd like kid programs, but if I'm not working I want to spend some time with my kid- daycare sees her more than I do.
-
Yes to the trip vs vacation article! Our recent travel to Europe was definitely "trip". All inclusive to Jamaica including childcare two years ago? That was probably my first ever actual "vacation" and it was glorious. I sure would love to do something like that again someday, but it's definitely a rare splurge since I haven't found a way to travel hack the bulk of it yet. We have cheap flights to Europe down though!
And parents who travel with kids that are autistic have my utmost admiration. A friend of mine has two sons with autism and is a military wife so she handles SO much on her own and it is another league of difficult altogether.
Please elaborate this!
-
I traveled often as a young adult, mostly on the cheap. A common theme of protestors was that once I have a kid that will come to a stop. My child is 11 months and he has traveled 32,711 miles via airplane (6 round trip flights) before his first birthday.
Once he hits age 2, we will probably slow down because we will have to buy him an actual ticket. However, for right now we will continue to take him with us and parade him around the United States.
That's generally what people are referring to; its more expensive. Sure people with kids travel, some also have a lot more money then others. Its pretty reasonable to assume that if you have two kids, it costs twice as much, so you might travel half as much.
I would also travel more if my kids could travel for free. As you say yourself, kids will change your travel habits, a singular baby, not so much. The argument is valid for a lot of people purely for financial reasons, it has very little to do with logistics (offer people with kids free flights and I imagine most will take the offer).
-
Yes to the trip vs vacation article! Our recent travel to Europe was definitely "trip". All inclusive to Jamaica including childcare two years ago? That was probably my first ever actual "vacation" and it was glorious. I sure would love to do something like that again someday, but it's definitely a rare splurge since I haven't found a way to travel hack the bulk of it yet. We have cheap flights to Europe down though!
And parents who travel with kids that are autistic have my utmost admiration. A friend of mine has two sons with autism and is a military wife so she handles SO much on her own and it is another league of difficult altogether.
Please elaborate this!
Oh, we had a very VERY non-mustachian vacation two years ago with very good friends of ours...we went to Beaches Ocho Rios. It was NOT a frugal trip (although airfare could have been bought via miles/points but it was after this trip that we got a rewards credit card and started our travel hacking). We chose Ocho Rios because it was the cheapest of the three Beaches properties. Since then we have done another all-inclusive in Cancun that was a fraction of the price...but it was definitely not on the same level of amazing. It was the most I have ever spent on a trip in my life; we usually do road trips/camping trips, or pretty action-packed Europe travel on a budget. This was totally different from anything we've ever done and we are definitely sold on the relaxing beach vacation every few years! My very non-beachy husband who was extremely reluctant to do the trip still declares it two years later to be the best vacation he's ever had.
-
The all inclusive resort had child care? We are always a little nervous about hotel or resort child care.
-
Based on this article: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-blazoned/vacation-or-trip-a-helpful-guide-for-parents_b_7789310.html
All my preferred vacations are "trips". We ALWAYS want a kitchen. I ADORE being in a tent. And things like aquariums and battlefields- sign me up. So I guess I don't do vacations.
Even without kids.
I'm confused what a vacation would be. Lots of "trips" were described, but the only vacation mentioned was Tropical resort, all inclusive, kids programs. That sounds awful. Most resorts are cookie cutter and could be placed anywhere in the world with good weather. AI means $$$$ on things I'm unlikely to use. I'd like kid programs, but if I'm not working I want to spend some time with my kid- daycare sees her more than I do.
So, to offer one example, my basic version of a (kid-free) beach vacation goes -- drive to beach. Stay in beach house. Only goals for the week are (a) spend some time on beach; (b) make a batch of brownies at some point; (c) sleep in; (d) spend one day (likely determined in part by the weather) lying on the couch and reading a book. Typically also includes long walks -- say 2 hours, r/t -- at night on the beach.
Family trip to the beach is -- drive to beach. Stay in beach house. Perpetual enforcement of rules about whether TV, etc., is on or off (in fairness, this is partly because DH does not care and thus will allow DS to have screen time, whereas I am a fan of limits. But if it were just me, there would simply be no TV at all during the week we are at the beach. Or tablet. Or smartphone. Or anything.). But not to worry, because if kid is awake, and he is awake ~7 a.m. to ~9 p.m., he wants to be on the beach, and more to the point, in the ocean. And he is only just getting to an age (tween) where I might consider letting him go into the ocean by himself. But probably, I will go in there with him, and he will happily spend 3 hours or more swimming in the waves. In the morning. And then want to do it again in the afternoon (DH will come in with us once over the course of the week, just so he can say he did so. He does not like to swim in the ocean). And quite possibly the early evening (probably only 2 hours then). Every single day for a week. And he will be talking to me the entire time we are in there. Which, don't get me wrong, is delightful. But exhausting. If we are not in the ocean, he wants to be building stuff out of sand, and yes, he will do this by himself, some. But he is social and wants us to participate (yes, this would be easier if there were a sibling -- it is easier when there are cousins present -- but there's no sibling and not all such trips include cousins). And if we are not building sandcastles or swimming in the beach, then he wants to play mini-golf. Or play monopoly. Which requires a partner, aka, parent (see: no sibling). Or watch TV. Or throw a football on the beach (again, requires 2 people. One might be DH.). Or I might -- might -- be able to talk DS into going for a ~30 minute walk, but not the kind of walk I'd take on my own. And I can leave him and DH in the house and go out by myself for those long night walks if I want to (but who would have the energy after that day?).
And you know what? It is delightful. Heck, we were on the beach this winter in ~36 degree weather with a driving wind when not another soul was in sight (because who the heck would want to be on the beach in those conditions? DS), and he dug us ditches, so that we could lie in them and be out of the wind. Which worked, and was interesting, and a good experience, and fun in a larger parenting sense. But not a vacation, if the goal of a vacation is to relax and get some rest.
So -- kid: trip (for one thing, if I cannot sleep as late as I want? Trip, not vacation). I like trips, but trips are not vacations.
-
Based on this article: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-blazoned/vacation-or-trip-a-helpful-guide-for-parents_b_7789310.html
All my preferred vacations are "trips". We ALWAYS want a kitchen. I ADORE being in a tent. And things like aquariums and battlefields- sign me up. So I guess I don't do vacations.
Even without kids.
I'm confused what a vacation would be. Lots of "trips" were described, but the only vacation mentioned was Tropical resort, all inclusive, kids programs. That sounds awful. Most resorts are cookie cutter and could be placed anywhere in the world with good weather. AI means $$$$ on things I'm unlikely to use. I'd like kid programs, but if I'm not working I want to spend some time with my kid- daycare sees her more than I do.
So, to offer one example, my basic version of a (kid-free) beach vacation goes -- drive to beach. Stay in beach house. Only goals for the week are (a) spend some time on beach; (b) make a batch of brownies at some point; (c) sleep in; (d) spend one day (likely determined in part by the weather) lying on the couch and reading a book. Typically also includes long walks -- say 2 hours, r/t -- at night on the beach.
Family trip to the beach is -- drive to beach. Stay in beach house. Perpetual enforcement of rules about whether TV, etc., is on or off (in fairness, this is partly because DH does not care and thus will allow DS to have screen time, whereas I am a fan of limits. But if it were just me, there would simply be no TV at all during the week we are at the beach. Or tablet. Or smartphone. Or anything.). But not to worry, because if kid is awake, and he is awake ~7 a.m. to ~9 p.m., he wants to be on the beach, and more to the point, in the ocean. And he is only just getting to an age (tween) where I might consider letting him go into the ocean by himself. But probably, I will go in there with him, and he will happily spend 3 hours or more swimming in the waves. In the morning. And then want to do it again in the afternoon (DH will come in with us once over the course of the week, just so he can say he did so. He does not like to swim in the ocean). And quite possibly the early evening (probably only 2 hours then). Every single day for a week. And he will be talking to me the entire time we are in there. Which, don't get me wrong, is delightful. But exhausting. If we are not in the ocean, he wants to be building stuff out of sand, and yes, he will do this by himself, some. But he is social and wants us to participate (yes, this would be easier if there were a sibling -- it is easier when there are cousins present -- but there's no sibling and not all such trips include cousins). And if we are not building sandcastles or swimming in the beach, then he wants to play mini-golf. Or play monopoly. Which requires a partner, aka, parent (see: no sibling). Or watch TV. Or throw a football on the beach (again, requires 2 people. One might be DH.). Or I might -- might -- be able to talk DS into going for a ~30 minute walk, but not the kind of walk I'd take on my own. And I can leave him and DH in the house and go out by myself for those long night walks if I want to (but who would have the energy after that day?).
And you know what? It is delightful. Heck, we were on the beach this winter in ~36 degree weather with a driving wind when not another soul was in sight (because who the heck would want to be on the beach in those conditions? DS), and he dug us ditches, so that we could lie in them and be out of the wind. Which worked, and was interesting, and a good experience, and fun in a larger parenting sense. But not a vacation, if the goal of a vacation is to relax and get some rest.
So -- kid: trip (for one thing, if I cannot sleep as late as I want? Trip, not vacation). I like trips, but trips are not vacations.
So well said.
To me, a vacation is a week where I get to spend a majority of the time doing things that I choose to do.
In a recent week-long trip to the beach, I had a ton of fun with my five year old and husband. We made some great memories. But I never picked up the book that I brought, never took an evening walk on the beach, and never slept past 8 am.
Pleasant trip, but it wasn't a fun/relaxing vacation.
-
I fondly recall a twenty-four hour flight I took with an eight month old, who was very well behaved as long as one amused him. He didn't really sleep, though, so somewhere around hour twenty-one of constantly amusing him, I remember thinking that this was the absolute nadir of my existence and if the plane went down, it wouldn't be so bad.
Car trips have worked pretty well as the family size has increased, because the kids are very good about entertaining each other. I credit the increased room that minivans provide, as when my brothers and I were crammed into the back seat of a station wagon, we fought *constantly*. I suppose this was a form of entertainment for us, but it didn't seem to make our parents happy. Corralling the kids once we've reached our destination is another matter.
In my opinion, one can certainly still travel, even with bucketloads of children, but I pretty much don't want to.
-
Great observations- except for visiting relatives- we did not do big trips until kids were older . We found a great family camp a few hours away that had care for kids starting at 6 months- started going when my youngest was just over a year. That was my vacation- I still had meals with kids- but someone else cooked and cleaned up and mornings and afternoon they had their own activities. So we could take a nap or read or walk. Evenings- we had two very simple rooms- could get the kids to bed and spend time in the next room or on the front porch. They usually slept well since they were worn out.
-
The all inclusive resort had child care? We are always a little nervous about hotel or resort child care.
Yes; we only used it for a couple of dinners though because we had a great time hanging out with the kids around the water slides and the beach. Our kids at the time were 4 and 6 (and 15, but he had free run of the place with his friend whose family traveled with us). It was a pretty reputable (and expensive...did I mention it was very non-mustachian? I found MMM later that year...) place. I would definitely recommend the place we went from an enjoyment and safety standpoint, but it was a hell of a splurge.
-
Great observations- except for visiting relatives- we did not do big trips until kids were older . We found a great family camp a few hours away that had care for kids starting at 6 months- started going when my youngest was just over a year. That was my vacation- I still had meals with kids- but someone else cooked and cleaned up and mornings and afternoon they had their own activities. So we could take a nap or read or walk. Evenings- we had two very simple rooms- could get the kids to bed and spend time in the next room or on the front porch. They usually slept well since they were worn out.
WHAT IS THIS FAMILY CAMP YOU SPEAK OF???? It sounds awesome.
-
https://campbrosius.iu.edu/
Neither of us went to IU- but we joined the alumni association so we could go.
-
https://campbrosius.iu.edu/
Neither of us went to IU- but we joined the alumni association so we could go.
Oh yeah, our local uni has one too. Haven't tried it. THought it would be fun to do it somewhere else though.
http://familyvacationcenter.com/
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
-
our most favorite times with our 4 kids have been all the road trips we've taken.
of course you can travel with kids. . . . but it's just different than before.
We've road-tripped around the US and had great times; but starting at age 16, our oldest 2 said "NO MORE!" we've flown with all 4 ONE TIME; its just so pricey to rent a van and pay for plane tix so thats why we've driven.
in all -- we have had great trips to both coasts from the midwest. Love it. Will never regret those times.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
Hang in there, you are not alone.
-
Yeah, people told us that too. Complete Bs. As long as we plan well and stay flexible it’s completely fine. We did take a short break while the kids were potty training (because I don’t hate myself), but other Ethan that they go everywhere.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
Hang in there, you are not alone.
You're definitely not alone. My cousin has Aspergers and my aunt told me the story of a disastrous trip to Europe with him, her two other kids and her (now) ex-husband when he was around 2. Apparently he could not stop screaming and acting out due to a combination of jetlag and unfamiliar routines and it was the most stressful thing she's ever done. There is an end in sight as now her kids are all in their 40s and the one with Aspergers is pretty independent. He lives at home but is taking care of their pets and garden while my aunt goes on a 2 week vacation starting next week. She's a retired teacher but pretty mustachian and finds great travel deals.
-
My kids were not autistic, and I never found traveling with them relaxing. It was all the regular work, only harder.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
Hang in there, you are not alone.
You're definitely not alone. My cousin has Aspergers and my aunt told me the story of a disastrous trip to Europe with him, her two other kids and her (now) ex-husband when he was around 2. Apparently he could not stop screaming and acting out due to a combination of jetlag and unfamiliar routines and it was the most stressful thing she's ever done. There is an end in sight as now her kids are all in their 40s and the one with Aspergers is pretty independent. He lives at home but is taking care of their pets and garden while my aunt goes on a 2 week vacation starting next week. She's a retired teacher but pretty mustachian and finds great travel deals.
Thanks for the responses, HulaHoop & CindyBS.
-
I love traveling with my son too. He's now 8, and has been to 10 countries so far. Even though he's autistic, he's on the mild side, and is more "shy". From a budget point of view, it's definitely more expensive, but I just budget aggressively for travel. Usually we'll do cheap travel (like visit Canada and stay with my parents for 2 weeks), and we'll do an international trip maybe once a year. We make it a bit more kid friendly by building in time to do things like go to parks and playgrounds. But we don't do any kid specific things, like go to Disneyland for example. We just do things that we want to do, and just schlep him along.
-
Im not hesitant to bring our 6 month old on most trips but with 2 working parents and all the other kid related stuff that has been added to life's to do list we just dont have the energy to travel much anymore. For the first time in my life, looking at using my annual leave to stay home and perhaps keep kid in daycare which is essentially prepaid babysitting.
-
Heh.
You would NOT have travelled with me when I was that age (well, you could have, but you would have been embarrassed the entire time since I cried often because I had some health issues).
-
All I can say to those of you who have children is to respect the travelers who are around you and try to keep your kid quiet. Not all of us think it is cute to hear a kid squeal and scream the entire trip. I especially despise it when a kid kicks the back of my seat. Do the parents not care or don't see this happening? Some of us are on vacation and I consider the plane trip part of the experience and expense.
I am not trying to be mean spirited but at least do all you can to entertain the kid (toys), feed the kid (bring pudding, sandwiches, apple sauce, etc.), give the kid special treats (candy, cereal). Whatever it takes to keep the kid calm and happy and NOT kicking the back of someone's seat.
I have been in the grocery store too and parents let the kid shriek like a banshee and it never seems to bother the parent. We shoppers do find it disturbing! Bring something as suggested above to feed or entertain your kid or just don't bring the kid. Can't always blame the kid because he/she could be tired, cranky, sick, hungry. Be considerate of the kid if he/she is not up to shopping. Babysitter, spouse, grandparents come to mind...
-
@Roadrunner53 Absolutely; we make sure we have snacks, entertainment, etc. The first time we traveled with our kids on a long flight we were a party of 6 and paid a ton extra to pick our own seats so we had 3 in front of 3. That way if there were seats being kicked we could configure it that we were in those seats with the kids behind. Fortunately, they do very well and we found it's not a problem. But, we waited until they were 4 and 6 to even put them on a plane the first time.
I know things happen; sometimes a really little one has terrible trouble with their ears and screams. We were on one flight with a family whose two small children (2 and 4 maybe?) were severely motion sick and threw up the whole time. I will say, as a fellow passenger, when the parents are struggling but trying and nice and apologetic I am much more compassionate! We do our best to mitigate against whatever we can, and be attentive to our childrens' needs throughout the trip so that they don't impact others as much as possible.
Sometimes with the grocery store, though, there's not a lot of other options if your kid loses it and you need to buy some essentials. I will be honest, I try very hard not to visibly react when my kids have a public meltdown (thankfully, it isn't often these days!) because sometimes they're after any reaction even if it's negative. That doesn't mean I'm not immensely bothered by it! Unfortunately not everyone has the luxury of a spouse, babysitter, or grandparent if they need to run out to the grocery store. We are very lucky that we live very close to work, so almost all of our shopping is done at lunch time without kids. We grocery shop without kids whenever possible; it's generally quicker and cheaper that way.
-
FireHiker, I appreciate everything you have said and wish more parents would prepare better when travelling with their kids. I know it is hard to get every little thing perfect but if some just tried half as much as you do, then maybe the kids and innocent bystanders could deal with it.
Maybe you could make a list and post it to help others organize when going on a trip or just to the grocery store. List things that have helped you keep your kids peaceful!
We were all kids one time and I am sure we were cranky pants at times too. I wonder what our parents did to keep us happy and quiet!
-
our yet to be born kid - coming in 6-7 weeks already has their first trip scheduled to hawaii from Missouri next spring.
we've always heard this story but i think it will be fine.
-
All I can say to those of you who have children is to respect the travelers who are around you and try to keep your kid quiet. Not all of us think it is cute to hear a kid squeal and scream the entire trip. I especially despise it when a kid kicks the back of my seat. Do the parents not care or don't see this happening? Some of us are on vacation and I consider the plane trip part of the experience and expense.
I am not trying to be mean spirited but at least do all you can to entertain the kid (toys), feed the kid (bring pudding, sandwiches, apple sauce, etc.), give the kid special treats (candy, cereal). Whatever it takes to keep the kid calm and happy and NOT kicking the back of someone's seat.
I have been in the grocery store too and parents let the kid shriek like a banshee and it never seems to bother the parent. We shoppers do find it disturbing! Bring something as suggested above to feed or entertain your kid or just don't bring the kid. Can't always blame the kid because he/she could be tired, cranky, sick, hungry. Be considerate of the kid if he/she is not up to shopping. Babysitter, spouse, grandparents come to mind...
Strangely enough, children don't come equipped with an on/off switch nor do they have volume control. Parents can bring snack, entertainment etc. but children are people and we can't always control what they do, like a remote control car. In many situations, kids are tired or cranky but grocery shopping must be done and there is no other option but to bring them to the store. And if you choose to share your space with other human beings on a plane or bus you have to accept that some of your fellow humans will be children, disabled or different from you in some other way.
I guess I'm a little touchy as last time I flew long haul with my 2 kids, my daughter (who was 5 at the time and hearing impaired) was watching her favorite movie on the plane (Frozen) and kept saying to me sitting next to her "look, there's Elsa" or "oh no the wolves are going to get Anna!" and things like that. She said it in her regular speaking voice which is quite loud thanks to being 5 and having hearing issues. A nasty French lady sceamed at me to make my child quiet not just once but 3 times. It was a daytime flight but she wanted to watch her movie without having to hear my daughter talk to me about her favorite movie. I told her that my daughter is 5 and hearing impaired and behaving extremely well. I tried to explain to her that hearing impaired children often have problems moderating their volume and that my child should be allowed to talk. I asked her what she suggested I do - maybe drug her? I had already told my daughter several times to keep her voice down but this is very difficult for a hearing impaired child - and it really wasn't that loud. Anyway, I was just amazed by this. Maybe I've been in Italy too long - people are warm here and kind to children, older people and people with disabilities on the whole.
-
DW and I just took our 5.5 month old to Aberystwyth, Wales, for a family wedding. Red-eye flight, layover at 2am body-clock-time, 3.5 hour drive from airport to Wales after landing in UK.
I was extremely anxious leading up to the trip. Baby did pretty well though. It helped that we had family around to give us a hand throughout the weekend. We don't have family near us where we live, so that felt like a luxury.
Next up, Hawaii in June. That will be a 9-10 hour flight, but at least it will be direct. We also booked seats that should be compatible with having the airline provide a bassinet, so baby can (hopefully) sleep somewhere other than our laps! After Hawaii, Dallas in July.
Traveling with a baby is hard, for sure. But, being at home with a baby is hard, a lot of the time, too.
People have told us that travel becomes more challenging as baby becomes more mobile.
-
Hula Hoop, yes, children do not come with an on or off switch. We all have to be tolerant of each other but it is still the parents job to quiet the child as best as they can. To you, your child with a hearing disability didn't seem loud but to others it may have been annoying. Don't take offence because sometimes the parent just doesn't realize how annoying certain behaviors can be. You have become used to it but the rest of us have not. All I am asking is for parents to try to do the best they can to keep the child quiet by providing things (food, toys, etc.) to stop the noise. Yes, there are times when nothing works and I think other passengers do realize that the parent has tried their best. But some parents just do nothing at all.
I have two dogs and one in particular likes to bark at people, other dogs, vehicles driving up my driveway, you name it this dog will bark at it. I allow the dog to bark a few times and that is it. I won't subject the neighborhood to my dog barking all day long outside. I think dogs are allowed to bark a little and kids can make some noise too. But, when it is possible, try to stop the behavior no one wants to listen to.
Sorry if I have offended people.
-
RR - the point is that I did tell her to speak quietly but that's something that she can't do. Even now that she's had an operation that restored her hearing to almost 100% she still has a loud voice, which is a habit that I think she adopted during her first 5 years with hearing loss. Short of drugging her there was nothing I could do, as I explained to the French lady. I think that she thought that there was some kind of volume control switch on my child.
-
Hula Hoop, you did all you could do at the time. No one is faulting your efforts. I am sure the French woman just didn't understand or didn't believe you.
Just curious, have you taken your daughter to a speech therapist since she has regained her hearing maybe she needs to retrain her voice volume. That is wonderful she has almost perfect hearing! YAY! WONDERFUL!
We all have our problems...I just found out my one dog who was a rescue (Pomeranian) just had a cancerous tumor removed. We got the bad news Friday night and I have been in tears for days over it. The Vet suggested taking him to an oncologist which we will do. He has to have stitches out this week and then we will take him. He is such a sweet baby boy and I hope they can help him.
-
She did speech therapy for several years but now no longer needs it as both her languages are at the level they should be.
Very sorry to hear about your dog's tumour - I hope that he is OK.
-
Hula Hoop...thanks...
-
Hula, people should be more understanding or bring earplugs. I love it when kids are engaged.
-
Hula, people should be more understanding or bring earplugs. I love it when kids are engaged.
I do too. I love to hear the sound of children talking and laughing. But I find it annoying when adults talk loudly to each other or on cell phone on a plane. But we are all people and commuters on the same commercial jet, just like children are, except adults can control themselves better. Why do some people feel that their annoyance level takes precedence over that of others?
-
Hula, people should be more understanding or bring earplugs. I love it when kids are engaged.
I do too. I love to hear the sound of children talking and laughing. But I find it annoying when adults talk loudly to each other or on cell phone on a plane. But we are all people and commuters on the same commercial jet, just like children are, except adults can control themselves better. Why do some people feel that their annoyance level takes precedence over that of others?
Thanks so much, guys. Obviously, I agree completely.
-
Baby Peacock #1 reached Silver status on Northwest his first year of life. My kids are 11 and 14 now - they are on their 4th passport (and that is about to expire). I love to travel with them. The hardest thing about travel with kids, IMO, is as they get older it costs more. I now get two hotel rooms (or a two bedroom rental) when I travel with them because no one will share a bed and they are really too old for me to want to anyhow. They are obviously way past the lap baby stage for air travel. Kids change how you travel - I've hung out at playgrounds and carnivals in Spain and France - places that I never would have bothered w/ before travel w/ kids. Now that they are older they have the stamina for more "adult" type outings on the trip (riding bikes around the Versailles gardens). Now they can help plan and identify what they are interested in seeing. This summer the 11 year old wants to see ALL the cathedrals in London (there are many - we won't manage this).
-
There were 5 of us and we always had 1 hotel room . 2 regular beds and a rollaway bed.
-
My child (not yet two) has completed 4 international trips, and several domestic trips. We've actually increased travel (from 1 international trip per year to two) since she's been born. BUT we don't plan to have another since we're enjoying this fantastic life where we get to have a great kid whom we adore but also get to do all the fun stuff we did before having a kid. I think a 2nd kid would make it exponentially harder (and more expensive!) to keep our active adventurous lifestyle up!
-
We honestly haven't traveled much (other than obligatory family holidays) since we had children. But it isn't the traveling with children (which is sort of easy) as much as time constraints and schedules.
I found the larger problem to be vacation time from work. I work for a small business so had to use up all my vacation time for maternity in the years that I was pregnant/they were born so that took up almost 4 years. Once you have them you have to take vacation time for all the times they are too sick for daycare.
Now that they are older, their preschool, elementary school, and DH's university schedules don't line up so most of my vacation time is childcare on the weeks when they don't have coverage.
This summer will be the first vacation we've taken as a family since my kids have been born (and my oldest is turning 7 this summer). We are SUPER excited!
If you have loads of vacation time and easy schedules I can see how it would be much easier though. I anticipate that ours will be easier as the kids get older and get into the same school system.
-
When the kids are young, they are easy to travel with and of course under 2 years of age fly free!
Now, you start double thinking about air or even cruise or any pay per guest type trips. (Hotels and road trips don't mind how many people you bring!) So you start thinking about different style of trips to cut cost.
I have 3 kids....
-
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/share-your-badassity/moved-abroad/
My daughter's first trip was to HK at 3 months. Passport full of stamps. Traveled when living in USA - spent one year in an RV. Kids now 6 and 10 and we are traveling all over the world.
We are actually "traveliving" - preferring to spend a year or so in each country.
-
Before my wife and I had kids, we travelled somewhat frequently, every few months. Figured we might slow down a bit when the first was born, but it'd just take more preparation. Have the right toys and distractions ready for flights, familiar things foods for the hotel, plan the days out better with stops for the little guy. Went quite well, long plane rides to Europe weren't too bad, managed to get to San Francisco, Miami, Munich all in the first year along with numerous 5+ hour train rides for local trips. It's definitely more work, and less enjoyable a trip, but we could still go.
Then the 2nd one was born. And all that prep became worthless. Travelling with him is a small slice of hell. Whether or not you get a good traveller is a roll of the dice.
-
The truth is that sometimes, kids are out of control.
M is 7 and N is 4. They have been with us to: Japan, Philippines, Fiji, around OZ, NZ, France, Spain, UK, Vietnam and I might forget some.
In some instances they have been absolute Angels, some other nightmares for other travelers. And we had this look from travelers, you know, the one saying that you are ruining their flight.
You can be as much organize a you can, and throughout the years we have come to learn of lot of tricks. But if something is wrong with a 3 year old... then the neighbors will most likely have to deal with it too...
-
I have two dogs and one in particular likes to bark at people, other dogs, vehicles driving up my driveway, you name it this dog will bark at it. I allow the dog to bark a few times and that is it. I won't subject the neighborhood to my dog barking all day long outside. I think dogs are allowed to bark a little and kids can make some noise too. But, when it is possible, try to stop the behavior no one wants to listen to.
To me, dog owners are (on average) less considerate than parents of young children. It's rare that I see parents completely ignoring bad or egregiously irritating behavior of their children. Yet every single day I am subjected to neighbors' dogs who are allowed to roam free, bark incessantly, poop in anyone's yard, or chase cars down the street. Every time I take a hike there's a good chance someone's off-lead dog (there's a universally ignored leash law) will be running around, free to crap in the trail, or accost me and my kids with slobber and/or wet fur. This is especially stressful for people who have been bitten by a dog (like my wife). For all intents and purposes, there's no legal redress. The best you can do is go to war with your neighbors, and that rarely goes well.
So I thank you for being a considerate dog owner. In my experience, you are a rare breed.
Back to the topic at hand, travelling with our 3 kids is a mixed bag. We've had some good trips, including a trip to Europe, and made some great memories. But it's definitely not relaxing for us. Travelling magnifies all the usual challenges of parenting, and there are many stressful moments. I should mention that a big source of stress is trying to make sure that our kids aren't making other people's lives miserable. I'm very aware of their noise level, the fact that they might kick the back of someone's airplane seat, or say something offensive aloud. My youngest is fascinated with size differences in people, and is keen to announce when he sees a particularly large person. Yes, we try very hard to explain to him that this is inappropriate, and why. No, we cannot always control what he says in public.
My three 3 children are all very different from one another. If we had three that were just like the middle child, travelling would be a breeze. If they were all like the oldest, we'd focus mostly on techniques to ease anxiety. If they were all like the youngest, we would never, ever travel again.
-
Thank you for those who prepare foods, toys, snacks and sleep schedules prior to the plane trip. You are the people who care about others around you and your children's behavior. I think most travelers would understand if your kid became cranky if you did all you could. But many parents sit there with their kid doing an exorcist and they act like nothing is happening and ignore what is going on. Talk to the kid, rock the kid, give the kid a snack, a lollie pop. Even give them some forbidden food you normally wouldn't give them. I say do whatever it takes to quiet them down! For those who just sit there and ignore it, it isn't cute and no one is enjoying the shrieking.
Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance, be prepared for the worst your kid might be and pack a magic bag of tricks to keep them quiet! I know some parents won't feed their kids certain foods but if it doesn't make them sick and they love it BRING IT!
-
RR - IMO and in the opinion of many parents giving in to tantrums in a public place just to keep a kid quiet is not good parenting. My younger child is 'spirited' and would scream her head off if she did not get what she wanted when she was younger (things like wanting to be able to run around near heavy traffic, stay out after 10 pm, be allowed to cross the street by herself at 4, being able to watch her favorite show on the ipad while her sister didn't get to watch anything). I chose to just let her scream but firmly set limits if her desire was unreasonable or dangerous, even if we were in a public place. As a result, she's a lovely non spoiled 6 year old now.
-
Thank you for those who prepare foods, toys, snacks and sleep schedules prior to the plane trip. You are the people who care about others around you and your children's behavior. I think most travelers would understand if your kid became cranky if you did all you could. But many parents sit there with their kid doing an exorcist and they act like nothing is happening and ignore what is going on. Talk to the kid, rock the kid, give the kid a snack, a lollie pop. Even give them some forbidden food you normally wouldn't give them. I say do whatever it takes to quiet them down! For those who just sit there and ignore it, it isn't cute and no one is enjoying the shrieking.
Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance, be prepared for the worst your kid might be and pack a magic bag of tricks to keep them quiet! I know some parents won't feed their kids certain foods but if it doesn't make them sick and they love it BRING IT!
We've been in that spot, and we've been the parents to let them cry. Because you know what? We prepared, had the candies, the ipads, the books and toys, all that crap ready to go and sometimes it doesn't matter. There might be a misunderstanding here thinking that a crying child can always be talked, bribed, distracted out of it.
-
Our 14 month old did great on our recent flights. It helped to find a place in the airport she could run around, and it was way easier on the legs I had my husband than the ones I didn't.
We have our next trip airplane booked for December, but have a roadtrip next month.
I am trying to get Global Entry, since I fly a lot for work, and we have some international travel planned, but the nearest interview site is over 200 miles, so I'm not sure it is worth it. I'd only have to drive 30 miles to get a pre-check interview.
-
Thank you for those who prepare foods, toys, snacks and sleep schedules prior to the plane trip. You are the people who care about others around you and your children's behavior. I think most travelers would understand if your kid became cranky if you did all you could. But many parents sit there with their kid doing an exorcist and they act like nothing is happening and ignore what is going on. Talk to the kid, rock the kid, give the kid a snack, a lollie pop. Even give them some forbidden food you normally wouldn't give them. I say do whatever it takes to quiet them down! For those who just sit there and ignore it, it isn't cute and no one is enjoying the shrieking.
Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance, be prepared for the worst your kid might be and pack a magic bag of tricks to keep them quiet! I know some parents won't feed their kids certain foods but if it doesn't make them sick and they love it BRING IT!
We've been in that spot, and we've been the parents to let them cry. Because you know what? We prepared, had the candies, the ipads, the books and toys, all that crap ready to go and sometimes it doesn't matter. There might be a misunderstanding here thinking that a crying child can always be talked, bribed, distracted out of it.
Crabbie, if you took notice I DID mention "Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance". If you do all you can great. Some just choose to ignore the kid completely.
-
Thank you for those who prepare foods, toys, snacks and sleep schedules prior to the plane trip. You are the people who care about others around you and your children's behavior. I think most travelers would understand if your kid became cranky if you did all you could. But many parents sit there with their kid doing an exorcist and they act like nothing is happening and ignore what is going on. Talk to the kid, rock the kid, give the kid a snack, a lollie pop. Even give them some forbidden food you normally wouldn't give them. I say do whatever it takes to quiet them down! For those who just sit there and ignore it, it isn't cute and no one is enjoying the shrieking.
Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance, be prepared for the worst your kid might be and pack a magic bag of tricks to keep them quiet! I know some parents won't feed their kids certain foods but if it doesn't make them sick and they love it BRING IT!
We've been in that spot, and we've been the parents to let them cry. Because you know what? We prepared, had the candies, the ipads, the books and toys, all that crap ready to go and sometimes it doesn't matter. There might be a misunderstanding here thinking that a crying child can always be talked, bribed, distracted out of it.
Crabbie, if you took notice I DID mention "Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance". If you do all you can great. Some just choose to ignore the kid completely.
Maybe this hasn't occurred to you, some children respond very differently to interaction when they are crying or having a melt down. Even if a parent does everything to avoid a meltdown, it happens and some kids respond to direct interaction during a meltdown by melting down with more vigor and for much longer than if they were just left to calm down on their down (ask me how I know this). So it may look like a parent is ignoring their child when they are actually responding in the appropriate manner to that particular child and to the benefit of the entire airplane.
Also, you can prepare your butt off and still have life take over. You don't know if that family has just slept in the airport overnight because their flight was delayed or cancelled and whether they had to sprint to their connection and have run out of fun snacks and games because they have been traveling for 10 more hours than they originally anticipated.
I operate under the assumption that we are all humans with our own private struggles, and this leads to greater compassion and less judgment on my part.
-
I operate under the assumption that we are all humans with our own private struggles, and this leads to greater compassion and less judgment on my part.
I love this.
-
Thank you for those who prepare foods, toys, snacks and sleep schedules prior to the plane trip. You are the people who care about others around you and your children's behavior. I think most travelers would understand if your kid became cranky if you did all you could. But many parents sit there with their kid doing an exorcist and they act like nothing is happening and ignore what is going on. Talk to the kid, rock the kid, give the kid a snack, a lollie pop. Even give them some forbidden food you normally wouldn't give them. I say do whatever it takes to quiet them down! For those who just sit there and ignore it, it isn't cute and no one is enjoying the shrieking.
Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance, be prepared for the worst your kid might be and pack a magic bag of tricks to keep them quiet! I know some parents won't feed their kids certain foods but if it doesn't make them sick and they love it BRING IT!
We've been in that spot, and we've been the parents to let them cry. Because you know what? We prepared, had the candies, the ipads, the books and toys, all that crap ready to go and sometimes it doesn't matter. There might be a misunderstanding here thinking that a crying child can always be talked, bribed, distracted out of it.
Crabbie, if you took notice I DID mention "Yes, I know it isn't always possible but at least prepare in advance". If you do all you can great. Some just choose to ignore the kid completely.
Yep, read it and my response follows from that. The underlying assumption in your post is that parents of a crying child have either under-prepared or are otherwise capable of stopping them but choose not to. If you want to either retract that statement or revise it to more accurately capture what you meant, that's fine and we can continue from there, but for now that's what I responded to.
In either case, I'd recommend reading jezebel's response, as it's quite thoughtful and well articulated.
-
This has been true for us. 3 kids: 4 yrs, 2 yrs and 3 months. I'm sure it will get easier when the youngest is 2. Right now traveling is more work than fun. The best trips are renting homes or visiting relatives, but staying in 1 room together is torture!! The baby wakes everyone up and you have to be silent once the kids go to bed, or one wakes up and wakes up the other 2.
-
I remember being on a greyhound bus with my first child who was 8 months old. Despite having bottles, food, toys, books he went on a long crying jag and I tried everything I could to quiet him. Nothing worked and I was stressed out. It was a 24 hour bus ride. He cried for a few hours but luckily everyone was nice to me.
-
My kids are now 10 and 12, and we have travelled 3-6 weeks every summer since they started school. Before that, we were happier at home.
As to screaming kids in grocery stores, buses and planes? It will happen. I agree with Jezebel; There is often nothing you can do, or the best action might be to keep calm and let the child calm down. Most parents know very well what the best and most efficient method to calm their kids is. I think those episodes are best dealt with in serenity, by taking enjoyment in the fact that it is not my child, it is not my job to calm them down, and I am forever done with having kids of that age. If there is anything I can do to help, I will of course do it. Sometimes having a stranger giving the kid the right kind of look will snap them out of a tantrum, and sometimes a parent just needs an extra set of hands for a little while. But usually, it is best to just smile at the parents and wait it out.
Forget about bribing kids. My oldest was high strung as a toddler, and feeding her sugar on top of that was a recipe for disaster.
-
I had 2 international trips with my old kid each 25 to 30 hours one way. She was 6 months one time and next time she was almost 3. We could manage engaging her for 20 hours may be but it was terrible for reamining hours...crying and tired out. We didn’t knew what to do and almost in tears seeing people’s reaction around us. I am very scared to travel long trips with kids and I think it will be that way till they turn like 5 and able to understand us fully and cooperate. I hope so. Second time was better with iPads and stuff but still had some of that worse time we didn’t knew what else to do.
-
We took 3 kids to New Zealand for a motorhome trip at 6, 4, and 1.5yrs old (2016). We island hopped while living in Hawaii. Good trips, good memories, well behaved children.
Now we have 4 kids and as much as I like the idea of traveling, you gotta be realistic about it.
A. They wont remember it. My earliest memory from childhood travelling is a trip to Europe in High school.
B. It's hard. Kids are more work when not at home. We planned a ton, each kids had a full backpack for the long plane flights, snacks and stuff to do. But it's every meal on the go where you're paying more for a sit down place with a highchair than street food you might eat without that limitation.
C. Kid trips and adult trips are basically different trips. With kids - short hikes, children appropriate museums, sightseeing, playgrounds.
D. Shear cost is enormous. 6 plane tickets, doubly expensive lodging.
That said, I think it was totally worth it and this thread has got me thinking about where to go next!
-
Heading out next week for a family trip to Nepal with our kiddos aged 11 and 9. Planning on doing a 12 day trek w/ guide and porters. Pretty excited the kids are at an age where we can pull a trip like this off.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
Hang in there, you are not alone.
Mustachians with kids, particularly those who have special needs, I need some advice. We are obligated to travel to an immediate family member's wedding over 1,200 miles away in October 2019. In Destin, Florida. Our son will be 4.5 years old then & I dearly hope we'll be done with potty training hell by then. We are choosing to drive down & break the trip up over 2 days. Our son is on the higher functioning end of the Autism spectrum, but he struggles with changes in routine. His dad, his primary comforter, will be busy for several days helping with wedding preparations. I will have him by myself in what will likely be a hotel room. I'm very nervous about how this trip will go, to the point of suggesting that kid & I stay home. But the bride & groom to be (in their very early 20s) simply won't hear of son not attending, so I am obligated to go to take care of our son. Can you provide me with some tips and advice for keeping a special needs/under 5 year old relatively calm & happy on what will likely be a 10 day trip, including travel days?
-
All I can say to those of you who have children is to respect the travelers who are around you and try to keep your kid quiet. Not all of us think it is cute to hear a kid squeal and scream the entire trip. I especially despise it when a kid kicks the back of my seat. Do the parents not care or don't see this happening? Some of us are on vacation and I consider the plane trip part of the experience and expense.
I am not trying to be mean spirited but at least do all you can to entertain the kid (toys), feed the kid (bring pudding, sandwiches, apple sauce, etc.), give the kid special treats (candy, cereal). Whatever it takes to keep the kid calm and happy and NOT kicking the back of someone's seat.
I have been in the grocery store too and parents let the kid shriek like a banshee and it never seems to bother the parent. We shoppers do find it disturbing! Bring something as suggested above to feed or entertain your kid or just don't bring the kid. Can't always blame the kid because he/she could be tired, cranky, sick, hungry. Be considerate of the kid if he/she is not up to shopping. Babysitter, spouse, grandparents come to mind...
Strangely enough, children don't come equipped with an on/off switch nor do they have volume control. Parents can bring snack, entertainment etc. but children are people and we can't always control what they do, like a remote control car. In many situations, kids are tired or cranky but grocery shopping must be done and there is no other option but to bring them to the store. And if you choose to share your space with other human beings on a plane or bus you have to accept that some of your fellow humans will be children, disabled or different from you in some other way.
I guess I'm a little touchy as last time I flew long haul with my 2 kids, my daughter (who was 5 at the time and hearing impaired) was watching her favorite movie on the plane (Frozen) and kept saying to me sitting next to her "look, there's Elsa" or "oh no the wolves are going to get Anna!" and things like that. She said it in her regular speaking voice which is quite loud thanks to being 5 and having hearing issues. A nasty French lady sceamed at me to make my child quiet not just once but 3 times. It was a daytime flight but she wanted to watch her movie without having to hear my daughter talk to me about her favorite movie. I told her that my daughter is 5 and hearing impaired and behaving extremely well. I tried to explain to her that hearing impaired children often have problems moderating their volume and that my child should be allowed to talk. I asked her what she suggested I do - maybe drug her? I had already told my daughter several times to keep her voice down but this is very difficult for a hearing impaired child - and it really wasn't that loud. Anyway, I was just amazed by this. Maybe I've been in Italy too long - people are warm here and kind to children, older people and people with disabilities on the whole.
My wife and I don't have kids. But we are aware enough to know that sometimes hissy fits happen, whether at the store or on a plane. When we hear a kid flipping out, we don't think "oh fuck that kid" we think "that poor kid and poor parent, I feel bad for them".
Kicking of chairs is over the top though.
-
About a month ago our family was on a plane home from Europe. In the row in front of us were 3 adults and 3 lap babies (well, one was an actual baby. The others looked a little old...)
There were about 5-10 minutes during the 8 hour flight when none of the "babies" were screaming. There is just no way to hold a kid on your lap for an 8 hour flight and not make him (and yourself, and the other passengers) miserable.
Please, please, if you can't afford to get your kid his own seat on the plane, you can't afford to fly.
-
About a month ago our family was on a plane home from Europe. In the row in front of us were 3 adults and 3 lap babies (well, one was an actual baby. The others looked a little old...)
There were about 5-10 minutes during the 8 hour flight when none of the "babies" were screaming. There is just no way to hold a kid on your lap for an 8 hour flight and not make him (and yourself, and the other passengers) miserable.
Please, please, if you can't afford to get your kid his own seat on the plane, you can't afford to fly.
I don't mind if a baby cries on a plane or on a train, it's all the same. If you must complain about your pain, you might be insane.
-
Please, please, if you can't afford to get your kid his own seat on the plane, you can't afford to fly.
This suggestion assumes that kids, and babies in particular, would never cry in their own seats. Does this match your own observations when flying?
Personally, when my 3 year old son fusses or is crying, I do take him on my lap, as that is the best place for him to calm down.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
Hang in there, you are not alone.
Mustachians with kids, particularly those who have special needs, I need some advice. We are obligated to travel to an immediate family member's wedding over 1,200 miles away in October 2019. In Destin, Florida. Our son will be 4.5 years old then & I dearly hope we'll be done with potty training hell by then. We are choosing to drive down & break the trip up over 2 days. Our son is on the higher functioning end of the Autism spectrum, but he struggles with changes in routine. His dad, his primary comforter, will be busy for several days helping with wedding preparations. I will have him by myself in what will likely be a hotel room. I'm very nervous about how this trip will go, to the point of suggesting that kid & I stay home. But the bride & groom to be (in their very early 20s) simply won't hear of son not attending, so I am obligated to go to take care of our son. Can you provide me with some tips and advice for keeping a special needs/under 5 year old relatively calm & happy on what will likely be a 10 day trip, including travel days?
1) Non-perishable foods that are a "sure thing". Don't count on any restaurant, hotel breakfast bar or anywhere you buy food prepared in advance will be sufficient. The worst is a kid that is overwhelmed AND hungry.
2) Work on teaching him to recognize issues before they happen. When he escalates at home - give him the words. "you need a break." Then work on asking -Do you need a break? Then try to get him to say it. If his language skills are not there - use a simple word like break or a picture/symbol. Being able to have the child say "I need a break" is huge.
3) Does your son like certain blankets/pillows/textures - bring those for the hotel bed. Bring any sensory items. Does he like tents or quiet rooms? You can make one in the hotel room with a sheet. Have you tried weighted blankets before? Those may be good on his lap for a car ride.
4) Develop "sure things" like video games or a video he likes on an I-pad that you can give.
5) Does he have anything he really likes? Dinosaurs? Cars? Can you work a visit somewhere into the trip? If there is a Dinosaur exhibit at a museum, he can "work" on earning that. He can get a chip or token or something every hour he sits nicely in the car.
6) Lay the ground work in advance. No bad talking the trip in front of him. It is an "adventure". Are you going to see the ocean? Read books about the ocean, etc.
Good luck.
-
Please, please, if you can't afford to get your kid his own seat on the plane, you can't afford to fly.
This suggestion assumes that kids, and babies in particular, would never cry in their own seats. Does this match your own observations when flying?
Personally, when my 3 year old son fusses or is crying, I do take him on my lap, as that is the best place for him to calm down.
There is absolutely no guarantee that having their own seat will prevent babies from crying, and it's actually less likely for many babies.
And, as upsetting as it may be to your sensibilities, sometimes poor people have to fly their children places too.
-
Please, please, if you can't afford to get your kid his own seat on the plane, you can't afford to fly.
This suggestion assumes that kids, and babies in particular, would never cry in their own seats. Does this match your own observations when flying?
Personally, when my 3 year old son fusses or is crying, I do take him on my lap, as that is the best place for him to calm down.
There is absolutely no guarantee that having their own seat will prevent babies from crying, and it's actually less likely for many babies.
And, as upsetting as it may be to your sensibilities, sometimes poor people have to fly their children places too.
Like the parents with the "lap babies" on the plane, my kids also have grandparents "across the pond." But when they were small, I would never have put them on a plane for a long flight without their own seat. It's one thing to hold your child in your lap for short periods to calm them down. Not gonna work in an emergency situation. And I challenge anyone to hold an almost-2 year old on your lap for 8 hours without a lot of screaming.
Frugal travel with kids is great but this is not the way to do it.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
Hang in there, you are not alone.
Mustachians with kids, particularly those who have special needs, I need some advice. We are obligated to travel to an immediate family member's wedding over 1,200 miles away in October 2019. In Destin, Florida. Our son will be 4.5 years old then & I dearly hope we'll be done with potty training hell by then. We are choosing to drive down & break the trip up over 2 days. Our son is on the higher functioning end of the Autism spectrum, but he struggles with changes in routine. His dad, his primary comforter, will be busy for several days helping with wedding preparations. I will have him by myself in what will likely be a hotel room. I'm very nervous about how this trip will go, to the point of suggesting that kid & I stay home. But the bride & groom to be (in their very early 20s) simply won't hear of son not attending, so I am obligated to go to take care of our son. Can you provide me with some tips and advice for keeping a special needs/under 5 year old relatively calm & happy on what will likely be a 10 day trip, including travel days?
What can you do in advance to simulate the trip? Are you staying in a chain hotel? Can you go stay at a much closer one with an escape plan to go home as a trial run? Have you stayed in hotels with him before and had long car trips? Can you spend a whole day in a car, or make a pretend one inside your home? Does your child do well with rewards? You could try to set up an incentive system. You could plan out your entire schedule of stops and review it with him, and plan to have incentives/rewards at every stop.
Mostly unrelated since it's about planes and you said you're doing a car trip, but there is a great program locally here in Seattle to allow kids on the autism spectrum to come do a trial run at the airport. They do everything up to but not including take-off, including taxiing around at the airport in the plane, so that the kids can have a chance to experience and see security and experience everything, and take their time in a supportive environment where everyone knows that they may need extra time or may not respond in a normal way. I don't know if something like that would make you more inclined to take such a long trip by plane instead, but I wish they had that everywhere! (It's called Wings for Autism if you want to check if they have it near you.)
-
I feel like I've been fortunate with my 2 kids so far, but one's still in the easy stage (4 months) and we've only done one road trip and one flight with him.
I think this somewhat reiterates what others have covered but here are some of my general tips for travel with young kids by plane:
1) Avoid nap times and after bedtime for flights unless you know your kid will fall asleep in a carseat and they will be in one (not always true in that lap infant stage!)
2) Airlines will often give you an extra seat for free if there's extra space on the plane and you have a lap infant. Call ahead or indicate lap infant at booking and some airlines will do what they call an "infant block" - a soft block that can be sold if everything else is.
3) It's a toss up on whether to take the car seat to the gate or not. If a lap infant - I wouldn't bother unless you're really hoping or already have confirmation of that extra seat. With an older child... well, the car seat moves them forward, so there's a chance you're actually make it even easier for them to kick the seat in front of them.
4) SNACKS and REST are amazing. Do your best to have them in a good mood arriving, and have some things to entertain them.
For travel by car, I can speak from the experience of cramming 3 adults and 2 littles into a Prius for a trip where we stayed in 3 different hotels...
1) Staying in one place for multiple nights reduces your stress a lot. Packing and unpacking when you've got diaper stuff, toys, bed/travel crib stuff... is a pain.
2) Keep snacks, drinks, and toys accessible in the car. I got so annoyed at the other adults who kept moving stuff where I couldn't reach it. I was the one crammed into the back with the two car seats and I couldn't always get to things that would've made my life entertaining them much easier.
3) It's possible even with 3 adults and two under 3 to share a single hotel room with 2 beds. I shared a bed with my husband, the other adult was in the other one, we had a travel bassinet for the baby (amazing and folds up really small!), and for my too-big-for-pack-n-play almost 3 year old, we just brought the bottom part of the pack-n-play to put a familiar sheet around and then had him sleep on the floor.
4) Prepare for falling asleep taking a LOT LONGER. Even if your little one(s) are in their own room, but especially if you'll all share one room or if they're in a stage where you can't confine them to a crib or bassinet. You're likely to have some skipped naps unless you have a good car napper, and they're in a new place where everything is interesting and there are new ways to get in trouble. We tried to contain our almost-3-year-old by doing things like turning a table on its side and containing him with furniture, but it's still difficult. And I'll also mention that it gets easier every night that you stay put.
5) Acknowledge going in that it's not going to be perfect. There will be crying. There will be potty accidents if you have recently-trained kiddos. Whether or not your kid is on the Autism spectrum, has Aspergers, or is not any kind of special needs, traveling with kids throws them off and you will have an amazing time during the good moments and pull your hair out during the bad.
AirBNB and VRBO in a single location instead of the different-hotel-every-night approach will be what I'll try for in the future. We cloth diaper so doing laundry if it's more than 2 days somewhere is essential and staying in homes makes that nice and easy, plus you can sometimes put the kid in their own room. My older son once slept in his pack n play in a large bathroom/laundry room, and I've definitely put him in closets, too!
So for me, in the end, the biggest tip is to just GET WHERE YOU'RE GOING and stay put for a little bit so that you can actually enjoy it. Then make short day trips from there. I just chalk up travel days as lost time where hopefully no one goes insane.
-
We are expecting our first in the next two months and this was a good read. I appreciated the vacation vs. trip article as well. It reminded me a lot of an article on one of my favorite outdoor blogs, Semi-Rad, "Your Best Vacation is Someone's Worst Nightmare" https://semi-rad.com/2013/01/your-best-vacation-is-someones-worst-nightmare/
I'm hoping that being used to trips that already involve vomiting, abnormal bowel movements, and extreme physical and emotional discomfort, not to mention being pretty budget-minded, the transition to "trips" with kids will be a bit less startling than if we were used to the week-at-the-beach kind of trip. Our last hurrah before trying to get pregnant last year was a month of bike touring in Europe which involved lots of fun but also flat tires, extremes of weather, hangry meltdowns, major disagreements about when we could stop for gelato, toilet emergencies, and my hubby getting hit by a car (luckily at low speeds with only minor scrapes and bike repairs). There were only two adults involved, no children. We will certain crank back the adventure for a bit, and expect much of the excitement to come from our own band of spawn!
-
@Teachstache - just wanted to answer one of your questions. (Not a parent of a special needs child, in case relevant). I think others have given good advice about how to make the situation as easy as possible on yourself & your child. I'd just call out that, while it's lovely the bride & groom are set on having you attend, they are also not aware on the challenges that it raises for you, your son & your husband, as well as the stress & logistics. If YOU/your husband are passionate about attending, have at it & take all of the awesome advice. If you & your husband prefer not to go, and it's easier on your son, I'd politely go back to the bride & groom & explain that it's challenging for all involved, and pass on the invite. That's just me, but I wouldn't feel obligated to attend in your situation, just because the bride & groom wanted me/my son there.
If you do end up going, hope the trip is as easy as possible for all!
-
Thanks, all, for the advice. Our son really loves his Amazon fire tablet, so that would be a help. He also likes easily packable snacks like graham crackers & cheese nips. Spouse and I are not enthusiastic about going, due to the needs of our son & the fact that it will be on the beach during hurricane season. We are considering just having spouse attend alone to minimize risk & inconveniences to our son.
-
Not true, you can still travel on the cheap with kids. One thing to note though is expensive travel is lost on kids, they don't get anything extra out of it. So, change your travel expectations, and don't go so far. There are tons of cool spots within 3 or 4 hours of where you live, guaranteed. Long drives are a nightmare with kids - I brought along industrial hearing protection and wore it the whole drive when the kids were smaller - travelling by plane is not a comfortable experience, especially when they're young.
We've had enormous success with short drives to farm-stay vacations. The kids kick up a fuss when we propose to leave the farm for a destination nearby, so we just chill out the whole time and let the kids help out with the farm work or play with the animals. Easy and cheap, and only 2.5 hours away.
-
Depends on the kid.
Traveling with a child with Autism can be a special level of hell. Change in routine, sensory overloads, unfamiliar things, difficulty finding the "right" foods.
I actually cried reading this. We can't stand taking our Autistic 3 year old son traveling. It's not fun for any of us. We're more than content to stay at home. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
Hang in there, you are not alone.
Mustachians with kids, particularly those who have special needs, I need some advice. We are obligated to travel to an immediate family member's wedding over 1,200 miles away in October 2019. In Destin, Florida. Our son will be 4.5 years old then & I dearly hope we'll be done with potty training hell by then. We are choosing to drive down & break the trip up over 2 days. Our son is on the higher functioning end of the Autism spectrum, but he struggles with changes in routine. His dad, his primary comforter, will be busy for several days helping with wedding preparations. I will have him by myself in what will likely be a hotel room. I'm very nervous about how this trip will go, to the point of suggesting that kid & I stay home. But the bride & groom to be (in their very early 20s) simply won't hear of son not attending, so I am obligated to go to take care of our son. Can you provide me with some tips and advice for keeping a special needs/under 5 year old relatively calm & happy on what will likely be a 10 day trip, including travel days?
Update: the couple decided to elope to Florida & are now married. We ended up applying for & earning 2 chase Sapphire reserve cards, which we were going to use for accommodations. Due to their change in plans, we now have 118,000 Chase points & I have no idea what to do with them. We'd love to take our kid to Alaska for a late May or June trip to Denali & the glaciers in 2020 or possibly 2021 (he'll be 5 or 6) but I'm a true novice in travel hacking & I'm not sure where to start on planning & optimizing that trip.
-
We pawn our baby off on his grandparents when we take a trip.
We're actually taking him on his first flight in a few months, so that he can meet his great grandparents. He's a chill baby, so I hope that he flies well. If so, we might start bringing him with us on flights, at least until he turns two.
-
Sure, you can travel all you want with kids. The ages 5 to 11 are awesome since they're still open to anything - teenage cynicism hasn't set in -- and they're long past the diaper/stroller stage. After that, it becomes tougher both with their attitudes AND their activities. If they're involved in any sort of year-round competitive sport, you have few windows to travel significantly.
What about travel without kids? Unless you have willing and able grandparents -- and we don't -- you will never go anywhere alone. Our kids are 15 and 12 and wife and I haven't gotten away for more than two nights in nine years.
I agree. My son took his first plane ride a few days before his 5th birthday and did awesome. We actually ended up splitting that trip up into two shorter flights on two separate days for each leg (this was our choice outbound and the airline's choice inbound) and he did awesome both times. We're doing the overnihgt train thing this xmas, so we'll see how that goes.
-
We haven't tried to travel by plane with our kids because it's more economical to drive. (2 parents and 3 kids)
I would have been concerned about flying with a very young child (less than 5 or so) but that wouldn't have stopped me from taking them. At this point, the only thing keeping us from flying is just the cost. We haven't prioritized that so far but we are talking about doing something soon.
-
@Roadrunner53 Absolutely; we make sure we have snacks, entertainment, etc. The first time we traveled with our kids on a long flight we were a party of 6 and paid a ton extra to pick our own seats so we had 3 in front of 3. That way if there were seats being kicked we could configure it that we were in those seats with the kids behind. Fortunately, they do very well and we found it's not a problem. But, we waited until they were 4 and 6 to even put them on a plane the first time.
I know things happen; sometimes a really little one has terrible trouble with their ears and screams. We were on one flight with a family whose two small children (2 and 4 maybe?) were severely motion sick and threw up the whole time. I will say, as a fellow passenger, when the parents are struggling but trying and nice and apologetic I am much more compassionate! We do our best to mitigate against whatever we can, and be attentive to our childrens' needs throughout the trip so that they don't impact others as much as possible.
Sometimes with the grocery store, though, there's not a lot of other options if your kid loses it and you need to buy some essentials. I will be honest, I try very hard not to visibly react when my kids have a public meltdown (thankfully, it isn't often these days!) because sometimes they're after any reaction even if it's negative. That doesn't mean I'm not immensely bothered by it! Unfortunately not everyone has the luxury of a spouse, babysitter, or grandparent if they need to run out to the grocery store. We are very lucky that we live very close to work, so almost all of our shopping is done at lunch time without kids. We grocery shop without kids whenever possible; it's generally quicker and cheaper that way.
We had a few issues when our kids were younger in grocery stores with meltdowns and temper tantrums. Our response was certainly not to reward that behavior with candy or other treats to get them to calm down immediately. We generally tried to get them to stop by talking to them and if that didn't work we then "dealt with it" in private. Giving in and letting them have a treat will help short term but it will train them to repeat the behavior in the future. There are lots of opinions on this and no one option will work with every kid. This worked pretty well for us because although all our kids tried the temper tantrum thing a couple times they stopped pretty quickly when it didn't work.
Note that I do think preemptively keeping them happy with snacks, toys, games, etc is a great idea and can help considerably. We just didn't use those as a reward for bad behavior. They got those things preemptively or after they calmed down.
-
We haven't tried to travel by plane with our kids because it's more economical to drive. (2 parents and 3 kids)
I would have been concerned about flying with a very young child (less than 5 or so) but that wouldn't have stopped me from taking them. At this point, the only thing keeping us from flying is just the cost. We haven't prioritized that so far but we are talking about doing something soon.
We actually flew a lot more when our kids were younger. We had two under two at one point so were flying four people around but had kids on laps - it was a pretty good deal. Also - long drives with a baby in the car suck!
Now that the kids are older we fly less but they are more capable of making longer trips in the car. Works pretty well. We still fly cross country a couple of times a year to visit family and the cost makes me cry every time we have to purchase 4 tickets!
-
Then how are people complaining about kids on planes?
I've taken them by plane, train and car. Planning a road trip with multiple stops at multiple houses next month.