1) FMLA - know the rules! If you quit within (30 days?) after returning to work, you may have to pay back employer paid health insurance premiums from when you were out, which in my case was several thousand dollars. So here's what I did- collected disability (C-section qualified for me). Then when I figured out after having my child that I had no intention of going back, I negotiated working from home for 3 weeks (flaky nanny excuse, can't find one I trust, just need one more week, etc) and then came back to the office for the 4th week. This allowed me to resign at 30 business days after returning while still spending 3 weeks of that time at home with my child and not ending up on the hook for the insurance. I had ZERO guilt about doing this to my employer because they treated me badly while pregnant, even though I never called in sick one single day of my pregnancy. And they added travel requirements when I was 8 months pregnant. So I had no guilt, but this is hard on the conscience if you work for a small business and really like your employer.
2) formula has by far been our biggest expense. I only quasi-breast fed. Breast feeding will stretch out your formula dollars, but it's inconvenient and prolongs unpleasant hormonal changes. By doing both, my child was ok either way and not impacted when I stopped after about a month. I would buy powder or big containers of formula cheap with coupons and only use ready made for the middle of the night or travel. I reused disposable rubber nipples but they mildew fast so you need to really inspect them in the light.
3) Car seat- I disagree that you need two. We bought one seat and 2 of the $35 bases, one for each of our cars. The seat went with whoever had the baby. Do NOT let your baby sleep in the car seat, infant's heads can lull forward and cut off their airway!
4) Coupon, coupons, coupons..join Enfamil, similac, etc mailing lists, Publix baby club, etc.
5) Diapers - not cheap, but nowhere near as expensive as formula. generics are fine. I try not to pay more than $0.12-0.14/diaper by browsing deals on target, amazon, walgreens, etc
6) I bought most of my baby stuff on Amazon with my rewards card and would get like $30-50 back in credits each month.
7) you do NOT need toys. Our house is full of fancy toys from friends and family, and all my child wants to play with is a wooden spoon, metal bown, empty paper towel roll, etc. The toys are just underfoot and collecting dust.
8) I agree about the pack and play. Never used the basinet and the swing only lasted a few months.
9) at 6 months, make your own baby food. like I said, formula is the biggest expense. I started diluting it then, and making my food without salt, blending it, and then adding salt to only my serving (babies are less salt tolerant). I did not like the baby bullet. It did not work as well as my nutri bullet or food processor. I'd just get a food processor and some little glass yogurt storage containers or something. Also, I stock up on convenience baby food when it's on sale because it's usually good for at least 6 months.
10) To extend baby clothes life, turn your washer off of "hot" and spray with oxy spray before washing to get the food and stuff out. I never had to buy clothes because of grandparents.
11) vaccines are expensive. Talk to a doctor you trust and Choose them wisely some may be necessary and some not, depending on your situation (e.g. whether your kid is in daycare) and some might be able to be postponed.