We're not too far from this stage of our life, and it's something we've talked about lately. This is a bit of a guess, but it's a guess from someone with one foot in the doorway, so it's an educated guess:
- Expect that when your kids become teens, your costs will go up. Even if you've taught them the word "NO", your expenses will increase. Used clothing isn't as easy to find. Braces (and a few other large dental costs) weren't optional for my two. Driver's ed and insurance are big expenses even if you don't provide them with a personal car. And college. Our kids weren't "gimme, gimme type kids, but I'm glad that we had our finances in line BEFORE we hit this stage of their lives.
- Our oldest is in college now, and we do spend on visiting her. We're all comfortable with a visit about once a month -- and it kind of alternates between her coming home (which means 50% of the time we go get her because she doesn't have a car, the other half she's able to find a ride home) and sometimes we go stay in her college town. The expense isn't great, and we love the visits -- but it is money spent on gas, meals out, etc. Also last summer we split a self-storage rental with some other people rather than bring all her "stuff" home. The point: During college years, expect more than just tuition costs.
- We've made it clear to our kids exactly what we will pay during college, and we've made it clear that once they're out of school we will not be paying rent, insurance, etc. Once they have a degree, we expect them to be self-supporting. I've ALWAYS found that it's better to be crystal-clear with your kids on what you will and won't do. For example, if you've paid their car insurance during college, tell them exactly when the coverage will end and how much they should expect to begin paying and when. Don't let them just "assume" you'll continue it for a while and then be surprised that it's due NOW. I expect to help them plan their expenses, and I will definitely encourage them to save from their very first professional paychecks, but I won't be supplementing their lifestyles.
- Once they're both out of college, and it's JUST US, I expect our expenses will go down fairly significantly. We're working on building a retirement house, which will be smaller than the one in which we live now. And it'll be more energy efficient. Along those lines, we'll downsize to one car (we used to have just one car when we were first married, and adding a second car was a HUGE blow to the budget).
- Many, if not most, of my friends who are already empty nesters say that they NEVER cook anymore. They claim it isn't cost-effective. For example, I have one friend whose husband travels all week. When he's home, they eat out one evening, and they grill one evening. She grills an extra steak and an extra piece of chicken, then she slices them thinly over store-bought salads for her evening meals alone. Cooking is one of our favorite hobbies, so I don't see us doing this -- but sooooo many people do.
- We expect to travel more. We're interested in buying a teardrop trailer, which'll mean we can afford extended trips on a budget. We've talked about paying for a family vacation every 3-4 years for everyone -- us, the kids, hopefully grandkids. We'd do something moderately-priced like renting a house at the beach. We'd pay for the house, and we'd expect the kids to kick in for food and activities.
- We're a family that enjoys frequent get-togethers, and I think that once we're in our new house we'll be the hosts more frequently. We tend to do pot-lucks, but I don't think this'll be a huge expense.
- This won't be a problem for years, but I expect eventually we'll end up paying people to do things that will become more difficult as we age: Wash windows, mow the yard, clean the house.
I'm interested in what other people anticipate, and I'm even more interested in what those who are already in this stage of life have experienced.
