I am waiting for a call back from a lawyer I consulted in the past.
@former player -- that's dreadful. I see a parenting failure there (although obviously I don't know the circumstances). No, you can't force the kids onto a plane, but you can (if absolutely necessary, if negotiating and nudging doesn't work) tell them that if they do not get on the plane, you are changing the wifi password, cancelling their texting plan, and not driving them anywhere. I imagine they will want input as they get older, but "just not going" is not one of the choices I will be enabling.
@formerlydivorcedmom -- The most charitable explanation I can come up with is that the XFP is bad at guessing how he will feel in the future and doesn't realize how much this is going to hurt. I don't believe there is a set schedule. Good tip about Skype.
@frugal rph -- I'm sorry, that sounds like a terrible situation. Sounds like I have to share travel expenses from the beginning, that's just how Colorado has it set up. Blech.
@robartsd -- If I had the extra time in the summer, I think it would drop him below 95. Aaaand he doesn't want to go under 92 because then child support goes up. He's a real prince, that one. He cares less about actually getting the whole summer and more about not having to pay more. Sigh.
@mrsmeganmustache -- Thank you for sharing your story! It's helpful to hear. I wonder if my kids WILL resent their dad, who has no super-compelling reason to move. (He gets cold in the winter and can't teach in his preferred field here in Denver, he would have to take a less-prime job teaching something else.)
Things could be much worse. I will make this work and I will avoid saying anything resentful in the presence of my children, who can draw their own conclusions.
More stories/examples are welcome!