Author Topic: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?  (Read 6337 times)

MayDay

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4953
Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« on: November 12, 2018, 08:19:28 PM »
When did you start leaving a kid with a nasty cold, or strep, or something equally non-life-threatening, home alone while you went to work?

Brought to you by staying home while my 8 year old watched TV and complained that her throat hurt, on a day that I really needed to be in the office (and spouse was out of town). 

Literally all I did for her today was make one cup of tea and make a quesadilla.  Which she could have done herself (in the microwave instead of on the stove).  Per our state guidelines, though, she should be 10 to be left for more than 1-2 hours.  It jumps from 1-2 hours to 12 hours at age 10. 

In the normal course I would not leave an 8 year old all day, but when I specifically want her to lay on the couch and not move, it seems silly for me to need to sit in the kitchen in case she has a sudden.... Kleenex emergency?  Cough drop outage? 

katscratch

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1055
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2018, 09:16:03 PM »
When my kiddo was young, Hennepin County was very clear that the age recommendations were merely a guideline and that it varied from child to child depending on their cognitive age, independence, and general life skills.

Illness - for me it would have depended on how ill he was. If he was sick enough to sleep most of the day or had a fever, etc, we would've tried to be home with him. If he had symptoms that required missing school but which didn't make him feel sick, we probably would've been fine leaving him and checking in every hour or two.

I had quite a few friends who were stay at home parents that could have checked on him in person, too.

nessness

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1026
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2018, 10:03:07 PM »
I would probably say 9, but you know your kid best. Does she know how to contact you at work, and what to do in an emergency? Is she generally a good rule-follower? If so, I'd consider doing it, if I could call her to check in every couple hours and could come home quickly if needed.

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2018, 10:42:43 PM »
12 is the youngest you should consider it. As a social worker some states set a age. If not and something happens you will see your child end up in a foster home.

Cranky

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3842
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2018, 04:11:46 AM »
I’d agree with 12yo. A sick 8yo may not need a lot of hands on care, but definitely can use a supportive adult.

Plus, a kid who is sick in the morning may well feel better in the afternoon and get off the couch and into something.

MayDay

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4953
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2018, 05:35:49 AM »
I think saying 12 as a blanket statement is silly. They can babysit at 11. Plus my state specifically advises 10.

Katscratch you are right that it is a guideline, not a hard rule in my county.

Cranky, that is why I actually am fine leaving my kid- the chance of her getting into something,ever is maybe 2%. The chance of it happening when the alternative is unlimited TV and iPad, is zero.

Today she has a nasty cough and feels like crap but still no fever so I am assuming still just a cold. Tomorrow and Wednesday if she needs to stay home I'm going to see if my dad can come but if not I'm going to leave her with a neighbor checking in because I have meetings at work that I cannot miss.

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8186
  • Location: United States
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2018, 06:06:43 AM »
If your state has a guideline, I'd follow it. Even if it isn't a law, a CPS officer or cop might apply it like one, and make your life hell.  Plus you don't really know if things will turn, and an 8 year old may not be comfortable on their own if sore throat becomes vomitting.

Is your workplace at all flexible? It isn't horribly uncommon for lightly sick kids to sit under parents desks and play on tablets all day if the parents had to come into the office (we can work from home for a sick older kid... sick little kids you have to take time off, which makes sense.)


Cranky

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3842
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2018, 06:20:56 AM »
I babysat when I was 12, and honestly - it was a terrible idea.

PoutineLover

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1570
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2018, 06:47:35 AM »
8 seems a little young to me to stay home all day. Maybe for a couple hours it'd be fine, depending on the kid, but a whole workday is long. I started staying home alone around 9 or 10, babysitting at 11-12, at first only for short daytime jobs then gradually longer. I also took a babysitting course at a community centre. They offer those plus stay home alone classes, it's a good thing to look into. Prepares kids for situations they don't normally have to deal with by themselves, plus gives a bit of confidence, for parents and kids.

MrsDinero

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 933
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2018, 07:23:56 AM »
Not sure.  I think a lot of it depends on 1) state guidelines and 2) maturity of the kid.

I was an 80's latch-key kid (no cable TV and 1 kitchen wall phone) .  Today's environment is very different. In some ways I think having a kid say at home is easier because there is more for the kid to do at home (TV, laptops, tablet, etc) and ways to keep tabs, but also today's environment also shuns this type of parenting, even for a couple of hours.

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2018, 09:05:26 AM »
I have seen some sad things happen to people that didn’t really deserve it. Once your child is in the system it literally can take a year or two to untangle and meanwhile your kids are in a foster home.  It is actually worse if your state doesn’t set a age because if anything bad happens they just say that the child wasn’t mature enough to be left.  I recommend having a few adults that are willing to come to your home or have your child come to their home until the child is older.  My mom and one of her friends were willing to do this for me so ask around. When I was a SAHM I did it for others.

Cranky

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3842
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2018, 09:57:17 AM »
And I hesitate to say this, but as a mandated reporter, it’s 3rd grader told me she was home alone all day, I’d have to call that in. I think it’s way too young.

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2018, 10:04:48 AM »
Exactly Cranky. Many people are mandated reporters.  So a very good chance this would get called in.

TVRodriguez

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 773
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2018, 04:00:34 PM »
Good question.  I think the earliest I'll start is age 12 or 13.  My oldest is now 11, and I wouldn't leave him home by himself for an entire school/work day.  I have left him sleeping (when he's been sick) so I could take the other two to school, but that was just for a short trip.  Each kid is different, for sure, and the possibilities others bring up (mandatory reporters, etc) are good to keep in mind.  But even if all goes well, if you're feeling sick, it's kind of yucky to be left all alone. 

I have brought a semi-sick kid to work with me for a short time to get the work done that HAD to get done AT THE OFFICE THAT DAY.  Then I've gone home with him. 

I'm fortunate in that I work for myself so I have an easy choice most of the time.  I recognize that not everyone has that choice. 

My sister used to work for a hospital that had a "sniffles club" for sick kids in their staff daycare area, specifically so that their parents would still go to work when a kid was sick.

MayDay

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4953
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2018, 05:38:23 AM »
She went to school yesterday and was fine.  My dad is on call to come up today if she is worse when she wakes up.

I still maintain that an 8 year old is fine with neighbors checking in and parents calling.  I am definitely more on the free range side of the spectrum.

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8186
  • Location: United States
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #15 on: November 14, 2018, 06:30:29 AM »
She went to school yesterday and was fine.  My dad is on call to come up today if she is worse when she wakes up.

I still maintain that an 8 year old is fine with neighbors checking in and parents calling.  I am definitely more on the free range side of the spectrum.

Your original post didn't say neighbors checking in.  That isn't quite the same as left alone.

Sugaree

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1667
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #16 on: November 14, 2018, 07:07:38 AM »
Not sure.  I think a lot of it depends on 1) state guidelines and 2) maturity of the kid.

I was an 80's latch-key kid (no cable TV and 1 kitchen wall phone) .  Today's environment is very different. In some ways I think having a kid say at home is easier because there is more for the kid to do at home (TV, laptops, tablet, etc) and ways to keep tabs, but also today's environment also shuns this type of parenting, even for a couple of hours.

I think we've swung way in the other direction from the 80s latch-key kids.  As a parent, I'm more concerned about having some busybody calling CPS than something actually happening to my kid. 

A good example is something that I witnessed about a year ago.  I walk into Walmart and there's a small crowd of people milling around the airlock, next to the Redbox machines.  There was a general sense of concern and some hand-wringing.  As luck would have it, a friend of mine was there and I asked what was going on.  She pointed to a couple of kids.  The oldest was a girl of 10 or 11 and the baby was maybe 6 months.  Old enough to hold his/her head up, but probably not walking yet.  Apparently, their father had left them there while he ran 100 ft away to the service desk.  The girl was checking out the movies in the Redbox and entertaining the baby.  I asked how long they'd been there and my friend said that they'd been there about 10 minutes.  Right about that time, the dad showed back up and the three got ready to leave.  Someone in the crowd tried to stop the dad and told him that the police were on his way because he "abandoned" his kids.  He, as I would have done, called her some choice names and pushed his way out the store.  The woman followed him out to his car and, I assume, took his license plate number.  I rolled my eyes and quickly finished my sentence in purgatory...I mean...shopping.  When I was leaving the crazy lady was giving her statement to the officer who finally showed up.  He's a friend of mine from HS (the joys of small town living, huh?) and I could tell by his expression that he was...unimpressed.  As I walked by I told him what I'd seen, a girl who was definitely old enough to babysit quietly watching her baby sibling.  She was not ignoring the baby.  She was not running wild.  She was not making trouble.  I never asked if he had to make the report or if it was a judgement call for him, but if looks could kill the crazy lady would be in jail for my homicide. 

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #17 on: November 14, 2018, 12:41:56 PM »
Yes the redbox experience was stupid. My kids range in age now from 37-45 and I never left them alone before age 12 even during that time. A 8 yo could start throwing up and panic and choke. I guess you can hope your neighbor checking in comes right at that moment.   Nothing was more important than my kids. I called in sick if I had no one to stay with them.  I was not overprotective but responsible.

MayDay

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4953
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #18 on: November 15, 2018, 05:31:08 AM »
She went to school yesterday and was fine.  My dad is on call to come up today if she is worse when she wakes up.

I still maintain that an 8 year old is fine with neighbors checking in and parents calling.  I am definitely more on the free range side of the spectrum.

Your original post didn't say neighbors checking in.  That isn't quite the same as left alone.

True! I was planning to have a WFH neighbor check once or twice, but didn't put it in the OP, oops!

MayDay

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4953
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #19 on: November 15, 2018, 05:36:50 AM »
Yes the redbox experience was stupid. My kids range in age now from 37-45 and I never left them alone before age 12 even during that time. A 8 yo could start throwing up and panic and choke. I guess you can hope your neighbor checking in comes right at that moment.   Nothing was more important than my kids. I called in sick if I had no one to stay with them.  I was not overprotective but responsible.

This is exactly why people are terrified to leave their kids. Yah something bad could happen. Something bad could also happen when my kid walks to school or bikes to the park, or or or or. It's not logical though.

 Parents can't fucking win- we get told we're ruining their childhoods by sitting them in front of screens, but also they'll die if they are out of our sight.

chemistk

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1739
  • Location: Mid-Atlantic
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #20 on: November 15, 2018, 05:55:20 AM »
Remembering my time as  90's kid, I wouldn't have been comfortable being home sick without one of my parents there. Of course, that same logic can't apply to your situation but the point is that every situation is totally different.

That being said, if someone is a mandated reporter, they will report. I agree with your last point - being a parent is insanely frustrating. Kids 'misbehaving' in public? Shame on you. Kids have too much screen time? Shame on you. Your kids don't go to montessori/waldorf/etc. starting at 3? Shame on you. Kids drinking a juice box? Shame on you. Kid doesn't know a foreign language by 5? Shame on you. You got them vaccinated? Shame on you. You didn't? Shame on you. Take them to church? Let them stay up late? Eat halloween candy? Make them cry it out? Don't make them cry it out?

Shame. On. You!

mm1970

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10880
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #21 on: November 15, 2018, 01:47:06 PM »
12

Our son was 11 when he started walking home from school by himself, to be home for a couple of hours.

Some kids who lived closer were walking home at around age 10.

Probably depends on the kid. I was babysitting at age 11.

FireHiker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1141
  • Location: So Cal
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #22 on: November 15, 2018, 02:50:10 PM »
We're approaching the grey area now with our almost 9 year old. Work is 2 miles from home in our case. In the past we either have tag-teamed or I've brought a semi-sick kid in to work (I have a private office so I can sequester). For him and us the answer is "not quite yet, but soon". I do let him walk to the park alone (it is really close to our house and doesn't even take a full minute to walk there). As someone else posted, I'm far more concern about there being trouble because of a concerned busy body than I am about him actually getting into anything. My oldest was about 10-11 when we would leave him home at all, and there was never an issue.

Our neighbors have a 6 year old and two almost 9 year olds. They go to early morning workout and leave the kids home, but we are right across the street and the kids know to come over or even to call if they need anything. The reality is that their parents are almost always home before any of them even wake up.

charis

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3162
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #23 on: November 15, 2018, 03:05:40 PM »
I'm sure it depends on the kid.  If you feel that comfortable with it in regards to your kid, it sound like it would be fine.  My 8.5 year old - not a chance.  Her personality is very impulsive, curious, and, frankly, mischievous.  I haven't left her home alone for any length of time, but I can see that we should start for short periods or we'll end up never feeling comfortable.  I think 10-11 is ok to be alone for most kids.

Gila

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 122
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #24 on: November 16, 2018, 02:34:15 AM »
In Finland the law states that an employee (one of the parents only) has the right to stay home to take care of their sick child under the age of 10 for up to 4 days (not paid). During that time it is presumed that you make other arrangements if the child is sick longer. Many union agreements state that the time is paid and some lift the the age limit up to under 12. I guess you could presume that the generally agreed age limit here is then 10/12.

KBecks

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2350
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #25 on: November 16, 2018, 02:56:05 AM »
My big question is for how long?  A couple hours?  4 hours?  8 hours?  more?

I think a sick child should have a person around and checking on them intermittently.  To be alone and sick really sucks.

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8186
  • Location: United States
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #26 on: November 16, 2018, 08:18:56 AM »
In Finland the law states that an employee (one of the parents only) has the right to stay home to take care of their sick child under the age of 10 for up to 4 days (not paid). During that time it is presumed that you make other arrangements if the child is sick longer. Many union agreements state that the time is paid and some lift the the age limit up to under 12. I guess you could presume that the generally agreed age limit here is then 10/12.

4 days annually? 

I get 10 days of sick time a year (paid), for either myself or dependent care.  I use them- so I can generally stay home when my daughter is sick. But sometimes a kid falls sick on a day that I -really- need to be in the office or I run out because I had to use half the days for my own illness/surgery. Thankfully my husband and I can alternate who stays home.   When she's older and just needs to lay on the couch, I'm lucky to have a flexible job that means I can work from home, but not with a sick little kid.

Gila

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 122
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #27 on: November 16, 2018, 08:38:35 AM »
4 days annually? 
It's 4 days every time your child becomes suddenly sick and needs to stay home from daycare/school or whatnot so cases like nasty colds etc mentioned in this topic. Obviously if you can make other arrangements before the 4 days is up that would be preferable and often you would also provide a doctor's note for this to prove that the child became suddenly ill. This is not for previously agreed doctor's visits (since you can plan for this before) or chronic longer term conditions but instead for cases where the parent might be suddenly hard pressed to figure out child care. It does require that the other parent is also working or otherwise unavailable to care for the child so if the other parent is unemployed or sahp you obviosuly can't take time off.

FIRE@50

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 553
  • Age: 46
  • Location: Maryland
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #28 on: November 16, 2018, 08:44:41 AM »
Inspired by this thread, last night I did some real world research by asking my 8yo daughter when she would feel comfortable staying home alone for an entire workday. She said 10. My wife chimed in with 15. I think I'm somewhere in between those two numbers, but I'm not sure where.

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8186
  • Location: United States
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #29 on: November 16, 2018, 08:58:41 AM »
4 days annually? 
It's 4 days every time your child becomes suddenly sick and needs to stay home from daycare/school or whatnot so cases like nasty colds etc mentioned in this topic. Obviously if you can make other arrangements before the 4 days is up that would be preferable and often you would also provide a doctor's note for this to prove that the child became suddenly ill. This is not for previously agreed doctor's visits (since you can plan for this before) or chronic longer term conditions but instead for cases where the parent might be suddenly hard pressed to figure out child care. It does require that the other parent is also working or otherwise unavailable to care for the child so if the other parent is unemployed or sahp you obviosuly can't take time off.

Wow- that's awesome.

BDWW

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 733
  • Location: MT

TVRodriguez

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 773
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #31 on: November 16, 2018, 12:15:48 PM »
12

Our son was 11 when he started walking home from school by himself, to be home for a couple of hours.

Some kids who lived closer were walking home at around age 10.

Probably depends on the kid. I was babysitting at age 11.
I agree it depends a lot on the kid.  (Personally, as an aside, I was babysitting at age 10, and I shouldn't have been.) 

My 11 year old gets very nervous when I leave him home alone for 10-15 minutes.  I do it anyway now and then on purpose to give him some experience being alone in the house.  He's a bit of a nervous kid sometimes.  He went for a walk around the block by himself recently, and I was proud of him for doing that.  I am sure he'll be fine home alone and most definitely will not open the door to anyone or answer the phone or do anything at all risky.  But it will be at least several months to a year before I leave him home for any extended period by himself.  I wouldn't leave him in charge of his younger siblings alone for any length of time for several years, probably. 

But I still think it sort of sucks to be home alone sick at almost any age. 

When you feel yucky, sometimes it's nice to be able to call out to someone who loves you and who can bring you more tissues or juice or something.

formerlydivorcedmom

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 701
  • Location: Texas
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #32 on: November 16, 2018, 12:19:55 PM »
We don't leave our kids home alone until they are 10.  My kids, at least, weren't mature enough at 8 to be relied on if someone knocked on the door, or if the house next door caught fire, or if the toilet clogged.  They can parrot back to me what they are supposed to do in those situations, but I don't trust them to actually do those things consistently.

EricEng

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 605
  • Location: CO
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #33 on: November 18, 2018, 02:18:34 PM »
Kids walk themselves to school alone at age 6 in Japan (including subway ride).  It totally depends on the maturity of the child and how you have raised them.  I could see it being fine alone at 8, I could see it not being fine at 14.  There will be no single rule for all kids.  My parents did it at 8 for me. This is also assuming the child does not have a life threatening illness or possible complications.

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/10/why-japanese-kids-can-walk-to-school-alone/408475/
Saw this frequently in person and was thoroughly impressed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7YrN8Q2PDU

TVRodriguez

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 773
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #34 on: November 19, 2018, 01:31:44 PM »
Kids walk themselves to school alone at age 6 in Japan (including subway ride). It totally depends on the maturity of the child and how you have raised them. I could see it being fine alone at 8, I could see it not being fine at 14.  There will be no single rule for all kids.  My parents did it at 8 for me. This is also assuming the child does not have a life threatening illness or possible complications.

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/10/why-japanese-kids-can-walk-to-school-alone/408475/
Saw this frequently in person and was thoroughly impressed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7YrN8Q2PDU

It also depends on the culture in which you live.  Parents do not raise children in a vacuum.

FIRE@50

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 553
  • Age: 46
  • Location: Maryland
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #35 on: November 20, 2018, 12:37:43 PM »
Kids walk themselves to school alone at age 6 in Japan (including subway ride). It totally depends on the maturity of the child and how you have raised them. I could see it being fine alone at 8, I could see it not being fine at 14.  There will be no single rule for all kids.  My parents did it at 8 for me. This is also assuming the child does not have a life threatening illness or possible complications.

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/10/why-japanese-kids-can-walk-to-school-alone/408475/
Saw this frequently in person and was thoroughly impressed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7YrN8Q2PDU

It also depends on the culture in which you live.  Parents do not raise children in a vacuum.
So true.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/57eaaf23-0cef-48c8-961f-41f2563b38aa

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7428
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #36 on: November 20, 2018, 02:26:40 PM »
It also depends on how sick the kid is. If I just had a cold, please leave me alone. Throw a fever in, and I want mommy. (yes, even now as an adult. I don't get mommy, but mommy does get some whiny phone calls).

No, I'm not a great sick person, why do you ask?

EricEng

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 605
  • Location: CO
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #37 on: November 23, 2018, 03:18:42 PM »
Kids walk themselves to school alone at age 6 in Japan (including subway ride). It totally depends on the maturity of the child and how you have raised them. I could see it being fine alone at 8, I could see it not being fine at 14.  There will be no single rule for all kids.  My parents did it at 8 for me. This is also assuming the child does not have a life threatening illness or possible complications.

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/10/why-japanese-kids-can-walk-to-school-alone/408475/
Saw this frequently in person and was thoroughly impressed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7YrN8Q2PDU

It also depends on the culture in which you live.  Parents do not raise children in a vacuum.
So true.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/57eaaf23-0cef-48c8-961f-41f2563b38aa
Article is a bit off.  Says age of consent is 18, actually 13 in Japan which I know doesn't help their position.  They still have incredibly low rates of rape and sexual assault along with all crime (see below).  That said, Japan's pornography is all censored which is very different from NA and EU pornography.  So while it is creepy as hell, it doesn't seem to be resulting in assaults.  They just don't have much of a stigma around nudity and porn, so it is much more open and public.
https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/Japan/United-States/Crime

Mongoose

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2461
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #38 on: November 29, 2018, 08:04:25 AM »
I would totally trust my 9 year old home alone...the 7 year old, definitely not. My work is 45 miles from the house and I wouldn't want to be that far away, even from the 9 year old. But, even if I was closer, I wouldn't leave them alone at this age because of the annoying busy bodies. I had someone threaten to call the cops once because my 1 year old was being carried by me 10 feet into a building in the winter and he didn't have socks on his feet. Yeah, go ahead...he is fine...and the only way that kid would have kept socks on is if I had stapled them to his legs. I understand that folks want to prevent tragedies, but it has become ridiculously stifling at this point. It's okay to mind your own business once in a while.

Tuskalusa

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 442
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #39 on: November 29, 2018, 08:27:24 AM »
I agree with 12. Even then then, I’d probably shorten my day at work to a half day, and just go in for critical meetings.

I agree that it’s totally frustrating to have work interrupted for these types of uncontrollable things. Last year, I stayed home for 3 unpaid days straight to make quesadillas and watch an endless loop of “Daddy’s Home 1 & 2.”  But sometimes sick kids can get sicker quickly, you never know, so I try to be around.


Milizard

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 769
  • Location: West Michigan
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #40 on: November 29, 2018, 09:14:23 AM »
I grew up in the decades of kid freedom of the late 70's and 80's.  I would never leave my sick 8 year old home alone all day.  I never was back in the 80's, though I fondly remember summers of venturing miles into the city all day on my bicycle, starting at the age of 10.  8 is too young for a whole day, even with neighbors checking once or twice.  Sorry that it is inconvenient.

Boofinator

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1429
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #41 on: November 29, 2018, 10:13:04 AM »
I walked alone to and from school (~1 mile) starting in first grade (six years old) in a very large city that was high profile in the news at the time for child murder (ref John Walsh). When I arrived home in the afternoon, I was alone for several hours. When I was transferred to another school in third grade that was a few miles away, I rode my bike. This went on for years.

Was there some risk involved? Certainly. Just as there is risk involved in everything we do. Some people are comfortable taking more risk than others, and some people are comfortable allowing their children to take more risk than others. This is a very personal decision.

For a sick kid, I think the proper age to leave them home alone depends on the maturity of the kid and the severity of the illness (and on the importance of the parent(s) being at their job). Though there's no hard-fast rule, I don't think I'd leave my kids home alone all day until they were at least nine or ten. (Though if I didn't get paid sick leave it might go down.)

cats

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1232
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #42 on: December 17, 2018, 11:12:56 AM »
I also think a whole work day is too long for an 8-year-old to be left alone.  However, I would certainly consider leaving an 8-year-old alone for the morning and cutting my workday short to come home at lunchtime, if my workplace was nearby and/or there were a neighbor or relative nearby who could be called on in an emergency.   

NextTime

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 856
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #43 on: December 21, 2018, 09:20:30 AM »
I grew up in the 80's and I don't think my mom left us home alone when we were sick until we were 12. And I babysat my baby brother for up to 3 hours or so from the time I was 10.  Something about being sick.  Also, back then it wasn't uncommon for the home daycare to not mind watching a sick child with the well ones. 

8 years old seems pretty young to me to stay home for an entire day, especially if she's not feeling well.


@Sibley Until I got married at 29 years-old, when I got sick I would still go over to my mom's house and lay on her couch (if she was home).  She wasn't a very motherly or affectionate mother, but she did take care of us when we were sick. Yes I am a baby when I'm sick.

LadyMaWhiskers

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 159
  • Location: SF Bay, peninsula
Re: Leaving a sort-of-sick kid at home- what age?
« Reply #44 on: January 04, 2019, 12:31:48 AM »
I can remember being left home alone at least at 9, and feeling so utterly dejected and unimportant. There’s some additional context I won’t get into, but that’s something to consider too. At 9 I also travelled cross county by plane and made my own way through the airport and public transport, so I was plenty capable, but a sick child feels vulnerable, and if their parent can’t proritize them, it can sting.