Author Topic: kids are hard...  (Read 5806 times)

IllusionNW

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Re: kids are hard...
« Reply #50 on: August 02, 2017, 01:52:43 PM »
Agreed.  Parenting is hard.  I work outside of the home and sometimes, I come home to a total monster.  For example, yesterday I had to deal with a tantrum because I wouldn't let my daughter stick a knife in her mouth.  And then another tantrum when I wouldn't let her play with the nobs on our gas stove.  Sometimes, over the weekend, I look forward to Monday when I can go back to work, eat my lunch while it is still warm, and not have someone touching me at.all.times.

Parenting can be overwhelming and exhausting.  And I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way at times, especially when your little one is going through a particularly difficult stage (like mine is right now when she is exerting her independence).  I find that it's healthy to admit these feelings and problematic when these types of admissions are met with judgments as to someone's parenting abilities/desires.  We all have rough days, or weeks, or months.  My daughter is the light of my life and I cherish (and fiercely guard) my time with her, but that doesn't mean that she isn't a jerk 90% of the time.

So to the OP, I feel ya, sister.  I can't say whether or not it's going to get better, but I can only assume it will :)

CindyBS

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Re: kids are hard...
« Reply #51 on: August 03, 2017, 08:06:26 AM »
My kids are 11 and 14.  It gets better, a lot better. 

I am not a baby/toddler person and I never realized that until my kids weren't babies/toddlers.  I loved age 6-11 A LOT.  And even though people say teenagers and puberty are so bad (it does have issues), I think it is way easier dealing with a kid with a hormonal freak out than a toddler any day.

Hang in there. 

Lentils4Lunch

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Re: kids are hard...
« Reply #52 on: August 05, 2017, 05:40:11 AM »
My kids are 11 and 14.  It gets better, a lot better. 

I am not a baby/toddler person and I never realized that until my kids weren't babies/toddlers.  I loved age 6-11 A LOT.  And even though people say teenagers and puberty are so bad (it does have issues), I think it is way easier dealing with a kid with a hormonal freak out than a toddler any day.

Hang in there.

Thank you for giving me hope!!

former player

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Re: kids are hard...
« Reply #53 on: August 05, 2017, 06:09:37 AM »
Observation rather than experience, but I suspect that a sizeable proportion of children in economically advanced societies are significantly under-exercised (they are physical beings and need to move, a lot) and underoccupied with useful activities (eg chores and learning).  Playing all day with no productive outcome makes anyone cranky if it goes on too long, let alone young kids.  Kids, even 2 year olds, with purpose in their lives do much better.
Be frugal and industrious, and you will be free (Ben Franklin)

seattlecyclone

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Re: kids are hard...
« Reply #54 on: August 05, 2017, 09:38:28 AM »
I share your sentiment. After switching to a part-time work schedule last year, i have sole responsibility for our almost-two-year-old one full day every week. That's about the most I would want to take on by myself. If and when I do FIRE, it will have to be after I'm confident we can still pay for part-time child care. Some time with the kid is great, all the time is hard.
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YummyRaisins

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Re: kids are hard...
« Reply #55 on: August 05, 2017, 07:09:49 PM »
Father of a 3 year old and 21 month old. DW is SAHM and I work full-time. No family nearby to help out and no childcare.

The suffocation is real. It's not everyday for sure, but it happens and I'm certain on those days my wife would gladly swap places with me.

"What's that? Brother decided to fall off the couch and onto his head for no apparent reason and is crying uncontrollably and you just forgot you were supposed to be potty trained because I wouldn't give you more juice? Awesome!"

FWIW we adopted our children, but IMO it doesn't change anything. Even though we had to wait and plan to have them, we still feel overwhelmed, suffocated, underappreciated, or all of the above sometimes.

It feels a bit selfish to say it, but for me, the issue I'm trying to tackle is a lack of personal time to do the things I want to (e.g. workout, read, meditate). Work, while a break from family obligations, isn't free time to do what I'd really like to (as many on this forum know I'm sure), and by the time the kids go to bed (8:30 - 9:00 PM) we are worn out and there isn't really time to do much other than veg.

My current approach to tackle this is to develop a morning routine and to carve out some time early in the morning to practice it. The early rise is kicking my @$$ right now, but I'm hoping to make it a habit.