Author Topic: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way  (Read 653 times)

shanaling

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Hi,

Do you have any financial advice for this situation? My husband and I currently have a 15-month old. We want to try for another one, so we may have a newborn by the end of next year. To cope with having a newborn ourselves, we are thinking of putting the firstborn in daycare so we can focus on the second. We wouldn't be able to use pretax dollars for daycare since the second parent is not working.

Any other ways to save money if asking family for help is NOT an option?

Thanks!

okits

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2018, 06:56:31 PM »
Any other ways to save money if asking family for help is NOT an option?

A less expensive daycare.  Fewer amenities, lower quality, a home daycare, half-day pre-school, just a regular babysitter.  Engage an au pair.

Your posting history indicates your husband used to do freelance work.  Can he pick that up again, even to a small degree (sounds like he'll get a tax deduction for the childcare)?

Laura33

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2018, 11:19:25 AM »
Why would you not be able to use pretax money -- unless your employer also does not offer a dependent-care account? 

Otherwise, my only advice is to start living on what your budget would be if you have #2 -- that's the only way to know whether you feel like you can live that way long-term or need to make some other adjustments to the plan.  Post a case study if you'd like more specific, detailed suggestions on your budget overall.

ixtap

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2018, 11:24:05 AM »
Recognize that putting it his child in daycare is a luxury and decide if that is your priority. Compare this to your other expenses. If it is more important, cut the others. If not, you will manage.

mm1970

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2018, 11:35:37 AM »
Why would you not be able to use pretax money -- unless your employer also does not offer a dependent-care account? 

Otherwise, my only advice is to start living on what your budget would be if you have #2 -- that's the only way to know whether you feel like you can live that way long-term or need to make some other adjustments to the plan.  Post a case study if you'd like more specific, detailed suggestions on your budget overall.
I think the point is that legally, to use the FSA for daycare it has to be used so that the other parent can work or go to school.

kimmarg

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2018, 11:54:12 AM »
Rather than a full time daycare slot ($$$$) I would look into a part time baby sitter. I absolutely support care for the older child - newborns are tough! But for example could a high schooler come over after school for a few hours and help give the SHP a break? that would be less expensive.

jezebel

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2018, 08:52:27 AM »
Rather than a full time daycare slot ($$$$) I would look into a part time baby sitter. I absolutely support care for the older child - newborns are tough! But for example could a high schooler come over after school for a few hours and help give the SHP a break? that would be less expensive.

A half-day YMCA preschool worked great when our newborn arrived - a nap in the morning after drop off, lunch and an afternoon nap for both kids after pick up.  It didn't always work perfectly like that, but I mostly enjoyed having the kids together for part of the day and it was inexpensive.  A young teen or preteen mother's helper is also a good option.

abhe8

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2018, 10:36:54 AM »
So it sounds like older child will be almost three when baby #2 arrives... there are lots of preschool or mothers day out (usually at churches) or other part time, say half days two or three days a week options that would give you a little break and not be as expensive. 40 hr/wk day care is expensive and a luxury as a stay at home parent. I agree it's really not necessary and maybe putting together a regular routine of free preschool offerings would be a better option. Ie. Story time at the library, playdate with friends, daily visits to a nearby park can all occupy a morning and then with lunch and nap (or a structured afternoon quiet time if your the year old doesn't nap) can give a pretty doable routine for the SAHP.

catccc

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2018, 11:37:08 AM »
Plenty of people have multiple kids at home without additional care.  I would suggest giving it a try before you assume you need to outsource care to stay sane. (If you must outsource care to stay sane, that is okay, too!)

Our kids are 2.5 years apart and we had a SAHP.  It actually worked really well.  They shared the afternoon nap time and DD1 got really good at having special quiet time while DD2 did her morning nap.    DD1 and DH would had a ritual of quietly having a snack and playing dominoes on the porch during the morning nap.

DD2 was a spring baby, and come her first Fall, DD1 was 3 y/o.  At that point, we did 1/2 day twice a week preschool, which she loved.  Two half days didn't break the bank, and gave some nice structure to our SAHP's week.  Summers they were both still home, and it was fine.  We got a Y membership (about $100/month) so DH could utilize the childcare there (max 2 hrs per day) and get a break and a work out in.

You'll find a rhythm that works for you, I'm sure.  Good luck!

eco mom

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2018, 03:15:20 PM »
There was mention of a high school student after school - you could go with an even younger "mother's helper" for even cheaper, if you mainly want help while you're also there. This can be an excellent option for a summer baby when kids are out of school, too - you could hire them nearly full time or just as much as you need, and pay under minimum wage because they're kids and basically just playing with your kid and getting experience for solo babysitting later.

I also wanted to suggest play dates. Get to know other parents, and in particular, stay at home parents, in your area, if at all possible. May be difficult if you aren't part time or SAH now. But if you can work up to where the kids and parents feel comfortable doing drop-off playdates, hello freedom. Even if you don't feel comfortable with 2 toddlers + baby, I assume some parents would be interested in evening playdates or date-night kid-watching trades. We're pretty comfortable with drop-off with our almost 3 year old now, but we often used to do post-bedtime kid-watching swaps.

 Are there programs in your area for new parents and/or second time parents? We've made some great friendships through our local "Program for Early Parenthood Support" here in Seattle. I've heard MOPS is great, too. The PEPS investment was only a few $100 but sooo worth it.

Jesstache

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the way
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2018, 05:08:50 PM »
Agree with above.  Preschool once the older one hits 3 years old.  Two 3 hour days per week was about $165/month.  Before then, another SAHM and I (that I trusted) would trade.  My kids went to her house every Tuesday for 3 hours (10 am - 1 pm) and hers would come to mine every Thursday for the same amount of time.  That 3 hours of kid free-ness each week really helped keep me sane. 

We had a group of friends that also did a "baby sitting club" where there were about 6 couples, each had one kid about the same age and they would all take turns each month watching all the kids.  So once a month they'd be able to have a kid free date night (or sometimes a day date) and you only got stuck on kid duty about twice a year.  I think they did it until everyone starting having their second (so about 2 years) because then the amount of kids to watch started to quickly double.  We didn't know everyone when they started the club and we also were about 1 kid ahead of everyone but I liked the idea a lot.

Tuskalusa

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Re: How to save money for SAHP with one in daycare and newborn on the
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2018, 08:33:43 PM »
Preschool sounds like an awesome option. The age seems about right, and preschool is typically more affordable. If you can do half days in the mornings, then you still have nap time...for both kids if you’re lucky. :)

I think even 4-5 half days could be fairly affordable. And preschool is great for getting kids ready to learn in kindergarten.