Author Topic: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources  (Read 3567 times)

Chesleygirl

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How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« on: July 13, 2017, 01:57:31 PM »
8 year old. She wastes lots of food. Pours milk into big bowls of cereal, leaves sitting around for hours, glasses of juice that don't get drunk, uses about 10 rolls of tape a month for projects, destructive in general, can't get her to stop wasting stuff. If my spouse loses his job, we cannot sustain the level of waste that this kid is doing. I have 2 other young children and can't monitor every thing she does on a minute by minute basis. I often find the damage done long after. She has ADHD as well. I'm not sure how to get to stop doing these things. She'll pour  an entire bottle of bath soap out in one day. A bottle that easily could have lasted a month. When asked, she always has some reason she does these things. Again, we cannot sustain this level of waste in the household if my husband were to lose his job. She lost 10 hairbrushes in one month which I had to replace, as she lost hers and mine too.

LessIsLess

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2017, 02:25:42 PM »
She's probably bored.  Find her something useful to do, like playing with other kids.

GizmoTX

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2017, 02:27:08 PM »
Of course she has a reason, but that's not the point. She hasn't learned what is appropriate in your household, so, back to the baby steps. You shouldn't have to micromanage her, but she shouldn't have free access at this point until she learns moderation. It sounds like she is seeing what to her is a never ending amount of supply, so she sees no reason to not use it.

If she gets a bowl of cereal, she should sit down & eat it, no wandering around, & this should be limited to regular meal times. Limit the size of bowl she can use. Ditto with beverages. Water between meals. If you want her to have access to bath soap, put it in a small pump bottle & tell her how many squirts she can use. Make only 1 small roll of tape available at a time. Etc.

Zamboni

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2017, 02:45:14 PM »
Take only what you need is a lesson all kids need to learn. I remember being appalled by how little toothpaste my parents wanted me to put on the brush (the advertisement on the box had a giant gob!) But my mom was raised with the farm mentality . . . one drop of soap does the entire load of dishes! We did not have extra money, and excess waste was simply not tolerated and she could get quite nasty about it.

Besides generally berating us for wasting stuff, she also used the "when it's gone, it's gone until the next time I choose to buy it" method. For things that everyone used, she divided things up into each persons' portions and put labels on them. For example, this container is your milk, and that one is my milk. If you waste all of your own milk, then you may not take any of my milk. I learned pretty fast not to pour twice as much milk as I was planning to drink. On the flip side, she got scolded by the pediatrician for doing this when my brother reported it (after he broke his arm and got asked how much milk he was drinking.)

In the case of my own daughter, I learned to just buy her the smallest possible containers of stuff. This seemed to prevent her from wasting half of a bottle of a drink, for example. It leads to packaging waste, though, so it's not the best way to teach the lesson of self control on using things up.

ixtap

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2017, 02:53:22 PM »
Most ADHD kids need structure and activity to keep them out of trouble.

Gizmo TX and Zimboni posted some ideas on structure.

Do you have one of the active video consoles, like a Wii? Is she interested in some kind of dance or movement that she could learn from Youtube - her age group is generally excellent at seeing movement and figuring it out. Hula hooping, comes to mind. Is there a topic that she is interested in that she could be learning about.

You say she uses a lot of tape, does she have access to reuseable craft supplies, like legos or an electrical board?

She can also earn what she wants to waste. Used up what you consider reasonable tape? She can do chores to earn another roll.

Make natural consequences for unacceptable behavior. Loses the hairbrush, again? Must be time for a short hair cut that can be cared for with fingers or a comb. Or, buy a brush with a hole in the handle so that it can be tied in place.

Even you make it sound like you are distracted with the younger children. Is she doing at least some of this to get your attention? Can you set a weekly or daily activity that is just the two of you in a positive way? Don't even make it contingent on good behavior, just have an activity or routine that is focused on her.


caracarn

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2017, 02:57:35 PM »
Until there is a cost to them that they care about, most people, including kids, do not care.  So figure out a way to create this scarcity and cost that works for your household. 

Our method may not work for everyone because it assumes that the child has access to money.  We provide a basic allowance as a way to teach money management and begin this at age 3.  Any "wants" we are not willing to provide are available only to the child if they have money to satisfy those wants.  Teaches money management very effectively and stops whining.  So in this case if they waste something and it is not crucial and we are not ready to replace it the house goes without it unless one of the kids wants to spend their money and buy it.  The things you are talking about  are a bit different in that they are groceries, so you've got some good suggestions, but I'd add a few points that you might want to try.  She can eat other things than cereal, so since she wastes milk in cereal set the standard that she either use an appropriate amount or you will simply stop buying cereal because you are not going to put up with the waste.  Basically, if she can't learn to live by the rules she needs to understand that certain things will then not be allowed.  I would NOT single her out and offer the others cereal and say she can't have any because she wastes milk.  That will breed resentment.  Juice is not a need.  Tape is not a need.  You need bath soap so you need to figure out a rationing method as well.  Give her a bar of soap.  Hard to pour that down the drain.  If she does not like it as much as the liquidy goodness, then explain again, you can't keep buying expensive bath soap that should last a month and have it gone in a day.  So you buy on the appropriate schedule as explained.  If she pours is out in one day, she gets to use the bar for the other 29 days until you buy more.

Chesleygirl

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2017, 06:25:11 PM »
Thanks everyone for the responses. I'm still reading all of them.

When I  was a kid, I didn't waste like this. Maybe a little here and there, not on the grand scale I've seen with my child and even with some of her friends. We only had 3 meals a day, no snacks. My parents were not well off. Over-consuming food was not an option.

I wonder if I should start rationing food in a similar way. "Once we run out, I'm not buying any more of this for two more weeks".

I did this with bread for a while. We were going through more loaves per week than we should have been.  My husband and daughter would make these big piles of toast and then leave them sitting out. My daughter would butter all the toast then leave it. I started buying only one loaf per grocery store trip, even though they complained that they wanted me to buy several loaves. It feels mean rationing  food but that is what I have to do, I guess.

mamagoose

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2017, 07:31:34 PM »
Natural consequences?

Hairbrush gets lost - let her hair get tangled enough to where you "have to cut it short now".

Cereal gets wasted - well we're not buying any more until next week's grocery run, so you gotta eat eggs now.

Tape runs out - I'm not buying any more.

Does she get allowance? Can she use that to buy her own craft supplies? You don't need to be bankrolling & refilling after her. Let her sweat a little. It's good for kids to see that sometimes things run out, and life still goes on.
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bogart

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2017, 10:10:18 PM »

I wonder if I should start rationing food in a similar way. "Once we run out, I'm not buying any more of this for two more weeks".

... I started buying only one loaf per grocery store trip, even though they complained that they wanted me to buy several loaves. It feels mean rationing  food but that is what I have to do, I guess.

I think there's a huge difference between "rationing food" and "rationing bread" (or whatever).  I have no qualms whatsoever about limiting quantities of ________ (whatever ________ is) for -- reasons, though I would have huge issues about not having enough food around the house for my kid to eat.  Most of the rationing I do is based on the health/nutrition of the food, with me trying to limit how much sweet stuff and how much prepared food (chips, etc.) we eat (not just the LO, but all of us!), but I wouldn't hesitate to say, "I'm not buying two loaves of bread, we only eat one per week," (or whatever) if I'm routinely seeing that 1 of 2 loaves that I have bought is landing in the trash -- for whatever reason. 

gooki

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2017, 02:56:13 AM »
For food waste, we run with, you have to finish your last meal before you start the next. This means left over cereal is eaten before morning tea/fruit. If they choose not to have anything for morning tea, then the left over cereal is eaten before lunch.

Didn't eat lunch at school, then you can eat it at home before afternoon tea.

A couple of weeks of this and big bowls of milk was never an issue again. Some weeks we still go through a lot of milk, but it's all being consumed (cereal, hot chocolate, smoothies).

Craft supplies is hard. I'm all for encouraging my kids to create and hav few limits, where as my wife has a fit when they take 5 pieces of paper out of the printer at once. We've gotten over our issue, but if it was ongoing I'd implement a set amount your comfortable for them to use during a week/month. And only resupply at the start of the next period.
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gooki

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2017, 03:02:36 AM »
PS this isn't abnormal behaviour. My kids will poor a whole bottle in the bath given half a chance, my daughter had lost all her hair bands today (she had a box of 50 of them not long ago). We've had tape usage and milk issues etc etc.

It takes time but you can educate them.
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Laura33

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2017, 06:52:03 AM »
Your kid is perfectly normal, and it really doesn't need to be that hard. 

First, set her up to succeed.  Pour her a reasonable bowl of cereal at night, and put the appropriate amount of milk in a small pitcher of measuring cup in the fridge next to it.  We did this for DD when she was 4 so she could make her own breakfast without waking me up :-) but it also provides a pre-set portion.  If she is ADHD, like my kid, this kind of planned-in-advance structure is really important, because things like portion size don't come naturally, and impulsivity rules.  Do this with any "mandatory" things -- e.g., after she brushes her teeth at night, put the toothpaste on her toothbrush for the next morning so she doesn't use too much, create a specific spot where her hairbrush lives and a routine of when she brushes it, etc.

Second, let natural consequences deal with the rest.  It's not even "rationing" -- it's we buy one loaf of bread a week, one bottle of liquid soap a month, or whatever, because that is what we reasonably need, and it is up to all responsible family members to use appropriate amounts to make it last.  Since she's a kid, what is "appropriate" may (will) not come naturally, so you might have to show her.  But then when she runs out, oh well, here's your backup bar of soap until it's time to buy more. 

Finally, expect failure.  But so what?  Maybe she'd rather have one gigantic bubble bath a month instead of an appropriately-meted portion every day.  That's ok.  The beauty of natural consequences is that you let her decide what matters most to her -- a giant pile of toast that goes uneaten, or a sandwich every day.  And it's not your problem, because your job is solely to buy one loaf of bread a week and one bottle of liquid soap a month, or whatever.  Your budget is your budget, your list is your list, but from there it's up to them to figure out how to they want to use what you buy.

FWIW, you are fighting the never-ending parental fight.  I can't tell you how many times I heard "shut the refrigerator door, you're letting all the cold air out, you think money grows on trees?"  ;-)  We all naturally take for granted what is plentiful and free to us.  We need a little scarcity (either naturally-imposed or artificial) to appreciate and learn self-control.
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Chesleygirl

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2017, 07:05:00 AM »
PS this isn't abnormal behaviour. My kids will poor a whole bottle in the bath given half a chance, my daughter had lost all her hair bands today (she had a box of 50 of them not long ago). We've had tape usage and milk issues etc etc.

It takes time but you can educate them.

Thanks. Good to know I'm not the only one.

Taylor3386

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2017, 08:20:30 AM »
RE Missing hair brushes: Please consider other options before cutting her hair short. Unless of course she wants short hair. When I was 7 my mother had all my hair cut off because I didn't brush it enough and it would get very tangled. It was seriously traumatic for me. I was teased relentlessly for my "boy" hair cut. It also took forever to grow back and looked so bad and awkward while growing out.
I love my mom but I still get angry when I remember that. I wish she had opted to put my hair in ponytails or braids until I was responsible enough to care for long hair on my own. Try putting your daughters hair in braids so that she has no need for a hair brush!

caracarn

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2017, 10:10:28 AM »
My husband...... would make these big piles of toast and then leave them sitting out.

I scanned down through the responses and saw not one called this out.

I mean, OMG!  THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM!  Your husband is modeling waste for your daughter.  Until your husband stops being wasteful you will be helpless with your kids not to mention setting yourself up to be rightfully called a hypocrite by your child because dad does it!  Waste infuriates me as well, and seeing this blew my top!  Tell your husband to step up to the plate and be a good role model.  If he refuses then stop fighting the battle and know you're throwing away money because your marriage partner is a waster.  How you choose to deal with that at that point could start a whole new thread.

Laura33

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #15 on: July 14, 2017, 12:40:59 PM »
My husband...... would make these big piles of toast and then leave them sitting out.

I scanned down through the responses and saw not one called this out.

I mean, OMG!  THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM!  Your husband is modeling waste for your daughter.  Until your husband stops being wasteful you will be helpless with your kids not to mention setting yourself up to be rightfully called a hypocrite by your child because dad does it!  Waste infuriates me as well, and seeing this blew my top!  Tell your husband to step up to the plate and be a good role model.  If he refuses then stop fighting the battle and know you're throwing away money because your marriage partner is a waster.  How you choose to deal with that at that point could start a whole new thread.

Yes, definitely talk to him.  But, honestly, this seems a little extreme.  The DH is a grown-ass man who can manage his own toast intake.  OP is not responsible for his decisions and does not need to try to "fix" him (or view his inability/unwillingness to change as a major character flaw that requires "dealing with" [ominous background music]).   

FWIW, I suspect this issue is just now coming to a head because of the other unmentioned elephant in the room:  your fear that your husband is going to lose his job (which you mention twice).  That sort of financial uncertainty makes you notice the waste more, and makes it more intolerable -- and because that issue is so out of your control, it makes you want to ratchet down exta hard on the things you can control.  Like, say, "fixing" your DD's wasteful habits (and, by implication, your spouse's). 

But this is an excellent way to drive yourself absolutely batshit, because in the end you can never control the decisions made by other independent human beings.  And when they don't do what you want, you get frustrated and feel like a failure, and so you clamp down even more, and the vicious cycle keeps going.  It is also fairly presumptuous, at least as applied to your spouse:  yes, waste is bad -- but putting that issue aside, who's to say it isn't better to enjoy one Giant Sunday Toast Feast than to eat your carefully-apportioned two slices per day?  You need to distinguish the problem behavior (the waste) from the reasonable-choice-you-may-not-agree-with (Toast Feast!  Giant bubble bath!). 

So, again, talk to your husband about the example he sets for the kids.  Set a good example yourself.  Set your kid up for success and teach her what an appropriate portion size is.  Agree with your DH on a food budget, and then buy the food that budget allows.  And then let go.  Because whether that budget provides for one loaf or six, your family gets to choose how it wants to eat whatever is available.  And if they blow it all on Sunday and then on Tuesday are unhappy there isn't any left, oh well -- gee, sorry you're unhappy, I'll be picking up another loaf next week.  A/k/a: not your problem.  Part of learning is also making mistakes; your kid will learn more in the long run by overdoing it and then having to do without than if you control what she is allowed to have. 

To put it another way:  you seem to be viewing your job as "to have bread in the house at all times despite our limited budget."  And so the profligate use bothers you, because it means now you have to go get more and spend more money that you may not have.  But that's not your job.  Your job is: (1) buy sufficient food to keep your family fed; (2) stay within budget; and (3) help your daughter learn good habits.  So as long as your grocery shopping meets (1) and (2), and you set a good example/let your daughter experience the pain of running out, you have done your job, and done it well.  The rest is on them.

Tl:dr: You can ease your own burden quite significantly by not taking mental responsibility for your family's choices.  You get to decide what you can afford; they get to decide what to eat when.
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mm1970

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2017, 12:43:55 PM »
Thanks everyone for the responses. I'm still reading all of them.

When I  was a kid, I didn't waste like this. Maybe a little here and there, not on the grand scale I've seen with my child and even with some of her friends. We only had 3 meals a day, no snacks. My parents were not well off. Over-consuming food was not an option.

I wonder if I should start rationing food in a similar way. "Once we run out, I'm not buying any more of this for two more weeks".

I did this with bread for a while. We were going through more loaves per week than we should have been.  My husband and daughter would make these big piles of toast and then leave them sitting out. My daughter would butter all the toast then leave it. I started buying only one loaf per grocery store trip, even though they complained that they wanted me to buy several loaves. It feels mean rationing  food but that is what I have to do, I guess.
I've done that.  When we run out, they have to eat something else.

The milk thing - I put the leftover cup of milk in the fridge for later.  If they don't finish their dinner or lunch, it goes in the fridge for later.

So, if they don't eat lunch, they get it for dinner.  IF they don't finish their dinner and are hungry right before bed, they get it then.

caracarn

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #17 on: July 14, 2017, 12:58:41 PM »
My husband...... would make these big piles of toast and then leave them sitting out.

I scanned down through the responses and saw not one called this out.

I mean, OMG!  THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM!  Your husband is modeling waste for your daughter.  Until your husband stops being wasteful you will be helpless with your kids not to mention setting yourself up to be rightfully called a hypocrite by your child because dad does it!  Waste infuriates me as well, and seeing this blew my top!  Tell your husband to step up to the plate and be a good role model.  If he refuses then stop fighting the battle and know you're throwing away money because your marriage partner is a waster.  How you choose to deal with that at that point could start a whole new thread.

Yes, definitely talk to him.  But, honestly, this seems a little extreme.  The DH is a grown-ass man who can manage his own toast intake.  OP is not responsible for his decisions and does not need to try to "fix" him (or view his inability/unwillingness to change as a major character flaw that requires "dealing with" [ominous background music]).   

FWIW, I suspect this issue is just now coming to a head because of the other unmentioned elephant in the room:  your fear that your husband is going to lose his job (which you mention twice).  That sort of financial uncertainty makes you notice the waste more, and makes it more intolerable -- and because that issue is so out of your control, it makes you want to ratchet down exta hard on the things you can control.  Like, say, "fixing" your DD's wasteful habits (and, by implication, your spouse's). 

But this is an excellent way to drive yourself absolutely batshit, because in the end you can never control the decisions made by other independent human beings.  And when they don't do what you want, you get frustrated and feel like a failure, and so you clamp down even more, and the vicious cycle keeps going.  It is also fairly presumptuous, at least as applied to your spouse:  yes, waste is bad -- but putting that issue aside, who's to say it isn't better to enjoy one Giant Sunday Toast Feast than to eat your carefully-apportioned two slices per day?  You need to distinguish the problem behavior (the waste) from the reasonable-choice-you-may-not-agree-with (Toast Feast!  Giant bubble bath!). 

So, again, talk to your husband about the example he sets for the kids.  Set a good example yourself.  Set your kid up for success and teach her what an appropriate portion size is.  Agree with your DH on a food budget, and then buy the food that budget allows.  And then let go.  Because whether that budget provides for one loaf or six, your family gets to choose how it wants to eat whatever is available.  And if they blow it all on Sunday and then on Tuesday are unhappy there isn't any left, oh well -- gee, sorry you're unhappy, I'll be picking up another loaf next week.  A/k/a: not your problem.  Part of learning is also making mistakes; your kid will learn more in the long run by overdoing it and then having to do without than if you control what she is allowed to have. 

To put it another way:  you seem to be viewing your job as "to have bread in the house at all times despite our limited budget."  And so the profligate use bothers you, because it means now you have to go get more and spend more money that you may not have.  But that's not your job.  Your job is: (1) buy sufficient food to keep your family fed; (2) stay within budget; and (3) help your daughter learn good habits.  So as long as your grocery shopping meets (1) and (2), and you set a good example/let your daughter experience the pain of running out, you have done your job, and done it well.  The rest is on them.

Tl:dr: You can ease your own burden quite significantly by not taking mental responsibility for your family's choices.  You get to decide what you can afford; they get to decide what to eat when.
Laura, we're in agreement.  I made the assumption from the poster that this is the norm and not a "Giant Sunday Toast Feast" that happened once and she was just calling out.  My response was based on this being what he does every day.

That said, everything you said I'd second.  You can't control other people, but you can tell them they might want to re-evaluate.  Then you need to let it go.

Laura33

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2017, 01:20:07 PM »
Laura, we're in agreement.  I made the assumption from the poster that this is the norm and not a "Giant Sunday Toast Feast" that happened once and she was just calling out.  My response was based on this being what he does every day.

That said, everything you said I'd second.  You can't control other people, but you can tell them they might want to re-evaluate.  Then you need to let it go.

And to be fair, I think you are right on the facts.  I was just looking for a way to illustrate the difference between the kind of things that are worth focusing on (the waste) and the kind to back off on (how/when to use).  IME, it's easy to conflate the two, and trying to over-control what a kid (or spouse) does usually just makes them more determined to do it their own damn way.* 

And the other bit of it is that ADHD kids (and spouses) tend to prefer more highs and lows -- that kind of personality will frequently choose and thoroughly enjoy a Giant Sunday Toast Feast, even if they know it means no bread later in the week, because it is just more fun to them than having the same boring slice every day.*  So since that is something that normal, "rational" people don't intuitively understand,* I wanted to flag it, because that kind of kid needs as much free rein as possible (within appropriate boundaries) to be herself and make her own decisions.*

*Ask me how I know.  Sigh.
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1967mama

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #19 on: July 15, 2017, 01:51:23 AM »
When our son (now 12) was diagnosed with ADHD, the psychologist told my husband and I that we would have to "be" his frontal lobe much longer than we had been with our other children. It has taken me quite some time to accept that his behavior isn't willful. Hope this helps! ((((HUGS))))

The following is cut and pasted from spinalcord.com:

Some of the many functions of the frontal lobe include:

Coordinating voluntary movements, such as walking and reaching for objects. The frontal lobe is home to the primary motor cortex.

Assessing future consequences of current actions. Thus the frontal lobe plays a vital role in impulse control, including decisions about when to spend money and eat, and whether a particular decision is morally or socially acceptable.

Assessing similarities and differences between two objects.

Formation and retention of long-term memories, particularly emotional memories derived from the limbic system.

Language: The frontal lobe plays a role in understanding language, linguistic memories, and speaking.

Emotional expression and regulation, in addition to understanding the emotions of others; empathy may derive from the frontal lobe.

The development of personality. Because of the frontal lobe's roles in memory, emotional regulation, expression, impulse control, and other key functions, it plays a key role in personality. Damage to the frontal lobe can spur sudden and immediate alterations in personality.

Managing reward. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a role in reward and motivation, is heavily active in the frontal lobe because most of the brain's dopamine-sensitive neurons located here.

Attention regulation, including selective attention. Frontal lobe difficulties can lead to executive functioning issues, as well as disorders such as ADHD.

ElleFiji

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #20 on: July 15, 2017, 08:04:19 AM »
Laura33 and 1967mama. Thanks for sweetly saying all the things I wanted to say.

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #21 on: July 15, 2017, 12:49:51 PM »
We definitely make the kids pay for stuff they are wasteful with, and then keep a separate stash for ourselves.  Tape is a prime suspect in our house too.

If they dumped out a bottle of shampoo, hey that's cool, I'm not mad, but you are handing over allowance money to replace it.

Basically it's no big thing if they waste their own money, they'll learn eventually. But they aren't wasting mine. 

That is part of why I love allowance. They can't feel financial consequences unless they have money.
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Cassie

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2017, 04:32:06 PM »
I think both the allowance idea and also not buying more of whatever it is until it would be the normal time to buy more of an item.  My kids had allowances. Also when they were little like age 8 they had to ask for a snack and I got it. They were not allowed to just get it themselves until they were old enough not to do this type of thing.

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2017, 05:03:00 PM »
I can't speak to the difficulties that ADHD adds, but we've done a number of things that have kept things in check in these areas:

Food:  We eat virtually all meals with our kid.  It is very rare that he eats on his own, and this is in large part by design.  I made it a priority as a dad to always be able to eat dinner as a family, and do my best to also have breakfast be at least a dad plus kid affair most of the time (usually lets mom get her shower and such in peace).  We have a you-take-it-you-eat-it policy, and enforce it.  Food we put on his plate is up for discussion (we take requests and honor veto's, but ask he tries things).  The result is meal times are pretty tame, but it has taken a lot of effort and vigilance to to get where we are today.  We adjust what he is allowed or even required to handle himself as he is capable and responsible.  Your kiddo can't handle milk and cereal, take back control of those so that you must be present when she makes a bowl and food is finished before playtime resumes.  Snacks should really not be "free range" at 8 anyway.  Juice is unhealthy for kids, barely better than sugar water (look into it, it is not some hippy crunchy idea).  Ration juice for special occasions, not for free consumption.  Use whole fruits in lieu of juice.

Supplies:  Our kid has an art cart full of scrap paper, pens, pencils, paper, tape, etc.  We had issues with excessive glue related messes and worked with him and almost took away the glue, but he figured it out in time.  Make a dedicated art supplies spot, restock it as you see fit.  If stuff runs out, too bad.  Don't cave in to crying, whining, or other "drama".

Allowance:  We've docked our kids allowance (well took money out of his "spend jar") just once, for hitting mom and after some build up.  He was devastated.  Then he was sorry.  We never had to do it again.  Find the kids pain point, use it very sparingly.  We've made our kid spend his own money for special requests (he wanted "special" cereal and picked out Honey Nut Cheerios that he then paid for at age 4).  Maybe you can start "selling" the tape, then it is hers to waste.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2017, 05:10:04 PM by moof »

Goldielocks

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #24 on: July 30, 2017, 03:05:01 PM »
I had to put out only small amounts in the free access areas, and put away the the extra, or more than a week long supply into the pantry (kids not to go into the pantry).

This included all but one roll of tape, soda / chips, snack foods, craft supplies, all messy craft supplies, etc. 
If wasted, the new item would come out after a week.  The key was limiting how much was available at one time and not replacing right away.

And yes, I would still find things like all my pots removed from the cupboards, or all the cheerios used to make large letter patterns on the carpet. All the clothes used to make a fort in the backyard, then left in the mud, that sort of thing.


Good luck.  It takes time, and I bet ADHD is longer than for my kids, but around the end of grade 1 it was less of a problem (except for the snack foods and the craft supplies!).

Veganbikeruncommuter666

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #25 on: July 30, 2017, 10:22:56 PM »
buy her  fidger spinner

dreaming

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #26 on: August 04, 2017, 06:24:07 PM »
I agree with MayDay.  If my kids lose something, either they do without, or they buy it again themselves.  I have always told them I will buy the first one, they get to buy a replacement.  The exception is for clothing/shoes.  If they grow out of the stuff, I will buy it.  But hats/gloves/sweatshirts have gone missing and replacements have been bought by them.

I like the idea that laura said regarding cereal.  Have her prepare it herself though.  It  might help her learn what is an acceptable amount to use.

Goldielocks

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Re: How to get kid to stop wasting food and other resources
« Reply #27 on: August 04, 2017, 08:11:23 PM »
HI OP, I keep thinking about you.  When my kids were under 8, this series of books seemed to describe my daughter...

Enjoy!
Jillian Jiggs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDsC7-Q1GZU