Author Topic: How I Pay For Chores  (Read 1311 times)

ScentedwithDiscovery

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How I Pay For Chores
« on: May 02, 2018, 01:40:26 PM »
With having a 6 year old and 3 year old I am always questioning my parenting skills. Seriously my analytical brain won't shut up if I am doing this correctly. Anyways one idea I came up with (I swear I didn't read it on a blog) is to pay my kids for chores depending on many factors. There is no set prices (not even a salary). I base what they will earn on multiple factors, how much effort did they put into the task, did they fight, did they go the extra mile, did they learn something new and tell me about it. This has helped to make chores a little more exciting and gets them to understand adulthood and we make $$$ based on the effort we put into whatever we are doing.

Let me know if you do this as well and what ages your kids are. :)

nessness

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2018, 12:01:51 PM »
My oldest is only 3, but I don't plan to pay for chores. They will get an allowance and will be required to do chores, but the two won't be linked together.

To be honest, your system seems overly complicated and like it will result in a lot of whining about what's "fair."

erutio

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2018, 02:45:50 PM »
My son is 6 and my daughter turns 4 next week.  What age do you all start with allowances?

ontheway2

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2018, 02:57:38 PM »
IDK. I was told a rate before I began my job, and it let me help decide if I wanted it or not.  I can not imagine working for anyone that told me they would determine my compensation once the job was complete.

We tried multiple allowance/compensation methods starting when my oldest was around 8.  None really stuck until he turned 12 and started doing more outside of the house with his friends.  We decided to give him his entertainment money for the month to budget vs us prioritizing his social life for him. Required chores are done for no compensation, and optional paid chores are available.
The youngest just turned 6, and he is on an allowance too now since he is a natural spender and this seems to be a way to limit the requests along with teching him that money is finite.

GizmoTX

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2018, 03:19:58 PM »
We started an allowance when DS was old enough to understand money and started begging for stuff. We let him know that we expected him to pay for stuff he wanted. That stopped the begging and it was amazing how many things he no longer wanted when it would deplete his stash. We maintained veto power over any inappropriate items, which was rare, & coached him as he grew on how to shop, get the best value, save for more costly items (deferred gratification), & eventually how to invest.

He was expected to do chores, but this was not tied to his allowance -- we did not want him to choose not to do his chores if he ever decided he didn't need the money. Instead, he lost privileges & activities, & knew we were disappointed. For him, that was an effective deterrent.

milliemchi

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2018, 09:06:18 PM »
We give an allowance, with no strings attached, and not withheld as punishment, we give chores/tasks, which are mandatory and not tied to allowance, and we give jobs which are paid a certain amount, decided ahead of time, and which they are free to decline. Chores are your run-of-the mill stuff such as laundry, dishes, sweeping, etc. Jobs are things that I have paid people to do in the past (wash fridge, cut hair), deep-cleaning type of cleaning, or tasks that save me money (create a birthday card for friend so I don't have to pay for one). Their earnings (jobs only) go to their Roth IRAs, but I match in cash, 50-100%, depending on job.

And then, my daughter could not be less interested in money (she has misplaced more than spent, I'd wager), and my son, who gets $1/week allowance had received $40 for his 5th bday from a friend who wasn't around to get a b-day gift. So, I don't really have an opportunity to teach the connection between work and pay - for now.

Rubic

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2018, 10:39:35 AM »
He was expected to do chores, but this was not tied to his allowance -- we did not want him to choose not to do his chores if he ever decided he didn't need the money. Instead, he lost privileges & activities, & knew we were disappointed. For him, that was an effective deterrent.

I've heard this is the best approach with children.  Separate money management
(and delayed gratification) from the personal responsibility of being a member of
the family household.


Aocean

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2018, 06:14:12 AM »
Our younger son doesn’t get an allowance since he really doesn’t yet understand or care about money (he’s three). Our older son (8 years old) doesn’t get an allowance per se. When  he goes to the grocery store with us, we allow him to return cans and keep the money if he makes it through the shopping with good behavior. This usually amounts to about a dollar per week. He also has chores that he is required to do and activities that he can do for money if he wants. He’s a pretty decent saver when it comes to using his own money and we still buy him all necessities and books so there’s not a lot he would buy with his money anyway.

Cassie

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2018, 08:56:32 AM »
We did not link chores to allowance because as a member of the family everyone is expected to contribute. As a adult your spouse will except you to help and you won’t get paid 😂

moof

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2018, 11:18:57 PM »
We started at $0.50 per year of age starting at 4.  We run a socialist household, allowance is not tied to chores.  Chores have slowly grown, and he is good about doing them.  A couple times he has gone the extra mile and gotten bonus money, or bonus dessert.  Only once did he lose his allowance for hitting.

Growing up my poor mother tried to run a capitalist system with per chore allowance.  It was a mess and didn’t work worth a darn.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2018, 11:24:25 PM by moof »

TheWifeHalf

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2018, 01:35:05 PM »
This was 30 years ago:

When our kids were 3, they got some money each Saturday. We told them Daddy goes to work and what he earns he shares with his family. They got $1 for each year of age, so a 3 yr old would get $3.
Automatically, half goes into their college fund, kept at the bank. I remember Saturdays we'd load them all up and go to the bank so they could deposit it  in their savings accounts. Half of what was left went into an envelope marked 'Short term savings.'  We told them this was money they had to talk to Mommy or Daddy about what they wanted to spend it on, and after we talked about it, they could make the ultimate decision of buying that particular thing , or not.

The rest was theirs and they could spend it on whatever they wanted, no discussion needed.

We did not pay for chores. They had things that were their responsibility, as part of the family, and whenever Mom or Dad had to do that chore, they owed us money, taken out of their short term savings, or future allowances. Taking it out of short term savings seemed to be more effective.

I do remember telling them all that all clothing must be off the floor of their bedrooms, or their bedroom doors had to be closed. I just didn't want to see it.  The boys did this religiously, but our daughter decided keeping her door closed was better than picking up her clothes every morning, and putting it away. (They had all learned, from an early age, that Daddy put his dirty clothes and towel in the appropriate laundry basket in the laundry room, so they did too.) So, none of our daughter's clothes were dirty.

They owed me 25 cents for every clothing item I had to pick up.
Same with the family room when it had to be cleaned. They got 1 hour after I told them they had to pick up their stuff in the family room, before I would come in and pick it up myself, for 25 cents each.

When TheHusbandHalf was out of work, and working temp jobs for 3 months, they did not get money, because he didn't have enough to share.

The kids were allowed 3 school activities that M & D would pay for (scouts, t ball, zoo classes, art classes, LEJGA, etc) that we would pay for. I can't remember any time that there were more than 3 each kid.

The main reason we gave the kids money is because we thought that was the way they would learn how to use it. Our daughter went through a bit of learning while she was in high school, and still seems to overspend in our opinion, but maybe not. Unless she brings it up, we don't mention it.
The boys seem to handle $ well
All 3 bought houses before they were 29. I guess one thing they learned from mom and dad- don't buy a house that has to be fixed up!

The bank we used opened when I was a kid about 2 miles from here. it had a main branch in a town about 15 miles from here, so it was a really small town bank. They seem to be expanding now, and got bought by another, so the name has changed. A lot of the same people though.
I remember when our oldest bought his house he wen to the main bank. He came home and said the gal he talked to said he should thanks us, so he was.

I think the house was 165,000, and he was going to put down $65,000. The gal told him if he put down enough so the loan was under 100,000 he'd get a better mortgage rate, so he did. He was 29, but like all my kids, looks younger, and he said she commended him on being able to save, and commended him on his whole demeanor.
That was all on him though, we think he was born a little adult!

gaja

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2018, 02:50:07 PM »
We started our system when the kids were around 3. At the start, they were paid in stickers, but soon we transferred those into cash.

We have to sets of chores:
A) Stuff you do because you are part of the family and things that only benefit yourself; cleaning you own room, your own laundry, helping with setting the table, helping us clean the house, etc
B) Stuff that remove work from my to do-list (done without nagging); cleaning the bathrooms, planning and making day dinner, changing all the beds, doing everyone’s laundry, etc

All tasks on both lists are known, all prices are agreed upon. If something new pops up, we negotiate whether it is within the paid list or not, and what the tariff should be. I remember from my childhood how much I hated micromanagement, so I would not use OP’s method of adjustable rates.

My two kids have very different takes on money. The oldest is willing to work a lot, and likes spending money on snacks (weekend only), clothes, and toys. The younger is much lazier, but doesn’t spend any money either. So she usually has more in her account. They are 10 and 11, and both have debit cards, saving accounts, and index funds.

The oldest got full responsibility for the family economy through the month of January, and did very well. She achieved a savings rate of 50% (normally we are at 30-40%).
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robartsd

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2018, 04:51:28 PM »
They owed me 25 cents for every clothing item I had to pick up.
Same with the family room when it had to be cleaned. They got 1 hour after I told them they had to pick up their stuff in the family room, before I would come in and pick it up myself, for 25 cents each.
I like this idea of  a fixed fee for not meeting expectations. There could be a fine for fighting in addition to the fee to pick up their things.

We started our system when the kids were around 3. At the start, they were paid in stickers, but soon we transferred those into cash.

We have to sets of chores:
A) Stuff you do because you are part of the family and things that only benefit yourself; cleaning you own room, your own laundry, helping with setting the table, helping us clean the house, etc
B) Stuff that remove work from my to do-list (done without nagging); cleaning the bathrooms, planning and making day dinner, changing all the beds, doing everyone’s laundry, etc

All tasks on both lists are known, all prices are agreed upon. If something new pops up, we negotiate whether it is within the paid list or not, and what the tariff should be. I remember from my childhood how much I hated micromanagement, so I would not use OP’s method of adjustable rates.
I agree that a fixed pay for satisfactory completion of a job is the way to go. Clearly going the extra mile could also be rewarded with a "bonus".

Jesstache

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2018, 01:06:55 AM »
We have a 4 year old and a 7 year old.  Starting at 4, they get $2/week and $1 has to go into savings and the allowance goes up $1 each year on their birthday.  I let them decide if the extra $1 goes to savings or spending.  The 7 year old has always decided to put the extra into savings every year.  So each week she gets $1 to spend and $4 into savings!  Hopefully the 4 year old follows in her footsteps. 

Like others, it's not tied to chores and they get it regardless.  I have been known to charge them a nickel each time I find an unflushed toilet!  They are expected to do chores as a part of the family.  Generally, they don't get screen time until they have done their chores (make bed, feed their fish, dressed for the day, dirty clothes in hamper).  They can earn extra by picking up dog poop each day and that's good for a quarter.  In the future, we'll probably add more tasks with set payouts whenever I come up with something else I dislike doing, ha!

talltexan

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2018, 07:15:25 AM »
This was 30 years ago:

When our kids were 3, they got some money each Saturday. We told them Daddy goes to work and what he earns he shares with his family. They got $1 for each year of age, so a 3 yr old would get $3.

When TheHusbandHalf was out of work, and working temp jobs for 3 months, they did not get money, because he didn't have enough to share.


I've been lucky to not have a labor interruption in my adult life. If I were in this position, I don't know that I would reduce allowances all the way to zero. Philosophically, I tend more towards protecting children from the labor-market risks that affect the parents' income. Were I FIRE'D and in the midst of a bear market, I'd feel the same conflict about reducing my childrens' lifestyle because of the performance of risky assets that they could not control.

My own mother had a tough time getting steady employment during many of my single-digit years, but my parents didn't give me a formal allowance until some years after this period.

Mezzie

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2018, 07:24:38 AM »
Have you read The Opposite of Spoiled? It explores various allowance scenarios and their pros and cons.

I was paid per chore in a highly subjective way like you describe, and it made me very bitter about chores. I still harbor some of that animosity towards chores to this day, in fact. Proceed with caution.

Personally, I'd think there should be something like a set expectation of help with the house and a base allowance not connected to that. If they want to earn more, there might be extra seasonal work, babysitting a sibling, or other activities that go above and beyond for extra pay.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2018, 03:42:21 AM by Mezzie »
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TheWifeHalf

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Re: How I Pay For Chores
« Reply #16 on: May 30, 2018, 07:43:50 AM »

I like this idea of  a fixed fee for not meeting expectations. There could be a fine for fighting in addition to the fee to pick up their things.


The first time or 2 that my kids 'fought,' they were really just arguments, if I heard it starting to escalate, they were told something. "Do you want ME to settle it? Once or twice they decided to just let Mom settle it. Usually that ended in me just taking whatever they were arguing over, so it didn't take long for them to just do it themselves.
I watched pretty closely for one taking advantage of another, so made sure that didn't happen.