Start preliminary groundwork for getting a local "tribe" right the hell now. It's fairly easy to deal with having a widely dispersed support group of friends/family before kids, but after kids the type of support required is hands-on and immediate-- just having someone to play with the baby while you finally get the laundry done is like some sort of miracle, and fun for the visitor as well.
Which is to say: get to know your neighbors, if at all possible. By that, I mean that if you've nodded to this person on the eighty times you've passed them on the sidewalk, take a moment to say "I'm so sorry, I don't know if I ever introduced myself...", laugh over the fact that neither one of you got to this point before, make a gracious exit, and then write their name down later so you can remind yourself. Being able to greet people by name immediately means that soon you'll be able to have a short conversation! Someday you may be able to have them pet-sit!
If there is a park/playground near you, you and your wife should a walk past/through it on a pretty regular basis so that you're on at least nodding acquaintance with the regulars. (And after the baby is born, do this, too-- the #1 way to get to talk to other adults when you have a small child is to be where other kids are playing.)
Research community stuff in your area. Apparently (we did not know this at the time!) our local park district has a drop-in play group for little kids once a week! That would have been useful knowledge. Libraries often have drop-in story-time for parents with tiny little kids-- in fact, the more you get to know about your local library, the better, because ours apparently has LOADS of stuff available for kids and we didn't know this for a solid year.
If you are church-type folks, ask around to see what kind of support is available. I assumed that my church was better off without me there, while my kiddo was tiny, because I couldn't do anything to help-- it did not occur to me that they might be excited to help out and that I would be the better for it. (Churches, of course, vary wildly, so if you're church-shopping at the moment, make sure to check into what kind of behavior is expected for kids and-- crucially-- if there appears to be anyone there with very small children. The absence of people with wee kiddos can indicate that the congregation is judgy of people who can't keep their kids still.)
Basically: the more community you have when you spawn a small human, the better.
Also-- I know this is a rough one to consider-- in the event of miscarriage, you/your wife will also need a community for help. I-- and maybe 60% of the women I know-- have had a miscarriage at one point or another, and it's hellishly rough, especially because of the culture of secrecy around it and because that secrecy means that we don't have a social ritual to go with it that isn't "ignore that it happened, proceed as normal, feel hideously ashamed if anyone actually knows about it". My advice, if this happens, is to let people know and to let them know exactly how they can help-- bring over food, give you a hug, etc.-- because otherwise a lot of people will just flail around and not know what the hell to do.
...actually, it is helpful to have a list of ways people can help when you have a newborn, too! Food is generally at the top of the list, followed by "willingness to deal with the giant stack of dishes, vacuum, or do a load of laundry." It's amazing what kind of support you can get when you ask for things.
Speaking of which, when people offer to give you their baby stuff, don't feel bad about it, and accept graciously. Getting shit out of the basement/closet is a huge thing for parents. Likewise, go ahead and case the local thrift stores, because kid stuff-- particularly under the age of two-- is seldom used for more than a few months and sometimes is brand-new with tags on because some relative bought something without doing the math about what the weather would be like when the child was X months old (or, honestly, because there were so many hand-me-downs that it was impossible to actually wear all of them).
And if you feel weird about maybe needing to ask for help at some point, you now have most of the year to do things for other people-- offer to babysit your friend's kids, bring over food, host a party, etc. Awesome for everyone!
