Author Topic: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?  (Read 2411 times)

jeromedawg

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Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« on: August 09, 2017, 12:30:30 AM »
Hey all,

Was wondering how early you had any of your kids start sharing a room? We have an almost 2yr old and a 5mo old. By the time he's 2 she'll be 6 months and we're hoping to start transitioning her into the crib and our son into a daybed. We're probably going to have to rearrange furniture but he'd be on a daybed and likely in the same room at this point. We're not confident she can sleep through the night though, but I hear the older kids will "get used to it" - not sure if that's the same context though in the case that my wife needs to feed her because she probably won't go back to sleep.

Does it sound like this is probably too soon to try? Or will both kids just adapt and be fine? If mom comes into feed the younger one, I'm pretty sure big brother will wake up and not want to go back to sleep though... but I also don't know if he would end up just sleeping through all of it.

BeanCounter

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2017, 04:42:07 AM »
They will be fine. The older one will sleep through baby noises. But for everyone's sanity, this is a good time to start getting baby to sleep through the night. As long as your doctor says baby is healthy and weighs enough, she does not need to still be fed in the middle of the night. This means that for the next two weeks or so when baby wakes up, daddy needs to put baby back to sleep until she gets used to not being fed. Because if mom goes in, and she smells the milk baby will scream until she gets what she wants. I think once you fix that it will be easier to transition them to the same room.
I nursed both my children 13 months and I was so greatfull that at the three month mark my doctor weighed them and explained to me that they don't need to eat in the middle of the night anymore and this is how you break that habit. She said "if every time you woke up at two am someone gave you an ice cream cone, what would you do? You would keep getting up at two am. No more ice cream at two am!" Totally saved my sanity because I had read all those silly nursing books about feeding on demand.

GuitarStv

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2017, 06:53:07 AM »
I know that I would be exhausted and groggy form constantly being woken up if forced to share a room with a six month old.  I'd be concerned about the same with your two year old.  My approach would be to experiment for a few weeks and see if the older kid seems to be OK with it, or exhausted/cranky all the time.

MrsDinero

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2017, 07:32:55 AM »
We tried it for several months with our toddler and infant.  They are 11.5 months apart.  Everyone said they would get used to each other and they did to a certain extent.  We didn't try until the infant was sleeping through the night which for us was about 6 months old.  They both went to bed at the same time and stayed asleep all night, but the infant is an early bird and the toddler isn't a morning person.  So while the nights were good, the infant starts to wake around 5:30am each morning.  This would wake up the toddler who would not go back to sleep once we entered the room to get the baby.  The toddler would then be VERY grumpy and and would take a nap a couple of hours later, then wake up happy.

We decided to give them separate rooms for now because we feel solid sleep is more important that sharing a room right now.  The infant is now sometimes sleeping until about 6:30 on some days, but it is not consistent.  The toddler consistently sleeps until 8-8:30am every day.

The plan is to still have them share but maybe we will try again in about a year when the toddler goes to preschool and has to get up earlier.  We have a 3 bedroom house so we have the space.  The infants room doubles as the guest room so when we have a guest stay over, once a month, the infant will sleep in the toddlers room. 

ETA:  Both are still in cribs.  When the infant sleeps in the toddler's room he will sleep in a pack n' play.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2017, 08:41:07 AM by MrsDinero »

NeonPegasus

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2017, 07:50:01 AM »
First of all, is your toddler still in a crib? If so, DO NOT CHANGE THAT. That is the best thing in the world. My oldest stayed in hers until at least 2.5. The youngest started jumping out of hers at 14 mo. Guess which scenario sucked way more? If you're trying to avoid buying a second crib, see if you can borrow one for the baby for awhile. Or use a pack n play for the baby or something. It was an absolute disaster dealing with the 14 mo old being out of a crib.

The only way you'll know for sure about whether sharing a room will work is to try it. As one pp pointed out, I think the main issue will be waking the toddler up too early for the day. Alternatively, if your toddler is an early riser, s/he could wake the baby up too early.

FTMP, I did not have my girls share a room until the youngest was out of a crib. The oldest bunked with the middle for several years and now the middle and youngest bunk together. They never seemed to have trouble staying asleep in spite of noises made by the other. Every so often, the youngest has a nightmare and calls for me. It's loud enough to wake me up in a room down the hall but her sister never stirs.

mm1970

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2017, 10:08:56 AM »
Ours started sharing a room when the younger was 10 months.

MBot

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2017, 10:20:47 PM »
They will be fine. The older one will sleep through baby noises. But for everyone's sanity, this is a good time to start getting baby to sleep through the night. As long as your doctor says baby is healthy and weighs enough, she does not need to still be fed in the middle of the night. This means that for the next two weeks or so when baby wakes up, daddy needs to put baby back to sleep until she gets used to not being fed. Because if mom goes in, and she smells the milk baby will scream until she gets what she wants. I think once you fix that it will be easier to transition them to the same room.
I nursed both my children 13 months and I was so greatfull that at the three month mark my doctor weighed them and explained to me that they don't need to eat in the middle of the night anymore and this is how you break that habit. She said "if every time you woke up at two am someone gave you an ice cream cone, what would you do? You would keep getting up at two am. No more ice cream at two am!" Totally saved my sanity because I had read all those silly nursing books about feeding on demand.

I remember you posted the "ice cream" anecdote in another thread. I found it VERY helpful in staying strong and letting my little guy find his sleep at night. THANK YOU.

Also we have a second coming soon in a similar age gap to OP, so thanks for the other advice too!

BeanCounter

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2017, 04:10:00 AM »
They will be fine. The older one will sleep through baby noises. But for everyone's sanity, this is a good time to start getting baby to sleep through the night. As long as your doctor says baby is healthy and weighs enough, she does not need to still be fed in the middle of the night. This means that for the next two weeks or so when baby wakes up, daddy needs to put baby back to sleep until she gets used to not being fed. Because if mom goes in, and she smells the milk baby will scream until she gets what she wants. I think once you fix that it will be easier to transition them to the same room.
I nursed both my children 13 months and I was so greatfull that at the three month mark my doctor weighed them and explained to me that they don't need to eat in the middle of the night anymore and this is how you break that habit. She said "if every time you woke up at two am someone gave you an ice cream cone, what would you do? You would keep getting up at two am. No more ice cream at two am!" Totally saved my sanity because I had read all those silly nursing books about feeding on demand.

I remember you posted the "ice cream" anecdote in another thread. I found it VERY helpful in staying strong and letting my little guy find his sleep at night. THANK YOU.

Also we have a second coming soon in a similar age gap to OP, so thanks for the other advice too!
Oh that is awesome that it helped you too. I would have never survived the early years if our doctor hadn't taught us about sleep training and setting limits.
The great thing about the second child is that if the first one is well trained it never even occurs to the second one to test boundaries about going to bed. My guys still share a room and it works beautifully. They help each other out and keep each other company. Christmas morning I found them up early, in bed together talking about what Santa might have brought and what Mommy was making for breakfast. I dread the day they ask to be apart.
Congrats MBot on your new addition! It only gets more fun!

Louisville

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2017, 06:17:43 AM »
I have two 15 months apart. They slept in the same room from jump street until about 4 years old. I don't recall any problems with it.

acroy

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2017, 07:00:48 AM »
They'll both be fine. Kids adapt very quickly.
Above posters are correct about night-time feedings too. train her out of it at 5/6 months max.

enjoy those littles!
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Freedom2016

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2017, 08:45:36 PM »
Our kids (boy/girl) have shared a room since the younger was about 3 months old (older one 2.5 years older). The elder is a great sleeper and rarely stirs at the noises of the younger. They're now 5+ and 2.5+ and do great together. We will keep this up until the older starts wanting/needing privacy...which I hear might not happen for another 4-5 years.

dumbblond

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #11 on: September 01, 2017, 01:15:32 PM »
I'll echo what others have said--it is completely reasonable to have them share. We have two who are 16mo apart, and they started sharing when the younger was consistently sleeping through the night (DD was 20mo, DS was 4mo).

Just know that it usually means when one wakes up for the day, they will probably both be awake. During the night, they do fine sleeping through the other kid's noise, but if it's close to when they would be awake anyway, one tends to wake up the other. We've gotten used to it, and we'll be adding a third to the craziness in that room eventually...but there are still days (at least once a week) where I wish they could be in separate rooms during their nap. If your kids tend to sleep for the same amount of times at naps, it should work out fine...otherwise, it can mean dealing with a little extra grumpiness in the afternoon because someone got woken up before they were really ready.

BAM

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2017, 06:38:41 PM »
You can always put them in different rooms just for naps. Set up a pack n play in your room for nap time use. Or move the one you have back and forth (a pain, but can be worth it). Or even have the older of the two nap in your bed - just stay near until they fall asleep if you are afraid they'll get into something they shouldn't.

BeanCounter

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2017, 06:55:30 AM »
You can always put them in different rooms just for naps. Set up a pack n play in your room for nap time use. Or move the one you have back and forth (a pain, but can be worth it). Or even have the older of the two nap in your bed - just stay near until they fall asleep if you are afraid they'll get into something they shouldn't.
+1 when our oldest was still napping, we put the baby down in their shared room for a nap and then would lay down with the oldest in our bed. We didn't get a lot accomplished during these naps, but everyone in the family was well slept!!

LadyMuMu

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Re: Having a 2yr old and 6mo old share a room?
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2017, 06:52:10 PM »
I don't have advice, but our kids shared a room starting at 20 and 3 months. The older one could sleep through anything, including early morning feedings. I'd sneak in just before I went to sleep at night to "top off" the baby so he'd sleep until 4-6 am. We later built bunk beds for them but didn't stack them right away. They're now 8 and 10 and we've moved. We "could" have separate rooms for them, but I think learning to share space is a life skill too many people don't have when they go to college/get an apartment with a roommate/get married, etc.