Author Topic: Family Infant Care Questions  (Read 2558 times)

alwayslearning

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Family Infant Care Questions
« on: February 03, 2016, 09:13:47 AM »
My mom has offered to watch our baby 3 times a week once I have to return to work after maternity leave. I feel so blessed to have her help, but I'm also confused about how this new arrangement is going to work. Hope you can help!

For all of those parents who are having their families help with childcare and breastfeed/cloth diaper -

1. How much pumped milk do you bring for your child?
2. Did you provide all of the extras i.e. highchair, cups, bowls, spoons?
3. Did you pay your family member anything for helping out?
4. What is your cloth diaper routine? Did you simply bring home the dirty diapers daily or have them rinse at their house?
5. How often do you have to pump while at the office?

Thanks in advance for all of your help!
« Last Edit: February 03, 2016, 09:15:53 AM by alwayslearning »

LadyMaWhiskers

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2016, 09:25:06 AM »
My mom watches my son 3 days per week too. She has the basics at her house too: high chair, crib, toys, diapers, feeding gear. We do disposables, so that's easier. She has some bottles and we sort of shuffle them back and forth.

Pump twice a day at work and bring one day's stash with baby each day. It's not an exact science, but that's a good place to start. If you can pump once in the morning before you go back to work you can get a good freezer stash going, which is good for nights out or in a pinch, and will give you peace of mind.

alwayslearning

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2016, 11:56:27 AM »
My mom watches my son 3 days per week too. She has the basics at her house too: high chair, crib, toys, diapers, feeding gear. We do disposables, so that's easier. She has some bottles and we sort of shuffle them back and forth.

Pump twice a day at work and bring one day's stash with baby each day. It's not an exact science, but that's a good place to start. If you can pump once in the morning before you go back to work you can get a good freezer stash going, which is good for nights out or in a pinch, and will give you peace of mind.

Do you offer any sort of payment to your mom? My mom hasn't asked for anything, but I'd like to help somehow, since she's saving us a lot of money each month.

bogart

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2016, 01:14:16 PM »
I think the person whose input you need most is your moms and that you should discuss these questions with her.  If you don't have the kind of mom where you can discuss these issues with her (and certainly that is possible), I think a situation where she is providing you with regular childcare may prove nerve-wracking for everyone involved.

Here are my answers to your questions when I was similarly situated --

1. How much pumped milk do you bring for your child?
Despite extensive pumping (and nursing) I never did produce enough milk, so used formula (powdered) as well (i.e. I breastfed, but not exclusively).  Obviously it was easier to have the formula used by other care providers, so that's what I did.  Unless you are hoping to avoid formula altogether, I'd recommend having a can, even if just a small can, handy when you first leave your baby with your mom, that way if she ever runs short of milk (if you didn't bring enough), she's got an alternative.

2. Did you provide all of the extras i.e. highchair, cups, bowls, spoons?
I don't think so, but this seems like a question best directed to your mom -- what would she like to provide and what do you need to bring?  What would she like you to purchase so she has them handy?

3. Did you pay your family member anything for helping out?
No, but once a week my mom and I (and my son) met for breakfast at a local food co-op, my treat.  Then she took DS and I went to work.  Provided a nice chance to catch up and to communicate about plans for the week ahead.

4. What is your cloth diaper routine? Did you simply bring home the dirty diapers daily or have them rinse at their house?
My mom kept her own set (provided by me) and washed them at her home, way easier than hauling them back and forth and she was unflustered by this being part of the routine.  Yours may feel differently.  Her also having several changes of clothes for your baby that just stay at her house is probably a good idea, there are always "those days."  My mom still keeps a couple of changes of clothes for my son, and he's now an elementary schooler.  The cause of problems has changed (now it's muddy soccer fields, then it was spit up and poop), but the problems persist.

5. How often do you have to pump while at the office?
I typically pumped 3 times/day at work (mid-morning, lunch, mid-afternoon), but -- see above.  No idea if what I did was typical.

alwayslearning

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2016, 01:28:08 PM »
I think the person whose input you need most is your moms and that you should discuss these questions with her.  If you don't have the kind of mom where you can discuss these issues with her (and certainly that is possible), I think a situation where she is providing you with regular childcare may prove nerve-wracking for everyone involved.


You're right, I definitely will talk to my mom about these questions. She's awesome - very easy going and will likely offer to pay for everything (which I wouldn't want her to do, so I was just trying to get some ideas on how everyone else was making it work). I couldn't be more grateful that she's offered to help us out and that she wants to spend so much time with her grandchild. I think she would laugh if I tried to pay her, so the breakfast date is perfect!  I love the advice on the formula, clothes, and breakfast. I didn't even think about those! Thanks for your help. 

charis

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2016, 01:53:43 PM »
If she's anything like my mom and mil, who wish they could watch my kids more, she would be thrilled with breakfast (or lunch or dinner) idea, but completely reject any payment.

LadyMaWhiskers

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2016, 11:12:08 PM »
My mom watches my son 3 days per week too. She has the basics at her house too: high chair, crib, toys, diapers, feeding gear. We do disposables, so that's easier. She has some bottles and we sort of shuffle them back and forth.

Pump twice a day at work and bring one day's stash with baby each day. It's not an exact science, but that's a good place to start. If you can pump once in the morning before you go back to work you can get a good freezer stash going, which is good for nights out or in a pinch, and will give you peace of mind.

Do you offer any sort of payment to your mom? My mom hasn't asked for anything, but I'd like to help somehow, since she's saving us a lot of money each month.

I do not. We joke about her fees a lot, exchange routing info for direct deposit when she commits a serious grandma win, etc.

This depends a lot on the circumstances of everyone's lives and their finances. My mom is in a financial position where she is strategizing to avoid federal estate taxes. I had a moment of panic before return from maternity leave and almost FIRE'd right then and there. Part of my rationale for returning to work was how I felt I couldn't let her down from her excitement of the babysitting gig! I'm glad I didn't panic and did return to work.

But she would not take money from me. Most grandmas I know would not, but of course you should offer if it feels right in your circumstances. Some nice in-kind offering to grandma is always appreciated too, whether that's homemade meals, household help, yard help, etc.

nessness

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2016, 04:24:44 AM »
The amount of milk DD drank varied by age but it probably averaged around 15 oz. I had to pump 3 times at work and sometimes in the morning before work to keep up.

I can't really speak to the other questions as we use a daycare, though it definitely sounds reasonable that you should provide all supplies.

mm1970

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2016, 11:39:39 AM »
My mom has offered to watch our baby 3 times a week once I have to return to work after maternity leave. I feel so blessed to have her help, but I'm also confused about how this new arrangement is going to work. Hope you can help!

For all of those parents who are having their families help with childcare and breastfeed/cloth diaper -

1. How much pumped milk do you bring for your child?
2. Did you provide all of the extras i.e. highchair, cups, bowls, spoons?
3. Did you pay your family member anything for helping out?
4. What is your cloth diaper routine? Did you simply bring home the dirty diapers daily or have them rinse at their house?
5. How often do you have to pump while at the office?

Thanks in advance for all of your help!

Didn't have a family member, but did have home daycare
1.  Enough for the full day.  I worked full time #1, and part time with #2.  So, if baby was nursing 3-4 times in that time period, 3-4 bottles.  Of about 4 oz?  I dunno, it depends.  I don't remember really.  But essentially, I'd send what I pumped the day before.

Also, I gave 2-3 freezer packs for the freezer, so if they ran out on a day (growth spurt?) there would be extra.

2.  I pumped once a day with #1, and 2x a day with #2.  Should have been doing it 2-3x for a 6-8 hour workday.  Once was not enough, I got plugged ducts.

My home daycares had bowls and spoons and highchairs.  But if they didn't, then yes, I'd provide them.

mamagoose

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Re: Family Infant Care Questions
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2016, 12:09:19 PM »
My MIL watches our daughter one day each week and also would refuse a "paycheck", so we slip grocery store & gas gift cards in the diaper bag since I don't want her paying out of pocket for diapers, snacks, kid food, etc. She acquired all the baby stuff in her house either from her own attic or yard sales (high chair, trikes...). We bought a convertible car seat for her car, and will soon be buying her a children's museum membership too so they have more options for fun things to do together.