Costs of baby (UK)

[Mercer]

Not sure if this fits best here – but thought people on this bit of the site are most likely to have practical experience! Grateful particularly for UK experience but any thoughts welcome!

My wife is 4 weeks pregnant, and we’re trying to plan financially for pregnancy and the early years with the child. Essentially at question is whether/how much she’ll have to work between now and having the child to make sure we save enough to have some flexibility once the kid’s born. At the moment she’s taking time off work to write a novel, so on zero current income. We can live on my income alone at the moment while still saving a little, and have about £10k as a buffer. But I'm not sure how much having a baby will add to our costs. Mostly thinking of first year or two: my wife is well placed to get decently paid freelance work she can do from home plus we own our house in London and can unlock a fair bit of value by moving to somewhere less expensive, so we're basically well-placed in longer term flexibility/options

So the questions I’m looking to understand are essentially:
a)   What if any are major costs associated with pregnancy itself?
b)   What are the likely up-front costs in getting baby-related paraphernalia in the first year or so?
c)   What are the costs of having a child in ongoing terms for food, clothes etc.

Many thanks!

[cerat0n1a]

Congratulations! Hope everything progresses smoothly. It will all start to seem much more real once you're past 8 weeks and then onto 12 and 20 week scans.

I think babies don't cost very much, certainly not in comparison with the loss of income arising from one of you looking after the baby. You will of course be getting particular brands of buggy/pram, car seats, cot, milk, baby food, nappies, baby toys, starirgates, safety nonsense etc. marketed at you for from now on. To offset that, you may find that you spend rather more time at home (catching up on sleep!) so spending less on entertainment, drink etc. I think few first-time parents appreciate just how all-consuming the first few months are. You'll also get child benefit and tax credits (depending on your income, of course).

In my experience, wanting/starting a family is the cue for many people to move out of London - not just the cost of housing but also schooling and other factors. Amazing difference in childhood experiences between my sons (who were outside playing independently with friends in the village from the age of 6 upwards) vs my godson who lives in Brixton (now aged 12, not really allowed out by himself, all outside school social stuff arranged by mum.)

The real costs come later. My wife was a stay-at-home mum, but for many people, childcare is a pretty big chunk of wages. As the parent of two teenage boys, the cost of food, clothes, transport, activities etc. certainly adds up and there is university to look forward to imminently.

[Sareybox]

In my experience pregnancy cost very little, some folic acid & some maternity clothes, and you can get maternity clothes 2nd hand very cheaply & in great condition as they're only worn for a few months. In fact, I know some friends who have got away without getting specific maternity clothes - just normal clothes in a larger size or stretchy material.

Babies can cost very little too (or you can spend £1000s if you're so inclined) we co-slept with our twins & I breastfed them so we saved a chunk there. Nappies can be expensive, I think cloth nappies may be cheaper. 2nd hand baby / child clothing is very cheap too.

My girls are only 3 so I can't say how expenses may grow when they're older but so far the child benefit has more than covered the extra outgoings.

Our biggest 'cost' was loss of wages, but it sounds like you don't have that issue.

Good luck & congratulations!

[Fbeyer]

Advertising will suck you dry. It's insidious and it's everywhere. I've found that children-related advertising in particular makes you feel bad (along with a lot of societal pressure) when you're exposed to advertising.

I wholeheartedly advice that you get rid of your tv and install an adblocker on your computer. The machine learning algorithms will pick up on your baby related shopping habits immediately and you will drown is advertising. I guarantee it.

Here is the one piece of advice that will save you the absolute most amount of money: Buy things AFTER you find out you need them.

Do not anticipate your needs and buy anything in advance. Besides basic clothes for the first couple of days, nappies and some old used cloth diapers there is very little you need and there is very little that you must have right now, so as long as any one of you is ready to go shopping for the true must-haves you're set.

The amount of toys your child needs is tremendously little. A crinkling chew toy will do for a long time.

To illustrate here is a list of things our daughter plays with around the house:
kitchen bowls, plastic lids, stools, poker chips, dice, board game pieces, the Fatboy bean bag, the swivel chair, paper and mechanical pencils, the bed, the sofa, pillows, blankets, an old cardboard box, spoons and ladels, whisks and spatulas, trivets, tea towels, plastic clamps for sealing one-use plastic bags, stacks of dish cloth, clothes hangers, her mom's shoes, discarded clothes for dressup, pots, skillets, my guitars, and chess pieces (RIP black queen from my analysis set).

Toys we've bought that she actually played with:
Two teddies.
She has a little IKEA baby walker that she has most likely traveled miles with indoors, carting stuff around from one end to the other.
She has a small stack of books with pictures in them, say 5 or 6 books, and we practiced words and colors with them.
Duplo blocks.
A bouncing ball.
A Bobles elephant (this one has seen continuous use for 1.5 years now. Since she learned to stand up on her own, this has been a constant companion around the house).
A Toy piano.

Remember: buy things after you find out you need them. Despite the warnings of advertising, nothing truly foul will come over your child as long as there is clean water nearby for washing and tits for fine dining. We've been quite adamant about refraining from purchases, but we still acquired a little more than we truly needed over time. However; if you DO get too many toys, one of the most famous tricks is to cycle toys in and out of the room. Every three or four weeks or so, cycle some of the toys out of the room, into to attic and bring down some of the toys in the attic. That way it always feels like there are new toys to play with and you don't clutter up your home. In time you'll notice what gets played with the most.

Buy wood. It's durable and you can easily resell quality wooden toys when you don't need them anymore.

[Sareybox]

Simplicity Parenting is a good read, and illustrates why less toys are actually better.

[Fbeyer]

This video snippet perfectly illustrates what the baby-advertising market looks like.

https://youtu.be/QMYXKSy2fb8?t=16m45s