Author Topic: Can you spoil your kids with experiences?  (Read 516 times)

onemorebike

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Can you spoil your kids with experiences?
« on: July 17, 2017, 02:48:38 PM »
They say you should give experiences, not things and we've followed that wholeheartedly. My wife and I have redesigned our lives in many ways to be more present for our kids. That manifests itself in a lot of ways, but mainly we are around before and after school, my wife has summers and breaks off so she is with the littles during that time and schedules lots of time at beaches, pools, on hikes, and bikes and with friends. For the most part it feels like it is well balanced between outings and time around the house and is a really great way to spend Summer.

That said, during the Summer months I swear my kids are more entitled, and can be bigger turds than ever. It isn't like we are flying them to Disneyland six times a year, but it feels like they may be a little too spoiled with our time. Is that possible?

Christof

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Re: Can you spoil your kids with experiences?
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2017, 03:53:42 PM »
Yes.

Providing a kid with experiences isn't the same as being around the kid all the time. Experiences can be letting the kid figure out her or himself what to do with their time, being alone with a friend, or visiting a family member without their parents. As a parent we are not our children's friends, we are their parents.

Experiences can become a replacement for stuff, if kids are flooded with experiences that are very different than those from their peers or more frequent. At some point it's not the experience that counts, but how rare, special or frequent it is. And that's no different from stuff.

Cranky

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Re: Can you spoil your kids with experiences?
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2017, 03:15:15 PM »
Yes, and I think it's super common right now. I notice that a lot of kids (I'm a teacher) have very, very little experience with just staying home and finding something to do. They are ALWAYS in some sort of structured activity, and that includes time with their families. They are rather flummoxed by the idea of just staying home.

tthree

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Re: Can you spoil your kids with experiences?
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2017, 03:40:58 PM »
Yes, and I think it's super common right now. I notice that a lot of kids (I'm a teacher) have very, very little experience with just staying home and finding something to do. They are ALWAYS in some sort of structured activity, and that includes time with their families. They are rather flummoxed by the idea of just staying home.
This is very real.  I am definitely not parent-of-the-year material, but one thing I have done right is a healthy dose of unstructured time:)  My mom has always gone on about how my kids are easier to watch than my brother's because they don't need to be engaged 24/7.  At first I thought she was just being nice, but at the eldest's first parent-teacher interview his teacher commented on how how easy he must be at home.

AmberTheCat

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Re: Can you spoil your kids with experiences?
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2017, 06:19:57 AM »
this is a really interesting question; have never thought of the fact that lots of experiences might spoil a kid.

My first response is NO. Your wife will treasure those times with the kids. The kids are spending time with their family, appreciating nature, learning skills, getting outside and living the life. I just dont see how that can spoil them.

But i do think planned events and always being on the go and possibly making everyday "disneyland" might deter learning how to entertain him/herself. That's a good skill to have.   

for the most part it sounds like a great childhood. Throw some regular chores in there, do some things Mom and Dad want to do, and enjoy. Summers home with my 4 kids were some of the best years of my life.
not young, but newbie here!