Author Topic: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?  (Read 3215 times)

shelivesthedream

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3783
  • Location: London, UK
I'm pregnant with our first child and I've been thinking a lot lately about how different people's personalities are, particularly within families. For example, my brother and I have grown up to have very different lives: his job is very structured and people-oriented, and he goes out to bars and parties with friends all the time. My freelance work is very flexible and fairly object-oriented and I love a quiet night in or just seeing one or two friends at once.

Is there any evidence around specific environmental factors and personality traits? Particularly introversion and extroversion. Or do they just come out as they are and there's nothing anyone can do?

CindyBS

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 343
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2017, 07:23:48 AM »
Not sure about evidence, but my kids have difficulty dealing with the outside world/people.  Oldest has high functioning autism, youngest is very shy/reserved.  The youngest had this trait even as a baby/toddler.  We have always felt is it more of an inborn trait and my son with Autism it is obviously a disability. They are now teenagers.

Our philosophy has always been that part of preparing them to be adults is that they need to be able to function in the real world and deal with people.  This is part of the reason we will never do homeschooling, even if being in large groups is stressful to them.  We took them out into the world a lot when they were younger and do require them to do a certain amount of being out in the world vs. being homebodies.  But things like a middle school dance, or going to events with a ton of people, we don't push it. 

Northern gal

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 273
  • Location: Australia
  • Life at the beach shack
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2017, 01:08:26 PM »
I'm a little bothered by the question as it seems to imply that one is more desireable than the other (at least in the eyes of the parents doing the "affecting").

I see parenting as accepting and loving my kids' personalities as they are, and equipping them to live happy productive lives within those parameters.

There are plenty of examples of wildly successful Is and Es.

Disclaimer: I'm a strong Extrovert (like 99th percentile in most tests). I also find schmoozing at work, in particular in male-dominated industries, is often influenced by gender more than 'sociability'.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2017, 05:09:29 PM by Northern gal »

BAM

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 109
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2017, 01:53:32 PM »
From my experience, being extroverted or introverted is an inborn trait. Kids seem to show evidence of which they are fairly young. I do believe that you can affect how they interact with people, though, no matter which they are. All children can learn to look people in the eye, shake their hands, make small talk, be a friend, etc. It just seems to come more naturally to those that are extroverts.

This wasn't a homeschooling question so I won't side track it to that but did want to make a quick comment that being homeschooled does not lead to a lack of social skills as CindyBS commented. My children have all been homeschooled. Three are extroverts, 6 are introverts. DH and I are introverts. All of my kids do fine in social situations. Google homeschool and social skills and you will see that research is showing that homeschooled kids actually come out higher in social skills areas than others.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2017, 01:59:33 PM by BAM »

LaineyAZ

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 168
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2017, 04:20:35 PM »
I think that basic introversion or extroversion is an inborn trait.
However, I also think that parental modeling and exposure to various environments can modify each of these.
(and for the record, I'm not saying that extroversion is the only way to be.)

I'm thinking of a nephew who is now college age but as a toddler/younger child was very shy.  Would hide under the tablecloth when visitors came to the house.  His parents are mild extrovert/introverts.  As he grew older, they didn't push him to change, but they did offer plenty of opportunities for diverse social experiences.  For example, he attended a private smaller neighborhood school where he thrived.  They paid for local field trips, and later, a few overseas school-related trips where he could interact with strangers under the teacher's watchful eye.  They had social outings where he was included, and could observe from the sidelines or participate as he wished; as you can guess, his comfort level grew and he is definitely more of a participant. 

Point being that he could have remained in his very shy shell, but I think his life has been immeasurably changed for the better by letting him grow and experience more that life has to offer.  He'll never be a true extrovert, but he doesn't have to be.

CindyBS

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 343
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2017, 04:33:53 PM »

This wasn't a homeschooling question so I won't side track it to that but did want to make a quick comment that being homeschooled does not lead to a lack of social skills as CindyBS commented. My children have all been homeschooled. Three are extroverts, 6 are introverts. DH and I are introverts. All of my kids do fine in social situations. Google homeschool and social skills and you will see that research is showing that homeschooled kids actually come out higher in social skills areas than others.

I never said homeschool led to a lack of social skills, I said that we feel like dealing with large groups is important and that is ONE reason why we don't homeschool. (I find it impossible to believe your kids interact with 1,600 people every school day like my son does).  My son is not an introvert, he's Autistic.  The issue is not just social skills - that is just the tip of the iceberg.  It's sensory issues, learning to advocate for yourself, navigating through a world of neurotypicals, learning how to answer questions from a teacher, etc, etc., etc., etc.  He also is extremely gifted, has a learning disability, anxiety and cancer.  Whatever your thoughts on homeschooling, we have decided it is not an appropriate choice for our child.

Plugging Along

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 98
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2017, 07:09:26 PM »
Introversion and extroversion are traits that people are general born with.  Studies show the6 general do not change with age, however depending on where they are on the scale may mellow towards the middle more as they  age.   That being said, introversion and  extrovesrion are how people get energized, not if theyare shy, or outgoing which is a misconception.

An introvert finds it draining to be with people all the time, and needs more quiet or along time to reenergize., they tend to Think first then speak.    An extrovert gets energized by being around people and tend to speak as they think.   Noether one is better than the other, but rather a personality. 

Itís important to recognize the natural tendency. Ypu can teach an introverted child to be very social and speak well in groups, this is an important skill.   However, the parent has to reconginize that it is draining for a child and needs to give them their down time where they donít have to be with people. For an extroverted child , teaching them not to interrupt (more common with extroverts), and to be able to focus while they are alone is equally important .  However, they need that people interaction.

To the OP original comment.  Can you turn a child either introverted or extroverted, whatever way, the answer is generally no.  Can you teach a child be more social or more introspective then answer is yes, to a point, but recognize itís not their natural tendancy.

When I have taken my classes on this stuff, the facilator had us dpwrite our name with our opposite hand.  We had to describe how it felt,  generall6 awkward, weird, didnít fell quite righas, messy.   Then asked if we had practiced for a long time, could we get better at it, and the answer is yes.   Same idea.

Laura33

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2072
  • Location: Mid-Atlantic
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2017, 07:57:30 PM »
So first, congrats!!

Second:  No.

IMO they come out who they are.  You can fuck them up by trying to change who that is, or you can figure out what they need and what makes them tick to help them learn to be the best version of whoever that is.

DH and I are both introverts.  We spent our pregnancy joking about how our kid would be so introverted s/heíd never even come out of the corner.  Imagine our surprise when DD turned out to be the biggest life-of-the-party type Iíve ever met.  I still giggle at my naÔvetť, thinking that Iíd ďmoldĒ her into what Iíd always assumed my kid would be.

ixtap

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1226
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2017, 07:58:44 PM »
Let's say someone posted a study that says yes. Which would you choose?

Poundwise

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1114
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2017, 08:18:06 PM »
From my own life experience, I thought I was an introvert for years, growing up.  This may be because my family was different ethnically and professionally from most others in our town. Then I went away for school and met a whole bunch of people with whom I really clicked, and who were interesting to me and interested in me.  No more was it a tiring chore to go out and be among people.  I became extroverted.

Then I moved again...

It seems that my level of extroversion really is determined by my fit with the people around me. As for my kids, because we gave them lots of exposure to other kids and people early on, they seem quite comfortable socially, and are not comfortable with or accustomed to being alone  (which has its good and bad points; I hope they will have the strength to stand up to peers and to do some original thinking).

So my answer is, to create an extrovert, give a child a social environment that makes him happy and fulfilled. One way to create an introvert, place the child in a situation where she feels different from the others and must struggle to connect. Some children will, of course, be more adjustable to many sorts of people, others have a narrower range. However, these ranges can be extended or contracted by environment and training.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2017, 08:19:42 PM by Poundwise »

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3582
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2017, 01:29:35 AM »
Agree with the others: the tendencies one way or the other probably arise out of both nature and nurture and then you work with the grain of whatever you get in order to produce a functioning human being.

shelivesthedream

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3783
  • Location: London, UK
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2017, 01:36:55 AM »
Thanks for the answers, all. They're pretty much what I expected (see example of me and my brother in the OP) about you just coming out as you are.

Let's say someone posted a study that says yes. Which would you choose?

Reeeeeaaaaaally interesting question, and I'll admit I have been wondering. I just don't know. I'm very introverted and as a child was genuinely shy. I worked my way out of the shyness but I'm obviously still not a people person. Sometimes I look at extroverts and think they have life so easy. All sorts of jobs suit them that just exhaust me - sales, for example. And people are very critical of you not wanting to spend time with all the people all the time, so I sometimes think it would easier to just love going to parties and chatting to everyone at once. But then, I really value how easy I find it to entertain myself without needing to get anyone else involved. I can just sit and think about stuff, and though I do get lonely sometimes, a few one-to-ones a week are ample for me. I'm sure I save a lot of money that way! And work-wise, I can just sit on my own for hours and get on with things.

So I don't know! I definitely think extroverts have life easier at school, but then school really isn't the be-all and end-all. I suppose if I had to choose I'd choose an introvert because I'd be able to relate to them better and share what I've learned about managing my social spoons with them. I wouldn't have as much life experience to offer an extrovert.

My husband is a mild introvert with great social skills. I think those in the middle who can fake being either way have it easiest!

Playing with Fire UK

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2294
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2017, 02:14:00 AM »
Itís important to recognize the natural tendency. Ypu can teach an introverted child to be very social and speak well in groups, this is an important skill.   However, the parent has to reconginize that it is draining for a child and needs to give them their down time where they donít have to be with people. For an extroverted child , teaching them not to interrupt (more common with extroverts), and to be able to focus while they are alone is equally important .  However, they need that people interaction.

To the OP original comment.  Can you turn a child either introverted or extroverted, whatever way, the answer is generally no.  Can you teach a child be more social or more introspective then answer is yes, to a point, but recognize itís not their natural tendancy.

I'm broadly in agreement with this. I think there are definitely things that you can do to help kids deal with the difficulties that their natural tendency brings. It's great if a child is naturally introverted, but problematic if that limits their ability to form wanted relationships or speak to people to do normal life-things. Similarly, it's great if a child is extroverted, but if that means that they can't sit and read a book alone, it will restrict their ability to progress at school and not be "that person" on a bus. Being nudged towards practising the behaviours that don't come naturally to us is the important thing that parents can influence.

I lean extroverted, but as a child, I picked up a parent's dislike of making phone calls and public speaking. I was terrified of speaking in public until I was maybe 16 (to the point where I failed the speaking part of language exams despite getting 90% on the written bit). I now do presentations ALL THE TIME for work and genuinely enjoy them, and am energised from them and love doing them. Still a wimp about phone calls though. My siblings who lean introverted have picked up the same issues, and it is limiting them in their careers.

cerat0n1a

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1159
  • Location: England
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #13 on: December 18, 2017, 03:36:34 AM »
Sometimes I look at extroverts and think they have life so easy.

Have you read "Quiet: The Power of Introverts" by Susan Cain - pretty widely discussed book in the last few years? Her quietrev.com website has quite a bit about parenting.

I think there are a few studies which show a weak correlation between parenting style & introversion/ extraversion but mostly it's genetic.

Prairie Stash

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1549
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #14 on: December 18, 2017, 09:15:29 AM »
My first born is introverted, she needs to be pushed into social situations. I can't change her natural tendencies.

However, I realize she needs to learn all the social skills that extroverts tend to exhibit. So I encourage play dates, preschool and other social interactions. My goal isn't to change her, its to make sure she has the skills she needs when she needs them later on. Even introverts like having friends, its sometimes harder if they don't relate well to make them initially.

So you cant change them, but you can make sure they can tolerate the mandatory office Christmas parties.

tthree

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 416
  • Location: Canada
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2017, 09:52:20 AM »
IMO they come out who they are.  You can fuck them up by trying to change who that is, or you can figure out what they need and what makes them tick to help them learn to be the best version of whoever that is.

DH and I are both introverts.  We spent our pregnancy joking about how our kid would be so introverted s/heíd never even come out of the corner.  Imagine our surprise when DD turned out to be the biggest life-of-the-party type Iíve ever met.  I still giggle at my naÔvetť, thinking that Iíd ďmoldĒ her into what Iíd always assumed my kid would be.
Completing agree.  They come pre-programmed.

Your response also reminded me of this quote: ďchildren are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.Ē

BAM

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 109
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #16 on: December 18, 2017, 10:24:00 AM »
CindyBS, sorry if I misunderstood you. I do have a bit of a trigger when people say that homeschooling will not prepare my children for the real world. My oldest 4 (3 introverts, 1 extrovert) have proven otherwise. They all do just fine in any social situation they are placed in.
No, my children are not with 1600 people everyday like yours. I'm glad that is working for your son. For me, being public schooled as a child made things worse. It wasn't until I had children with health issues (one with cancer like yours) that I learned to speak up for myself and them. So that is ONE of the reasons we have choose to homeschool - to give them a chance to grow into themselves without the undesirable pressures that peers can put on them. This approach has worked well for my oldest two who are in college - they are in big state universities now and do just fine and, in some cases, better since they don't have any fear of asking the dumb question, being themselves even if others make fun of you, etc.
I'm sure dealing with all the issues your son has is a balancing act in many things. Glad you are finding what works well for him.

gaja

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1068
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #17 on: December 18, 2017, 11:15:33 AM »
The best part of parenting is getting to know the persons you have brought into the world. They have clear personalities from the minute they are born, and it is really fun trying to lure out the good sides, and less fun teaching them to subdue the less socially acceptable sides of their personality.

I'm an very clear introvert, but 90 % of those that don't know me think I'm an extrovert. Speaking for crowds is no problem, small talk in the lunch break at work is enjoyable, etc. But after a day at work I need a couple of hours alone. If I need to consentrate the office door will be closed, and I never take part in office parties or other social settings where you are supposed to be around people "for fun". My husband is my only real friend, and the moment I realized that one friend was all I wanted or needed, life got much easier. My parents tried to get me to be an extrovert, and it was hell. They would invite 15 girls to celebrate my birthday, and I would hide in the attic with a book.

The youngest kid is just like me. She loves singing in front of large crowds, but has to have at least one day a week where she is completely alone: sitting in her room drawing, taking a walk alone, etc. As a baby, we had a lot of trouble getting her to sleep, until we discovered she hated to be cuddled to sleep. Put her in the middle of a queen sized bed, leave the room, and she was asleep within a few seconds. The oldest kid, on the other hand, needs to be around other people constantly. When she can't be in the middle of large groups, she will put on some sort of sound (tv, radio, audiobooks, etc) in the background to avoid feeling lonely. As a baby, she would rather sleep in the middle of the living room than alone in her room.

nickybecky1

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 396
  • Location: PNW
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2017, 06:53:30 PM »
Iím an introvert and found the book The Introvert Advantage to be a real help in learning great ways to set boundaries and manage life in a way that I can thrive and not feel as much like Iím missing out on advantages of being an extrovert. She talks about parenting some in that as well. Havenít read quiet so canít conpare them.

She also has a book about loving extroverts as an introvert which may be relevant to successfully helping an extrovert to thrive with jntrovert parents?

Lichen

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 269
  • Location: PNW
  • We've got movie sign!
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2017, 08:06:02 PM »
I'm an introvert that thought she was an extrovert the first 20 years if her life. I'm not shy, have no qualms speaking in public, and always took the help in school group work so was labeled extroverted. I also thought something was wrong with me because of how draining all of this was, which I'm pretty sure later became one of the catalysts to me developing anxiety and requiring medication for it. When you are 16 and need to stay home for hours and "rest" after a people-filled activity, you start to think you have some horrible health problem and are dying it seems. (No, just me?)

This is all to say that while I think intro/extro is inborn, I also think it is wonderful that you are exploring the issue and how it pertains to your child. If I had known that not all introverts are shy, I may have recognized the tendency toward introversion in myself and saved myself a lot of heartache. I have one extro and one intro child. I respect both of their needs in this regard, and we have discussed the varying needs of these different personalities with both boys so they can respect the needs of others as well.

I second the recommendation to read Quiet, it is an eye opening read.

shelivesthedream

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3783
  • Location: London, UK
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #20 on: December 22, 2017, 12:47:34 AM »
I have read Quiet, and very much enjoyed it. It cemented my positive identity as introvert rather than my former negative identity as recovering shy person. My childhood shyness and my lifelong introversion can be separated! I too have no problems now with presenting or public speaking, but recognise that I need to pace myself and not do parties if I can help it.

Thanks for all the answers, everyone. It's really interesting. There is so much semi-science guessing things that you can affect (play your baby Mozart and they might be clever! Eat lots of soya products and it might be a girl!) as well as the legit science (coffee consumption linked to lower birth weight) that I am surprised there is little folk wisdom on introversion/extroversion.

Plugging Along

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 98
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #21 on: December 22, 2017, 07:05:16 AM »
I have read Quiet, and very much enjoyed it. It cemented my positive identity as introvert rather than my former negative identity as recovering shy person. My childhood shyness and my lifelong introversion can be separated! I too have no problems now with presenting or public speaking, but recognise that I need to pace myself and not do parties if I can help it.

Thanks for all the answers, everyone. It's really interesting. There is so much semi-science guessing things that you can affect (play your baby Mozart and they might be clever! Eat lots of soya products and it might be a girl!) as well as the legit science (coffee consumption linked to lower birth weight) that I am surprised there is little folk wisdom on introversion/extroversion.

Yes as parents, and especially first time parents we all want what 8s best for our little ones and giving them all the advantages.  Remember there is only so much you can control, and trying to control more than you really can will drive a parent bonkers, and make 8t not very fun for t( kid.

It seems on by your previous posts that you worry about your child being shy 9r being introverted.   There is nothing wrong with that.  I canít say 8 personall6 rela5e as I am an extreme extrovert.  However, my daughter is an introvert which is so different from me.   She is also gifted, a perfectionist, and just thinks differently from kids her age.  These thing are just wha5 she was born with.   I recognize that I canít nor should change these natural tendencies, but rather help her her develope more Ďextrovertedí skills to work with them in the appropriate settings. I do think we can influence their skills so they can speak in public and gain confidence.  Shyness can sometimes be over over come by confidence, introversion is just h9w yo7 ge5 energized.

Some things we have done with our child...
Bring them tosocial settings from a young age, and teach them what the properly social etiquettes are such as greetings, eye contact, etc.  We also monitored them and later taught them to recognize if they are getting tomuch Social time (melt downs, withdrawals, etc), then  if they need a little time to themselves what to do or say.   Most importantly I recognize tha5 even though 8 donít need to remergoze, after a long time socializing, my child and (my husband) need down time at home not doing anything.  So my youngest and I hang out while my introvert read or spend alone time.

For speaking, my oldest is really smart and always knew the answers but would literally hide under the desk if called upon.   We put her in the arts such as drama and music so she could preform in the summer.  Drama and improv camp did so much for her.  But we tried other things where she didnt like so much.  Again, after camp she wants to read all night.  Both my girls are on Girl Scouts, my introvert found presenting badges as a good way to speak in front of others.   She also found she likes leading little kids, so we give her opportunities to run younger meetings. 

She has become less introverted over the years, but that will always be who she is. 

Chesleygirl

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 642
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #22 on: December 22, 2017, 07:46:12 AM »
I'm a little bothered by the question as it seems to imply that one is more desireable than the other (at least in the eyes of the parents doing the "affecting").

Same here, and both introverts and extroverts have strengths they bring into certain situations. However I can tell you, there is still a huge amount of prejudice socially and in the workplace, against introverts. So that is why it concerns parents. Every single job I've ever interviewed for has said "we need outgoing person for this job with people skills" (usually what they define as an extrovert). My daughter is very extroverted and seems to get a lot more attention from her teachers, while the quieter kids tend to get overlooked and ignored. I know as I've been in her classroom quite often.

shelivesthedream

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3783
  • Location: London, UK
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #23 on: December 22, 2017, 08:44:11 AM »
Plugging Along: I'm not sure if you read my later posts. I'm not concerned about my child being shy or an introvert. If anything I would mildly prefer it because I am an introvert and I was a shy child, so I feel like I would be much more able to give them the tools to cope well in life. I wouldn't know where to start with a serious extrovert - it would be a huge learning curve for us both.

Plugging Along

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 98
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #24 on: December 22, 2017, 12:31:02 PM »
Plugging Along: I'm not sure if you read my later posts. I'm not concerned about my child being shy or an introvert. If anything I would mildly prefer it because I am an introvert and I was a shy child, so I feel like I would be much more able to give them the tools to cope well in life. I wouldn't know where to start with a serious extrovert - it would be a huge learning curve for us both.

Sorry I missed your later posts. 

As a parent I have found almost everything has a learning curve.   

soccerluvof4

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3380
  • Location: Artic Midwest
  • Retired at 50
    • My Journal
Re: Can you affect whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert?
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2017, 03:50:06 AM »
They say people dont change but they do. Introvert or Extrovert there is nothing wrong with either as long as they are happy and are contributors in life. One would say I was an Extrovert because I publicly could handle things well while internally though I was struggling. My wife is for sure an Introvert so I probably ended up marrying her in part because I felt more comfortable.

Having 4 kids we worry, worried about all sorts of things with them growing up (currently two now first year of college and two 12 and 13) .
1) are they going to be liked and or socially accepted in school
2) are they going to be able to handle the pressures and or be mentally strong
and so on.

I do believe kids come out a certain way but as I have seen mine and there friends progress just because they might be labeled one way or another now doesnt mean they will end up that way. Its amazing how many times I see a child with loud parent(s) who never say a word because one the parent doesnt give them a voice and or let them think for themselves . Later in life they become just like there parents or remain an introvert.

Teaching how to communicate I believe is important exspecially with all the technology kids have to deal with today. And nudging, not pushing them out of their comfort zone is good I believe for any child BUT its a fine line between helping them and hindering them. Just my 2 cents!