Hi there. Long time lurker, first post.
High quality affordable day care is a serious challenge in my area, Washington, DC region. Several lists have scored it the most expensive metro for child care in the country. My wife and I make good money for many metros but not significantly above average for ours. We're mid/late thirties, goal is FIRE by 50.
For two years we sent my son to a daycare that was affordable by all measures, but not satisfactory in others, including ownership who were hostile (I don't use that word lightly) to our concerns. So we moved my son and secured a place for my newborn daughter at a nearby location. This school/daycare is approximately double the cost of our previous care location (adjusting for the hypothetical enrollment of my then yet-unborn daughter). The facility is a lot nicer and the teachers are great and very loving while they are there. This school went through a lot of growing pains during our two years enrolled including excessive teacher turnover.
The process of securing care is a long one fraught with wait lists and advanced planning (up to a year often). So we secured two spaces at a different daycare/school about 9 months ago. Tomorrow is my kids' last day at their current daycare. I'm an emotional mess. My daughter is not yet two and my son will be 4. He seems excited for the school change as I've introduced the idea slowly and I believe fairly. My daughter obviously doesn't know what is happening.
The new school will save us approximately 700 a month. So approximately 12,000 in pretax income. I figure over the four years that we will require daycare/preschool enrolling them in the new school our third school) will save us approximately 22,000 in costs and 31000 in pretax income.
The new school is more play based, less structured. The parents who send their kids to all of these schools are all smart, well heeled professionals. There are no bad options, just different options.
Still I feel very frayed by this. To make matters worse my wife is not on the same page, and going along but has a lot of fear/anxiety.
I know there are not cut and dry answers. But this one seemed like a good decision 9 months ago. Now emotion is taking its toll.
Pros: It's closer to us, bike/walk for pickup and drop off, neighborhood school, neighbors attend, close (a block) to my son's (future) elementary school, low teacher turnover, more affordable.
Cons: more student driven/play based learning, less teacher driven, sand outside on playground (= more mess at home), older dingier environment, higher teacher/student ratio, older well-used toys
I don't know any Mustachians in real life (I wish I did), except my dad. Would love some help. I really don't want to look back and feel like I sold out their childhood for 31k. Thank you!
-anxious and fearful