We have 3 kids, all very different, and tried to raise them being aware of their differences.
When the first was born, I became a sahm and my husband got a much better job when the youngest was 4, so we opted for me to stay home permanently. I've thought of some random memories that might be useful to someone? (Maybe not) The kids are 32,30,29 now, so a long time ago.
1. The minivan was invaluable. The only complaint we had was that the paint was not 'camel hair' proof. We had the vehicle about 2 weeks, loaded up the kids, and went to African Safari. A car could drive around, open a window to feed zebras, camels, etc. But when the food was gone, we got surrounded by camels whose hair scraped against the sides - camel hair scratches!
2. Since we had 3 so very close in age, through their school years the rule was one activity (That Mom had to drive to and from) at a time. That meant summer too.
3. The 2 boys belonged to the LEJGA (youth golf association) starting when they were 10. We liked it because back then, and in this area, 'good' kids joined golf, in high school too. They stayed in until they were 18.
Our daughter did a lot of art and zoo things, and won with her dog at the Ohio State 4-h competition. She skipped the 8th grade, with her teacher's blessings, and graduated 3rd in her hs class, despite months off for scoliosis surgery.
Our thinking was, busy kids are less apt to get into trouble.
4. We bought a Ford Ranger for the kids. #1 drove it to golf courses in the summer (the golf association allowed them to play on a lot of nice private courses). At school, when he was a jr, he went to the local vocational school (for computer), spent part of the day going to the community college (free) across the street, and then drove to the high school to participate on the golf team. He graduated from high school with 35 college credits.
When he graduated, daughter drove the truck to school for clubs and things after classes.
Son #2 drove the truck to golf team events and then on Saturdays went to the Navy office once a month to make sure that's what he wanted to do.
Financially, it paid for me to stay at home. I could not make as much as TheHusbandHalf did on overtime, so by being home he did not miss any calls that he wanted to take, and I could expose the kids to many worthwhile activities.
All 3 kids were in the top 10 of their hs class and 2 took advantage of a different community college's deal where a high school graduate could go there free for 2 years if their GPA met their criteria. I think it was 3.0 but I don't remember.
When they were born, Ohio had a 'Tuition Trust' program that we could buy them college credits at the current price ('85,'87, '88) and use them when they went to any Ohio college.
Son #2 tested into the nuclear propulsion rate in the Navy, and son #1 kept getting scholarships, so they gave their TT credits to their sister and she went on to be an RN. She works as an RN now and the company that owns the hospital pays her tuition – it used to be doctor, but now she says she wants to be a pharmacist.
Our goal was to get the kids educated enough to be able to support themselves. If they wanted to get rich, that was on them! They had no college debt and we had little in college costs to pay.
They all came back home to live after college, our house is set up so that they have a separate entrance but still have access to the kitchen and the laundry. They were all here about a year, and then moved out. Son #1 bought a house, on a golf course of course, and I was in the room when I heard the 2 discussing son #2 moving in with him. I take great pride in raising 2 boys that can live together, it was kind of an Oscar and Felix deal!
My daughter bought a house last year, and son #2 is closing on a condo this month. All 3 are doing better than their mom or dad, at the same age.
A minivan memory:
I was driving 4 yr old son #2, he was sitting way in the back and asks, yelling of course, "Mom, what would you do if there was a chicken sitting next to you?" I knew then his mind worked in a different way, like his mom's
We too had a freezer, it helped to teach about life/death: Son #2 had a guinea pig, he named Fudge Dripple. FD died and being it was the middle of winter, we wrapped him up and put him in the freezer. Darn Fudge Dripple, I don't know how many times he fell out!
I never considered 3 a big family. I have 87 first cousins, only 5 on my Mom's side!