At what age can kids stay home alone during this pandemic (Both parents working)

[SomedayStache]

Hi all,

Haven't made a lot of posts here recently, but I feel like I need advice and don't want to ask on my usual networks because I don't want IRL people to know my kids are home alone.

We have 3 kids. Ages 11, 8, 6.

I work a 40 hr week, 30 minutes from home. My husband works Monday through Thursday 9am-3pm (SEE HOW PERFECT THAT WORKS WITH A SCHOOL SCHEDULE! School how we miss you.) and he's only a few minutes from home.

Since the pandemic started I was temporarily able to telework but that has now been clawed back. My husband's hours/status never changed. Obviously my 3 kids are no longer in school and so the last few days when I had to go back to the office we've left the kids home alone.  I really don't like this, it adds stress in already a stressful time. But my husband is not bothered at all and says that he and his sisters were left home alone from a much earlier age.

Our normal plan for the summer was to have grandparents watch the kids, but we don't want to be a disease vector that may ultimately kill one of their beloved grandparents. I've started looking into childcare options for summer but I would honestly be surprised if things open back up. Whatever we do will probably be for at least all of summer and, god help me, if school doesn't start back in the fall then this situation could go on even longer.

Our kids are fairly responsible, but they are kids. My first day back in the office I couldn't reach them via phone because they had their dang headphones in all day long. I worry the house could catch fire and no one would notice!

What are your thoughts?

[MDM]

13-ish, with ish varying from kid to kid....

See also Home Alone Rules by State - iMom.

[SomedayStache]

Apparently my state says:

Q: How old does my child need to be before I can leave him home by himself?
A: There is no law or policy in Oklahoma for how old a child has to be in order to be left alone. Here are the recommended guidelines for parents:

Infants and children under 6 years of age should never be left alone without adult supervision.
Generally, grade school children who demonstrate the ability to be responsible and mature may be left alone one or two hours during the day with access to a responsible adult.
Grade school children should never be left to care for younger children.
Middle school children who demonstrate the ability to care for themselves without help may be left alone for up to four hours during the day and evening.
Middle school children may care for one or two younger children if there is constant access to a responsible adult.

le sigh. This all sucks so much.

[SomedayStache]

The only solution I see is to ask my husband to quit his job.

I don't think he's going to do that.

[PoutineLover]

I was allowed to stay home alone or with my younger sister around 10, and I started babysitting around 11/12. If your kids are generally responsible, if you can leave them meals that don't require a stove, and if your husband could come home at a moments notice if needed, it's probably not too unsafe, but it's not ideal.
If that's really the only option you have, and it's not illegal, then try to work with it. Maybe set up specific check in times where you call and see how things are going, and leave them checklists or reminders of chores and activities and review important safety information with them in the evening.
Otherwise, try to negotiate something with your work. Maybe you can work half from home, half at work, or shift your hours so the kids are home alone for shorter periods.

[oldladystache]

You could put some cameras in the house that you could monitor from work. That would reassure you and also make them behave better since they would know you may be watching.

[mm1970]

11 is a little young for all day
12 though...doable
Depends on the kids

My neighbor put cameras in their house, as someone also mentioned.
Their kids always knew they could come to our house too.

[lhamo]

Can you find a locally-based college student who is social distancing who you could pay to spend most of the day with them?  Even having someone come from 11-2 would be a bit less worrisome than having them home alone from 9-3

[charis]

We had an 11 babysitter for our 6 year old, but it was only 1.5 hours and 1 kid.  So I think it's technically fine, depending on the state law, but I wouldn't do it (maybe with cameras). Can you stagger your hours with your husband, wfh part-time, or negotiate some other way that they aren't alone all day?

[trashtalk]

I would get the big kids cellphones at this point and say that they have to be able to answer your call within five rings or else. And answer your texts. And send you proof-of-life photos of the little kid.

[SomedayStache]

They have a cellphone (it's a flip phone, so no camera).
There's also alexa so they can make voice calls on that.

I have the type of kids that everyone who meets says "Your kids are SO mature!". And they certainly can be. But they are also just kids and the oldest is likely to start crying if I take away 15 minutes of his video game time (for example).

This is such a difficult situation for me to navigate. Especially because my husband doesn't really understand my discomfort.

[Kmp2]

My rule has always been, 10 to be home alone (for a few hours, not late at night), 11 to look after siblings (6+), 12 to look after other peoples kids and younger kids.
I think our local law is 12 to babysit other peoples kids with no guidelines for staying alone/looking after siblings. We aren't yet there yet, and it will still depend on what the oldest is like, and what the dynamic is between our kids too. (we have a similar age spread, 7,4 and almost 2)

Hiring a highschool student to come in (for not even the whole day) and play video games... and do the lunch stuff is a good option. But it's more disease vectors.

Has your eldest taken the babysitting course, can call 911, evacuate the other two in a fire, do some basic medical, use the stove? etc.... 
Practicing some of these things might put your mind at ease, that and scheduled checkins by phone.
Do they have access to a nearby adult?

This isn't exactly a cut and dry yes or no. Maybe read up on the 'free range parentings' let grow project. It might help you separate your feelings from whether your kids can handle it or not.
You're feelings are normal when we let our kids take on more responsibility, especially when we didn't plan it that way.

[LWYRUP]

They have a cellphone (it's a flip phone, so no camera).
There's also alexa so they can make voice calls on that.

I have the type of kids that everyone who meets says "Your kids are SO mature!". And they certainly can be. But they are also just kids and the oldest is likely to start crying if I take away 15 minutes of his video game time (for example).

This is such a difficult situation for me to navigate. Especially because my husband doesn't really understand my discomfort.

Upgrade your Alexa to one that does video calls and get another one at work and set them so they can drop in on each other.  A third for your husband.  Then call each other all the time.

There are cheaper ways to do this with webcams and phones but ease of use may be worth it to increase how quickly and easily everyone can do this and increase your peace of mind -- especially so the littler ones can call you if the biggest one gets hurt.

How close are you to home?  I'm only 1 mile so I'd be comfortable at the ages you list but maybe not if I was 30 min away.

[cchrissyy]

since they are all school age i think it's objectively fine but i understand you wouldn't be 100% comfortable about it and would not have chosen this in normal circumstances

i'd suggest

- definitely no new disease vectors like babysitters
- try to shift your work hours or do partial telecommuting
- install more smoke detectors, if that particular fear is bugging you. i think there are even some that would alert your phone and/or alexa.
- tell them not to cook
- utilize the grandparents for phone checkins. if they are available, they probably would enjoy the socialization, which will help  you get more work done.
- maybe get them a phone that has facetime calls

[Dictionary Time]

Wow that really stinks for you.

I have those kind of responsible kids too,  so I know where you’re coming from. But all day Monday through Thursday is so long. It’s so hard! I just have some random thoughts.

You were working from home before they took that away. Was it going ok or are they just a butt-in-seat kind of organization? Maybe they could be persuaded to give a little.  Half days? Every other day?  The covid law has a provision for up to 10 weeks off for 2/3 pay for childcare. Maybe they would rather let you work from home than do that?

Are any of the hours negotiable? If your husband went in 7-1 instead and you worked late 10-6, it would be a shorter gap.

Could the grandparents bring a socially distant lunch?

If you do have to leave them, make sure they have someone nearby as a resource they can call on. Lay down the expectations on check ins and rules and consequences.  The odds are in your favor, people have been taking care of their siblings for a long time.  It’s adding stress to a very stressful time though.

[SomedayStache]

I spent the evening with my eleven year old discussing hypothetical scenarios and what to do in each of them.
Also brought in the 8 yr old for a few.

My husband is going to see about shifting to an earlier schedule that might get him in/out an hour or two earlier. And I'm going to see about shifting to a later schedule. That could help shorten the time the kids are home alone.

Husband is already coming home for lunch, though it's usually after the kids eat so they have to still prepare food.

I think we'll be okay. I really hope school starts in the fall.

[DaMa]

The first summer my almost 13 year old watched her brothers, ages 11 and almost 8, I paid her to babysit, and I paid both boys to behave themselves.  I think it was $20, $5, and $5 per day.  I got a report from each child every day.  The boys rarely missed their pay -- they behaved pretty well and were motivated by the payday.  She didn't want them to miss out on cash, so she didn't call them on bad behavior unless it was truly bad.  We did this for 4 years, until the youngest was 12.  (In the 4th year, the older son got the $20, as big sister had a real job.)

Our neighbors on one side were a retired couple and on the other side was a SAHM who was married to a city cop.  They were almost always available if anything went wrong.  Plus grandparents were only 3 miles away.

We definitely did emergency preparedness with them, and even had drills.

It really depends on the children.  I was forced to babysit my younger brother, and it was a nightmare.

[Bettersafe]

To be honest, imo the 6 yo is to young to be alone that many hours (4 days a week, 6 hours alone is a lot). Hopefully your schedules can change. Your husband is home for lunch, but if he misses lunch with the kids he needs to do a better job being on time for it.

[Sibley]

Trying to think back to when I was that age - this would probably have been too much. But I would have told mom it was fine. And I was "mature" for my age, and my sister is 2.5 years younger.

You're stuck in a really tough position, and if your employer was being more reasonable that would help. Those ages would be fine pretty much doing their own thing while having an adult in the house. My thought is do you have a friendly neighbor who would be willing to be the "adult in the house", from next door? If someone was there who could run over and help out when the oldest was feeling overwhelmed that would help. Honestly, just knowing that there was someone who could and would step in to help might make that help unnecessary. Maturity is weird that way.

I think it's one of those things where 11-13 is both a little kid and a big kid. They need increasing independence to grow and mature, but they equally need assistance and a safe spot to land. Its a tough balance, and the situation is making it even tougher.

Whatever you end up doing, watchout for warning signs of problems - really, changed behavior. More meltdowns, more crabby, more backtalk, etc are all signs of stress and could indicate that you need to change the arrangements.

[BeanCounter]

I have similarly aged kids. And I frequently hear how mature my rule following kids are. That being said we do not leave them alone for longer than an hour or so. The reason is not because I don't think it's safe, we actually think they would be fine, but because we do not want one child "parenting" the other. This is the situation my husband was put in and it essentially ruined his relationship with this brother. His brother sees him as another parent. I also think my oldest would experience a lot of anxiety about what the youngest is doing, or not doing and if he was listening etc. I don't want that for him. I also don't want them to fight. This is why we have always hired college aged kids for after school and summer care. I cannot even begin to express how wonderful it has been. We've had three different girls over the last six years or so (basically started when my oldest aged out of daycare/preschool at five) and they have all been fantastic and developed great relationships with the kids. I also feel good about spending money that helps them with their education. It truly is a win win.

You have to do what you have to do. And I do think it's very likely that your kids will be just fine during this period. But if there is any way you can hire help, even a 17 year old kid of a friend, I think it's truly money well spent.

[charis]

I have similarly aged kids. And I frequently hear how mature my rule following kids are. That being said we do not leave them alone for longer than an hour or so. The reason is not because I don't think it's safe, we actually think they would be fine, but because we do not want one child "parenting" the other. This is the situation my husband was put in and it essentially ruined his relationship with this brother. His brother sees him as another parent. I also think my oldest would experience a lot of anxiety about what the youngest is doing, or not doing and if he was listening etc. I don't want that for him. I also don't want them to fight. This is why we have always hired college aged kids for after school and summer care. I cannot even begin to express how wonderful it has been. We've had three different girls over the last six years or so (basically started when my oldest aged out of daycare/preschool at five) and they have all been fantastic and developed great relationships with the kids. I also feel good about spending money that helps them with their education. It truly is a win win.

You have to do what you have to do. And I do think it's very likely that your kids will be just fine during this period. But if there is any way you can hire help, even a 17 year old kid of a friend, I think it's truly money well spent.

If I'm reading the OP correctly, the issue is not being able to/wanting to risk bringing in outside help during a pandemic. 

[rockstache]

Have you thought about taking the expanded FMLA? If you and your husband each did it, you could go for about 6 months. You only get 2/3 pay up to a the cap, but it’s not nothing.

[SomedayStache]

Is the expanded FMLA only for employers of less than 500ppl?

[BeanCounter]

I have similarly aged kids. And I frequently hear how mature my rule following kids are. That being said we do not leave them alone for longer than an hour or so. The reason is not because I don't think it's safe, we actually think they would be fine, but because we do not want one child "parenting" the other. This is the situation my husband was put in and it essentially ruined his relationship with this brother. His brother sees him as another parent. I also think my oldest would experience a lot of anxiety about what the youngest is doing, or not doing and if he was listening etc. I don't want that for him. I also don't want them to fight. This is why we have always hired college aged kids for after school and summer care. I cannot even begin to express how wonderful it has been. We've had three different girls over the last six years or so (basically started when my oldest aged out of daycare/preschool at five) and they have all been fantastic and developed great relationships with the kids. I also feel good about spending money that helps them with their education. It truly is a win win.

You have to do what you have to do. And I do think it's very likely that your kids will be just fine during this period. But if there is any way you can hire help, even a 17 year old kid of a friend, I think it's truly money well spent.

If I'm reading the OP correctly, the issue is not being able to/wanting to risk bringing in outside help during a pandemic.

I can understand that, but if they are both leaving the home to go to work you are already at risk. If the babysitter is only going between their home and yours, I see the risk as minimal.

[charis]

I have similarly aged kids. And I frequently hear how mature my rule following kids are. That being said we do not leave them alone for longer than an hour or so. The reason is not because I don't think it's safe, we actually think they would be fine, but because we do not want one child "parenting" the other. This is the situation my husband was put in and it essentially ruined his relationship with this brother. His brother sees him as another parent. I also think my oldest would experience a lot of anxiety about what the youngest is doing, or not doing and if he was listening etc. I don't want that for him. I also don't want them to fight. This is why we have always hired college aged kids for after school and summer care. I cannot even begin to express how wonderful it has been. We've had three different girls over the last six years or so (basically started when my oldest aged out of daycare/preschool at five) and they have all been fantastic and developed great relationships with the kids. I also feel good about spending money that helps them with their education. It truly is a win win.

You have to do what you have to do. And I do think it's very likely that your kids will be just fine during this period. But if there is any way you can hire help, even a 17 year old kid of a friend, I think it's truly money well spent.

If I'm reading the OP correctly, the issue is not being able to/wanting to risk bringing in outside help during a pandemic.

I can understand that, but if they are both leaving the home to go to work you are already at risk. If the babysitter is only going between their home and yours, I see the risk as minimal.

I don't think there's any way to control that, or control who the babysitter comes in contact with in or outside of their home. I wouldn't bring someone into my home unless there was absolutely no other option.  In addition to your family, it puts the caregiver and anyone they come into contact with at risk. I still go into work and no one outside our immediate family has been in our house in a month.  I was also confused by the "even a 17 year old kid of a friend" remark. Isn't that an ideal babysitter under most circumstances?

[MayDay]

I think it is less than ideal for the 6 year old. I also think thousands of other 6 year olds (and even younger) are being left at home because WTF are parents supposed to do?

That said you can't shift hours I would hire a babysitter who you trust to be following the local rules, assuming you aren't in a current hot spot.

My kids are 10 and 12 and although they are old enough to be left alone, I don't think it is a great idea for them to be left to their own devices for 6 to 24 months. We'll be hiring a sitter at some point.

[Shane]

Agreed, leaving 3 young kids home alone all day isn't ideal, but it's temporary. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Most likely, they will be fine. Hopefully, you'll all be able to look back on it some day as having been a good learning experience.

[Cassie]

I would hire someone to be there all day. As a former social worker some states have clear laws about age. In ones that don’t if a child gets hurt then they automatically decide a investigation is needed and your kids can end up in foster care quickly. I saw a situation where taking the kids was a mistake. Did they get returned quickly? No they got stuck in the system. A child at 12 is capable of caring for themselves all day and no one else. What if a child chokes on food for example. I am not trying to scare you but I raised 3 kids and you never know what will happen. Your best option is to hire someone and the next is to see if you can get some type of leave. I really feel sorry for anyone in your position. Please take care.

[Shane]

Agreed, leaving three young kids home alone is a risk, but given the current situation with coronavirus, it seems to me like it would be an even bigger risk to invite an outside person into OP's home everyday. Our daughter is 11. Under normal circumstances, we regularly leave her home alone for a couple/few hours when we go out shopping, to eat dinner, go to the movies, etc. If I had to leave three young kids home alone, all day, I'd teach them the Heimlich Maneuver, just in case. These aren't normal times, right now. Depending on state social distancing orders, it may not even be legal for OP to hire an outside person to come into their home, right now.

[BeanCounter]

I would hire someone to be there all day. As a former social worker some states have clear laws about age. In ones that don’t if a child gets hurt then they automatically decide a investigation is needed and your kids can end up in foster care quickly. I saw a situation where taking the kids was a mistake. Did they get returned quickly? No they got stuck in the system. A child at 12 is capable of caring for themselves all day and no one else. What if a child chokes on food for example. I am not trying to scare you but I raised 3 kids and you never know what will happen. Your best option is to hire someone and the next is to see if you can get some type of leave. I really feel sorry for anyone in your position. Please take care.

This. Risk of leaving kids alone all day is greater than the risk of you all getting Coronavirus from the babysitter. And if you’re both working outside the home you’re not having a perfect quarantine anyway. I’m really surprised that anyone would think otherwise.

[Cassie]

Shane, lots of adults find the Heimlich maneuver difficult to do let alone a 11 year old. A good friend of mine had a 10 and 4 year old. She was doing dishes and they wanted to cross the street to play with friends. Normally she crossed them but this day said they could do it with holding hands and the 10 year old in charge. They get halfway and a car is speeding so the oldest tries to pull back the youngest who is a strong boy and pulls away and runs across. The driver is a teenager looking down for her dropped cassette tape. The boy is killed and neither the mother or the sister ever forgives themselves decades later.

[Shane]

Cassie, I'm agreeing with you that there's a risk involved with leaving three young kids home alone all day. I just think modern humans generally underestimate children's abilities. Staying together inside a warm, dry house isn't as dangerous as crossing a busy street with no stop light. Could something bad happen? Sure. Will OP's kids probably be fine staying home alone for a few months until school, hopefully, starts back up in the fall? I think so. My biggest fear leaving young kids at home alone would be the danger you pointed out, above, which is some nosy neighbor or other do-gooder finding out that OP's kids are home alone and calling Child Protective Services on them. Compared to that danger, I think choking, overdosing on YouTube, eating too many snacks, and whatever other dangers are lurking in OP's house are relatively minor.

[MicroRN]

I spent the evening with my eleven year old discussing hypothetical scenarios and what to do in each of them.
Also brought in the 8 yr old for a few.

My husband is going to see about shifting to an earlier schedule that might get him in/out an hour or two earlier. And I'm going to see about shifting to a later schedule. That could help shorten the time the kids are home alone.

Husband is already coming home for lunch, though it's usually after the kids eat so they have to still prepare food.

I think we'll be okay. I really hope school starts in the fall.

So it sounds like they are home 4 days/week without a parent from 9-3ish, but a parent comes home in the middle of the day for a little while too.  So they're alone about 6 hours/day with a split in the middle?  If you shifted hours could you reasonably get it down to about 4 hours alone/day?  That wouldn't be bad - 2hrs alone, dad home for lunch, then another 2hrs alone.   

I'd definitely consider a mature 11 year old fine to stay home alone for those hours.  I'm iffy about them being in charge of the younger ones, but that really does depend on the kids involved.  My 7 year old is very difficult to manage, so I would never leave him with someone that young.  My 8 year old is a rule-follower and would just read & play video games.   

It's just a tough situation all around.  Personally, I would try to find someone I trusted to watch the kids during work hours, because I'd be too paranoid about all the things that could happen while I'm gone.  I'm fortunate to have a sister who helps me with mine. 

[MaybeBabyMustache]

Do you have space for someone (college student?) to temporarily live with you to provide child care? Think au pair style. I'd be willing to get over the one time hurdle/risk of infection to have them "join" my family, because I'd rather take that risk than leaving my kids alone at that age, or to Cassie's point, risk something going wrong & have them enter the foster system. I'd set clear expectations that they would need to then isolate with you for the remainder of the quarantine (e.g. no meeting up with friends, etc.)

[Cassie]

Shane, some people are mandated reporters such as teachers, social workers, medical personnel, etc. If the 11 year old was taking care of himself only it would probably be fine. In charge of 2 others not so much. Plus kids fight.  Get hurt and need stitches and when they ask the kids what happened look out. Even a neighbor that falls in the above occupations. In my opinion since the mom could work from home her employer should be reasonable and let her. Parents shouldn’t have to choose. We are in a crisis and shame on the employer for not understanding employees have kids and shouldn’t have to choose one over the other. Ugh!

[Shane]

Cassie, Agreed, seems like OP's employers should be willing to temporarily allow for more flexibility. OP didn't mention what kind of work they do. It's possible their jobs can only be done in person.

[CrustyBadger]

In my opinion, 11 years old is really too young to be alone for that length of time many days of the week, and too young to be in charge of the other kids.

There's a really big difference in maturity between an 11 year old and a 13 year old.  The difference is in the ability to think ahead, to predict and anticipate what could go wrong, to "see around corners". 

That's one reason that many states say kids shouldn't be responsible for babysitting until they hit middle school aged --12 or 13 is even better. 

Having two younger siblings to watch instead of just one makes the job infinitely harder (as kids will fight with each other). 

I think it would be OK for a one time occurrence, with very strict rules in place and frequent check-ins, and if there were very close by adult help if needed.  It might even be OK for just an hour, again with VERY strict rules as to what the schedule and plan should be.  But as a long term solution for months of school being out, I think you need a different plan.

In your case I would see if you could hire a babysitter; perhaps a teen or college aged student.

[SomedayStache]

I work for the federal government/DOD.

My job cannot really be done at home.

I've been reading all the responses and there isn't a firm consensus which at least makes me feel less alone in my uncertainty.

[SomedayStache]

I have 5 weeks combined of annual/sick leave. I've thought about starting to burn that... But what if we really get sick and need it later?

This is a terrible time at work also when I am supposed to be transferring my project and training new personnel. Work was already desperately difficult, since the pandemic it's become impossible.

[zinnie]

What are other parents at your job and your husband's job doing to manage this? You can't be the only one in this situation. You know your employers best, but I'd talk to each of your managers about the real problem you are facing and see what flexibilities can be worked out. You aren't asking for anything crazy here--it's a freaking pandemic! Are all of the parents in positions like yours just suffering in silence, or have they worked out alternate schedules etc.?

Sending good vibes. This is a really tough situation to be in. You sound very thoughtful and it's clear you'll make the best decisions you can for both yourselves and your kids.

[BeanCounter]

I have 5 weeks combined of annual/sick leave. I've thought about starting to burn that... But what if we really get sick and need it later?

This is a terrible time at work also when I am supposed to be transferring my project and training new personnel. Work was already desperately difficult, since the pandemic it's become impossible.

So why not hire a babysitter?

[former player]

I have 5 weeks combined of annual/sick leave. I've thought about starting to burn that... But what if we really get sick and need it later?

This is a terrible time at work also when I am supposed to be transferring my project and training new personnel. Work was already desperately difficult, since the pandemic it's become impossible.

What happens if you go over quota?  If you lose your job that's one thing but if it's just absence without pay that could be doable.

[SomedayStache]

So why not hire a babysitter?

It is an option to pursue. Initially reluctant due to 'extra exposure' and whatnot. But if I'm willing to send my kids to a daycamp (and I think I would be in the summer, if anything is open) logic implies I would be willing to allow someone else in my home.

Due to extreme privilege (as well life planning and intentional choices to move across country and near family, but also luck - lots of luck!) can you believe we've never in 11.5 years of parenting hired a babysitter?

I will admit that some percent of my anxiety is that this realm of paid childcare and needing to FIND the paid childcare is totally new ground for me. This anxiety and having to do something new during a time that is so stressful, combined with my husband's extreme opposition to paying for childcare is just blach!

[MaybeBabyMustache]

@SomedayStache - if you are willing to hire a sitter, why not reduce your risk even further (as you aren't going to be able to control how much interaction a sitter has outside of your house) & do a short term live in, assuming you have space? I have to imagine there are plenty of college students who can no longer work as servers in restaurants, etc, and may also be grateful for a place to live.

I've done the childcare search many times, and I think you'll have a better time finding someone for a consistent "salary" vs an hourly sitter who may bail for another job.

[SomedayStache]

1500 sq ft house and 5 ppl.  No room for a live in anyone!

[MaybeBabyMustache]

1500 sq ft house and 5 ppl.  No room for a live in anyone!

Yeah, that would be pretty tight. I wish you luck. I can imagine how stressful it would be right now to try & make these decisions.

[zhelud]

FWIW when I was 12 I would sometimes babysit two 8-year olds (not related to me) for 10 hours a day during school breaks. Never had any problems. And I knew that if something horrible happened, there were adults in the other houses on the street who I could run to. Just my 2 cents.

[BeanCounter]

So why not hire a babysitter?

It is an option to pursue. Initially reluctant due to 'extra exposure' and whatnot. But if I'm willing to send my kids to a daycamp (and I think I would be in the summer, if anything is open) logic implies I would be willing to allow someone else in my home.

Due to extreme privilege (as well life planning and intentional choices to move across country and near family, but also luck - lots of luck!) can you believe we've never in 11.5 years of parenting hired a babysitter?

I will admit that some percent of my anxiety is that this realm of paid childcare and needing to FIND the paid childcare is totally new ground for me. This anxiety and having to do something new during a time that is so stressful, combined with my husband's extreme opposition to paying for childcare is just blach!

Totally understand. Here is my advice having done this a few times-
Start putting it out there that you are looking for someone. I've only actually hired one girl we didn't already have a connection to. The rest were kids of co-workers who were looking for summer work. You'll be surprised when you start socializing that you are looking how many kids there are with no jobs. I love kids of teachers. I don't know why they are so great but in our experience they are fantastic. Two of ours were kids of teachers where I knew the other parent from work. One summer our summer babysitter did an entire week of themed activities around Harry Potter. They also played tons of a garage hockey game she made up for rainy days. They loved it.
Next option is to call the local college or University. Find someone who is studying to be a teacher. Our afterschool babysitter is studying to become a school counselor. She is amazing. She works with my guys on their homework and studies with them with a true heart of a teacher.
You will know when you meet the right person. Have them over for an interview. Even if you know their parents. Try to find out if they like the same stuff as your kids. It's awesome when they like the same books and movies. We also have a "nanny book" that details out all the expectations of the job so that it is laid out what we expect them to do and what it really important to us along with the rules of the house.
We pay by the day. It's just easier for me to not have to worry about coming home early this day or late that day. We are courteous about their time, and make sure they are well compensated. But I don't want to count up the hours each week and keep a time sheet. YMMV.
I know hiring someone into your home can be stressful. But it is truly rewarding. When you come home and you're kids have had fun and are telling you about going to the pool and playing board games and garage hockey it's really awesome. There really are lots of good kids out there who want and need jobs and will come into your home and do their very best. There will be bumps along the way but it beats day camp hands down.

[Laura33]

If your kids are responsible, that's the first important thing.

The second important thing is how much independence have they had to this point in time?  Are they used to, say, walking/biking to a friend's house on their own, pulling together lunches/snacks, and that sort of thing?  Are there neighbors/friends around who are available in a crisis?

The reality is that kids have been on their own or under minimal supervision since time immemorial.  Is it the best option?  Nope.  But is it something you can get through as a family for a short period in a true emergency situation?  Absolutely. 

FWIW, I was a latchkey kid from the age of 7.  Didn't have a choice -- my divorced mom needed to work and get her degree, she didn't have the money to hire help, and this predated the current mass of daycares around.  It wasn't my favorite thing, but I was fine; I was responsible and fairly independent and self-sufficient, so I was the right "fit" to be in that position.

But I also had had a lot of independence before that time.  From about 4, my friends and I used to run through the neighborhoods on our own, because that's what you did then.  I learned how to cook around 5, when my mom was in a very bad traffic accident and was bedridden for over a month; it wasn't fancy, but I learned how to open a can of Franco-American, empty it into a pot on the stove, heat it up, dish it out, and clean the dishes -- even though I was still short enough that I had to climb onto the countertop to do half of that.* 

So if your kids are responsible and capable of feedling themselves and used to having a reasonable amount of independence, then I think you're completely fine to give it a shot and see how they manage -- perhaps with some incentives for good behavior all around.  OTOH, if they've never stayed on their own for a couple of hours or played unsupervised or gotten themselves to a friend's house, then you might be expecting too much from them all at once. 

*Also had to walk 9 miles to school uphill both ways through the snow.  ;-)

[Pigeon]

I would hire a college student. There are a lot of them living at home, taking online classes, bored out of their minds. I have three in my house.