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Are we crazy for considering cosmetic surgery for our 11 year old?

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sjc0816:
Our 11 year old son has always had one "cupped" ear. Meaning, one of his ears (the top) is cupped downward....creating an illusion that the ear is much smaller and lower than the other.

I've always had it in the back of my head, that if he ever asked us to have it fixed, that we would seriously consider it.....and that has happened this year in 6th grade. Kids are always asking him about it and some jackasses have started making fun of him about it. He actually has a pretty good attitude about it....he's a very confident kid. But he wants to get it fixed.

Our consultation is next month with a facial plastic surgeon that came recommended by a general surgeon friend of mine. This surgery will run around 5k - and obviously being purely cosmetic will be totally OOP. We have the money and it won't change any financial goals or plans. But it's a LOT of money...and it seems....well, maybe superficial?  I'm struggling with it even though my gut is telling me that now is the time to fix it - he's going to junior high next year.

Does anyone have opinions on this? I'd love to hear all thoughts.

Jrr85:

--- Quote from: sjc0816 on March 02, 2018, 01:16:06 PM ---Our 11 year old son has always had one "cupped" ear. Meaning, one of his ears (the top) is cupped downward....creating an illusion that the ear is much smaller and lower than the other.

I've always had it in the back of my head, that if he ever asked us to have it fixed, that we would seriously consider it.....and that has happened this year in 6th grade. Kids are always asking him about it and some jackasses have started making fun of him about it. He actually has a pretty good attitude about it....he's a very confident kid. But he wants to get it fixed.

Our consultation is next month with a facial plastic surgeon that came recommended by a general surgeon friend of mine. This surgery will run around 5k - and obviously being purely cosmetic will be totally OOP. We have the money and it won't change any financial goals or plans. But it's a LOT of money...and it seems....well, maybe superficial?  I'm struggling with it even though my gut is telling me that now is the time to fix it - he's going to junior high next year.

Does anyone have opinions on this? I'd love to hear all thoughts.

--- End quote ---

There will be plenty of things for him to worry about in Jr. High and high school and plenty of things for him to be insecure about.  It's not going to emotionally cripple him if he has this one particular reason for insecurity addressed. 

I would not let a kid get cosmetic surgery just because they didn't like a particular feature, but if it's not just a typical variation of a feature and something that truly stands out and bothers him, I wouldn't hesitate to do it if the financial part didn't matter. 

TrMama:
I wouldn't have a problem with that, and would likely do the same thing for my child. I see fixing an asymmetry as the same as fixing a child's crooked teeth with braces. Not strictly necessary, but is very likely to improve the child's opportunities, pay, self esteem, etc over his entire life.

Note that I'd feel differently if my child asked me for a non-corrective plastic surgery, such as making a big nose smaller, or getting breast implants.

LifeHappens:
What you are talking about is correcting a (minor) deformity. We're lucky to live in a time where this is possible, safe and affordable. I would absolutely pay for this if your child is asking for it.

Abe:
I would get another consult just to get two opinions from plastic surgeons. Also make sure the surgeons you see have experience in head and neck reconstruction, specifically for children. Many community plastic surgeons have limited experience with ear reconstruction since it's rarely needed in adults (generally when we wedge out a skin cancer of the ear, for example, we usually sew the edges together and it looks fine). The ear cartilage is pretty unforgiving, so it needs to be done right the first time.

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