Adoption as a Mustachian?

[Larabeth]

FI is only around five years away for my fiancee and me.  We are considering adoption at that point... has anyone done this?  I'm concerned that adoption groups are not going to see us as stable if we retire since it is uncommon. 

I don't want to adopt before we're retired (or almost retired) because I want to be able to spend a good deal of time with the child outside of school (we want to adopt an older child, not a baby).

Any thoughts on all of this?  Has anyone had success adopting after retirement?  How did your child adapt coming into a different environment?

EDIT: I'm in the US

[Playing with Fire UK]

Whereabouts in the world are you?

In the UK (and I think some US states), you are expected for one parent to stay home for a year to bond with the child(ren), so I would expect that being FIRE could be a positive, although I would expect more questions about how you can provide for your child without an income [based on my friend's experiences of adoption-interrogation in the UK, which maybe different to elsewhere].

Would you consider an international adoption if you fell outside of your state's guidelines?

[Larabeth]

I'm in the US.  Alabama to be exact.  It might be that my fiancee decides to stay on at his job (he reallllly likes his situation) anyway, so we might end up fitting the requirements perfectly. =)

I would be interested in international adoption, but I tend to be hesitant because of how little I know/understand about it all at this point.

[shusherstache]

Hi Larabeth! Our family is planning to adopt soon. I would ask your particular agency or contact their opinion. You're going to invite them into your lives and they're going to see all your finances anyway. They may want to know either that you have a comfortable nest egg OR that you have a monthly income - just so they know you're not relying on stipends to provide for your income, which can make it tight to raise children.

[shusherstache]

Also, every environment is going to be different for an adopted child because it's not their normalized environment. You are a high-income, stable person and if you're looking at international adoption or even US foster adoption you'll be very likely dealing with Big Differences in how you live your life vs. how they've lived their life so far.

This is not by any means to dissuade you! It's just that a kid taken from one, likely underserving (whether emotionally or physically) environment and placed into another one will have had a traumatic experience and you'll have work to do with them. If I were you, I would do some reading on trauma-informed care.

[cacaoheart]

Why not save retirement for when you bring the baby home? Essentially be at the point where you CAN retire, but maintain job stability until adoption has gone through. Many jobs will give you time off/FMLA after adoption anyhow, so it's not unusual to be taking significant time off then.

[Larabeth]

Yeah, I definitely think we will wait for retirement until after we know how our finances will look with a kid.

[Larabeth]

We have adopted internationally (26 months when she came home) and through an open domestic infant adoption plus we have two bios.  Not older adoption but I think you would have no problem.  Net worth and ability to care for a child is all that usually matters.  Some countries have specific requirements such as BMI but it varies.  Research agencies to find ethical ones.  Consider Thailand!  It is a great country to adopt from!  Each kid adapts differently-it varies greatly!

I actually hadn't ever considered Thailand, but I should.  I have a great aunt from there whom I loved dearly.  thanks for the thoughts!!

[Guide2003]

Very late to the party here, so you may be committed one way or the other. My wife and I chose to foster rather than have kids (at least for now) and there is often the opportunity to adopt from the foster system. Of course, the goal is to reunite the families, but sometimes that is just not possible. From a SJW standpoint, the foster system is severely taxed and really needs good people (Mustachians!!) in it. Adopting takes a lot of time and money for many reasons, but maybe because there is a lot more demand than supply?

If you foster, you're paid by the state, a subsequent adoption would be nearly free, and you're performing a greatly needed service. In fact, there's a lot of low-income families that foster as a kind of business model to get by on just the stipend, or people who have a small income coming from disability or SS that supplement their income with a few foster kids. Some of these situations are great, others not so much, but it can be a very cheap, even profitable way to have kids. Once you adopt out of the system, or the child ages out, most states have some really great benefits for them to get them on their feet. Just some thoughts to consider for anyone else who stumbles on this thread.

[little_brown_dog]

I think low/no earned income shouldn’t be a problem as long as you can show your assets. Or you may be able to list your income from retirement under the “income” section of the paperwork if you get the go ahead to do so. You might just have to explain that you don’t need paid employment since you are wealthy and back it up with appropriate documentation. And from what I have heard, adoption agencies look kindly on stay at home parent setups as they usually have more flexibility for handling the special behavioral needs many adoptive kids have. In many ways, ER families are the ultimate for adoptions – extremely financially stable and very time flexible for whatever the child may require.

[Pigeon]

If you plan to adopt an older child and go the domestic route, you will likely be adopting through the foster care system.   Requirements and agencies vary widely on their policies depending on where you are, but I would guess that if you are financially stable and have the income to support the family, they should be fine with that.  The adoption itself should be very close to free and you should be entitled to receive some benefits for the child.

If you adopt internationally, it will likely be very expensive.  We adopted two children internationally, but they were about a year old at the time of adoption.  You will potentially have to deal with the rules or expectations of various groups, sometimes the homestudy provider, Homeland Security, the adoption agency and the sending country.  It is also generally very, very time consuming.  Expect it to take several years, start to finish.

Adopting older children means that they may have significant emotional, behavioral or physical issues that you will need to be prepared to address.  I would start researching this early to be prepared.  I'm not saying this to be negative about older child adoption, just that it's always better to be informed.

[ltt]

We also have adopted 2 children internationally.  The OP doesn't mention her age, but there are some countries you may not be allowed to adopt from because of your age or because you and your fiance's combined ages exceed a particular limit.  This is dependent upon which country you wish to adopt from--each country has their own specific set of rules.  Also, countries will look at your net worth, as well as your current income.  It normally takes a few years from the start of your adoption until the child arrives in your home, lots of background checks.

Adopting an older child internationally is not to be taken lightly whatsoever.  Many, if not most, have not had their emotional, physical, educational, etc. needs met when they were young, and it will be extremely challenging, especially in the area of education and language.  You may want to see if you can find blogs and read about adopting older children.

[Livingthedream55]

I have adopted two children internationally but there is also tons of info online about adopting within the U.S.

I would guess that you could adopt into your early 50's. In fact years ago I was in the U.S. embassy in Moscow (adopting one of my darling children) and I met a couple who had both retired on government pensions and they were in their early 50's. They were first time parents and adopting a little 3 year old girl.

So - it will depend on the agency and the country (if you were to adopt internationally) and everything will be changed five years from now! Adoption rules and requirements change constantly!!

Here is a link (just as an example) from a well regarded agency that places children from China:https://www.holtinternational.org/adoption/criteria.php

"There can be no more than a 50-year age difference between child and the younger applicant".

You have plenty of time but a good first step would be to look over your state's info http://dhr.alabama.gov/services/Adoption/intro_adoption.aspx

on adopting from the foster care system - I'm not saying that's the route to decide to go but you will get to talk to other prospective parents and can also learn who are the reputable private agencies (if you go domestic private adoption or international). It's a lot to learn but I would encourage you to get all the information you can.

Adding: You asked about how it went. I don't know if you consider a 2 1/2 year old an older child but my younger daughter was 2 1/2 and has done splendidly (learned English in 2 weeks and is a happy, healthy, loving, well-adjusted 19 year old today).  : 0 )

[hoping2retire35]

following.

This may be in our future in 5+ years. Would also be 'older' as in 3+y.o.

From what I have read Haiti and Liberia are the two easiest places to adopt from and US adoptions, other than babies, are not too difficult either.

Also thought about adopting an 18+y.o. Not sure what type of bond you would form with them, I guess at the least we could buy an apartment, help with school and early career. They would at the very least have a home to go to during the holidays, family vacations and help with grandkids.

[Pigeon]

following.

This may be in our future in 5+ years. Would also be 'older' as in 3+y.o.

From what I have read Haiti and Liberia are the two easiest places to adopt from and US adoptions, other than babies, are not too difficult either.

Also thought about adopting an 18+y.o. Not sure what type of bond you would form with them, I guess at the least we could buy an apartment, help with school and early career. They would at the very least have a home to go to during the holidays, family vacations and help with grandkids.

I think adopting a kid about to age out or older could be a really nice thing.

[ltt]

I know in some countries you would not be allowed to adopt once the child reaches a certain age---for China, it's around age 13 or 14.  At age 18, the person is an adult.  No country that I know of allows for an 18 year old to be adopted.

[hoping2retire35]

I know in some countries you would not be allowed to adopt once the child reaches a certain age---for China, it's around age 13 or 14.  At age 18, the person is an adult.  No country that I know of allows for an 18 year old to be adopted.

The US does. its not all the inspections and foster care/DSS interviews. a young adult and a couple(or just one parent) can decide that they want a relationship and sign an affidavit. Judge reviews it to make sure it doesn't seem weird for any reason. Then done.