2 vs. 3

[Chris Pascale]

4 was enough for us. ages 10-20. We're happy to have them, and they are happy to have each other. Some years were lean (not lean FIRE, but lean lean) but it was what was right for us.

During the lockdown, I was very fortunate that we had enough space for privacy, but enough people not to be lonely.

[mrs sideways]

I'd disagree that you'll know for sure if you have the right amount of kids. I will always kind of regret not having a 3rd (especially because our families on both sides are whittling down to nothing, due to childfree adults and only children) but I think we made the right decision stopping at 2. Various reasons include:

- Our house is 1200 sq ft with 3 bedrooms: another kid meant someone would have to share a room, and there's not a lot of room to share.
- The second kid was much, MUCH harder than the first, and the sleep deprivation nearly broke me.
- Husband and I were getting older and autism (along with other disorders) loomed large in our minds.
- Our neighbors two houses away went for kid #3, and got surprise #4 at the same time.

If we had started younger or gotten a bigger house, we might have gone for it. As it was, getting my tubes taken out was, I think, probably, hopefully, the right move.

[Del Griffith]

Update: Number 3 arriving later this year :)

[HPstache]

Update: Number 3 arriving later this year :)

R.I.P. !

j/k

[middo]

Update: Number 3 arriving later this year :)

:)

[Del Griffith]

Update: Number 3 arriving later this year :)

R.I.P. !

j/k

*nervous laughter*

But in all seriousness, I just now went back and reread this thread and all its wisdom. As the months passed I continued to have the nagging thought that we just weren’t done. My husband was also going back and forth and ultimately believed 3 was the right number for us in the larger picture. His sign off sealed the deal. I know abstractly it’s going to be wild — the second and third will be just over 21 months apart — but feel this was it for us. I think I could’ve been perfectly happy with 2, and maybe the thought would’ve eventually gone away, but even with the list of justifications and logical reasoning why 3 was the number for us, I think in the end it just came down to a feeling. I’m sure I’m going to be eating my words when the time comes, but we just survived year one with a firecracker and I know how quickly things change and how the hellish newborn phase does indeed pass. Thank you to you and all the others who shared their experiences. It was absolutely food for thought.

[tooqk4u22]

Update: Number 3 arriving later this year :)

R.I.P. !

j/k

RIP.....hahaha....you wish, there will be no rest or peace.

But congrats

[Mrs. D.]

Update: Number 3 arriving later this year :)

Congratulations! So exciting that you and spouse made the decision to go for a 3rd. Our 3rd arrived in October and she has been the most wonderful addition to the family. It's a little crazy, but such a sweet time in life. I hope your pregnancy goes smoothly and you're feeling good.