Author Topic: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread  (Read 57727 times)

Prospector

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #350 on: March 09, 2017, 01:04:36 PM »
And just to make sure everyone is clear, our meetup is nothing like the MMM one mentioned here:

http://moneyboss.com/frugal-shaming-and-financial-one-upmanship/

We are all very aware of the "log in our eye" and admit them to the group.  I still have cable and a home phone.  There are two of us living in 1400 sq ft.

I don't think you should move. This makes me feel good about our house. Which also still has a home phone.  :)
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #351 on: March 09, 2017, 10:46:32 PM »
And just to make sure everyone is clear, our meetup is nothing like the MMM one mentioned here:

http://moneyboss.com/frugal-shaming-and-financial-one-upmanship/

We are all very aware of the "log in our eye" and admit them to the group.  I still have cable and a home phone.  There are two of us living in 1400 sq ft.

I don't think you should move. This makes me feel good about our house. Which also still has a home phone.  :)

Wow, plainjane, I'm really glad you linked to that.  Do you know if it's been posted anywhere else on the forum?  I haven't been online much today.  I'm actually really upset on behalf of the folks who participated in that meet-up - I feel like the person who shared those thoughts with J.D. Roth betrayed the trust of the other people in that group.  And I definitely think that a really good article about that topic could have been written without basically calling them out in such an identifying way.  Anything he's subsequently posted back-pedalling about his relationship with MMM himself doesn't make it better, because it's the people who attend that meet-up that have been publicly shamed. 

I've made a comment, which I rarely do.  It's awaiting moderation, but I'll post it here too.  I made it in response to another person's comment.

Other poster said:  I had that happen once were I was talking to a very frugal PF blogger and told her about how I was trying to cut back more but there were some areas that were more difficult-but Iím still trying to find solutions. I pointed what those things are. The next week there was a blog post basically outlining everything I did (without saying my name) and blogging about how she does it better or she canít believe anyone would spend money on that. Perfect example, eh? Great article!

My response:  Tonya, you seem to be upset about finding your personal details Ė even without your name Ė being published by that frugal PF blogger. Yet you are commending this article, which essentially does the same thing to others. Iím curious how you think the people who attended that MMM meet-up might be feeling right about now, first being talked about behind their back, and then having that information shared in an article? Especially given that anyone participating in the MMM forums would be able to identify at least their online personas!

For the record, I am a participating member of the MMM forum, but not in the U.S. Iíve attended a couple of MMM meet-ups, and like someone else said, have experienced 100% support, an 0% shame.

J.D. Roth, I think it is a shame that you felt it was necessary to identify this particular group of people who chose to trust in meeting up with virtual strangers, and expose them for the sake of an article. This same article could easily have been written about the frugal one-upmanship dynamic prevalent in *various* parts of the PF/frugality world, without any reference to MMM, the location of the meet-up, or its date.


Hey guys, can we make a pact? 

What happens in the Toronto MMM Meet-Up, stays in the Toronto MMM Meet-Up?  And especially, is not shared in a blog, or shared with a blogger, without permission from anyone who might be implicated in the story.  I think that kind of trust is important, and I even suspect that consent would be freely given, as long as privacy is appropriately respected...
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #352 on: March 10, 2017, 07:09:48 AM »
Do you know if it's been posted anywhere else on the forum?  I haven't been online much today. 
[...]
Hey guys, can we make a pact? 

What happens in the Toronto MMM Meet-Up, stays in the Toronto MMM Meet-Up?  And especially, is not shared in a blog, or shared with a blogger, without permission from anyone who might be implicated in the story.  I think that kind of trust is important, and I even suspect that consent would be freely given, as long as privacy is appropriately respected...

I haven't seen it anywhere else, but the forum moves so quickly.  I only caught it because it was highlighted in Rockstar Finance.

I don't know how I feel about "what happens/stays".  I mean, the bacon syrup is being joked about - granted I brought it up here first - and I like that it gives people a sense (I was going to say flavour, but decided that would be too obvious) that we are pretty low key and welcoming.  But I also feel that people should be careful about sharing stories online that aren't theirs.  IDK.  It feels like this should be a balance.  Similar to how my SO has a name at the meetup, but not online?
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Prospector

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #353 on: March 10, 2017, 07:20:16 AM »
Do you know if it's been posted anywhere else on the forum?  I haven't been online much today. 
[...]
Hey guys, can we make a pact? 

What happens in the Toronto MMM Meet-Up, stays in the Toronto MMM Meet-Up?  And especially, is not shared in a blog, or shared with a blogger, without permission from anyone who might be implicated in the story.  I think that kind of trust is important, and I even suspect that consent would be freely given, as long as privacy is appropriately respected...

I haven't seen it anywhere else, but the forum moves so quickly.  I only caught it because it was highlighted in Rockstar Finance.

I don't know how I feel about "what happens/stays".  I mean, the bacon syrup is being joked about - granted I brought it up here first - and I like that it gives people a sense (I was going to say flavour, but decided that would be too obvious) that we are pretty low key and welcoming.  But I also feel that people should be careful about sharing stories online that aren't theirs.  IDK.  It feels like this should be a balance.  Similar to how my SO has a name at the meetup, but not online?

Yeah - Norbert sounds like a great guy.

But seriously, at the meetup, its a bunch of pals around a table. Ideas are shared, but I think discretion needs to be applied. Discretion means that the essence of what is said can be shared without details and without being a dick. The problem arises when someone with a poor sense of discretion starts sharing beyond the group - and there is no way to control that one individual - or know who it may be.

When we were active in sailing, I once wrote up an article for a local magazine. I shared it with a forumite for editing. The other person agreed it was great - then submitted it on my behalf to a larger publication - because it was so great. The larger publication claimed rights on it without ever publishing, and the local mag could no longer use the piece. I lost out on both ends. Poor discretion can hurt people. A lot.

You never know what people might do, and although we have a sense of each other, trust is a gamble. The way I see things, my role is to be as trustworthy and to have as much discretion as I can. But then I have to trust others to do the same, while expecting them not to. No one here has signed a code of ethics, and no one has made any promises. Its up to you to decide what you are comfortable sharing and how much.

FWIW, at the meetup, Jane and I were discussing our income levels - I was comfortable sharing that with our group, but was more concerned about someone else in the plaza overhearing. I trust our people. but I still know its on me to decide how much is appropriate to share. Of course I broadcast that same information all over my journal...
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #354 on: March 10, 2017, 11:23:55 AM »
As you say Prospector, we haven't signed a code of conduct, and I'm not suggesting actually writing one out.  But I do think it's worth stating publicly that there are assumptions we make when we get together, which is that we are trusting each other with certain details of our personal and our financial lives, and that we hope - no, expect - that people will exercise discretion with them.  Of course, we can't control what people do, but we can as a subset of the larger MMM community, make it clear what the community standards are.  Just like, by posting the article here, plainjane, you're suggesting to any Toronto area lurkers that frugal one-upmanship is not part of our community standard, and subtly communicating to them that they shouldn't come to a meet-up with that attitude.

For anyone linking over to the article, you'll see the comment I made.  I think he missed my point in the response, so I will post a follow-up.  I'm just trying to formulate it in my mind first.  The thing is that he could have told exactly the same story, not naming the city in which the meet-up took place, or which online community it related to. That would have been fine.  My big issue is that he's not actually kept things as anonymous as he thinks.  Anyone who read this forum can figure out who the people are, who are usually a part of that group.

(I have a secondary issue with the fact that he can't say for sure what that group is like, since he wasn't at the meet-up himself and is relying on information filtered through someone else's perceptions.  But let's not go there right now.)

TL; DR - Sharing bacon and cookie reports are fine, but let's keep personal details we learn about each other to ourselves.  Share people's stories with others only in ways that don't risk them being personally identified.  There's a big difference in saying "I was talking to someone the other day who's trying to change careers because their industry has lots of issues," and saying "I was talking to someone at the Toronto MMM Meet-Up, who works in X industry, and is trying to change careers because of it."  Remember that anyone you share with, may also share with others, and you lose control over how they tell the story.  Some may even choose to share that story with the wider world.  (Oh, see, I did go there after all!)
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #355 on: March 22, 2017, 07:13:49 AM »
Hey Torontonians, my daughter just got accepted into the Film Studies program at Ryerson in the fall.  Any leads on housing, jobs, or contacts in the biz would be welcomed!
Plus this means I'll be in TO occasionally and I'm always up for meeting more MMMers! 
We live in Kingston.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #356 on: March 22, 2017, 07:17:35 AM »
Hey Torontonians, my daughter just got accepted into the Film Studies program at Ryerson in the fall.  Any leads on housing, jobs, or contacts in the biz would be welcomed!
Plus this means I'll be in TO occasionally and I'm always up for meeting more MMMers! 
We live in Kingston.

Congrats to your daughter! My boss is a Ryerson grad from Kingston - she has many stories...
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #357 on: March 28, 2017, 11:05:47 AM »
Hey Torontonians, my daughter just got accepted into the Film Studies program at Ryerson in the fall.  Any leads on housing, jobs, or contacts in the biz would be welcomed!
Plus this means I'll be in TO occasionally and I'm always up for meeting more MMMers! 
We live in Kingston.

Re: housing, I would recommend something nearby. I have friends who did film at Ryerson and that means plenty of late hours in the editing room. I would avoid Jarvis and Parliament area, but anywhere else is pretty much fair game.

Congrats to your daughter!

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #358 on: March 28, 2017, 12:44:11 PM »
Thanks Prospector and tomatops!
Tomatops are your friends using their degrees in film?  Were they happy with the program?
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #359 on: April 04, 2017, 09:48:49 AM »
Thanks Prospector and tomatops!
Tomatops are your friends using their degrees in film?  Were they happy with the program?

So sorry with the late reply - I don't monitor as much as I should!

My sample size is small - one friend who combined film and theatre and now works at the Canadian Opera Company and is super competent. I never really pried, but the Ryerson's film/theatre programs are very hands on (this based on my research when I went to theatre school at York) but a big part of it is drive. Their grads are kind of everywhere in a good way.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #360 on: April 09, 2017, 12:54:25 PM »
Hey! Any chance you all will be planning another meetup in the next couple of weeks?
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okits

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #361 on: April 10, 2017, 12:19:41 AM »
Hey! Any chance you all will be planning another meetup in the next couple of weeks?

Ok, I'm going to suggest a date of Tuesday April 25.

That should be late enough into April for PJ, avoids MMM_donuts' course, and Prospector's Scouts/Cadets/swimming.

plainjane suggested Apr 25. 

I'm not sure, yet, what I can make it out to, so I'll let everyone else give input and try to work with what everyone else decides.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #362 on: April 10, 2017, 07:39:35 PM »
plainjane suggested Apr 25. 

Apr 25th works for me, but my schedule is pretty free :)
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #363 on: April 15, 2017, 10:37:57 PM »
We will barely be home from vacation then.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #364 on: April 16, 2017, 06:11:52 PM »
plainjane suggested Apr 25. 

Apr 25th works for me, but my schedule is pretty free :)
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #365 on: April 16, 2017, 07:09:47 PM »
Ok, csr said that in First Canadian Place (BMO) in the PATH level, around the corner adjacent to the LCBO there are nice round soft seats in a (semi)circular setup. 

Apr 25, 6:15pm.  Bring food for yourself/to share.  We are a friendly bunch and welcome posters, lurkers, previous attendees and newbies.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #366 on: April 17, 2017, 06:05:41 AM »
I'll be there!

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #367 on: April 18, 2017, 09:03:31 AM »
Planning to be there. Silly question: Beer/wine isn't allowed in the public parts of the PATH is it?
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #368 on: April 21, 2017, 03:31:41 PM »
Planning to be there. Silly question: Beer/wine isn't allowed in the public parts of the PATH is it?

Alas, I don't think it is.  You'd need to be very circumspect. 

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #369 on: April 21, 2017, 04:06:55 PM »
I need to sit this one out.  Have a great time, everyone that's able to make it!

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #370 on: April 21, 2017, 06:25:58 PM »
Team meeting takes precedence unfortunately. We'll get together soon.

Are you back from offsite and relatively uninjured?

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #371 on: April 21, 2017, 06:40:11 PM »
I think I can make it. Need to check Mommas schedule.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #372 on: April 22, 2017, 09:50:39 AM »
Team meeting takes precedence unfortunately. We'll get together soon.

Are you back from offsite and relatively uninjured?

Back from the offsite where there was way too much food, flying out for a client presentation on Wednesday.  As for injuries, I am still mobile, and the pain isn't excessive unless I apply pressure.  I am just hoping that it gets better before I need to get on the plane - long periods of immobility have historically not been helpful.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #373 on: April 22, 2017, 09:00:09 PM »
Ok, csr said that in First Canadian Place (BMO) in the PATH level, around the corner adjacent to the LCBO there are nice round soft seats in a (semi)circular setup. 

Apr 25, 6:15pm.  Bring food for yourself/to share.  We are a friendly bunch and welcome posters, lurkers, previous attendees and newbies.

The seats are on the elevated platform near the elevators. There's also more seating around the corner from the BMO ATMs heading towards Scotia Plaza in front of Harry Rosen. See Map:

http://www.fcpfirst.com/stores/map/harry-rosen-

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #374 on: April 24, 2017, 09:37:37 PM »
I'm going to be a bit late this time.. I'll be there around 7.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #375 on: April 25, 2017, 11:34:08 AM »
Hey hey hey all!

I haven't been on in weeks, and I'm really sorry about that.  I see I have a ton of messages, which I don't have time to look at right now, and I guess that means my personal e-mail is also probably full of notifications.  REALLY busy time around the church, what with Lent / Holy Week / Easter, and compounded with a ton of funerals all at once, and some family stuff. 

But, I did have the meet-up marked in my book and am planning on heading downtown after work today to try to connect with you all.  Visiting people who are sick at home or in hospital this afternoon, so not sure exactly what time I will get down there though.  Will check to see which phone numbers I programmed in my phone last time, and will try to connect with someone (Prospector?) on my way down to make sure y'all are there!
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #376 on: April 25, 2017, 01:06:08 PM »
Will check to see which phone numbers I programmed in my phone last time, and will try to connect with someone (Prospector?) on my way down to make sure y'all are there!

Have sent you a PM with my cell in case Prospector isn't around and you're able to pick it up.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #377 on: April 25, 2017, 01:43:19 PM »
J1 will be coming with me. We'll be there but likely will leave a little earlier than usual.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #378 on: April 25, 2017, 04:08:39 PM »
I'll be there @6:15. I've got a bright green jacket.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #379 on: April 25, 2017, 09:46:26 PM »
Nice meetup and fun chat today. Great to meet new people and see some familiar faces. Thanks for organizing and the suggestion of very convenient location.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #380 on: April 25, 2017, 10:12:41 PM »
'Twas super fun. Great to meet you all! Thanks plainjane for organizing.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #381 on: April 26, 2017, 09:02:25 AM »
My wife and I had great time last night.  Looking forward to more in the future!

Here is the link to that community space I mentioned.
https://www.318queen.com/

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #382 on: May 25, 2017, 08:15:24 AM »
Has anyone planned anything for May/June?

I'm thinking we should not do the picnic on Toronto Island just yet.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #383 on: May 25, 2017, 08:41:19 AM »
Has anyone planned anything for May/June?

I'm thinking we should not do the picnic on Toronto Island just yet.
I'm in the city and stressed from the 10th to 21st June, but as yet my exam schedule is a mystery.

We could watch me fall asleep on a table June 21st after its all over?

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #384 on: May 26, 2017, 11:14:41 AM »
I'm a MMM forum lurker but would be interested in the next meetup :)

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #385 on: May 26, 2017, 01:05:33 PM »
Has anyone planned anything for May/June?

I'm thinking we should not do the picnic on Toronto Island just yet.
I'm in the city and stressed from the 10th to 21st June, but as yet my exam schedule is a mystery.

We could watch me fall asleep on a table June 21st after its all over?

So far my June 21st evening is free.  IIRC, the group has found a preferred PATH food court in which to congregate/squat?

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #386 on: June 05, 2017, 07:45:25 PM »
Does anybody have a copy of today's Metro newspaper?  Please PM me if you do.  :) Thank you!

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #387 on: June 14, 2017, 08:18:28 AM »
Do people still want to meet on the 21st?  Is the underground PATH seating area preferred, or do we want to try for something outside?  Maybe Berczy Park on Wellington and if it rains we go to the Tim Hortons on the corner?

http://www1.toronto.ca/parks/prd/facilities/complex/277/index.htm
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #388 on: June 14, 2017, 09:57:50 AM »
I'll be busy that night - last Cadets of the year, but if anyone wants to join me this Sunday (Fathers Day) at Oshawa's "Fiesta Parade" followed by eating ethnic foods in Memorial Park, I'll meet you at the GO Station. PM me to set things up.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #389 on: June 14, 2017, 12:25:44 PM »
Is there another night that's better for you, Prospector

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #390 on: June 14, 2017, 12:38:30 PM »
Is there another night that's better for you, Prospector?

As much as I love you guys setting things up around my schedule, its sortof unfair to everyone else! Go with the date you have set and I'll catch you next time.
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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #391 on: June 14, 2017, 12:51:49 PM »
I'm down for June 21 and for the park.

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #392 on: June 14, 2017, 05:04:20 PM »
Do people still want to meet on the 21st?  Is the underground PATH seating area preferred, or do we want to try for something outside?  Maybe Berczy Park on Wellington and if it rains we go to the Tim Hortons on the corner?

http://www1.toronto.ca/parks/prd/facilities/complex/277/index.htm
At minimum, I'll have a backpacking pack, a tote, and my purse... And no hiking boots. Is there good takeout between a subway station and the park? Or can I convince everyone to eat in a restaurant?

Prosp, our schedules are not aligning recently, but we'll fix that eventually.

okits

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #393 on: June 14, 2017, 05:47:15 PM »
Do people still want to meet on the 21st?  Is the underground PATH seating area preferred, or do we want to try for something outside?  Maybe Berczy Park on Wellington and if it rains we go to the Tim Hortons on the corner?

http://www1.toronto.ca/parks/prd/facilities/complex/277/index.htm
At minimum, I'll have a backpacking pack, a tote, and my purse... And no hiking boots. Is there good takeout between a subway station and the park? Or can I convince everyone to eat in a restaurant?

Prosp, our schedules are not aligning recently, but we'll fix that eventually.

I am happy to eat in a (reasonable value - don't take away my Mustachian card!) restaurant.  We can meet in the park/PATH, afterwards, with anyone who wants to skip the dinner part.

Mmm_Donuts

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #394 on: June 15, 2017, 05:31:58 AM »
I can't make it next Wednesday, but if my plans change I'll be there!

plainjane

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #395 on: June 15, 2017, 06:48:12 AM »
Do people still want to meet on the 21st?  Is the underground PATH seating area preferred, or do we want to try for something outside?  Maybe Berczy Park on Wellington and if it rains we go to the Tim Hortons on the corner?
http://www1.toronto.ca/parks/prd/facilities/complex/277/index.htm
At minimum, I'll have a backpacking pack, a tote, and my purse... And no hiking boots. Is there good takeout between a subway station and the park? Or can I convince everyone to eat in a restaurant?
I am happy to eat in a (reasonable value - don't take away my Mustachian card!) restaurant.  We can meet in the park/PATH, afterwards, with anyone who wants to skip the dinner part.

Sukhothai at 52 Wellington http://www.sukhothaifood.ca/wellington at 6pm?  And then move to the park at 7?  They do takeout as well if anyone is running late.

If that menu looks too pricey, there is also Loaded Perogie or Paramount (Lebanese) a few minutes away and both also do takeout.  (Before anyone recos them, I will put it on the record that I dislike Hot House and Frans.)

Mmm_Donuts - I'm sorry you can't come.  Hopefully next time!
Using procrastination to my advantage since 2001.

okits

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #396 on: June 15, 2017, 07:39:48 AM »
Sukhothai looks great.  I would be very happy to go there.  I'll probably be closer to 6:15, given the timing of DH getting home so I can go out.

ElleFiji

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #397 on: June 15, 2017, 03:49:43 PM »
Sukho Thai looks great. I tried to share a link to paramount last night, but my phone didn't cooperate.
And I'm glad I didnt.

My time could vary, but 615 seems very likely. And if I'll miss the restaurant section entirely, i might ask one of you to pick up takeout and give you cash.

csr

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #398 on: June 17, 2017, 08:09:11 PM »
Dont think i can make this one =(
Have fun

plainjane

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Re: Toronto Community/Meetup Discussion Thread
« Reply #399 on: June 19, 2017, 11:37:34 AM »
Sorry you can't join us CSR

I'm going to make a reservation under my name for 6.  PM me if you need it.  We'll plan to be at the park by 7pm, and I'll bring a blanket for people who want to sit on the grass.

(ETA: I tried for 615, but they asked for me to come earlier.  I'll hold the table until people arrive)
« Last Edit: June 19, 2017, 11:43:06 AM by plainjane »
Using procrastination to my advantage since 2001.