Author Topic: Where to invest $4.5 million today?  (Read 4596 times)

GreenEggs

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Re: Where to invest $4.5 million today?
« Reply #50 on: April 22, 2017, 04:41:47 PM »
 
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While I understand wanting to help your dad yourself - doing it 24/7 is incredibly wearing. With that level of cash, you should be able to get him some professional care part of the time.

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I agree and do plan to get help soon, but it's been a bit complicated. 

Short version:  He became vision impaired last Spring, and I came down to help him with that.  As I was trying to get nursing help for him he was diagnosed with a recurrence of throat cancer, which required 6 weeks of radiation, so it wasn't a good time to leave him then. After the cancer he couldn't swallow & needed a temporary feeding tube, & he's trying to regain strength now.  And.....now his back hurts. 

While all this has been going on I have been able get him to get a will, living will, financial & health care POA's, and trusts drawn.  We've transferred all his real estate, and accounts to his trust.  I researched his estate tax situation, including the cash stash, and worked out legal solutions for preserving the family wealth.  None of that was in place a year ago, and I couldn't have persuaded him to work on it before his health "softened" his stubborn nature. 

After I get the cash invested my real & lasting purpose here will be complete.  I love my screwed up dad, because he's my dad, but I've always known his days are numbered.  Something will eventually take him.  I have always been one to embrace a challenge, so I have enjoyed some parts of all this. It's been interesting to deal with the medical, financial, legal, psychological, etc. issues.  It's almost like living in multiple story lines, like a lot of TV shows, at the same time.  That has created a lot of mental stress, which is just as complex & has evolved along with the "stories".  It was tough at times, but I never could see a good time to make the transition to get some help, until now. 

I'm not trying to get into heaven, but I'm trying to do my best at making some lasting improvements in the lives of a number of people, across three generations (and hopefully beyond) of my family.  This has been a huge opportunity in that sense, and every bit of stress has been well worth it. 

After it's behind me I'm looking forward to screwing around & enjoying life again.  :) 


lhamo

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Re: Where to invest $4.5 million today?
« Reply #51 on: April 22, 2017, 05:08:02 PM »
You've done a good and noble thing, MGE.  I hope your family appreciates it (and you)!

Re:  the pain -- could this be a sign that the cancer has metastasized?    I hope not, but seems like it might be.   Have you been able to convince your dad to talk with palliative care yet?   I know he decided to have the surgery last time, and it seems to have given him longer life, but really, if you can just get him to talk to the palliative care team they might be able to win him over.  They really are a different breed, and so helpful.   I think his final days would be much improved -- and probably longer -- if he started working with them earlier rather than later.  One of the biggest gifts in our situation with my mom is that she has been open to palliative care and hospice from very early on.   She has a strong faith, so I think that is part of it.  But from the moment she decided she didn't want to go through heart surgery again, it has been so much easier for all of us because the main question is not how long can we keep mom alive, but how can we help her be as comfortable and happy as possible.   That immediately rules out most invasive procedures, and makes other decisions (e.g. up the diuretics, and risk kidney damage, or let her lungs fill with so much fluid she can hardly breathe) easier -- we have chosen to up the diuretics every time, which relieves mom's breathing struggles, and makes her more comfortable and happier.   Eventually we may have to deal with kidney failure, but from what I have read that is an easier/less traumatic death than fluid overload. We'll see, I guess.  Anyway, my main point in this ramble is that it was talking with palliative care that made it easier to get comfortable with some of the stark details/choices, and help mom make the choices that were right for her.

Good luck to you and your dad.   I hope he can accept outside help soon, so that you can get the break you need.
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GreenEggs

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Re: Where to invest $4.5 million today?
« Reply #52 on: April 22, 2017, 07:51:31 PM »
You've done a good and noble thing, MGE.  I hope your family appreciates it (and you)!

Re:  the pain -- could this be a sign that the cancer has metastasized?    I hope not, but seems like it might be.   Have you been able to convince your dad to talk with palliative care yet?   I know he decided to have the surgery last time, and it seems to have given him longer life, but really, if you can just get him to talk to the palliative care team they might be able to win him over.  They really are a different breed, and so helpful.   I think his final days would be much improved -- and probably longer -- if he started working with them earlier rather than later.  One of the biggest gifts in our situation with my mom is that she has been open to palliative care and hospice from very early on.   She has a strong faith, so I think that is part of it.  But from the moment she decided she didn't want to go through heart surgery again, it has been so much easier for all of us because the main question is not how long can we keep mom alive, but how can we help her be as comfortable and happy as possible.   That immediately rules out most invasive procedures, and makes other decisions (e.g. up the diuretics, and risk kidney damage, or let her lungs fill with so much fluid she can hardly breathe) easier -- we have chosen to up the diuretics every time, which relieves mom's breathing struggles, and makes her more comfortable and happier.   Eventually we may have to deal with kidney failure, but from what I have read that is an easier/less traumatic death than fluid overload. We'll see, I guess.  Anyway, my main point in this ramble is that it was talking with palliative care that made it easier to get comfortable with some of the stark details/choices, and help mom make the choices that were right for her.

Good luck to you and your dad.   I hope he can accept outside help soon, so that you can get the break you need.


Thanks for mentioning palliative care again, which I know you've repeated more than once, I realize you are right.  I admit I have been buying time, for both selfish & unselfish reasons. 

On a health related note, I have been tinkering with dad's meds a little, since he's on a PEG (feeding tube).  The edema in his right ankle & leg wasn't going away using the diuretics, so I remembered he had some cranberry concentrate that we'd tried earlier, but he didn't like the flavor (he's a picky whiner).  Anyway, I used it instead of the Furosemide & the swelling went down in two days.  He was able to stop wearing the compression socks too.
I've been battling his dementia moments by using nicotine patches & then added a dose of coffee, which seems to perk up his brain.  The coffee has the added benefit of being a quick acting laxative!  I'm also going to add some acidophilus, and maybe some green barley powder.   Of course the problem is if his mind fails I don't know if he'd want a healthy(ier) body keeping him alive...

I realize the back pain could be the cancer has metastasized, & he'll be getting a PET scan in a few weeks. 

Sort'a adds to the "it's hard to figure out a "good time" to leave".  Well, at least my head is in a much better place than it was a few months ago. 


trollwithamustache

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Re: Where to invest $4.5 million today?
« Reply #53 on: April 25, 2017, 10:57:16 AM »
A slightly different take... as long as the broker isn't trading/running up fees, its OK to leave the money there.

Thing 1. Stuff is about to get expensive and your dad needs to have cash in savings/checking for the end of life expenses that hopefully won't go too crazy on you too fast.

Thing 2. With real assets you need a good estate attorney to make sure stuff is taken care of right, your dad is secure and legal fallout afterwards is minimal.

Thing 3. Hospice, in home care, ect: since you have the funds available don't be scared to ramp this up sooner than later. You need to take care of yourself too and you need to try to enjoy what time you can with him.

Asset allocation and type of brokerage accounts are less important. Younger folk need to optimize their fee structure, but your dad has enough cash to make it, so making it in a well organized fashion is more important.

Mighty-Dollar

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Re: Where to invest $4.5 million today?
« Reply #54 on: April 26, 2017, 03:43:11 AM »
Get out of EJ. Invest in a couple of index funds. BND and SPY. How much you invest in one versus the other? Use these sites to help decide on a bond/stock allocation ratio that matches desired level of risk...
https://www.blackrock.com/wte/core-builder/us?refType=fi
https://personal.vanguard.com/us/funds/tools/recommendation?reset=true
https://gps.ricedelman.com/
http://www.vanguard.com/nesteggcalculator