If the IRA and 401k are pretty similar in terms of fees and investment options, the question becomes would you rather make Roth or traditional contributions. You should look at your marginal tax rate now, and compare it to what you estimate your marginal tax rate will be when your are retired and start withdrawing those funds. Lower tax rate in retirement would favor traditional contributions today.
There is some uncertainty in trying to estimate what your tax rate will be in the future, so there is some benefit in having some tax diversification, with funds in both tax deferred and tax free accounts. If you think you will have a similar tax rate now and in retirement, I would probably opt for maxing out the Roth IRA, but don't stress too much about the choice, they are both good options.
Traditional IRA deductibility income limits are based on your MAGI, somewhere around $103,000 for MFJ filers in 2021. You can deduct your traditional 401k contributions and your HSA contributions from your gross to see if you can deduct (probably not if your soon to be spouse also works, probably yes if they do not.)