I'll open with the fact that the irony of asking this forum (that is filled with people constantly talking/worrying about money) about not worrying about money is not lost on me, but here goes...
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I've reviewed it hundreds of times - multiple times per day, every day for several weeks now. The numbers never change, and I can't* optimize it further, […] And yet, I can't stop compulsively checking the spreadsheet, projecting the next month's pay-down, looking for something I might have missed.
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I've read every article ever written on MMM. Multiple times. Again in search of something I may have missed. Some perspective to get it all to "click". Acutely aware of the law of diminishing returns.
[…] In short, how did you give yourself the gift of not worrying about money?
I come here to plan about money, not worry about it. MMM is simple enough to provide more time for me to pursue my interests, in this case money and society. I’d like to address two social functions at work in this query: 1) the 40 hr, 8-5, 52 weeks each year that drives an understanding that time given to an activity equals improvement; 2) the frequently repeated, perceived financial woe and complexity that MMM often speaks against.
1) My passion is wildly violent and vascilating and cannot be defined or constrained by absolute yet arbitrary parameters such as 8-5. I hate fluorescent lights. I have worked in windowless rooms. Leaving 8-5 is my #1 FIRE reason!!! During times of brief unemployment it was both frightening and liberating to wake up without a plan for the day. At first I felt that if I wasn’t staring at my communication devices from 8-5 for any incoming job prospects that I might miss the one perfect opportunity because someone else called back faster. It was magical thinking and did not drive a healthy day. After reorganizing my priorities, I realized that I am an early bird! I had previously hated waking up for constant monotony and thought I was a night owl. I really enjoy waking up for exercise outside somehow then having a big breakfast soon after. I can check email every two or four hours and still stay in motion.
a. I recommend making your role in your personal financial maintenance very explicit. Write down what you have to do and why (pay monthly rent/mortgage so we can enjoy our home together; student loan debt to deliver higher earning potential; retirement funds so we can leave 8-5). Once you are comfortable with your responsibilities, you can forget about them until necessary. For example
i. ensure that account balances support automatic withdrawals (monthly)
ii. ensure automatic payments occurred (monthly)
iii. check for fraudulent activity (monthly)
iv. budget and track budget (monthly/bi monthly)
v. check investment progress (annually)
2) As MMM describes, it can be difficult to snap your brain’s dependency on certain structures that have become hidden reality. But with finances, I now no longer believe the 8-5 theme that involvement = progress. I propose: managing requirements = progress. MMM's system of financial automation and self-exploration seems too simple. It should be harder. I too made amazing spreadsheets with variability in income, expenses, interest rates, career choices, and accidents and the numbers always come back ridiculous against my need. If you have a decent income, can understand how to live a ridiculous life of true comfort while barely spending, and can do basic math, it's pretty fucking simple. Numbers become irrelevant soon, and you start to think about what to do with your time.
a. Know what you need to do, take care of it, and then remind yourself that it is taken care of, then
redirect! If MMM has become a space for you to worry about money, it won't help to be here.
b. When you have a good financial plan that you can trust, it should be easier to start replacing negative financial themes with positive themes. You can actively say to yourself, “finances are simple. I can focus on something else now.” Execute your plan. and live your ridiculously truly comfortable life. Then you can focus on something else. Learn something new. Teach something new. Make something. Introduce discomfort! This is how I use the MMM community: for growth and gusto, including financial. I am empowered by MMM.
c. My chosen financial theme is “my choices now are providing options later.”
Best o luck!