Author Topic: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family  (Read 601 times)

BookLoverL

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Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« on: January 13, 2018, 11:19:36 AM »
Since making the decision to become self-employed, I've been constantly on the lookout for opportunities to get new clients, find new income sources, and generally become a better entrepreneur. However, every time I mention my ideas to my family, even though they are theoretically supportive of self-employment and have both successfully freelanced (my mum transitioned from employee-status to self-employed status in the industry she'd previously worked in, and my dad has moved from employment to consulting and now owns a business using the same sort of skillset as he used before), they always give me negative comments. Both the industries they were/are in were high-demand industries, but for which I don't find the type of work that would be required interesting. I haven't really been looking for their approval of my ideas, but it's still a bit disheartening.

Whenever I suggest an idea I came up with to make a bit of money (not necessarily loads, but a bit) to my mum that's different from the idea I initially had as my "main" idea the first week I was self-employed, trying to think outside the box a bit and increase my success, she's all, "Oh, that won't work!" or "Who is going to buy this?" and stuff. I had an idea to make money on holiday, and she said that no one would want to pay me to do the thing I thought of because I wouldn't be a local and there wouldn't be that many people needing that particular service anyway. All I was trying to do was think of a way of covering my holiday costs while on the holiday, since they're a significant chunk of my (already low) expenses for the year, but she was being such a crab about it. I'm still planning to look for opportunities to use this idea, though.

And my dad, while much more supportive of entrepreneurship in general, keeps suggesting I drop my own ideas and take up web design instead. Please note here that while I know a little programming and web design, currently my coding skills are just about good enough to produce something out of the nineties. I only find about 20% of the web design process interesting. I don't want to put in the time it would take to get good enough at web design to do websites from scratch for paying customers. He knows this. Why does he keep suggesting it to me?

Plus, even though they keep dissing my ideas, they are putting pressure on me to earn money faster. I was trying to suggest areas where we could cut back on the household budget, and Mum said something like, "Never mind saving, how about earning more?" I thought, what do you think I'm trying to do by coming up with all these ideas and teaching myself how to market and sell things better?

I love them, I really do, but I often wish they understood my mindset better.

Anybody else have problems with unsupportive or negative friends or family?
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MrMoneySaver

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2018, 11:36:43 AM »
This will always be the case -- friends and family and random internet people will always shit on your self-employment ideas. It's an integral feature of self-employment.

My all-time (least) favorite phrase: "The market is saturated!" No matter the market, it's always "saturated" -- according to everyone.

You'd think the market for fast-food burgers would be saturated by now. And yet I saw a new McDonald's opening the other day.

You'll have to grow a thick skin.

BookLoverL

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2018, 11:42:54 AM »
Yeah, I guess I'm working on it. They certainly haven't put me off self-employment...

It would just make the house somewhat more harmonious if all our goals were in better alignment, I guess.
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ysette9

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2018, 06:34:48 PM »
I think you need to stop discussing your ideas with your parents. They have shown that they will poop ok whatever you come up with and suggest you do things you don’t have interest or skill in. So you know in advance what they will come out with. Unless you plan on taking their advice and living your life according to their whims, stop telling them. Seek out a more supportive ear, whether that be friends or some kind of online community.
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SC93

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2018, 09:41:53 PM »
My all-time (least) favorite phrase: "The market is saturated!" No matter the market, it's always "saturated" -- according to everyone.

^^^ Yes!! I HATE when people say that ^^^

Once you get serious you won't mention your ideas to anyone in your household. All you are doing is intentionally asking for trouble. Knowing what they will say, why do you continue to talk about it with them? 

Maybe you need to get a regular job, learn how to make a little money, move out of your parents house and then you are free to do what you want when you want to do it. <<<< I think this might be the biggest problem you have before you start thinking about your own business.

I never really mention most of my plans with anyone... not even my wife. Just do what ever it is you want to do, why do you need their approval unless you are under age 18?
« Last Edit: January 14, 2018, 09:51:13 AM by SC93 »

elaine amj

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2018, 09:59:25 PM »
One thing to remember is that your parents want the best for you. And generally would really really like you to be safe. And entrepreneurship is by its very nature risky.

My DD16 is debating career choices right now. She really likes the field I work in. I'm not so crazy about it for her and am encouraging her to pursue  a STEM degree (as chemistry is her other favourite subject) mostly because I think it will be a safer career for her. It's ultimately her choice and I will respect that. But I have no issues telling her what I think.

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BookLoverL

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2018, 02:35:04 AM »
I don't need their approval - I'm 24 and paying board to them. But I don't want to just not talk to them, and I also tend to sometimes, in an environment where I feel relatively comfortable, say things without putting up too much of a filter between my brain and my mouth, so I end up occasionally mentioning things even if I wasn't really planning to...

I will try not to mention so much of my ideas to them. (I'm not worried about them stealing my ideas, though, at least.) But I can't move out yet because renting would at the very least double my living costs.
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elaine amj

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2018, 07:53:42 AM »
It makes sense. I'd suggest talking to them. Like I said earlier, likely they just want you to be safe so they are more likely to discourage risky paths. Sit them down one day and tell them about all the ideas churning in your brain and how you want to take risks, etc - especially at this time when you are still young with few responsibilities.  Ask them for their support in this and let them know that while you appreciate their concerns, there are times when you want the freedom to dream big dreams.

And that yes, u will be careful and will sit and consider pros and cons of your new idea before pursuing it. And maybe when you are at that stage, you will ask them to help you develop this list of pros and cons. Or maybe not.

The thing is to ask them to try not to interject their opinions until you ask for them. Sometimes you just need your parents to be your cheerleaders and not your coach. And that's OK too. Just keep in mind this might be rather hard for some parents - I admit it would be hard for me. This parenting gig is tough. Especially as kids get older.

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GizmoTX

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2018, 09:14:25 AM »
Talk to them about your successes, what's working in your life, what you are looking forward to doing. It's natural to react to multiple entrepreneurial ideas as unfocused, risky, & impractical, especially if those you are talking to have little experience or ability to relate. 

You may need to rein in the ideas as well as they may be taking up too much time better spent on your main gig. It's natural to try to maximize your earnings but you will get further by identifying & intensely focusing on what one thing has the most potential to propel you along your chosen path. Some people fall into the trap of always seeking the next big thing & endlessly talking about it rather than actually executing.

Imma

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2018, 09:42:45 AM »
I don't need their approval - I'm 24 and paying board to them. But I don't want to just not talk to them, and I also tend to sometimes, in an environment where I feel relatively comfortable, say things without putting up too much of a filter between my brain and my mouth, so I end up occasionally mentioning things even if I wasn't really planning to...

I will try not to mention so much of my ideas to them. (I'm not worried about them stealing my ideas, though, at least.) But I can't move out yet because renting would at the very least double my living costs.

If I were you, I would make trying to move out my main priority. See if you can find a way to earn a bit more in the short term so you can afford it. As long as you're living home, you're stuck with the parent-child dynamic. Your parents clearly don't take your ideas seriously. I can't see from here if they're right, but even if they are, they shouldn't disencourage you from trying. If you're the type to come up with new ideas all the time, and not follow up on them, I can see how they're just going to think that this is your newest idea and you'll have a different idea tomorrow.

My family is pretty negative about my fiance's business. He's in an artistic field and he's been working his way up since he was 18. He's now in his early 30s and his effort is starting to pay off, but (not yet) financially. He's more succesful than he's ever been, but he still needs a job on the side. For me it has always been clear that this is his main passion in life. He's always going to do this until he's physically not able to do so anymore. We've always been looking for ways to make it work, and one way to do so has been to buy the very cheapest house we could find so our bills are low. We could survive from one parttime income if we wanted to. A lot of our relatives are still waiting for him to 'grow up' and become an accountant or something like that. That's not going to happen and I've always known that.

He's a likeable guy and everyone in my family gets along with him, but as we get older, there are more and more snidy comments about how his work situation means that I 'have' to work instead of him 'allowing' me to stay home (I don't even want to be a housewife)) and about how it's time for us to have a family - we can't have children for medical reasons and they know. If that was to change at some point in the future, he'd probably quit his parttime side job and I'd increase my hours in the office. His own business is mostly in the evenings/weekends. I don't think that's what my family has in mind either :D

SC93

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2018, 09:55:40 AM »
Paying room & board has nothing to do with it. Once you grow up and move out, you will mature and understand more. It's for your own good. At this point in life you are trying to put the cart in front of the horse and as Dr. Phil asks..... How is that working for ya?

bwall

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2018, 03:27:06 PM »
I have to agree with the other posts that advise not to share the plans. It's a weird adjustment, I know.

Most people don't understand my line of work, including my family, and I'm sure if they were candid they might worry about something completely irrational and illogical, but there you have it. It's so bad for me that I can't tell anyone how much I've earned/saved, other than my wife.

I think that you are getting a better understanding of the phrase 'It's lonely at the top'.

BlueHouse

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2018, 05:07:48 PM »
It sounds as if your parents are familiar with career employment and then once they were in a stable, secure place (with dual income), they each decided to go freelance.  What you want sounds a lot different -- more like gig employment or willing to do anything to cover your costs as you go.  If that's the case, then just be aware that it's very difficult for older generations to understand this new gig economy and it's also difficult for most non-mustachians to understand the idea of having to earn only enough and then stopping.  We're so programmed to keep working until a certain age, it's just a different paradigm. 

So if I'm correct in my assumption about the gig employment vs. career employment, you may want to do some research on the gig economy, get a good understanding on the differences, what you can expect, and then talk to your parents about this new way of working and why you think it's a better fit for you.  Then when they listen to you, make sure you listen to them as well. 
Good luck
 
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Richie Poor

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2018, 03:46:06 PM »
One way to reduce the negative comments would be to succeed at just one of the ideas they were down on. That way the next time they crap on idea you can say "Remember that time you said I couldn't make money face painting in Tahiti, but I really did quiet well? Remember that time?" They would probably back off. Do that in a friendly way of course because your parents deserve respect.


Fi365

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Re: Entrepreneurship And Negative Comments From Family
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2018, 08:56:36 PM »
This will always be the case -- friends and family and random internet people will always shit on your self-employment ideas. It's an integral feature of self-employment.

My all-time (least) favorite phrase: "The market is saturated!" No matter the market, it's always "saturated" -- according to everyone.

You'd think the market for fast-food burgers would be saturated by now. And yet I saw a new McDonald's opening the other day.

You'll have to grow a thick skin.

This is my fourth year of self-employment and it still blows me away when someone comments that my field is "crowded."

"You're writing a book? But there are already books on that topic!" (No good ones!)

"You're going after that type of client? But isn't eeeeeeevvveryone already going after that type of client?"

"You blog and speak about that topic? But it's just so crowded. I don't know how you stay in business."

Salaried friends and family will never understand the self-employment world.
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