Author Topic: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago  (Read 3898 times)

Weathering

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Any ideas on suggestions I can make to my wife regarding a low cost burial option for her father (when he eventually passes away - 88 years old currently)?

He abandoned his wife and 2 kids when they were 7 years old (twins). The kids then grew up poor and made their way through college and into success careers. During this time he was renting an apartment in the famous Watergate complex in DC followed by renting houses in beach cities in the Souty East. Later in life he re-entered his daughters' lives when he needed help (financially and healthcare). My wife and her twin are very caring people and they are taking good care of him (monthly stipend for him (he pays his rent and they pay everything else) and arranged for in-home healthcare workers a few days per week).

He has said that when he passes he would like to be buried in a cemetery in the San Fran Bay Area where his parents and sister are buried. This is a rather expensive cemetery ($15K for a plot in the same garden as his parents) plus all the others costs.

Jokingly I recently suggested that we could launch his ashes into space for $2,500 (SpaceX). The suggestion/joke was not well received at all (I'm in the dog house).

I'd like to avoid a $25K expense if at all possible but it seems like for the sake of my wife's love I will have to swallow hard and just go along with the plan.


mxt0133

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2017, 11:47:32 PM »
You are not going to win this battle, focus on the war.  Basically, say how you feel once and leave it at that.  Remind her that her decision on how much to spend on her dad's funeral impacts the whole family, but don't argue about it.

MrsWolfeRN

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2017, 11:54:16 PM »
Following. My MIL is ill and we are the only ones with any money in the family. She has stated she doesn't care if she is buried or cremated. We care about her very much but spending a lot on a funeral won't help her in any way.
 

paddedhat

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2017, 06:05:43 AM »
MY father wanted to be cremated. He was buried with a full military honors at Arlington national Cemetery. Total cost, $900. My mother got a standard service at a local funeral home, burial was at a cemetery about seventy miles from the funeral, a place where her parents were  located in a bit of a family plot,with a big lunch event at a nice restaurant following,  Total cost of that affair was in the $14K range.

cadillacmike

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2017, 06:28:51 AM »
IMO, Funeral homes are worse than insurance companies & banks. I would suggest a cremation service and the ashes can then be sent to someplace where they can be buries later when its convenient and affordable.

I like how people with no means "would like" this or that  which costs thousands and has no useful function... I've been through this a few times already with relatives.

Paddedhat, wasn't your mom eligible for burial at a National Cemetery? I know Arlington is pretty restrictive (I think you have to be an Officer who died while on active duy or someone who dies in the combat zone to be eligible), but  there might have been some other alternative.

Lepetitange3

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2017, 06:29:56 AM »
Cremation.  Both my beloved grandparents were cremated.  One requested to be spread over the burial grave of grandpa (who died about 20 years before).  The other didn't have any request and is kept at my Aunt's house in a fancy urn in her living room because Auntie can't bear the thought of parting with the remains (weird but whatever works).  Have him cremated then spread him over wherever.  Pick your religion and have a service there.  Cremation ~ $900 most churche/temples fee ~ $500.  Burial is expensive and wasteful. 
« Last Edit: June 08, 2017, 06:33:13 AM by Lepetitange3 »

Lepetitange3

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2017, 06:32:32 AM »
Also if you're military or once were upon a time, funeral can typically be had for next to nothing.  Spouses can always be buried with predeceased military members, so in the previous example, mom could have been put with dad at Arlington unless she remarried.

paddedhat

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2017, 06:50:23 AM »

Paddedhat, wasn't your mom eligible for burial at a National Cemetery? I know Arlington is pretty restrictive (I think you have to be an Officer who died while on active duy or someone who dies in the combat zone to be eligible), but  there might have been some other alternative.

Yes, In some cases spouses can be buried with their mates at National Cemeteries, no divorces, no married widows, etc.... Arlington is very restrictive. My father was an officer and highly decorated pilot in the Vietnam war. It took over a year of reviewing his records to approve his interment.

Drifterrider

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2017, 10:58:25 AM »

Paddedhat, wasn't your mom eligible for burial at a National Cemetery? I know Arlington is pretty restrictive (I think you have to be an Officer who died while on active duy or someone who dies in the combat zone to be eligible), but  there might have been some other alternative.

Yes, In some cases spouses can be buried with their mates at National Cemeteries, no divorces, no married widows, etc.... Arlington is very restrictive. My father was an officer and highly decorated pilot in the Vietnam war. It took over a year of reviewing his records to approve his interment.

The primary cause of this is because Arlington is almost full with no real expectation of expansion.  Officer or Enlisted status does not matter.  MOH recipients, high elected office, KIA are afforded highest priority.  It is all a matter of space:  there isn't much left.

Although, if you choose to be cremated you can get in much quicker (the urn doesn't take up a grave spot).

paddedhat

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2017, 11:56:32 AM »

Paddedhat, wasn't your mom eligible for burial at a National Cemetery? I know Arlington is pretty restrictive (I think you have to be an Officer who died while on active duy or someone who dies in the combat zone to be eligible), but  there might have been some other alternative.

Yes, In some cases spouses can be buried with their mates at National Cemeteries, no divorces, no married widows, etc.... Arlington is very restrictive. My father was an officer and highly decorated pilot in the Vietnam war. It took over a year of reviewing his records to approve his interment.

The primary cause of this is because Arlington is almost full with no real expectation of expansion.  Officer or Enlisted status does not matter.  MOH recipients, high elected office, KIA are afforded highest priority.  It is all a matter of space:  there isn't much left.

Although, if you choose to be cremated you can get in much quicker (the urn doesn't take up a grave spot).

Actually my father only needed a niche for an urn, and it still took over a year, but it was probably an error that caused the extreme delay. Somehow, they reviewed his DD214 for all that time and totally missed his DFC, or Distinguished Flying Cross, which is a significant oversight.  When the officer called to schedule the ceremony, he didn't offer much in the way of an honors procession, and in closing asked if I had any questions? I asked about the DFC.  He was half way through blurting out "Oh, shit!" when he restrained himself. His next sentence was, "well, that changes everything".

 In the end my father got the recognition he deserved. The entire ceremony was stunningly beautiful. In some dark way, it was a perfectly bitter day for such a painful event.  Hours after a snow storm struck the capitol, freezing rain, windy and cold. The entire place was shrouded in gray, and the cold blew through clothing like it wasn't there. I'll never forget the Sargent of the flag detail, as he stood at attention, stiff as a statue, while his men unfurled he flag, refolded it, and presented it to me. During that entire time, the Sargent never moved a muscle, as the roof of the canvas tent slowly drained the slushy, freezing rain over him. The band playing, the rifles firing, walking
 as we following the horse drawn hearse through the grounds...............................  not often that a horrible, and painful event can leave you feeling awe struck.


marion10

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #10 on: June 08, 2017, 12:22:02 PM »
His body could be cremated and then placed in the gravesite in San Francisco of an existing family member. If he was a veteran, I believe the VA will pay for a marker which you could affix to the back of one of the headstones.

Lepetitange3

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2017, 12:23:35 PM »
If you're military, you can also look up individual states veterans cemeteries.  You can have full ceremonies with honors done at these too with some organizing but at very low cost.  Arlington is not the only option.  And it might be better if for example, the family lives in a Florida, to have the gravesite in Florida if anyone is of the inclination to visit the grave ever after the funeral.

Lepetitange3

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #12 on: June 08, 2017, 12:27:45 PM »
Also for the OP, let's not tell wife it's a matter of "cost".  Paint your picture about cremation as the better option because he can share the same gravesite with his parents forever, how touching.  Or how it's better for the environment if she's the tree hugging type.  Or even that if will make transportation of the remains to desired location of final resting place easier if you're not in SF yourself.  I'm sure other posters can come up with some more ideas for properly selling it.

HipGnosis

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2017, 03:20:45 PM »
If you're military, you can also look up individual states veterans cemeteries.  You can have full ceremonies with honors done at these too with some organizing but at very low cost.  Arlington is not the only option.  And it might be better if for example, the family lives in a Florida, to have the gravesite in Florida if anyone is of the inclination to visit the grave ever after the funeral.
I won't say there aren't "individual states veterans cemeteries", but I think you are referring to:  The Department of Veterans Affairs' National Cemetery Administration maintains 135 national cemeteries in 40 states (and Puerto Rico) as well as 33 soldier's lots in private cemeteries.

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Mgmny

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2017, 06:17:42 PM »
My father jokes to wheel him to the curb on Friday (garbage day) when he dies. He says, "doesn't matter to me, I'll be dead"

cadillacmike

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2017, 09:10:02 PM »
If you're military, you can also look up individual states veterans cemeteries.  You can have full ceremonies with honors done at these too with some organizing but at very low cost.  Arlington is not the only option.  And it might be better if for example, the family lives in a Florida, to have the gravesite in Florida if anyone is of the inclination to visit the grave ever after the funeral. 

No cost for the burial. That said if there is a funeral home involved, well...

The closes military unit will also be tasked for an honor guard if you want. I've been on a few of these details. Very moving.

cadillacmike

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2017, 09:12:16 PM »
My father jokes to wheel him to the curb on Friday (garbage day) when he dies. He says, "doesn't matter to me, I'll be dead"

As for me, I'll quote bruce springsteen, even though I don't approve of his political views:

"Don't bury me when I die, throw my body in the back, & drive me to the junkyard in my Cadillac!"

Lepetitange3

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2017, 08:09:48 AM »
Cadillac Mike- its usually the headstone or a small extra fee for the cremation that makes it not free, depending on how fast you organize to get the VA involved to get the funeral done.  I've been on both sides of military funerals (when I was in the service, doing honor guard and later having a loved one who had a military funeral), they are almost always really well done.

All this being said, many mainline denomination churches and temples will run a funeral for fairly cheap even if you're not a congregant.  I know the going rate at the Catholic Church up the road is only about $350, and you get the service and the priest at the burial or interment of remains if you want him.  Regardless of how you feel personally about religion, most ministers pull these services off very nicely, so if the deceased or any family members are remotely religious, it's worth a go.

Dicey

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #19 on: June 10, 2017, 09:25:56 AM »
My Dad was a veteran. He and my Mom were inurned at Riverside National Cemetery. Both services were lovely and costs were minimal. Between their services, I attended another one at the newer San Joaquin Valley  National Cemetery, which was also quite lovely (the cemetery) and very well done (the service).

I'd like to offer a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has ever worked as an Honor Guard. Doing those services back-to-back yet keeping it real and dignified is no mean feat. Even if the mourners don't express their thanks at the time, I know first hand the comfort your presence offers is beyond priceless.
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Mtngrl

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #20 on: June 10, 2017, 04:38:27 PM »
Another shout out for the services provided by Veteran's cemeteries. My dad was buried at the Veteran's cemetery in Houston (he was a Korean war vet) at his request. My in-laws have already both requested to go this route. A big money saver, plus a very beautiful service.

If the person is not a veteran, of course, this isn't an option -- in that case I would go for cremation. In most states (maybe all, I'm fuzzy on this) this does not require embalming or a fancy coffin or anything like that.

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #21 on: June 10, 2017, 05:56:16 PM »
The absolute bare-bones cost that I have heard of is to donate the body to a medical school who will use for dissection followed by free cremation. 

I'd be okay with my body being used for that.  After you are gone what does it matter?

Abe

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #22 on: June 10, 2017, 09:14:15 PM »
The medical school option is a good one because it's cheap, helps teach and results in cremation in the end anyway. As a surgeon, I plan on doing that to pay my respects to people who've given their body in this service.

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #23 on: June 11, 2017, 04:44:51 AM »
The absolute bare-bones cost that I have heard of is to donate the body to a medical school who will use for dissection followed by free cremation. 

I'd be okay with my body being used for that.  After you are gone what does it matter?


There is a "window" of time you need to be found in, however. If he lives alone, you may want to think about how long will pass before someone finds him dead.

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #24 on: June 11, 2017, 07:20:57 AM »
Disposing of the dead is about respect: the title of the thread shows that OP does not have any for his FIL, and probably doesn't think his wife should have much either.  That said, it is up to his wife and her sisters.  That there are two of them should at least split the costs so that each only pays half.

Moving a body from a beach city in the south-east to San Francisco for burial would itself be very expensive, even setting aside the cost of the plot and a funeral.  Cremation and burial of the ashes in an existing family grave, or scattering of them in the desired cemetary, would be a more cost-effective option: OP should look into that possibility.
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SwordGuy

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #25 on: June 11, 2017, 07:38:45 AM »
$25,000 is grossly excessive.

I had 2 burial services for my mom (but just 1 burial, of course), plus transporting her remains half way across the USA, and spent half that.

Best of luck injecting rationality into this topic.  That's unlikely to be successful.


Dicey

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #26 on: June 11, 2017, 08:16:36 AM »
Cremation and burial of the ashes in an existing family grave, or scattering of them in the desired cemetary, would be a more cost-effective option: OP should look into that possibility.
More cost-effective is a relative term. My spinster aunt was cremated and interred in the famous Boston Cemetery where her parents are buried. To open their plot to place her already cremated body (Neptune Society, I believe), the fee was $5,000. Yup, they cut out a 1'x1' piece of sod and dug a hole for five grand. The graveside service was not included in these fee. It was literally just to dig a hole.

There is a mustachian twist though. Her thoroughly charming, but indigent nephew had passed away and been cremated a year or two earlier. He was a world traveler, so his ashes were divided into clamshells and distributed to anyone who was willing to scatter them in the four corners of the world. He and this aunt were fast friends. Someone still had a clamshell, so the decision was made to bury it with my aunt and grandparents. The day after my aunt's service, the family assembled again. We gathered in a tight circle. The flowers were moved, the small square of sod lifted and a small garden trowel brought from home was used to bury the last clamshell. Then we said a few prayers, sang some hymns and enjoyed the fact that the two of them would be thrilled that we got a two-fer of sorts.

Back to my aunt for a moment. When my grandfather purchased the family plot, he knew his youngest daughter was unlikely to wed, so he purchased burial insurance for her. The $5k fee to open the small square more than 50 years later exceeded the original price of the entire plot. Thankfully, the insurance policy just barely covered it.

The point of this tale is that the Mortuary/Funeral/Cemetery Industry is big business and about as un-mustachian as it gets. Advance planning pays off.

To the OP: if your FIL wanted to be buried in the family plot, he had scores of years to make these plans. He did not. It is not your responsibility to do for him what he refused to do for himself. That said, you can be the voice of reason, but you must tread lightly, because he wasn't your dad, deadbeat or otherwise. In the end, it's only money. None of us gets to take it with us.


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BlueHouse

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #27 on: June 11, 2017, 08:24:59 AM »
Consider that there will be no ongoing health care and maintenance costs for the father after he has passed.  Be supportive as hell to whatever your wife wants to do and you'll end up ahead with your wife immediately and ahead financially within a couple of years, even if you pick the most expensive burial option. 

Remember that your wife's desire to do the right thing comes with so much baggage -- still trying to win father's love and affection at a subconscious level.  Supporting her will allow her to live the rest of her life knowing that she did everything she could and hopefully she'll get to a point where she can truly believe that the abandonment had nothing to do with her or anything she did. 

ETA:  Also, you have this is in the DIY Discussion thread.  Please do not consider any burial/cremation a DIY experience (at least not if you live in North America. 
« Last Edit: June 11, 2017, 10:37:57 AM by BlueHouse »
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the_fella

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #28 on: June 11, 2017, 03:26:38 PM »
Just don't claim the body. The county or city will take custody of it and will likely cremate it and bury him in a common grave/potter's field.

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #29 on: June 11, 2017, 03:58:14 PM »
Consider that there will be no ongoing health care and maintenance costs for the father after he has passed.  Be supportive as hell to whatever your wife wants to do and you'll end up ahead with your wife immediately and ahead financially within a couple of years, even if you pick the most expensive burial option. 

Remember that your wife's desire to do the right thing comes with so much baggage -- still trying to win father's love and affection at a subconscious level.  Supporting her will allow her to live the rest of her life knowing that she did everything she could and hopefully she'll get to a point where she can truly believe that the abandonment had nothing to do with her or anything she did. 

ETA:  Also, you have this is in the DIY Discussion thread.  Please do not consider any burial/cremation a DIY experience (at least not if you live in North America.

In New England, at least Maine and Vermont, one may establish a Family Burial Ground on property that they own. And scattering of ashes would also be a DIY option.

the_fella

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #30 on: June 12, 2017, 10:02:08 PM »
Consider that there will be no ongoing health care and maintenance costs for the father after he has passed.  Be supportive as hell to whatever your wife wants to do and you'll end up ahead with your wife immediately and ahead financially within a couple of years, even if you pick the most expensive burial option. 

Remember that your wife's desire to do the right thing comes with so much baggage -- still trying to win father's love and affection at a subconscious level.  Supporting her will allow her to live the rest of her life knowing that she did everything she could and hopefully she'll get to a point where she can truly believe that the abandonment had nothing to do with her or anything she did. 

ETA:  Also, you have this is in the DIY Discussion thread.  Please do not consider any burial/cremation a DIY experience (at least not if you live in North America.

In some states, you can actually do a "home funeral" and basically cut the funeral home out of the picture. Check your local laws, though, as some states have laws against the transportation of human remains. But in some states, you can have the lay out and funeral at home, then transport the body to the cemetery yourself (a van or truck works well for this).

Beriberi

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #31 on: June 12, 2017, 10:53:55 PM »
Buy your casket from Costco.  Really.  Funeral homes mark them up because people buying are in no position to shop around. Thus, Costco got into the business. Per the interwebs, caskets cost about 1/3 at Walmart or Costco compared with a funeral home (for the same product), and most states have laws that the funeral home has to use what you bring to them.

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #32 on: June 13, 2017, 02:53:55 AM »
His body could be cremated and then placed in the gravesite in San Francisco of an existing family member.

This is what we did with my father.  At the time of my mother's death in 1978 he'd bought adjoining cemetery plots, but he sold his for some reason.  When he died in 2013, he was cremated in Florida and his ashes interred in my mother's grave in New Jersey.
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redbird

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #33 on: June 14, 2017, 02:54:29 PM »
Something worth mentioning - if you go the cremation route, don't let the funeral home embalm him. That's unnecessary extra cost. If a body is going to be cremated, it doesn't need to be embalmed. But some funeral homes will try to push you into it so they can charge you for embalming.
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Weathering

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #34 on: June 14, 2017, 08:17:08 PM »
Thank you all for the thoughtful and insightful responses. Seems like I can try to show respect for my FIL's wishes and not negatively impact his grandchildren financially by recommending cremation along with ashes being placed in the San Fran cemetery (either buried in his parent's plot or just distributed onto the ground at their grave site).
Hopefully my wife will feel good about this (I'm feeling better about it)

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #35 on: June 17, 2017, 11:19:20 PM »
This may sound odd, but can your FIL be buried in the same plot as his parents? A few years ago I was doing family history research and found a "Disinterment, Removal, and Reinterment Order." Essentially, when a distant cousin died in 1974, he was buried with his grandmother who had passed away in 1907.

It's a bit macabre and your wife's family may not be willing to discuss this option, but hey, it would save $ while fulfilling your FIL's wishes.

paddedhat

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #36 on: June 18, 2017, 01:37:30 PM »
Thank you all for the thoughtful and insightful responses. Seems like I can try to show respect for my FIL's wishes and not negatively impact his grandchildren financially by recommending cremation along with ashes being placed in the San Fran cemetery (either buried in his parent's plot or just distributed onto the ground at their grave site).
Hopefully my wife will feel good about this (I'm feeling better about it)

Some jurisdictions are pretty strange when it comes to spreading ashes. My step father wanted to be cremated, and have his ashes spread in the woods at the top of a mountain, near his hunting camp. This was all on state controlled forest lands. After he passed, his best friend contacted the state forester in that area for information. The ranger was very clear to state the official rules prohibiting this, stating that doing so without state approval was a crime. He then asked the friend exactly where he would do it, if it was allowed? As the conversation went on, the ranger asked, in theory,  if there was a specific date the ceremony would be on. He then stated that access gates to the various logging roads would be unlocked the evening before, and it would be possible to drive right to the summit of the mountain. He went out of his way to do help us accomplish my step dad's wishes, even thought it was technically illegal. Cool guy.

Weathering

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #37 on: August 16, 2017, 10:08:34 PM »
The new wrinkle to my dilemma is that when I started mentioning medical school cremation to my wife she immediately said that her father has insisted that he not be cremated. I couldn't believe that when she said it. That man has "champagne tastes" (and a "beer budget" that was blown long ago)  even in his funeral expectations.

I've now given up on this opportunity to not blow money. My wife will have a wonderful ceremony for her father.
In my case we will be spending from savings. In the case of my wife's twin, she will most likely choose to take out a loan for her part.

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #38 on: August 16, 2017, 11:45:34 PM »
Thank you all for the thoughtful and insightful responses. Seems like I can try to show respect for my FIL's wishes and not negatively impact his grandchildren financially by recommending cremation along with ashes being placed in the San Fran cemetery (either buried in his parent's plot or just distributed onto the ground at their grave site).
Hopefully my wife will feel good about this (I'm feeling better about it)

Some jurisdictions are pretty strange when it comes to spreading ashes. My step father wanted to be cremated, and have his ashes spread in the woods at the top of a mountain, near his hunting camp. This was all on state controlled forest lands. After he passed, his best friend contacted the state forester in that area for information. The ranger was very clear to state the official rules prohibiting this, stating that doing so without state approval was a crime. He then asked the friend exactly where he would do it, if it was allowed? As the conversation went on, the ranger asked, in theory,  if there was a specific date the ceremony would be on. He then stated that access gates to the various logging roads would be unlocked the evening before, and it would be possible to drive right to the summit of the mountain. He went out of his way to do help us accomplish my step dad's wishes, even thought it was technically illegal. Cool guy.
Aww, I love this story.  I'm glad your stepfather's (reasonable) wishes were granted.
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bacchi

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #39 on: August 19, 2017, 09:40:00 AM »
No one's mentioned a "green" burial. It's burial directly in the ground without embalming so that the worms eat ya. Back to nature. It's also a lot cheaper than embalming and a fancypants steel/mahogany casket inside a concrete vault.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_burial

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/09/0909_050909_greenburial.html

GuitarStv

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Re: Low cost burial for father-in-law who abandoned kids 40yrs ago
« Reply #40 on: August 19, 2017, 09:49:52 AM »
No one's mentioned a "green" burial. It's burial directly in the ground without embalming so that the worms eat ya. Back to nature. It's also a lot cheaper than embalming and a fancypants steel/mahogany casket inside a concrete vault.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_burial

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/09/0909_050909_greenburial.html

DIY friendly option too (must have large enough compost bin).