Maybe I'm just weird, or maybe it is a function of geography (Seattle has a BIG contingent of YMOYL/FIRE-minded people), but I quite honestly cannot think of anybody in my immediate social circle who is big on consumer consumption. Maybe my brother and his family -- they have a big house in an expensive neighborhood, a holiday home in Italy, and sent their kids to top notch private schools. They probably spend a lot more on food than us because all of them are foodies. But other than that, just about everybody I know lives a pretty frugal, sustainable lifestyle. My immediate friend circle at the moment consists of:
Old friends from childhood/high school who I still click with
Grad school friends, still mostly in academia
Friends I've made through internet places like this over the years, quite a few of them now IRL friends
Friends I've made through my local Buy Nothing group
Friends I've made through volunteering
Friends I've made through gardening
I'm also friendly with several neighbors, though I wouldn't call most of them friends at this point -- could easily become that. I guess there are a couple of those who appear to be more consumption oriented, but they sure like it when I offer them homegrown cucumbers and tomatoes for free!
Anyway, just rambling here but I guess my point is that for those who struggle to find people who understand a FIRE-oriented, low-consumption life, maybe it would help to try to expand your social circle into areas where you are more likely to find folks with that mindset. Where you find a few people who enjoy having low-cost fun, you are likely to find more.
It could also just be you're using a different definition of a low-consumption lifestyle than the people who struggle in that area. For example, my comfort level consumption-wise is things like:
- Living in a studio apartment
- Car-free living
- No takeout, no alcohol, basically no restaurants, no beauty products, no gift-giving, very, very low spending overall, buying secondhand wherever possible
- Producing about one grocery bag-size worth of garbage for a household of two every 1-2 weeks
- Generally striving for zero waste
- Doing errands by foot or bike, well beyond what would be considered reasonable
- Bulk meal prep and planning, generally being a kitchen-nazi to eliminate food waste
And probably lots more, but those are the first ones that come to mind. I don't know your friends so maybe I'm off base, but I'm guessing they don't tick too many boxes on that list. I've met only a small handful of people who operate at that level, over many years.