I suck at this, so it's fascinating to read others' posts on what works for them. After four moves to new states for education and later work, my in person social connections are pretty much exhausted.
Me too and I've actually thought a lot about this in the last few weeks, unrelated to this post.
Most of my social interactions are planned. And most of my life is planned. Someone referred to is as a "middle aged" thing. Yes, I'm middle aged, but I was a planner long long ago too, even in my 20s.
So some of it is just my natural personality.
Other is most certainly my lifestyle.
I get regular, awesome social interaction at our Sunday potlucks. It's kind of an alternative to scruffy personality. We wander up to the park at the end of the street. We don't reserve a space. We look for an open space. We can end up with 2 families or 10 families. There's no pressure to go or not go. I love these.
I don't do many unplanned social things. I have regular walk dates with one friend, and sometimes another. I get social interaction on my run days.
One thing that has made me think about this is the summer. A lot of my friends are having a blast this summer. They go to the beach, they run off and go camping, they have BBQs, whatever. I have three or four good friends with kids about the same age - and they just randomly do things together on and off.
Why don't we do this?
1. Our lives are scheduled. Love it or hate it, we both work full time and we have kids. We have regular work schedules and we have kids in school, camp, whatever. So in order for us to work in the summer we need summer camp. Our kids are very scheduled because we need to work. So, if our friends decide on Tuesday morning to go the pool (where they all have a membership), they go. My kids are in camp and I'm at work.
2. We are away from the house all day. So, we kind of like being at home. Many of my friends who work at home or are stay at home parents are much more into going out at night - impromptu going to the beach to see the sunset, or going down to the concerts in the park. Which...seems like a lot of work when you've been gone all day.
It's nice for me when I run into someone I know (like camp drop off, for example), but we aren't going and "doing" anything.