Author Topic: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!  (Read 80304 times)

sea_saw

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #300 on: September 03, 2017, 05:35:52 AM »
I think this was the first thread I happened across on the forums - nice to see it pop back up! And congrats on not building up any further debt.

I'm with the people who have mentioned there's clearly a lot going on for you in terms of unconscious motivations driving your spending. You don't have to answer here, but maybe some questions to think about are: how does looking at your old (and now your new) budget make you feel? Have you looked over what you ended up 'overspending' money on in the last few months, how did those purchases feel at the time and how do they feel in retrospect? What kind of mood or frame of mind were you in when you made those decisions?

You got this :)

zoe2dot

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #301 on: September 08, 2017, 08:49:50 AM »
dashh--

I feel hypocritical chiming in so soon after joining the site but I read this thread with increasing disbelief.
I consider myself a kind person and want to be supportive as people have been to me in my fumbling attempts to gain some financial savvy but...

OMG sell that fucking truck! 
How is this still a discussion point? 
It's been 235 days since you wrote your #2 step was to sell both cars and get cheap ones.  You wrote that DW wasn't going to take it well. 
You've spent so much time telling us about your wife's Pilot that it's like you don't even realize you have the SAME SCENARIO going on with your truck.
Sell it, take a picture, frame it, hang it on the wall.

You've distracted yourself with talk about junk food and job changes for eight months!  OMFG! 
It took you from January until March to take this forum's advice and use your savings to pay off Loan #3.  THREE MONTHS.  And then you did it in five minutes, got a bunch of high fives...and bought a TV. 

Then you spent three months talking about junk food.  Why is there even junk food in your house?  You can't afford it! 
If grocery delivery is an option in your area you should use it so that you're only bringing food into the house that should be there.   You'd pay for the delivery fee with what you didn't spend on Doritos.

You're still posting about a career change.  Get your shit in order first!  Spend five minutes a day daydreaming about real estate then go back to your mindless job and pay off your debt.  You don't get a career change when you are this much in debt!!!  You're working from home now...you need to be a super employee not half assing it with six open tabs on Zillow.  Keeping that job is important!

That god damn friggen TV!!!!  That was where this thread went off the rails.  You just skim past all the pertinent questions. 
DID you post your debt list on the fridge?
DID you have a garage sale?
DID you contact the IRS about a First Time Penalty Abatement?
DID you go to cash only jar/envelope spending? 
DID you call each lender and ask for lower rates?
DID you ask your credit union for a consolidation loan? 
DID you ask your wife to read your original post?
DID you make a colorful visualization of your debt that you let the wife/kids color in when something is paid off?

BUT! You made it three months on the budget when you previously bailed after one month.  That is encouraging.
Think you can do another three months?  Through the end of the year?   Christmas is coming...the credit card goose is getting fat...are you ready for an austere holiday season? 

On Jaunary 19th shanghaiMMM wrote:
 
"OK. This is it now Dashh. You've had 101 fantastic, helpful, practical ideas.
It's now up to you to go away and implement the ones you choose.
Keep us updated and best of luck!"

What went wrong?

You've been complimented on your awareness.  It's time to turn awareness into action.
The advice on this forum is good advice!  Fucking follow it!

Wishing you all the best even if the above sounds harsh.




dashh

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #302 on: December 09, 2017, 01:17:20 PM »

What went wrong?

You've been complimented on your awareness.  It's time to turn awareness into action.
The advice on this forum is good advice!  Fucking follow it!


Hello all,

Dashh still here...even though most of you probably thought you would never hear from me again.  In fact, after the post by zoe2dot I pretty much was going to write off the forum and move on.  I even got so pissed off that I deleted all of my posts and tried to completely delete my original post and profile.  I guess the truth does hurt as they say.

I have had some time to reflect on it though and zoe2dot was right.  I am aware but cannot commit and follow through.  It has been an issue for me for a while as my all consuming debt shows.  I have used distractions like career changes and junk food.  However, I see what I am going through now as a desire to make changes in many areas of my life - not just finances.  It is probably the cliche mid life crisis but whatever it is I need change.  But a lot of that change can't happen without me getting my financial shit in order.

Anyway, I am finally starting a journal to work through this and I hope you will come along for the ride.  It is called Dashh: A Day in the Life.

Thanks to the forum and to zoe2dot for the punch in the gut I needed.

 
« Last Edit: December 09, 2017, 01:35:53 PM by dashh »

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #303 on: December 09, 2017, 01:21:45 PM »
dashh- facepunches are called that for a reason. They sure as hell don't feel good. But it takes a really mature person to feel the sting, but then still reflect on it and want to make a change. I really wish you all the best in your journey. This stuff isn't easy. It is *simple*, but it is not easy. Kudos on self awareness- that's well and truly the first big step.
My journal: Hiding in the Ferns
Like babies? Have kids? Want to chat about Babies and Pregnancy/Infertility? Group Journal Here.

ToTheMoon

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #304 on: December 09, 2017, 01:38:54 PM »
Awesome self-reflection @dashh, I will definitely be following along to see how your journey progresses!

Zoot

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #305 on: December 09, 2017, 02:39:42 PM »
Waking up hurts sometimes.  But as painful as it was to hear all of that, you really did HEAR it.  While it would have been easier just to go back to sleep, you DIDN'T--awesome, awesome, awesome.  I'm so proud of you.  :)

Believe me, it will be SO WORTH IT. 

Headed over to your journal now!

zoe2dot

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #306 on: December 11, 2017, 07:55:54 AM »
Glad you came back, dashh.
I thought about you a lot in the interim.
Your journal will surely be one of the most read journals--we're all eager to see what you're up to!

Smurfy

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #307 on: December 22, 2017, 04:54:17 PM »
This person is insolvent and should probably start by consulting with a bankruptcy attorney.  The references to payment plans on credit card debt speak of someone that has been missing or is behind on payments to at least one creditor. 

dashh

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Re: Reader Case Study - $231k in debt and need help!
« Reply #308 on: December 23, 2017, 01:17:06 PM »
This person is insolvent and should probably start by consulting with a bankruptcy attorney.  The references to payment plans on credit card debt speak of someone that has been missing or is behind on payments to at least one creditor.

Yes, many people have suggested I speak with a bankruptcy attorney and I have considered it.  We have around $90k of unsecured debt which a part of me would love to see just go away.  However, I realize that it is not that simple and another part of me feels like we do not deserve to have that just wiped out.  Plus given our income, I am not sure we could even go that route. 

I may still meet with someone just to get an idea of our options.