First of all, congratulations on having the courage to make a start and stare down your challenging situation! Baselining where you are is a very first step. I won't go through all the line items as I see lost of good advice already posted. The most important thing is to NOT be discouraged. Many of us have been through similar experience so look at it as an incredible learning opportunity on the path to a richer, freer life. I'm going to pick perhaps some of the most simple things to do that I did when I got into debt when I was young - and yes, I lived to see a far better side.
Let's start w/the debt first as finding a new job is stressful, time consuming and may not help if you don't get the debt under control.
- Cars - sell, buy in cash as you recommended something reliable but still nice that gets good gas mileage. Toyota, Honda, some others folks have mentioned.
- Credit Cards, first call them and just ask if they will lower your interest rates and then use every opportunity you get to do zero balance transfers. Start with the highest, then once paid off, work your way down.
- Kids, make sure you and your wife agree not to have any happy accidents. Now is not the time.
- Now to earnings and I encourage everyone who needs to earn more to do this - apply for jobs at the big software firms if even if you have no tech skills. If you have a functional background in Finance, HR, Legal, general business, these firms also have many many jobs that help them "Run the Business." As they grow, so too do those departments. Why in tech - because they pay more...a lot more. A lot more in that it's worth it to move to where they are - I would look in texas as Tech is growing (Dell, Intuit (Small but there), Texas Instruments, many others). The also offer stock/options and bonuses. If you you want ere, the new blue chip is the tech chip to make a start. If you get rejected, try try again and again and again. You will get a sing on bonus (there is 10K for your cc bill), you will get a relocation package in some instances, even lower management if you have a skill they need and finance is always a skill that is needed; you will get an annual bonus - there is another 5-10k for your cc's, and then if you rise, so too does your bonus. You will get stock and options, there is another 5-30K for your cc's and so on.
Don't let anyone tell you it can't be done. Although I am no longer in tech, semi retired, we hired all kinds and my BA was general bus and english and I had zero trouble getting into the tech industry.
Best of luck to you.