Questions/Issues:
- SO makes roughly 50% more than I do and we still split the bills 50/50 because our salaries will go up quickly (both working in the CRM field) and we would have to have a how to split the bills conversation every few months. We are both equally spendy, but he pushes travel on me when I try to control my expenses. I told him no, I cannot go to NYC but we are still going. We are planning a trip to India to see his family for Christmas, but he wants to stop in 2-3 other countries and my finances are tight. How can I tell him that I cannot afford it without getting the blackmail of "If you don't come, I will find someone else who will be willing to come"?
Your costs are reasonable, if not mustachian in some ways.... but your SO's behaviour is NOT reasonable. At all. And you are NOT equally spendy if he pushes travel, car payments, furniture and gym expenses on you when he knows you are trying to stay on a budget!! He doesn't sound like a good partner right now, from your description, I'm sorry to say, and it doesn't sound like you're both in this for the long term.
Something else that stood out to me... it almost sounds like you split all expenses 50/50, instead of just joint expenses that way. ie. if it's his car to get to his work and he chose the lease and model, why are you paying for it? Are you paying half the gas even though most of it's probably for his commute? Whose name is the lease in? If his, can you offer to pay a fixed amount (50-100$?) towards your usage and joint usage?
I earn about twice as much as my partner (although I am the more frugal one). We split rent (and included in that some utilities) based on income, but groceries/restaurants/events/furniture etc 50/50. Since rent is the biggest expense, this gives him the most relief on expenses, while not forcing us to do tricky math on everything else, or feel like I'm paying too much. Would something like that work for you?
The other thing we do is subsidize each other when it's important to us. When I wanted him to come on a trip for a sports tournament, I paid the gas, brought food in a cooler for most eating, and paid all our joint meals out. If your SO wanted you to travel so badly, could he cover your airfare and hotel or other big fixed costs of the trip?
A few other things:
- open the TFSA and just cash out if you move to the US (ideally the tax year before you move to the US). If you move you will 100% have other tax problems... being invested in canadian mutual funds or ETFs which are PFICs... Just don't worry about it now but plan 1-2 years in advance if it looks likely (using a book like "The Canadian in America" for help).
- what are you currently doing with your extra 1000$+/month? If you're spending it on trips/furniture/gym, that should be in your budget (unless this is a going forward budget vs. report on spending, I guess)
- rent and internet look good - phone could probably be cheaper but I get the ON/QC pricyness... would reducing your data help? I have a 100 MB/month plan and it's more than enough. Or depending on usage, you may be better off with a pay as you go.
- groceries and restaurants are both much bigger than they need to be (my partner and I spend ~200$/person/month with much less restaurant food than you).
- Christmas gifts seems a little high to me, although it's far from the most important thing to work on