Does your work offer any sort of commuter pass? Something that would reimburse for the tolls, perhaps? That'd be an instant savings right there.
There are a few options with the cars:
1. Carpool (with each other or coworkers).
2. Drive something more fuel efficient (@ $350/mo in gas, and average prices of gas in Raleigh about $2, you're buying 175 gallons of gas each month. Take your commute of 500 miles per wk + 50 on the weekend and you're at 2,200 miles each month. 2,200 miles / 175 gallons = 12.5mpg).
3. Sell one of your cars and buy something cheaper, in cash, removing that monthly payment from your budget.
4. Try to swing a work from home once a week, or at least make sure you're wife takes that option since she has it.
5. Inquire about commuter benefits at work. If nothing, perhaps speak to HR about implementing some, especially if a lot of people at work commute a long way.
6. Find jobs closer to home (lots of other considerations with this one, but it would reduce car usage each month)
Others:
1. Do you use that gym membership? If not, ditch it.
2. Wife cell phone ..... That could be cut in half for sure, without sacrificing much in terms of data (there is also wifi everywhere now)
3. Groceries - avoid impulse purchases at the grocery store, buy in bulk (Costco/Sams Club), avoid non-essentials like soda, candy, and other extras that just aren't healthy for you. Cut back on alcohol if you buy a bottle or three of wine a week.